If even Kiss-shot herself hadn't realized her heart was gone, how powerful must the enemy in the shadows be?
The answer was obvious—somebody was throwing the match (not really).
Sū ěr smacked his lips. Despite having just drunk water, his throat felt dry again. Araragi and Think had explained the situation clearly, yet he still felt a bit lost.
"So, we barely get back to the beautiful modern world and we're already dragged into trouble?" Sū ěr sighed. Exhausted, he simply lay back and stared at the ceiling, where stains and cobwebs clung to the corners.
If his life were a novel, he really wished the genre was "Slice of Life." He wanted to wear a high school uniform, carry a leather bag, mess around with a deskmate, and go hang out after school... instead of worrying about this nonsense.
"How about we use magic to make ourselves younger and go to school?" Driven by a sudden whim, Sū ěr turned to Think and asked blankly, "Should we make our mental ages younger too?"
"Ha?" The transition was so fast even Think couldn't keep up. But before she could process the question, Sū ěr snapped back to reality.
"No, forget it," Sū ěr shook his head. "So, do you and Jibril have a plan? Or did you keep them around for a reason? I thought you wouldn't care about a 'normal' racial blood feud."
There was no panic in him. An event Araragi saw as a monumental crisis, a weight he had to carry on his shoulders, was to Sū ěr just a mundane annoyance.
"Miss Monster wanted to kill them outright. I preferred to wait for you to wake up before deciding."
"HA?! We made that decision together, and now you're pinning it all on me?! Can this weed just hurry up and die already?!"
Think "creatively edited" version of the facts reignited the war between her and Jibril. But Sū ěr... was used to it. He had already resigned himself to seeing these two bicker every single day for the rest of his long life.
At least the house won't be lonely, right?
"So, what do you want to do?"
"Me?"
Sū ěr addressed the person involved directly. Araragi Koyomi looked utterly lost.
"Who else? Do you want to protect that vampire over there?" Sū ěr continued. "There's no doubt you were charmed by her and acted on impulse. Though I'm surprised she didn't drain you to a husk—most vampires I know would've sucked the meat right off your bones—but an impulse is an impulse. You'll wake up one day."
"Are you willing, as a thrall dragged into this, to lay down your life for her? You mentioned you have two sisters. Can you embrace this eternal life and watch your family grow old and die? Or perhaps be hunted by vampire hunters and die before your sisters, leaving them to cry over your body?"
"Or... Araragi Koyomi, do you want to become human again?"
"You don't have to force yourself to accept a fate as an 'other'—stuck living with a complete stranger—just because you think the reality can't be changed."
With Think—wait, Jibril—help, Sū ěr took another sip of water. Speaking this much with such a weak body was making him drowsy again.
In this whole mess, the only thing Sū ěr felt sorry for was this high school boy who went out to buy some [adult magazines] and got caught in a supernatural storm. Supernatural power is an absolute for ordinary humans—it's a magical force no "love at first sight" can explain. To a human, a vampire's charm is an irresistible poison; it even makes them believe their actions are their own free will.
And Araragi was as ordinary as they come. Even more ordinary than Sū ěr before his own "transmigration." At least Sū ěr had been in the workforce for a few years and had some resistance to temptation. Araragi was still a virgin.
"Eh? I can really change back?" Araragi jaw dropped. But what Sū ěr noticed more was the blonde vampire on the other side.
While questioning Araragi, Sū ěr had been watching Kiss-shot out of the corner of his eye. At the mention of turning Araragi human again, her eyes widened too.
"Why not?" Sū ěr asked with a smile. "If an object has the scent of an apple, the taste of an apple, the look of an apple, the weight of an apple, and everything else an apple has... then it is an apple."
"Similarly, if you have the power of a human, the appearance of a human, the lifestyle of a human, and everything else a human has... then you are a human."
Sū ěr patted Think thigh.
"Allow me to introduce the greatest genius in the world, the Great Miss Nirvalen. If she puts her mind to it, forget turning you back into a human—she could turn you into a [white-stockinged] beautiful girl if that's what you wanted."
"Ahem! I can do it too! Don't underestimate a Flügel's precision in elemental manipulation!" Jibril raised her hand excitedly, kicking Sū ěr shin. This was a "game" she hadn't played before.
"Can you really?"
"Do you really want to?"
Araragi eyes lit up for a second, then dimmed at Sū ěr follow-up question.
"But... does that... really count as 'changing back'?" The black-haired teen looked conflicted. Sū ěr description made it sound like a mad scientist creating a Frankenstein's monster.
"If it's my phrasing that bothers you, we can just wipe your memory of this part. You'll just know you turned back into a human—no psychological burden whatsoever," Sū ěr said calmly.
Perfect.
"Don't feel embarrassed. For us, this is just a small favor... or rather, a bit of kindness I'm showing because I can't stand to watch."
Sū ěr closed his eyes and sighed.
"When fate suddenly descended upon me, I didn't have the power to resist or the right to choose."
"But now, you do."