Present
Claire's POV
My hands were shaking. How can i face her? Should i tell her whose voice was that?
I continued reading her diary....
The violence she faced at home. The betrayals. About my sister. About her. All of my questions are answered.
'I didn't ask for this life but i chose how to live it.'
'I am not broken — I am becoming '
'Life is leading me to a different path which i didn't even expect. That's how god makes life interested. In the story of life, there are unresolvable mysteries and twists.'
Those were the last things she wrote. I closed her diary and decided to sleep.
I rolled on the bed. This bed was so comfortable before but now something is tearing my body apart.
I couldn't sleep. It was already 5 am.Eliza might be awake now or is she sleeping because of the medicine?. Did she take it? I sat up on bed. I want to see her.
I decided to go to her room.
I jumped out of my bed and directly went to CR to wash my face and brush teeth.
I cleaned myself first before going to her room.
I caught my reflection on the mirror, staring at me was my little self. How cruel i was?
I don't know how to face her. But i badly want to see her.
What if she finds who did that?
Am i forgiven? I felt a ache in my chest.
What will aunt do if she finds out that i almost....killed her daughter?
"How much did she endured because of you?" I asked my reflection.
I took a deep breath and splashed water on my face over and over.
Then i went directly to her room. I was about to knock but she opened her door.
It was the first time i couldn't look at her eyes and smile at her. I forced myself but i couldn't.
She smiled her joyful smile.
This time i just stared at her with my lifeless eyes.
She asked,"Claire, if you're drowsy, then why did you wake up this early?"
I still didn't say anything. I bit my lower lip. I didn't wake up this early i didn't sleep.
"What happened? " she asked again. I just shook my head lifelessly like i drained all the energy i have.
She stepped aside and said, "come in" then pulled me in.
"What's wrong with you?" She asked again.
I shook my head and said "Nothing ", my voice was soft and cracking.
She held my face with her one hand and looked closer at my face."You cried?" She asked.
I took a deep breath and bit lower lip hard. She took her hands from my face and laughed softly
"You read my stupid words on that diary? That's not a problem. I just wanted to let you know what happened with me when you were not there.What made this change in me?" She said in a cheerful tone, like it was nothing.
To her surprise, i kissed her lips gently, my one hand cupping her face and other holding her palm.We pulled from that kiss and looked at each other.
The picture of her in that hospital bed kept flashing on my mind. It pierced through my heart.
"Tell me what's wrong " she whispered.
"Eliza " i managed to whisper "I love you."
"I swear, i can't hurt you... I swear."
She gave me a confused look. "You never hurted me." She is soo Innocent.
A tear slipped.from my eye.She gently wiped away that tear with her thumb.
I took a deep breath again and looked at her. I held her soft hands with both of my hands.
She looked closer, ready to listen to me. It was stabbing me. I can't imagine losing her again if she find out the truth. No... It can't happen. I pursed my lips before speaking. "Eliza " my voice cracked "Will you... Ever.." I looked at her eyes hoping for even a nod for my question eventhough it shouldn't be but she was listening what i am going to say? My lips trembled to speak again but i managed to ".. forgive the person who locked you up in that room?" ask.She immediately pulled her hands from mine "NO... NEVER AND EVER" her voice was dead serious. Her soft expression instantly changed cold. I held my breath and kept looking at her. I didn't dare to ask 'Why? '
But she bursted out "Why should i forgive him? " She looked straight in my eyes. I couldn't look away not even breath. I was stunned. "He locked me up to kill me. He said he will open it next morning. But he didn't no one did. I freeze in that cold night. There was not even a airhole to let me breath. I died there. I starved, cried, craved for a drop of water like a dog barking for a bit of mercy. What did i ever did to anyone there? It was the same boy who sticked those photos and even tried to kill me. I had to take medicines for the rest of my life. Why should i forgive him? For the trauma he gifted me? For freezing me for two nights? For taking my breath? My nose bleeded. I curled up there, coughed until i vomit blood. Everyone said i almost died but No... I was already dead." My hands started to shake and my whole body sweat profusely.
"I lost my appetite, my sleep. My whole childhood was a nightmare. I act crazy. I kept asking myself 'Why did i deserve that?' Why did he did that? To kill me. That's what he said 'Rot in silence, starve and vanish ' that's what he wanted. Those words keep shouting at me every night. I am still suffocating, that night is still choking me" she lashed out.
My knees lost it's balance, i sat on her bed.The guilt, the fear of losing her, My love for her even the sweetest things felt scary.
She took some deep breaths to calm herself. She closed her eyes for sometime then looked away. All i could do was to stare at her and feel helpless. I can't bear to lose her again.
She looked at me then sat beside me and said,"I am.. I am sorry. I didn't wanted to yell at me but i couldn't hold it back." Her expression was soft this time.
I gently shook my head. I am afraid to lose you, Eliza. I can't imagine a life without you. I already dreamed our future home, countries to travel with you and us.. holding our kids and playing with them.
"Why are staring —" she was cut off by my kiss. I cupped her face and deepened it as if she is slowly slipping away from me. I hugged and pulled her close to me then pulled from that kiss. "You know? You're acting weird " she said. I nodded and tightened my hug evenmore. "Someone said, he won't care about the things i am gonna tell about myself " she said in a playful tone. "Eliza?" I whispered.
"Hmm?"
"What if... that's me?"
She laughed at that. "You? No... It can't be ... We were friends... Why would you that? I trust you" she said, which stabbed me was her trust. I kissed her forehead and hugged her . I wanted to cry in her arms but i couldn't.
"We have school today " she said.... "You coming?" I asked and pulled from that hug. She nodded with a soft smile..
I cupped her face and kissed her cheek....
I couldn't hold it back. I always wanted to kiss her whenever i look into her eyes, whenever she smiles, whenever i wanted to scream she is mine, whenever i hold her in my arms.
"I love you, Eliza " i said, my lips brushing cheek. She smiled.
"What are you gonna do this early?" I asked her.
"To work" she said.
"Why are you still working?"
I heard her soft laugh.
"I was about to walk around that's when you came. Now i feel like working so i am gonna work." She said with a smile.
"Let's walk around this mansion, your palace." I said softly. Looking at her eyes and holding her hand.
I don't know how to breathe around her anymore. Every time she looks at me with those warm eyes, the guilt presses harder against my chest. How do you love someone you've nearly destroyed? How do you carry that weight and still look them in the eye?
I never meant to hurt her. God, never. I just wanted her to be scared for a moment—to feel what I felt growing up: powerless, unseen. But I lost control. I pushed it too far. And now, she smiles at me like I'm still her friend, like I still deserve that place in her life.
She's everything I never was—resilient, kind, brave beyond reason. And I… I'm just a boy hiding behind regret and shame. I love her in ways I can't even explain. Not just because she's beautiful or strong, but because she makes me want to be better. She makes me believe that maybe, even I could be forgiven. But not for this. Not for what I did.
She talks about her pain like it's poetry, like it's something that shaped her. But I saw it. The shaking hands. The haunted eyes. The way her voice breaks when she mentions that room. And I was the reason for it all.
I dream of a life with her. A quiet life. Holding her hands in the morning light, laughing at nothing, building a world where she never has to cry again. But it's a dream I don't deserve. Because the boy she trusts—the one she kissed this morning—is the same boy who left her in the dark.
And every time she smiles at me, it hurts. Because I know... the truth could take that smile away forever.