"The Divine Assembly"
"Alright, let's get started!"
A lazy, drawn-out voice echoed, silencing the bustling round table.
"The N-th Thousandth Divine Assembly of Denatus is now in session! This time, I'll be your host, Loki! Nice to see ya!"
"YEAH!"
The gods and goddesses erupted into cheers and applause. Loki responded with a raised hand and a smug smile, grabbing the thick stack of documents before her. She glanced briefly at her nemesis, the petite and well-endowed Hestia. Normally, this would be the point where their rivalry ignited, but Loki decided to focus on her hosting duties for now.
"Alright, let's keep this snappy. First up, info exchange! Did y'all manage to dig up anything juicy that the document preparers couldn't find?"
At Loki's prompt, the deities straightened their expressions.
"Huh? What's with this sudden tension?"
Hestia, attending the Divine Assembly for the first time, was puzzled by the sudden shift in atmosphere. The answer came from the red-haired, one-eyed goddess seated beside her, Hephaestus.
"Two assemblies ago, the guild's document preparer managed to compile every single piece of intel brought up during the exchange into their report. It was useful, but it rendered the exchange pointless. Then last time, someone else tried to one-up them, but the preparer nailed it again. So, naturally, some of us took that as a challenge, and… well, here we are."
"W-Who on earth is this preparer?!"
Hestia clutched the thick packet in her hands, trembling. Approximately thirty deities were present at this assembly, yet somehow, one mortal managed to compile intel that surpassed even their divine insights.
"I'll go first! Soma's been reprimanded by the guild and had his one true hobby confiscated!"
"WHAT?!"
"Loki, is that in the report?!"
"…Page thirteen."
"Damn it all!"
While the reporting deity wallowed in despair, the others eagerly flipped to the referenced page, Hestia included.
"The guild has ordered Soma, head of the Soma Familia, to cease all activities related to his hobby, brewing alcohol. The report details everything from the origins of this decision to its resolution…"
The level of detail and entertaining style captivated the gods, raising the mood of the assembly considerably.
"Now for something serious. The Kingdom of Rakia is preparing to attack Orario again. Loki, what page is that on?"
"Page five."
The gods returned to their packets, finding notes estimating the timing of the attack (two to six months) and the size of the invading force (20,000 to 50,000 troops).
"Again?" a god muttered.
The Kingdom of Rakia had attacked Orario five times before, each attempt ending in their crushing defeat. The gods' reactions ranged from amused disdain to outright dismissal.
One by one, deities offered intel, only to be thwarted by the report's exhaustive thoroughness.
"I've got something." Loki announced with a smirk."I found out who compiled this report."
"WHAT?!"
"Who is it?!"
"Spill it!"
The gods, normally so composed, clamored like children, desperate to uncover the mortal capable of such feats.
"It's Hermes' own Shadow Devil."
"WHAT?!"
"That makes sense…"
"Wait, Hermes, you didn't cheat, did you?!"
"Hahaha, of course not! It's all their natural talent!" Hermes grinned, basking in the attention.
"Ugh, that smug look is infuriating!"
Amid the complaints and accusations, Hermes relished his moment in the spotlight.
"I've got one more announcement. That same Shadow Devil is now an official member of my familia!"
"WHAT?!"
"They were already a cheat code, and now they have a blessing?!"
"This is gonna be wild…"
The gods' reactions were split. Some buzzed with excitement, while others sank into dejection, realizing they'd lost any chance of recruiting the enigmatic mortal.
Loki steered the conversation back on track."Alright, focus up. The key takeaway here is Rakia's potential attack. The guild probably doesn't even need to hear this, but be ready, your familias might get called to action."
The gods nodded in agreement, their focus gradually returning. The assembly proceeded efficiently, thanks to the report's precision.
Then Loki's grin widened.
"Now, let's move on to the next item, titles!"
Tension rippled through the room. Gods who had remained quiet until now visibly stiffened, while veteran attendees grinned mischievously. The titling ceremony was about to begin, a highlight of Denatus and, for some, a cruel spectacle.
"Turn to page twenty-six. Alright, first up is Set's adventurer, Seti."
"Please, be gentle…"
"NO!"
"AAAAHHHH!"
The gods' sense of humor was notoriously unrestrained when it came to naming. While mortals dreamed of inspiring titles, gods reveled in concocting names that were, to put it lightly, distinctive.
Adding fuel to the fire was the Shadow Devil's detailed interviews, which provided a deeper understanding of each adventurer's personality. The more precise the insights, the more… creative the titles became.
"It's decided. Seti Celti shall henceforth be known as 'Burning Fighting Fighter of the Dawn Holy Dragon Knights.'"
"THAT'S SO CRINGE!"
"It's… unbearable…"
The titling continued, a chaotic mix of hilarity and mortification, as the Divine Assembly marched onward.
"Your Feelings, I Understand..."
"I completely understand how you feel... I was the same at first. Honestly, this is the one time I find this report utterly infuriating."
"Alright, next up. From Takemikazuchi's group... Oh, wow. What an adorable kid! Let's see… Born in the Far East, so the name comes last. Yamato Mikoto-chan."
"Hmm?"
"This one's... a strong contender."
"Black hair is always nice."
"She's too precious for this."
"Yeah, I can't bring myself to be cruel to such an innocent girl... it would feel wrong. Not that I'm soft or anything!"
"R-really!?"
In the divine assembly, there are a few ways to avoid getting saddled with a terrible alias. One method is when the person's character greatly charms the gods.
"However, Takemikazuchi, you're the problem here."
"It's written right here in the notes. When asked, 'What do you think about your patron deity?' she turned bright red and started stammering."
"Damn, I knew it!"
"You filthy lolicon!"
"Wh-what nonsense are you spewing!?"
"Ah, if this love cannot be, then perhaps I'll, heehee..."
"YOU LOT!"
But any trick a god might conceive would never escape Toki's foresight.
"Alright, I'll end this here and now. Mikoto-chan shall be called 'Future Galaxy Fortune Galaxy'!"
"Mikoto-chan, you're a wonderful girl, but your patron deity ruined it for you. 'Zero-Fallen Saint Last Heroine'!"
"Stop this! Please! Mikoto has worked so hard to grow under my guidance!"
"We know. It's written in the notes under 'Comments from the Patron Deity.'"
"'Angel Te-Shio.'"
"THAT'S IT!"
Despite a few reasonable suggestions, none were given any serious consideration.
"And so, Mikoto-chan's alias is officially... 'Absolute†Shadow'!"
"No objections."
"Ahhhh! Why, whyyyyy!?"
𓂀═════════════𓂀
The naming process continued with newer adventurers, each round met with collapsing gods and uncontrollable laughter.
Eventually, it was time for the more prominent Familia members. After some petty bickering between two goddesses of beauty, Loki pressed onward.
"Next adventurer... ohoho, the big one, Ais from my Familia!"
"The 'Sword Princess' is here!"
"She's as stunning as ever."
"Level 6 already? Seriously?"
"Her interview? Couldn't conduct one because of the expedition schedule? What's that about?"
"I heard this report was compiled in three days."
"You're kidding..."
"This? In three days?"
"Guess we can't complain..."
"And what's with this comment from her patron deity? 'Conclusion: Ais-san is my wife!!' Seriously?"
"Idiot. Look at the next page and the one after that, it's crammed full of details."
"Oh, you're right."
"Honestly, there's no need to change Ais-chan's alias."
"Yeah."
"If we had to, maybe something like 'Sword Saint'?"
"That doesn't fit her image at all."
"Agreed. The only real choice is obviously 'The Goddess of All Our Dreams'!"
"Say that again, and I'll kill you."
"We're sorry!"
𓂀═════════════𓂀
Finally, the naming ceremony reached its conclusion with the last adventurer, Bell Cranel from the Hestia Familia.
After calling his name, Loki stood silently.
"...Loki?"
"Before deciding his alias, I've got a question, you runt. How does someone manage to ascend their 'Grace' in just a month and a half? Care to explain?"
Thus began Loki's interrogation. Hestia, sweating bullets, struggled to dodge the questions. Bell's rapid growth stemmed from the rare skill 'Realis Phrase,' which he wasn't even aware of himself.
When it seemed like Hestia was cornered...
"Oh, what's the harm?"
An unexpected ally emerged, Freya. She calmly deflected the accusations and even backed her argument with details from the report.
As a result, the assembly agreed not to pry into Bell Cranel's growth any further.
"Freya-sama, you're leaving already?"
"Yes, I have urgent matters to attend to."
"At least stay to decide the runt's alias. It's the final one."
"Fufu. Sorry, but I must decline. Oh, but do make sure to give him a charming name, won't you?"
"You got it!"
𓂀═════════════𓂀
With Freya's radiant smile lighting up the room, the male gods were reinvigorated.
"Alright, time to get serious about this name."
"You know it."
"This human... we completely overlooked him."
"And yet, there's plenty about him in this report."
"Care to explain, Hermes?"
"Ah, the one who wrote this report is in a party with Bell-kun."
"Ah, now it all makes sense."
"To think they noticed before we did..."
"Who exactly is this 'Shadow Devil'?"
The gods' fascination with Toki only deepened. For the record, 'Shadow Devil' isn't an official alias, it's just what others started calling Toki, and it spread to the gods.
After much heated debate, arguably the longest in the assembly's history, a decision was finally reached:
"It's settled!"
==========
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