Pain.
Visceral, unadulterated pain is what Alaric has been experiencing in intervals during the past couple of months. He had thought that during the first few events, he would surely have died, but he just wouldn't let up. He keeps finding himself healed after waking up from being drained unconscious.
These past few months have been the longest he has ever had the misfortune of experiencing. He had never thought there would come a day that he would curse his resilience like he found himself doing multiple times during his time here.
The pipe, still firmly attached to his beating heart, still vibrated at regular intervals. When he was fully healed, it restarted the blood draining process all over again. So, it has been a constant hunger, pain, being knocked out, waking up to more pain over and over again in an agonising circle these past few months. He has never felt so helpless before.
He hasn't had a drop of water or food since he was here, and surprisingly, he was still breathing. It felt like the very concept of death despises his soul. He felt hungry, in fact, it kept growing as time went on, but he also felt stuffed; it was a very contradictory feeling. At this point, he had almost lost his will to live. He just wanted it to end.
Today, Alaric woke up to the constant darkness he had grown accustomed to during the past few months.
Suddenly…..
He saw something stir within the darkness and couldn't help but shout.
"Leave me alone." Alaric said while looking at the 'thing' that was still in the process of taking shape in the dark. It took only a few seconds to shape fully.
It had a pristine, smooth red form like a thick hose that slithered along the darkness, towards him. He could see its circular hollow head compress into a twisted slit that felt all too similar to a grin.
"What do you want from me. Leave me alone, please." He said in a pleading tone. He would cry, but they wouldn't just come out anymore. It has been months since he last felt his tears rolling down his cheeks.
Without being told, this was an 'idea' of the thing still connected to his beating heart.
Then he heard replies from nowhere.
"Why?"
"Why?"
"Why?"
"Why?"
"Why?"
"Why?"
"Why did you leave us? Why?"
"You left us to die. Why?"
The voices were filled with sorrow as they questioned the young man.
Of course, what he was currently seeing wasn't real; it was just his brain playing a trick on him. His mental health has been deteriorating during his time here. He has even been hearing these voices for a while now. Voices he could recognise very clearly. They were the voices of his dead neighbours and fellow villagers in the small settlement he lived in, but he felt no guilt, just plain indifference. It felt almost annoying at this point.
He always wondered why he had been experiencing such a thing when he clearly had no guilt at all. These kinds of situations only happen to people who regret their actions, and regret can only stem from guilt.
They can cause him physical pain, but emotional pain and regret will be hard to induce on someone like him. What he was feeling, though, was hyperarousal due to the isolation. It was a condition that was caused by fear in Isolation-Induced Hallucinations. Even without feeling guilty for running away and abandoning his village that night, he still felt that he owed them that much.
They had taken care of him from the day he had appeared at their settlement, irrespective of his origins, which was mysterious, even to him.
He had been taken in by a gentle widow, who took care of him from that day till disaster fell. He still wondered if he had ended up with someone else, if they would take care of him or throw him away while being labelled as a demon child.
His disregard and lack of anything emotional would have turned people away from him; he was sure of that. He probably would have died in a ditch somewhere. Her care for him was something he very much appreciated till the day he died.
Those voices were cut off as the 'pipe' began to vibrate again, this time, with a little bit more frequency than before.
*urg*
Feeling his blood being drained again, and the accompanying pain, he felt weakness wash over him. He almost made a final decision to end it all right now.
Truth be told, he could have ended his life during the first week here. He could bite off his tongue and choke on his blood while bleeding out, a very nasty way to go, but then again, he would be free, but he decided to wait it out in the hopes that something would change. He thought 'Maybe fate has more in store for me.'
Now, though, he felt there was no hope; maybe he was just being full of himself.
'Just one more time…. I will end my suffering.'
He made the final decision to give up after waking up from the next pain-inducing experience.
Slowly, his consciousness began to fade away for the umpteenth time. This time was different, though; he felt something in him snap, and with it, an unbridled amount of energy flooded his consciousness as he found his consciousness being pulled away by an unknown force.
He felt his surroundings change as bright colours flooded his eyes.
*argg*
He quickly closed them shut as the sudden flow of bright light stung his still weary eyes.
It took him a while to adjust to the illumination of his surroundings. He found himself standing in thin air; he couldn't even tell his position in space, he couldn't tell up from down and left from right, and it felt disorienting and surreal to him. It could be because of how sudden it was or because of his recent 'blindness', but it took him a while to gather his thoughts.
He felt detached from his body at this very moment; he couldn't feel the constant pain anymore.
He looked like a shrivelled-up shrimp; he couldn't even stand up straight right now. His back was hunched as he scanned the surrounding area. His once vibrant purple eyes and lustrous crimson hair had now lost their colour, lips dry and cracked, and his skin had gained an unhealthy shade of grey. It was an exact representation of his current physical form.
All around him was a kaleidoscope of bright colours that flowed everywhere, it almost felt infinite. The colours in the surroundings moved at a consistent pace. It felt alive and calming just by watching it.
It was the first time in months he had seen anything colourful, and it had to be so many at once. It was overwhelming to witness, but his indifferent expression remained a constant. He was truly a tough crowd to please.
Staying here for some time really wouldn't be a bad idea, but he refuses to show his awe on his face. If it's any consolation, his thoughts were a lot more honest.
'It's....' he tried to organise his thoughts amidst the exhaustion, 'beautiful'.
"Indeed, it is," a child-like voice came from behind him, signifying he wasn't bearing witness to this absolutely calming place alone.
Turning around, he found an image that made his expression change subtly, and slowly, a frown formed on his brow.
"Who are you?"