"Now, can you hand over the information on Itachi?" the ever-stoic Sasuke demanded impatiently.
"Huh?" Deidara feigned surprise.
"Was there anything in the contract about selling information? I don't see it!" Deidara pretended to flip through the two agreements, putting on an exaggeratedly astonished expression.
"You bastard…!" Sasuke gritted his teeth in frustration.
"Hey, you jerk! Are you seriously planning to go back on your word?" Naruto erupted, clearly unable to hold back any longer. If he were capable of taking Deidara on, he would've already charged forward.
"No way! No way! No way!"
"Don't tell me you actually believed the promise of a rogue ninja?" Deidara said, feigning shock as he looked at Naruto and Sasuke like they were complete fools.
Sasuke clenched his fists tightly, his voice cold and threatening: "Mark my words—one day, I will kill you!"
Seeing that he had teased them enough, Deidara waved his hand dismissively. "Alright, alright. I was just joking."
"I'll give you the information now."
"After all, I'm an honest person," Deidara said with a smirk.
Sasuke, seeing that Deidara didn't seem to be lying, suppressed his anger and asked, "Where is Itachi?"
"Itachi is, of course, in our Amegakure," Deidara said, pointing to the rain symbol on his forehead protector.
"And he's already married and has a beautiful daughter."
"Congratulations, you're an uncle now. Are you happy?" Deidara said, playfully patting Sasuke on the shoulder.
"That man... That man... How dare he!" Sasuke was instantly consumed with rage.
"A traitor who slaughtered his entire clan dares to live such a happy life!" His body radiated intense killing intent and a dark aura, so much so that Sakura, who had been about to comfort him, froze in place.
"Sasuke-kun!" she called out hesitantly, too scared to approach.
Sasuke's Sharingan activated, and the single tomoe in his eyes began to spin, slowly evolving into a two-tomoe Sharingan.
Nani?!
I was just joking—how did I end up triggering this kid's Sharingan evolution?
Well, I guess this is a good thing, right? Surely Itachi won't blame me for this... right?
Who am I kidding?!
Please don't let Itachi come after me with Kotoamatsukami for driving his little brother to madness!
"Ahem!" Deidara coughed into his fist, trying to regain control of the situation.
"Listen, I was joking earlier."
"There's no way someone as stoic as Itachi could ever have a girlfriend, let alone get married and have kids."
Sasuke froze mid-rage. Sakura was equally stunned. Even the nearby ANBU agents monitoring the situation were caught off guard.
Wait... so the Sharingan evolved for nothing?
Sharingan: "So... should I leave now?"
Facing Sasuke's questioning glare, Deidara felt a bit guilty. "Don't sweat the details."
"Look on the bright side—you've successfully awakened your two-tomoe Sharingan. Your strength has improved significantly."
"If anything, you should be thanking me!" Deidara said with a cheeky grin.
By this point, Sasuke had lost all interest in gathering intel on Itachi. Or rather, he no longer trusted Deidara at all. Even if Deidara provided information, Sasuke would doubt its authenticity.
"Hey! You're the one who gave up, okay?" Deidara called out to Sasuke's retreating figure.
"Don't go saying I'm untrustworthy later!"
With the troublesome duo finally gone, Kurotsuchi happily clung to Deidara's arm. "Deidara-nii, let's go!"
"Mm," Deidara nodded, and the two continued on their way to Ichiraku Ramen.
But as everyone knows, protagonists are magnets for trouble.
Sure enough, another incident occurred.
As they passed a dango shop, Kurotsuchi expressed her curiosity about Konoha's famous dango. However, her comment startled a nearby child.
"She's scary! She wants to eat me!" the boy, Konohamaru, exclaimed, clearly misunderstanding.
Kurotsuchi shot a deadpan look at Konohamaru and his two companions. Kid, don't overthink it. Me eating dango has nothing to do with you, Konohamaru.
The situation might have ended there, but another customer in the shop overheard the commotion and misunderstood.
"Stop! What do you think you're doing?" shouted a woman clad in a trench coat over a fishnet bodysuit—Anko Mitarashi.
Before Deidara and Kurotsuchi could respond, Anko froze in shock.
"It's you!" she exclaimed, her tone heavy with history.
Kurotsuchi's expression darkened as she scrutinized the interaction. "Deidara-nii, do you know this woman?"
Deidara felt as though his left arm, tightly squeezed by Kurotsuchi, might shatter. Picking up on the obvious tension, he maintained a stoic expression and nodded.
"We've met a few times. I've been to Konoha before, after all."
"This woman overestimated herself and tried to stop me. Naturally, I gave her a good beating."
Hmm? Why is he acting so serious this time?
Anko was puzzled for a moment before realization struck. Oh, the girl clinging to his arm must be his girlfriend. That's why he's putting on this upright act.
Hah!
Anko suddenly had a brilliant idea.
I, Anko Mitarashi, have endured enough humiliation from you, Deidara. Today, I'll finally get my revenge!
"Konohamaru, Udon, Moegi, you three leave now. I'll handle this," Anko instructed the kids.
Udon sniffled loudly, clearly worried. "Anko-neechan, are you sure you'll be okay? Should we call for backup?"
Anko winced at being called "neechan." I'm only in my early twenties, in the prime of my life. What's with this "neechan" nonsense?
But for the sake of her plan, she let it slide.
With a smile, she reassured them, "Don't worry. I'm very strong!"
"Alright then," the kids nodded and quickly left the shop.
Once they were gone, Anko stood up and struck a deliberately seductive pose.
"Wow, you don't recognize me anymore?" she teased.
Hiss!
Feeling Kurotsuchi's nails dig into his side, Deidara winced in pain. He realized what Anko was trying to do.
No, Anko! I admit I was a bit harsh on you before, but I'm sincerely apologizing now. Please don't do this!
"Come visit me tonight, okay? After all, you gave me 700,000 ryō the first time we met," Anko said in a tone mimicking a bar hostess, trying to sound as suggestive as possible.
"Seven... seven hundred thousand ryō?!" The first to react wasn't Kurotsuchi but the three kids standing at the shop's entrance, their faces filled with shock.
Anko froze.
"Konohamaru, didn't I tell you to leave?" she asked, blushing furiously.
"I... I just remembered I left my wallet here," Konohamaru stammered, pointing to a small wallet under the table.
Anko sighed, patting the kids on their heads. "Whatever happens, you must never speak of this, okay?"
Faced with her deathly serious smile, the kids nodded frantically.
"Woof!"
A bark suddenly drew everyone's attention.
It turned out the kids weren't alone. Joining them were Kurenai Yuhi, Kiba Inuzuka, Shino Aburame, and Hinata Hyuga. The bark had come from Akamaru on Kiba's head.
"Kurenai, why are you here too?" Though Anko didn't say it out loud, her expression made it clear.
"We ran into the kids on the way and decided to assist," Moegi explained with a mischievous grin.
Kurenai stepped forward, leaning close to Anko and whispering, "Anko, if you're short on money, you can borrow some from me."
"A kunoichi should maintain her dignity, you know."
Anko: "..."
Let the world burn.
~~~~❃❃~~~~~~~~❃❃~~~~
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