Lucifer was having a great time. He could tell Alastor decimated whatever he got up to, so the likely hood of at least a Vee being dead is pretty high, and he's probably a terrible person, because he's thrilled by the idea of his magic helping kill them. He imagines this is a bit how it feels to be high. Between his vindictiveness being validated and Charlie watching the duck rendition of the Nutcracker...Well, he doesn't know what being high feels like, because it takes more effort or stronger drugs than he's willing to do for them to touch him through his regeneration abilities, but this is how he thinks it probably feels a bit like.
Anyways, it means he's in a great mood when Charlie's frazzled girlfriend comes knocking on his door to get Charlie and tell her that Angel is back. He's a little sad their time together is cut short yet again, but he understands why, he follows them downstairs to see how the spider is doing for himself. Only pausing a moment to snap himself out of his comfy jammies into his normal attire.
A concerned and slightly amused Angel is holding the crazy maid, who's trying to clean him, while the bomb-loving chick laughs at them when they get to the lobby. The pornstar is a bit beat up and covered in a layer of dust, but he doesn't seem to be too injured or visibly more traumatized than before. The spider yelps and reveals a third set of arms to catch Charlie when she throws herself at the man. Meaning he has 2 sobbing women on him.
"Gosh, Charlie, ya know how to make a guy feel loved." Angel chuckles, patting her head awkwardly.
"Welcome back, Angel." Lucifer greets.
"Holy shit, Short King! You got my name right!" Angel blinks rapidly in surprise. Lucifer can't help blushing.
"People kept talking about you and your name is easier to remember!" Lucifer defends himself, pouting as he adds, "I'm trying to learn everyone's names."
"Do you know anyone else's name?" The bomb chick asks.
"He knows Alastor's name!" Charlie answers before he can. She pulls back, drying her eyes, and grins playfully like she didn't just sort of throw him under the bus.
"Ya know what, that tracks." Angel chuckles, setting the suddenly ominously muttering maid down, "Maybe we can find an easier way to help you remember names beside constant fighting or getting kidnapped?"
"That'd be helpful." Lucifer murmurs, awkwardly fidgeting. "I'm not sure why I'm so bad at names."
"You know depression and trauma can effect your ability to remember names, right?" Angel helpful tells him, making everyone fall silent for a moment and look at Lucifer.
"...Well, I do NOW." Lucifer grumps. Honestly, that explains so much. It wasn't until Lilith started getting really mean and he had to fake being fine more that he started to have more and more problems with names.
"It's okay, your Majesty, we've gotten used to it." Vagitha clearly doesn't mean any offense, and is even smiling a little, but it still makes Lucifer a bit upset.
"I still feel bad about it."
"We'll find something to help-" Angel's promise is cut off by the bartender, Dusk(?), showing up with Angel's Hell Pig, who squeals in excitement to see his owner and starts trying to wiggle out of the arms holding him. "Fatnuggles!! Baby!"
Angel scoops the pig out of Musk(?)'s arms and cuddles it close. Nuggets is wiggling and squealing and giving Angel little kisses. It's an adorable reunion!
"Did Husk and Cherri take good care of you?" Angel babbles at the happy creature. Husk! That's the bartender's name! Come on brain, please remember that! The guy's name is Husk, just like Lucifer is a husk of his former self.
"It was mostly Husk. He doted on the little fucker." Bomb-lady, Sherri(? Fuck, Angel JUST said her name!), tells the spider, leaning over and giving the pig a pat.
"Really?" Angel beams at Huuu.. Husk! Angel beams at Husk! Who steps closer and pets the pig between them.
"Well, yeah, he's important to you.. And he's kind of sweet."
The two Sinners are kind of adorable. They're both blushing and making heart eyes at each other.
"He grows on you, you know?" Husk's voice is soft.
It makes Lucifer uncomfortable to be witnessing what feels like an intimate moment, so he edges away. These are Charlie's friends. He's just her awkward dad that sometimes inserts himself on situations, but he doesn't want intrude on this. Whatever "this" is. So he portals back to his room as soon as he's out of sight. He suddenly unsure what to do with himself so he starts tiding up his suite a little bit.
He's not sure how long he putters around the suite before he gets a text from Charlie asking where he went, but he tells her to have fun and focus on her friends, they can have lunch or something tomorrow. He knows Charlie isn't as into his duck musicals. Well, more she's less into the duck part. She inherited his love of musicals and music.
She's at least a little reluctant to agree to not coming back upstairs for finish their hang out, which is nice. But seriously, Angel probably needs her support more than Lucifer does currently. Lucifer has had hundreds of centuries of coping with his traumas.
...And he may want to hang out with Alastor alone and question the Demon on what he did earlier without Charlie overhearing, he wants to know who died! Probably the moth given Angel's return, but he might have killed more than just one of those losers. Did they scream? Did they fight? Was their spirit CRUSHED?
He snaps himself back into the comfy sweater and duck covered pajama pants. He may have noticed Alastor's eyes lingering on him this morning. The softer look seemed to do something for the guy, and Lucifer is desperate enough to lean into that to keep his eyes on him.
Fuck, he's so pathetic... A tall, strong Sinner who couldn't care less about titles is a little nice and his bird brain is like "Love me! Love me! Love Me!" and ready to bend over. Not that he thinks Alastor wants anything sexual from him. It's actually a little bit of a relief.
Like, he's not an idiot. He knows Alastor is probably after his magic, especially now that he's had a taste, but that feels a lot less... violating? vulnerable? something along those lines. He's maybe a little traumatized and scared to do anything sexual right now. He mostly wants kisses and cuddles, to feel safe... and if he has to trade a little bit of power or make dumb deals to get that? He's pathetically willing to do that. His power is all he really has to offer anyone anyways, might as well make sure both parties are benefiting.
Not that he plans to strike a deal for hugs and kisses, that feels too much like an abuse of power and violation of free will for him to even seriously contemplate it. For now, help with preening and pointing at targets he wants gone are good enough. He doesn't care about most Sinners enough to care if Alastor uses his powers to kill them or not, so maybe he could strike up a deal that Bambi can uses Lucifer's magic as he sees fit, so long as he doesn't harm him, Charlie, or her friends, and helps Lucifer out with disciplining Sinners... and maybe preening his wings. BUT that last point will only be added depending on how these preening sessions go! If Lucifer OR Bambi hate anything about the 2 sessions that are part of this deal, then it's not a clause Lucifer would be willing to add.
Gosh, he's thinking too hard on this. For all he knows, he might end up annoying Alastor into leaving the Hotel again by the end of the 2 weeks the current deal lasts for. Lucifer knows he's a hard person to live with. Maybe if he wasn't, he wouldn't be repeatedly thrown out of shared living spaces as soon as he starts calling them home...
The sound of metal scratching in the hallway brings him out of his thoughts. He has absolutely no idea what that noise could be, so he cautiously goes out to the hall to find out. Only to double over laughing when he finds Alastor has manually scratched the "No" and the second "s" off of the "No Alastors Allowed" sign, so it now says "Alastor Allowed", and is looking extremely pleased with himself.
"Yeah, I guess that sign is kind of pointless!" Lucifer says, breathless from how hard he laughed. "With me constantly inviting you in."
"I'm glad you agree, Starlight!" Alastor beams. He holds up a steaming bowl, "I made gumbo for dinner!"
Lucifer flicks his tongue to get a good taste of the smell. "Smells wonderful! You're quite the chef!"
"You can thank my maman! She taught me all I know about cooking, and left me a wonderful cookbook full of all her recipes!" Alastor slips into the suite as Lucifer holds the door open for him, "How did it go with our dear Charlie? I hope my little misadventure didn't mess anything up."
"No, it's fine. Charlie isn't as into my duck musicals as I am and Angel probably needs her support more, so I told her we can just do lunch or something tomorrow." Lucifer waves off, closing the door and following Alastor to the table. "I think our talk about.. well, you know, finally got through to her, but time will tell."
"I do hope so. I'm getting tired of scolding her for her behavior." Alastor sets the bowl at Lucifer's seat and summons his own, taking the seat he's sat in their last 2 meals together. Lucifer doesn't know if he should be amused or offended that Alastor just assumed Lucifer wants him there. He decides on amused.
"Thanks for that, by the way." Lucifer says, climbing into his seat. "I don't think my conversations with her would have gone nearly as well without your help, Bambi."
"I don't like people abusing those they're supposed to care about." Alastor's eyes get this dark look, clearly remembering something unpleasant from his past, but he seems to blink it away fairly quickly. "Do you want your wings preened tonight? I don't want you to be uncomfortable for longer than you need to be."
"I don't have any other plans, besides changing my bandages before bed." Lucifer admits with a tiny bit of a blush. They're starting to itch again, but he can't take them off yet. If Alastor is going to preen his wings, the bandages will keep the dander from breaking the keratin sheaths getting in his still raw wounds. His wounds will be healed enough to not need the bandages when the second session swings around.
"Perfect!" Alastor seems weirdly and completely genuinely enthusiastic at the idea of preening Lucifer's wings... Maybe he's hoping to avoid having to interact between sessions? So he needs to get this session out of the way?
The gumbo is as delicious as it smells, he's more than a little embarrassed by the moan that leaves him. "I might need to marry you just to keep your cooking in my life."
"Who knew it would be that easy to join the Royal Family?" Alastor snarks.
"Fuck off, Bambi." Lucifer sticks his tongue out at him.
"Is that anyway to talk to your husband?" Alastor dramatically gasps and clutches a hand to his chest, "So cruel and vulgar!"
Lucifer groans and rubs his free hand down his face. "You're an awful, awful man."
"Yet you like me." Alastor teases.
"Unfortunately." Lucifer can't help quirking a playful smile, "I'm sure the feeling's mutual?"
"Unfortunately." Alastor echoes. The following silence is heavy in a way Lucifer wasn't expecting. Like there's an electric charge waiting to go off.
Then Shadow grabs his legs just above the knee, startling the hell out of him. The squeak he makes breaks the tension and makes them all laugh.
"Shadow! You scared me, you asshole!" Lucifer lightly scolds, but only gets a laughing grin and barely there hands sliding higher onto his thighs in response, making him blush up a storm. "What are you doing?"
The Shadow turns slightly 3d and takes his free hand to very obviously ask for head pats. It makes him break into giggles.
"How embarrassing.." Lucifer finds that Alastor is also blushing when he looks up.
"Do you want head pats, too, Bambi?" Lucifer teases. The Shadow's "hair" and "fur" feels like a mix of Earth fog and grass, not quite soft, not quite solid.
"Shut up and eat your gumbo."
"That wasn't a noooo." Lucifer snickers, but does return to eating his food, just multitasking by petting Shadow with his other hand. Shadow makes a bunch of happy chitters.
They don't talk for the rest of the meal, but it's not awkward or anything. Just relaxed contentment and Shadow's happy noises until Alastor sends the dishes to the kitchen.
"Where would you like to do this?" Alastor asks, Shadow twists out of Lucifer's lap to caress his back where his wings attach, as if to answer any doubts about what Alastor means.
"Er.. On the bed? It'd be the most physically comfortable for both of us." Lucifer fidgets, grimacing slightly as he adds. "I haven't actually had anyone preen my wings for me since the last time Lilith ripped out my flight feathers... maybe a couple hundred years after my Fall at the most. So needless to say, it's been a while since I let anyone touch them. We're going to be figuring out the best way to do this together."
"The more I hear about your ex-wife, the less I like her." Alastor says in a tone that screamed "I'd be scowling if I was physically capable". It's reassuring in a way Lucifer wasn't aware was possible. "I may have to leave the premises when she visits Charlie. I'm liable to try and eat her for her offenses against you and Charlie."
"I appreciate the thought, but Charlie would be upset if you did that." Lucifer points out, hopping off of his chair, which cues Alastor to get up from his seat. "You ... You don't have to accept, but you could always stay at the Palace with me if and when Lilith decides to finally visit Charlie."
"What?" Alastor seems more confused than anything.
"Well, er, I ... Look, I don't know if you have other places to stay, and I haven't minded us hanging out now that we aren't at each other's throats." Lucifer is feeling the 2 feet of height difference starkly right now, "You don't have to answer right now or anything, but it's an offer is all. You can forget I-"
"That's a lovely offer, but I suppose it depends on what I plan to be doing and where your Palace is located when the time comes." Alastor cuts him off, "I'll have to get back to you on that."
"That's fair." Lucifer relaxes, glad he somehow hasn't completely fucked this up yet. He heads over to his comedically large bed. It's that large both because he got used to needing to get a bed that large to share with Lilith, and because he can sleep comfortably with his wings out on it. "Guess we should start this preening session if you don't want to be here all night."
"I don't mind. I don't need to sleep most nights." SO he was lying about not sleeping! Lucifer has questions!.. He'll save them for later, though.
"Yeah, well, I do. That's one of those things I developed after my Fall as punishment." Lucifer huffs, a little annoyed. "And I usually only have nightmares, if I dream at all."
"They were not lenient on you at all, were they, Lu?" The uses of nickname and soft concerned tone of voice hits him harder than he'd like to admit.
"No.. no, they weren't.." Lucifer thinks about all the scars and unasked for changes to his body that came from the ones who said they loved him. It makes him need to blink back tears and hesitate to take his sweater off.
"Lucifer, you're shaking.." Alastor gently grabs one of Lucifer's trembling hands.
"Oh.."
"You're safe with me, My Starlight." Alastor says it like a promise. Like a prayer. Like he plans to keep Lucifer as close as he'll let him.
And as if Lucifer's heart wasn't beating fast enough, Alastor lifts his hand up and places a delicate kiss to the back of his knuckles. Lucifer's face actually hurts from how hard he's blushing. He doesn't really understand what Alastor's playing at. This seems like flirting? But Alastor doesn't flirt??? Is Lucifer finally going insane??
"Now, lets preen those pretty wings of yours, hm?"
"R-right!" Lucifer feels like he's completely lost the plot and isn't fully in reality, but in a much softer way than whenever he'd disassociate to escape from Lilith. It's more like he's so unused to nice that his system is panicking.
He's there enough to remember to remove his sweater with magic, because the wounds on his back pull nearly unbareably when he tries to manually put on or remove his shirt, and to get enough space between him and Alastor to release his wings without smacking the guy. He then climbs onto his bed and plops down closer to the foot. Alastor removes his coat and shoes before he climbs up onto the bed. Lucifer's anxiety snaps him back into his head when Alastor settles behind him. He can't help ruffling and fidgeting his wings nervously.
Lucifer doesn't actually know what he expected, but he can't help the little gasp that leaves him the moment impossibly gentle, and ridiculously warm, clawed fingers start carding through his feathers. The Demon proves he really does know what he's doing by just doing what needs to be done without Lucifer explaining shit.
The involuntary little gasps, sighs, and coos, and how quickly he starts to melt into a puddle under the Sinner's hands, is extremely embarrassing, but he'd probably turn into a sobbing mess if the Deer were to stop and leave at this very moment.
"Your wings are stunning up close." Alastor's voice is nearly a whisper, as if speaking too loudly will break the atmosphere. "Do you have any preening oil?"
Lucifer summons his favourite oil and a hand towel. The more snake traits he developed the less oils his wings produced naturally. One of the best things Sinners created in his opinion are the wide variety of preening oils, because before that he had to make do with whatever was on hand or ask Belle to make medical grade stuff.
"Excellent choice, Starlight."
Lucifer makes a little happy noise. Words being a bit of a lost cause at the moment. He's halfway between the meditative trance he falls into when he preens his wings and a horny mess because a pretty boy is complimenting him and touching his wings so nicely. He's aware enough to hope he doesn't pop an awkward boner.
"Would you like to lay down?" Alastor asks, "I don't mind if you fall asleep, I can just quietly listen to the radio while I work on your wings."
Lucifer slowly blinks as his brain struggles to process. "Okay.."
There's a little bit of a shuffle, but it ends with Lucifer laying on his stomach, hugging a pillow, and rapidly dozing off to Alastor's warm hands in his feathers and soft jazz drifting through the air.
This is going to change Lucifer's brain chemistry forever, he just knows it.
Notes
Alastor is fighting for his life here. Lucifer had been nervous and twitchy before melting into a puddle of fluffy feathers the second Alastor started preening, and now he keeps making adorable little noises.
Alastor isn't sure when his brain decided to ignore the instructions of "don't make moves on his King", but he can't argue with results. He now fully plans to start flirting and complimenting the hell out of his Starlight, because the way he blushed and flustered and stumble over the simplest praise and kind gesture, as if he's never been talked to so nicely.
Just when he thought he couldn't find the idiot any tragically cuter. Like a fluffy bird with a broken wing reluctantly trusting you to help fix it.
Lucifer's feathers are even softer and prettier up close than he imagined. Sure, there's a lot of damage, but it's easy to fix, so he does so. Thoroughly going through every layer of every wing, before repeating the process to spread the apple scented oil (because of course it is) evenly through.
Speaking of damage, Alastor doesn't like seeing all the bandages wrapped around Lucifer's torso, or finding pale yellow scars on patches of bare skin. Angelic steel must be one of the only things that can scar his angelic skin, or Lucifer would be much more scarred than he is. He can only guess where most of them came from, but there's a couple that are more obvious. Like the jagged (as if he fought tooth and nail to get away) ring of scarring around the base of Lucifer's wings. Alastor bets Vaggi has similar scars on her wings.
He vaguely wonders if Lucifer's wings changed like Vaggi claims hers did. And if so, what did they used to look like? Does he miss his old wings? Alastor hopes not. His current wings are perfection. Alastor can see why Lucifer was calling God's most beautiful creation.
He should also be called God's softest. Not only because of how soft the feathers and skin Alastor has gotten to touch tonight was, but also because of how emotionally soft the man is. He can completely understand how this creature's good intentions pathed the way to his own personal hell. It makes Alastor feel irrationally protective.
Lucifer can take care of himself. He's done it (Poorly, if you ask Alastor) for longer than time has existed. But that doesn't mean the angel should need to. Alastor's fully willing to be the villain to everyone he needs to be, if it lets Lucifer indulge in this softness. Not that Lucifer would ever ask that of him. Again, he's too soft for that.
Alastor keeps caressing Lucifer's wings long after he's finished preening them. He feels addicted to the texture under his fingers and the little noises Lucifer makes. His King is so sensitive to gentle touch.
Poor dear must be touch starved.
Once day begins to break, and Alastor uses his magic to clean the dandruff and feathers (saving the prettiest ones), does he remember that Lucifer was supposed to change his bandages last night. It's likely alright to put it off a little longer, Alastor would hate to wake the other. It's unfair how pretty the man is even while sleeping.
Lilith didn't deserve such a treasure if she wasn't willing to cherish him. And Heaven were fools to throw away such a gift.
Lucifer's wings twitching are the first sign that the angel is waking, but Alastor doesn't stop his petting, leading to a sleepy and slightly confused cooing sound to leave his King just before his eyes flutter open.
"Alastor?" His king slow blinks at him, "You stayed?"
"Of course, Starlight." Alastor's voice is stupidly soft. It makes them both blush, but Alastor refuses to back down. "How are you feeling?"
Lucifer's wings ruffle, as if testing how they feel, before shooting up with a delighted gasp. Pushing Alastor's hand, that was still petting one of his wings, deeper into his feathers. "Holy shit! You have magic hands! I don't think my wings have ever felt this good!"
"I'm glad to have helped." Alastor chuckles, gently extracting his hand and giving 2 more pets to straighten the feathers that got messed by Lucifer's abrupt movement. The shivers his King has in response are delectable.
"Thank you." Lucifer shyly smiles.
"It was my absolute pleasure, my Starlight." This makes Lucifer blush even brighter, he looks like he's even glowing a little. Fascinating!
The air is thick with an invisible tension again, but Lucifer breaks eye contact and defuses the situation by climbing off the bed careful of his wings, "I should change my bandages.."
"Yes.. Would you like any help?" Alastor offers.
"Oh! Um, no, no, that's alright! I got it!" Lucifer flusters, and pretty much runs to the ensuite bathroom.
Alastor lets him escape, chuckling quietly to himself and getting off the bed to put his shoes and coat back on. Lucifer is clearly not ready for what Alastor is starting to offer him. That's fine. Alastor can be patient... mostly. This is going to be a much more rewarding hunt than most he's had in recent years.
"What are your plans for the day?" Alastor asks once a freshly bandaged, and now sweater clad, Lucifer leaves the bathroom. He's a little sad to see that Lucifer tucked his wings away, but he adores seeing his King drowning in oversized sweaters. It makes keeping his hands to himself hell.
"I was going to work on paperwork mostly." Lucifer grimaces, "Hell is a logistical nightmare. Hopefully Charlie can help more Sinners become Heaven's problem soon."
"You have paperwork?" Alastor had never really thought about that.
"Unfortunately." Lucifer pouts and summons a rather large stack to himself. "This is exactly one week's worth and I have to stay on top of it or it gets thicker."
"That IS unfortunate." Alastor then remembers, "I never did share what I did yesterday."
"Oooo! Yes! Tell me!" Lucifer's vindictive smile makes Alastor's heart beat faster. It's so unfair how the Devil makes him feel!
"With you healing me and giving me a boost, the longest part was the walk to and from!" Alastor admits, and launches into his story, basking in the attention his King is giving him. "So I had Husker and Cherri-"
The rest of the time Lucifer spends with Alastor that morning is pretty relaxed, someone else made breakfast since Alastor stayed with Lucifer until they were ready to head down. They grabbed something quick and some coffee in the mostly empty kitchen (Nifty was working on dishes while cackling evilly), before they go their separate ways for the day. Which has lead Lucifer to now.
He's gotten around a third the way through his stack of paperwork, having started with the automatic divorce papers from Sinners and Hellborn alike asking for marriage annulments (his own included) that just need his approval. The papers are enchanted to give him a run down of the marriage and how truthful the filer is on the reason, which is why most don't ask for his authority when they could spin a less truthful reason to the Sin of their Ring. Lucifer almost always ends up granting the divorce, but it's not always in the filer's favour. Sometimes assholes will file with him thinking he'll be down with their selfish or pure evil reasons because of whatever stories they heard about him that paint him in a shitty light.
But anyways, he's magically and legally divorced as of an hour ago, and now can't focus on the building permits he's trying to read through. The inspections and whatever have to be done before they get sent to him for approval, but he still likes to make sure he's not approving something stupid. Like the time non-cannibal was trying to move into Cannibal Town to open a vegan restaurant because they wanted to preach their life style or something? Lucifer almost approved it just to see what would happen, but it seemed mean.
Mean to the vegan or cannibals is the toss up.
Instead of focusing on the permits though, he keeps thinking about how Alastor treated him last night/this morning. He keeps blushing and shivering in restless excitement thinking about how gentle and warm Alastor's every touch was, how flirty the man kept being without pushing, how respectful of potential boundaries, how he looked like he wished to worship Lucifer....
Lucifer NEEDS to talk to someone. He doesn't want to rush into anything, but he desperately wants what he thinks Alastor might be offering...
He summons his phone and shoots of a text asking the Sin in their own sort of complicated relationship (more the public's got a complicated opinion on it than it actually being complicated) if they have time to talk. He only has to wait a moment before his phone starts ringing.
"Hey, Oz." Lucifer says as he picks up.
"Luci! Baby! What's up? It's been too long since we've had a phone call!" Asmodeus's boisterous happy voice greets, "How can ol' Ozzie help? You mind if my partner listens in? You're on speaker currently!"
"Oh! Er? I guess that's fine? He's your life partner, right?" Lucifer fidgets.
"In everything." Asmodeus sounds absolutely lovestruck. Lucifer can't quite make out what his partner says, but Asmodeus chuckles.
"Okay, er, hello, Asmodeus's partner! I promise I don't mean any offense if I get your name wrong, I'm just awful with them and am still learning the names of people I've seen pretty much everyday since the last extermination to give you an idea of how bad I am at names." Lucifer warns.
"It's true. He's really bad at names, but remembers faces and actions fairly well." Asmodeus agrees. "His name is Fizzarolli, but he also goes by Fizz."
"Fizz, Fizz, Fizz. I will TRY to remember." Fizz like a drink. Fizzy carbon soda. "But anyways, I was calling being I need relationship advice."
"I don't know how much I'd be able to help. Lilith and I don't see eye to eye-"
"Not her. I divorced her." Lucifer can't help the annoyance that creeps into his voice at the thought of his ex. There's choking on the other side of the line. "No, there's someone else that has been making moves since I announced it, but I'm nervous to accept their affections, BUT I really want to."
"Whoa!Whoa!Whoa! Hold on! Back up! What do you mean you divorced Lilith?" Asmodeus sputters.
"I.." Lucifer sighs, not really wanting to explain, "Oz, we both know you're happy about this turn of events."
Which is the other reason he picked Asmodeus. He never asked WHY Oz didn't like Lilith, but it was pretty obvious the feeling was mutual.
"Well, yeah, but you've been married since forever. Can I ask why?"
"Lets just say, I finally came to my senses." Lucifer sounds as tired as he feels when he says it, "Something about being tortured into almost dying and waking up alone made me realize how toxic ... and as everyone keeps telling me recently, abusive, our marriage has been for who even knows how long now. I just can't keep torturing myself for a woman I'm not sure ever actually loved me.."
"Shit, Lucifer, I-"
"That!" Lucifer doesn't want to hear it, "Is not why I called!"
"Right, right, can't say I'll miss her." Asmodeus takes the hint, "So who's your new boo?"
"You're so going to laugh at me." Lucifer says dramatically and braces himself.
"What?" Asmodeus sounds amused already. "Who is it?"
"The Radio Demon..." Asmodeus just starts cackling.
"What?" An amused voice asks somewhere nearby, likely Asmodeus's partner. Shit! Carbon.. Soda.. Fon.. No, fucking damnit!
"Luci's been bitching about him for months!" Asmodeus explains, "What? Was the guy just pulling on your pigtails or something?"
"I don't know!" Lucifer whines, "I just know he's been going out of his way to help me out since I got hurt and started full on flirting with me! I'm a fucking weak man!"
"Were there no other tall fearless Sinners for you to latch onto?" Asmodeus laughs.
"Shut up!" Lucifer groans, "Look, I can't help that he's hot and I'm apparently weak as hell to affection after all the trauma Lilith gave me!"
"Okay, okay! What exactly has this guy been doing?" Fin-Fita-Fiiiiiiiii... Asmodeus's partner asks, he also sounds amused.
"Well, so, I was having problems with Charlie, and he kept scolding her about her behavior towards me and helping me talk to her. And-"
"You were having problems with Charlie?" Asmodeus is shocked.
"Yeah, but we've worked it out. Alastor helped a lot."
"Heyy! You at least remember his name!" Asmodeus teases.
"Ugh! Everyone keeps teasing me about that. But the asshole came out the gate swinging and made himself one of the most memorable people I've met in years." Lucifer huffs, "But Anyways! ALASTOR helped me get through to Charlie, has made me most of my meals since I returned to the Hotel, and kept me company for them, and listened to me ramble about my ducks, preened all 6 of my wings because I currently can't reach without pulling a stitch, staying even after I fell asleep on him! He also keeps complimenting me and flirting and doing stupid things like kissing my hand! Just uuugh!"
"Oh, wow.." Asmodeus's partner sounds wonderstruck.
"Damn. You're both pinning hard." Asmodeus states, "So what's the problem?"
"The problem IS..." Lucifer slumps in his seat, "that I'm terrified that if I agree to this, that it's going to be a Lilith situation all over again. Alastor's never been shy about only being at the Hotel for entertainment OR that he wants to be the most powerful Sinner... I don't think I could handle finding out that he only wants me for what I can do for him..."
"It sounds like you need to sit him down and talk to him about this." Fii.. Fizz-pop? FIZZ!! His Name Is Fizz!! Fizz states the obvious.
"I know... I just.."
"Being scared is natural, Your Majesty." Fizz sounds like he's smiling reassuringly.
"We're basically family, you don't have to call me "Your Majesty", Fizz." Lucifer tells the Imp.
"You've gotten better at names, you usually forget them by now." Asmodeus comments.
"Yeah, well, apparently it's a symptom of depression, and with Alastor around, even before these stupid feeling developed, I wasn't sinking as deeply into my episodes.." Lucifer blinks as he processes his own words, "Holy shit, going out of my way to argue with Bambi everyday was helping with my depression..."
"That's a cute nickname." Asmodeus snickers.
"Adorable." Fizz agrees, before continuing, "But Your- I mean, Lucifer, it's natural to be scared, but not talking isn't going to help. It sounds to me like he really likes you, but is willing to go at your pace. I assume you told him that your last relationship gave you some baggage?"
Lucifer grimaces, "Yeah, but even if I haven't, my paranoia would have given me away."
"Paranoia?" Asmodeus sounds concerned. Shit.
"When I said my marriage was toxic, I mean that... I think Belle probably pieced together how bad things got when she realized I know how to properly stitch angelic steel wounds closed.." There's startled gasps and sputtering on the other side of the line. Which is valid.
Lucifer is struggling to not feel ashamed. He feels like such an idiot, but then he remembers Jenna, Terry, and Laika, all ducks who stayed with abusive partners for various reason before leaving. If he wouldn't want them to feel ashamed for staying "longer than they should have", then he shouldn't feel ashamed either.
He feels a bit pathetic that he needs to project on a fictional character to feel better about his trauma, but surely that's more healthy than drowning in shame for being abused?
"She.." Asmodeus trails off.
"I don't want to talk about it." Lucifer states firmly.
"I'll fucking KILL HER!!" Asmodeus roars.
"Fizz, can you give him a hug and calm him down?" Lucifer half shouts into the phone.
"Yeah-" There's a bit too much going on on the other side of the line for Lucifer to know what's happening, but after a few minutes things calm down, "Okay, we're back!"
"Welcome back." Lucifer greets, adding, "You can't kill Lilith."
"Like hell I can't." Asmodeus growls.
"You won't if you don't want to upset Charlie." Lucifer warns lightly. He's not really sure how he'd feel if someone were to murder Lilith, but Charlie would definitely be upset.
"Does she know?" Asmodeus asks.
"About Lilith hurting me?" There's an affirming noise, "She does now. She got upset about me taking my wedding ring off and just kept pushing... She's apologized and we've talked it out, but I doubt she'd want Lilith dead either way. She believes in second chances too much for that."
"That girl is too much like you were." Asmodeus sighs.
"Yeah, the apple didn't fall far from the tree." Lucifer chuckles, "I just hope she never gets as crushed and jaded as I am."
"You know, from what little context I have, it sounds like you and the Radio Demon are already parenting her together." Fizz comments.
"You know that's why we started our petty squabbles, right?"
"What?" Asmodeus and Fizz ask at the same time, and are equally amused.
"Yeah, you already know I fell into one of my deepest depressive spirals about 8 years ago." There's an agreeing noise from Oz, "Well, Charlie must have said something disparaging or something that got misunderstood, because the moment I stepped into the Hotel, Alastor came at me, full swing, for being a bad dad."
"But you're not?" Asmodeus sounds flabbergasted.
"I mean, I'm not the best, but I like to think I try." Lucifer tilts his head back and stares blindly at the ceiling, "But he was under the impression I wasn't even trying, and started a petty rivalry over it. It was all just petty nonsense, but it slowly turned from annoying to fun.. I think for both of us.. But then that stupid TV-headed Sinner revealed I CAN'T harm Sinners before later kidnapping me and putting me in that torture box to be used as a battery..."
"Luci.." Asmodeus's concerned voice is back.
"I thought for sure Bambi was going to do something terrible to me now that he knew I couldn't retaliate. I knew he wouldn't do anything serious when I could bluff, but I didn't know what would happen now that he KNEW.. I was too hurt to even stand... Seeing him walk towards me when I couldn't help myself.. It scared me shitless.." Lucifer admits, thinking back to the slightly blurry memories of that night. "Only to wake up and find out he yelled at Charlie for not helping me... I don't know what he saw when he saw me that night, but he's been... amazing since then. Perfectly gentlemanly, but still willing to snark and play fight.. Fuck, I sound ridiculous."
"You sound like you're in love." Asmodeus counters.
"Just talk to the man." Fizz says firmly, "It sounds like he realized he had feelings for you when he almost lost you. That you match each other's freak. Now you need to sit down and have a serious conversation about what you both want from this relationship."
"True." Asmodeus cuts in, "You need to talk boundaries, potential life plans, if you're compatible in the bedroom. It sounds like you already know you're compatible outside the bedroom, but that doesn't always translate to the bedroom well."
"Not going to lie." Lucifer closes his eyes as if it'll help with the vulnerability he's feeling, "I'm not sure I'll be ready for sex for a while. Lilith wasn't very gentle and the last thing I need is to have a flashback and disassociate instead of enjoying myself. That's if Bambi even wants to do that kind of thing. He doesn't really seem the type, but I also pegged him as someone completely uninterested in non-platonic relationships and was wrong, so who knows."
"He would." Fizz points out.
"True." Lucifer huffs a laugh. "Thanks for letting me panic at you guys."
"Of course, Luci!" Asmodeus cheerfully says, but there's something dark in the tone. It doesn't seem to be aimed at Lucifer, so he'll leave it be.
"It's no problem, your- er, Lucifer, sir." Fizz fumbles the ending.
"So what's up on your end?" Lucifer decides to transition the conversation away from his life, he's pretty sure he's got it out of his system, "Without telling me about your sex lives, please."
The pair of pervs laugh at him, but excitedly start telling him about their newest business ventures. It's all sex toy stuff and lubes, but he knew that before he asked. He's not a complete prude, but he doesn't know what half of what they're talking about is. He does make the mistake of seeming too interested in one of the dildos they were explaining, so he may be getting a super embarrassing package soon... That he might use. LOOK, he might not be ready for sex, but his libido isn't dead! Let him be horny in peace!
Business calls the couple away after a while, so he lets them go and refocuses on his paperwork. It's a lot easier to focus now that he feels like he has a plan.
He doesn't. Not really. But it feels a little like he does and that makes a world of difference. He can totally be calm and normal about this... Who is he kidding? He's never been "chill" a day in his life.
Alastor goes through his duties with much more of a pep in his step than he's had in weeks. It seems to freak out everyone, especially the other staff, to see him in such a good mood. Even when dealing with the moody assholes who are upset that Husker is taking the next few days off.
Even when the news of WHAT Alastor did to "rescue" Angel Dust starts trickling into the Hotel, and Charlie came to scold him for "unnecessary violence", all he had to do was think about how vindictively amused Lucifer was to hear about the Vees deaths and he was right back to nearly skipping around. Who knew someone so sweet and soft would ask for all the gory details?
Alastor wonders what kind of violent fantasies his King has had, but never been able to enact? Alastor would LOVE to help with that!
Of course because things are going so well something bad must happen. He almost didn't notice that something WAS happening at first. But the Lobby falling into a hushed quiet is hard to ignore. So he goes looking for the reason.
"Mom?" He hears Charlie say just before he breaks from the crowd and finds the Princess and Ex-Queen staring at each other. The crowd of Sinners avoiding the 15 feet radius around the Ex-Queen to watch from a "safe" distance. "You came?"
"I said I would." Lilith's voice is musical, but all Alastor feels in disgust and HATE for the woman. "Would you happen to know where your father is?"
Charlie uncharacteristically frowns. "Why?"
"It's nothing to worry about, Charlie." Lilith dismisses, "I just need to talk to him about his childish behavior."
"What childish behavior? He's been recuperating from being tortured." Charlie crosses her arms to stare down her mother. "This is because he officially divorced you, isn't it? You're not here to help us, just yourself."
Murmuring breaks out among the Sinners.
"Charlie! What has gotten into you?" Lilith scolds. Alastor sees Charlie silently communicate with Vaggi, who pulls out her phone and starts rapidly texting on it. Hopefully warning Lucifer.
"I don't know, mom. WHAT has gotten into me?" Alastor is proud Charlie isn't backing down, but he's keeping a close eye on Lilith, just in case she tries something. "Maybe it was the EIGHT YEARS of silence. Maybe it was finding out you LIED about dad! MAYBE it's finding out you've been abusing the shit out of him for who knows how long!"
SHIT! CHARLIE!! Lucifer WOULD NOT want that information yelled into a crowd!!
"I've never done anything he didn't deserve." Lilith says stubbornly, then turns to walk towards the stairs. "I can see you aren't going to be reasonable about this, so we'll talk once you calm down. I assume the ridiculous apple shaped suite is your father's?"
Alastor cuts her off. "I believe I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"And who might you be?" Alastor gives her props for almost hiding the visceral disgust and hatred she has for him.
"I'm the Host of this fine establishment. I like to have a.. firm hand when it comes to troublemakers." Alastor gives her one of his most bloodthirsty smiles he can without letting his eldritch side out. "Am I going to need to use a firm hand with you, Miss?"
"Alastor!" Charlie sputters.
"Do you know WHO I am?" Lilith puts her hands on her hips.
"Mooom!" Charlie groans, with the tone of a child too used to their parent saying something like that and embarrassing them.
"Of course I do." Alastor rolls his eyes.
"Then you should move aside and let me see my husband." Lilith demands, but Alastor doesn't budge.
"We both know you're not married anymore." Alastor has a mocking edge to his voice, "Which is why you decided to show up, isn't it? It wasn't because your daughter has been repeatedly asking for help. Or that you wanted to reconnect. No. You just don't like that he finally cut you off. How does it feel to be as low as the rest of us lowly Sinners for the first time in your long, long life?"
"Charlie. Control your staff." Lilith growls at her daughter, who steps around her to stand almost between the 2. Alastor can't help the little bit of pride he feels when he realizes she's standing closer to him and angling her unprotected back towards him. A clear sign she trusts Alastor more than Lilith currently.
"I don't control anyone, Mom." Charlie mirrors Lilith's pose. "And even if I could claim to, no one controls Alastor. He does what he wants and sometimes takes suggestions because he wants to. And currently, he wants to help me and Dad. Which is more than I can say about you? Where have you been? Why have you been ignoring us? Why is it you only contacted me after Dad cut your access to his magic?"
"We can talk about this later. Now let me talk to Lucifer." Lilith demands, and Alastor feels Lucifer's magic rebuff what he can only assume was Lilith's magic trying to control him. He heard that she could control people with her voice, what a terrifying ability. Charlie doesn't seem to be immune, she steps to the side as if to let Lilith through, only to snap out of it a second later.
"Did you just try to control me!?" Charlie's demonic features burst forth. Vaggi is suddenly in front of Charlie with her wings flared and angelic steel spear pointed at Lilith. "What The Hell, Mom!?"
Alastor loosens his control on his eldritch features, but doesn't let himself get too much taller. He doesn't want to break the Hotel.
"I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE."
There's fear in Lilith's eyes, but she pretends there isn't. She straighten up and turns towards the doors.
"Fine. I'll leave. It seems everyone needs to calm down. But I'll be back. Lucifer is NOT getting out of this conversation." And with that she struts out.
Alastor goes back to "normal" before commenting. "What a raggedy old bitch?"
"Please don't call my mom that, Al." Charlie sounds tired, before she smacks her cheeks and perks up. She addresses the Sinners around them. "Sorry you had to see that, folks! Please ignore that little bit of family drama! Let's get back to talking about redemption!"
"You heard her!" Vaggi growls, getting out of her battle stance.
"Yes. You heard the Princess." Alastor menaces the crowd. "I could always use a good meal."
Making it clear he'll personally deal with anyone causing trouble with the information they just learned, which seems to be a much more terrifying thought to the Sinners who know what he did to the Vees yesterday. One of the unfortunate side effects of being a cannibal in Hell is that you're almost always hungry if you don't eat Sinner flesh regularly. Which is one of the reasons why cannibals tend to group up, it's hard for other Sinners to truly understand, and some cannibals only committed the "offense" of cannibalism to survive a deathly situation. Those unfortunate souls tend to rely on other cannibals who didn't just eat humans for survival to get their meat for meals. A bit how a squeamish human will buy pre-butchered and prepped animal meats from the store. Same concept, but cannibalistic Sinners can't just cut out Sinner meat without consequence like a human could suddenly choose to be vegetarian or vegan or whatever.
Alastor isn't morally upstanding enough for his cannibal curse to feel like a curse. There's so many Sinners who fall under his "victim" type that he can make a quick meal of. Not that he needs to eat a whole person in one go, he can butcher someone and eat them over several days. It starves off the hunger longer than eating one large meal in one go, like yesterday. But only meals like yesterday truly make him truly feel full. That, or angel meat. Rosie made him a wonderful meal out of an exorcist that kept him feeling full for a week.
He wonders if Lucifer would let him nibble on him a little every once in a while? He won't bite him or anything without permission, but it would be interesting to know how an archangel compares. He bet a single bite would keep him full for a month.
Charlie sighs in exasperation, but all the nosy Sinners scatter.
"Alastor?" Charlie doesn't bother scolding him, "Could you go check on my dad? He seems more comfortable being vulnerable around you."
"Of course, dear!" Alastor easily agrees.
"Thanks, Al." She smiles brightly at him. Fuck, these Morningstars are making him soft.
He disappears into the shadows and up on his shared floor with his King. He quickly knocks on the door. "Starlight?"
The door seems to open on its own. He steps in and looks around for his angel. There's a stack of paperwork knocked over on the coffee table, but nothing else seems to be out of place. He closes and locks the door before setting his Shadow off to search for Lucifer. He's not scared of potentially finding anyone not Lucifer in here. He'll just kill and eat them.
"Lu?"
There's a squeaking noise from deeper in the suite, which has his Shadow shooting off. And as he follows, he can hear something, but only once he feels how upset his Shadow is does he realize the noise is Lucifer's panicked breathing. Alastor rushes over and finds Lucifer has jammed himself in a small hiding spot under his desk, and is having a panic attack. His Shadow is hovering, and looking at Alastor for help.
He approaches the desk slowly, moving the chair out of the way to kneel on the floor in front of him, but hopefully far enough back to not make him feel trapped.
"Lucifer? Can you hear me?" Lucifer opens his mouth as if to say something, but all that comes out is that squeaking noise he had heard. "Don't worry about talking, Starlight. Can I hold your hand?"
A trembling sweater covered hand reaches out. Alastor gently brings it closer to him, rolling the sleeve up to reveal a deceptively delicate hand. He presses a kiss to the fingers, causing Lucifer's breath to hitch.
"Try to follow my breathing, okay?" He says pressing his King's hand to his chest, closer to his throat to not aggravate his own wound, so Lucifer can feel the inhales and exhales. Lucifer nods and tries his best. "That's it.. You're doing well.."
Lucifer's breath hitches again and blushes at the praise, but it seems to help, so Alastor keeps going until Lucifer's no longer hyperventilating. He only stops when Lucifer's lips start trembling and he turns those big watery eyes directly at him.
"Lu?" Alastor is unsure what's happening, but the noise Lucifer makes in response sounds a lot like a sob. "Would.. Would you like a hug?"
It seems to take Lucifer a second to process the question, but the flood gates seem to break the second it does. He bursts into tears and sobs.
"Ye-Ye-Ye-ssss," Lucifer barely gets out, while nodding and trying to rub away some of his tears. It's so unfair that he's pretty even while crying!
"Okay. I got you." Alastor says and gently scoops the man out of his hiding spot. Lucifer latches on, burying his face in Alastor's shoulder, while being careful of Alastor's chest wound.
Alastor gets off the floor and takes them to Lucifer's bed. Sitting on the edge and holding his King close as he whispers reassurances. His Starlight was clearly overdue for this breakdown. He recalls having one a bit like this when he realized he might see his father again, before he picked himself up and realized he wasn't that scared little boy anymore. He then tried to find the man to kill him again, but an exorcist apparently already killed the good-for-nothing. Something tells Alastor that Lucifer isn't going to want to handle Lilith with murder, (at least if it isn't a cut and dry case of self-dense) but that's fine, Alastor can figure out other ways to be petty to the bitch.
He's not sure how long it takes for Lucifer to calm down, but Alastor brushes away his tears when he finally unburies his face from Alastor's shoulder.
"There you are." There's too much affection in his voice, but whatever.
"S-sorry about crying all over you." Lucifer's face turns that charming shade of golden yellow, but Alastor won't stand for the shame and guilt.
"There's nothing to apologize for, Sweetheart. You clearly needed that, and clothes can be washed or replaced." Alastor rubbing a hand lightly up and down his King's back. His King shutters a little and melts into the touch.
They stay like that for a while. Lucifer clearly thinking something over as the hand Alastor had uncovered fiddles with one of Alastor's buttons. Just feeling the texture mindlessly til he's ready to speak.
"Why are you doing this?" Lucifer finally says, tensing slightly, as if he expects Alastor to lash out.
"What do you mean?" Alastor keeps his voice level and calm.
"I mean.." Lucifer takes a second, before getting frustrated with himself. "Why are you being so nice? And flirting? And caring? Do you actually want to be with me? Or is it just a ploy? Do you want me? Or just my power? I just... I can't go through this again... Just tell me if this is for power..."
His voice is closer to a whisper by the end.
"Well," Alastor doesn't like how tense Lucifer is, as if bracing for the worst. So in a playful voice and making sure Lucifer can see him wiggle his eyebrows at him. "Your power is definitely attractive. Very seductive!"
It works as attended. Lucifer smacks his shoulder, but is clearly trying not to laugh. "Asshole."
"But, really, if I was really in it just for the power, I wouldn't be doing all the things I have been." Alastor chuckles, keeping eye contact as he continues, "I would have just offered to be your Executioner and brokered a deal, not spend a whole night petting your feathers or personally helping with your panic attack or letting you cry all over me."
"So..?" Lucifer gets shy, fingers twisting in the fabric of Alastor's jacket.
"I'm willing to be anything you're ready for, but I'd like you to be Mine." Alastor can't quite keep his possessiveness in check. "And Only Mine."
"Oh." Lucifer's delightful blush creeps down his neck and under the sweater. Alastor wonders how far down it goes, but knows this is not the time. "I.. I think I'd like that."
Alastor beams at the confession, leaning down, "May I kiss you?"
"Please.." Lucifer's nervous and awkward, as if scared Alastor is about to declare it all a joke, but proceeds to melt when Alastor presses their lips together.
Now, Alastor may not have however long Lucifer has had to learn kissing, especially around sharp teeth, but it wasn't uncommon for Alastor to seduce his targets to get them alone, so he had plenty of practice while alive to know generally what he's doing. Lucifer clearly has no complaints as he buries his cold fingers into Alastor's hair, pulling him even closer. Alastor could listen to Lucifer's little gasps and sighs forever.
There's a gross trail of spit when they finally break apart to breath, which seems to make Lucifer break into breathless giggles.
"Hi." Alastor greets as they calm down slightly.
"Hi." Lucifer echoes, smiling oh so beautifully.
"You're absolutely ethereal.." Slips out of Alastor without permission, making them both blush even more than they already were. Lucifer kisses him again, it's as sweet as spun sugar.
"Stay?" Lucifer shyly asks when they pull apart again. It's clear that he doesn't just mean right now, or just tonight.
"For as long as you want me." Alastor promises, and is pulled into another heated kiss.
Lucifer wakes up from the nap he ended up taking after making out with Alastor to his phone blowing up. It's where he left it in his panic, over on the coffee table. Which is so completely out of his reach without getting off of the bed he's so comfortably cuddled up to Alastor on.
"I hate those noisy little boxes." Alastor complains. Lucifer groans, nuzzling Alastor's collar bone. "If you don't silence it, I'll break it."
And suddenly Lucifer remembers he has magic, summoning his phone to the hand not still covered in a sweater paw. He instantly turns the sound off, before squinting grumpily at the screen. Once he realizes what he's looking at, he tosses it to an empty spot on the bed.
"Ugh.."
"Hm?" One of Alastor's hands wonder off his back and into his hair, making Lucifer make a happy little noise. He unconsciously leans into the petting.
"It's just my siblings. Making fun of me mostly." Lucifer mutters in explanation. "Oz blabbed about my phone call with him where I was breaking the news about divorcing Lilith and panicking about liking you, but not knowing exactly what you want from me. Which pretty much boiled down to him and his partner telling me to just ask... Though they probably didn't mean when fresh from a panic attack."
"Probably not." Alastor chuckles, then teases, "I made you nervous enough to need advice?"
"In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a fucking disaster and you're fucking hot." Lucifer whines and goes back to hiding his face in Alastor's shoulders.
"You only think so because snakes are cold-blooded." There's a beat of silence as the dad-joke sets in, then they're both cackling.
"That was awful!"
"Yet you laughed!" Alastor points out.
"What can I say? My humor's a little quackers." Lucifer pauses before adding, "Quack!"
And like that, they're both laughing again. Only to be interrupted by a knock on the door.
"Dad? Al?" Charlie's voice is concerned. "Are you there?"
Lucifer props himself up on an elbow, careful to have it dig into the mattress and not Alastor, so that he isn't yelling in Alastor's face. "One moment, Char-Char!"
Alastor chuckles, "Duty calls."
"Every day of my life." Lucifer plants a quick kiss on Alastor before riggling off the bed to let Charlie in. Charlie is fidgeting when he opens the door. "Everything alright?"
"I'm Soooo Sorry, Dad! I just saw Mom and got mad! I wasn't thinking about where we were! And-"
"Whoa! Whoa! Charlie! What are you talking about?" Lucifer cuts off her guilty rambling.
"Ha.. Have you not seen what's going on online?" Charlie asks nervously.
"Not going to lie, I had a panic attack, and then took a nap." Lucifer admits, "I only woke up a few minutes ago. What's going on?"
"Well, um.. Someone, well, multiple someones, recorded what happened when Mom stopped by earlier.." Lucifer can feel dread building, "So, uh, good news! Everyone knows you guys are divorced!"
Lucifer braces himself, "And the bad news?"
"They might also know you're recuperating from being tortured... And that Momabusedyou!" It takes a second for him to understand the last bit, but once he does? He understands why Charlie looks so guilty. He takes a deep calming breath. "Dad?"
"Give him a second to process, dear." Alastor tells her as he gently pulls Lucifer into his chest.
Lucifer leans into his... whatever-label-Alastor-would-like-to-be-called as he mentally assesses this newest curve ball in his life. On one hand, he hates everything his daughter just told him, but on the other, what's done is done, so now he needs to figure out how to exist in his new reality.
With the information of his torture now common knowledge, he can hide in his suite without it being suspicious to the Penagram at large and rumors of him abandoning this type of endeavor a second time sprouting up. But also means people might try to take pot shots at him to "get lucky".
THAT, OR they'll be condescending or pitying because of the whole Lilith situation...
"OH, fuck! The group chat!" Lucifer's out burst startles both of his favourite people. He summons his phone to him and opens the sibling group chat to actually read/see what was being sent.
Sure, the first few messages were in fact Oz making fun of him about Alastor, but there was a video attached that he now realizes was shot in the Hotel. And then the rest of his siblings making fun of him in response, but are also extremely concerned. He cautiously opens the video and Alastor's mocking voice is the first thing he hears. It's even more staticky than normal.
"Of course I do." The camera person is edging through the crowd to see. They're quite short compared to those around them.
"Then you should move aside and let me see my husband." Lilith demands. The dread is back.
"We both know you're not married anymore." Alastor's mocking voice has a hard edge to it, "Which is why you decided to show up, isn't it? It wasn't because your daughter has been repeatedly asking for help. Or that you wanted to reconnect. No. You just don't like that he finally cut you off. How does it feel to be as low as the rest of us lowly Sinners for the first time in your long, long life?"
"Charlie. Control your staff." Lilith growls at her daughter.
The camera person finally finds a good spot to see. Lucifer feels happy when he realizes Charlie's standing closer to a glitching-out-of-focus-Alastor and angling her unprotected back towards him. A clear sign she trusts Alastor more than Lilith in that moment.
"I don't control anyone, Mom." Charlie mirrors Lilith's hands on hips pose. "And even if I could claim to, no one controls Alastor. He does what he wants and sometimes takes suggestions because he wants to. And currently, he wants to help me and Dad. Which is more than I can say about you? Where have you been? Why have you been ignoring us? Why is it you only contacted me after Dad cut your access to his magic?"
"We can talk about this later. Now let me talk to Lucifer." Lilith demands, clearly trying to use her ability on Charlie and Alastor. Charlie's enough of his child that she's able to snap out of it. And Alastor still has Lucifer's magic in him, so it instantly doesn't work for him.
"Did you just try to control me!?" Charlie's demonic features burst forth. Vaggi is suddenly in front of Charlie with her wings flared and angelic steel spear pointed at Lilith. "What The Hell, Mom!?"
Alastor lets some of his eldritch features out, but doesn't let himself get too much taller. His voice is nearly unintelligible from all the static.
"I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE."
Lilith straighten up and turns towards the doors.
"Fine. I'll leave. It seems everyone needs to calm down. But I'll be back. Lucifer is NOT getting out of this conversation." And with that she struts out.
Alastor goes back to his normal before commenting. "What a raggedy old bitch?"
And then the video ends. He just stares at his phone for a minute as the video, processing.
"Starlight?" Alastor suddenly asks. He seems a bit nervous. Like he isn't sure what Lucifer's reaction is going to be. Which is fair when you factor in the information he didn't want out there being on record, and the obvious threat Lilith issued on her way out, BUT his daughter and Current-Person worked together to defend him. He's panicky and happy at the same time. He wants to hug and kiss both of them...
Ah, Hell. Go big or go home.
Lucifer pulls Alastor into a kiss, putting all his thankfulness into it, before Charlie makes an excited noise, so he pulls back to look at her questioningly, but she's too busy looking off starry-eyed.
"Two Dads!!" She's happily muttering to herself, making Lucifer laugh. He pulls her into a hug.
"Thank you both for dealing with Lilith and defending me. It means more than you probably know."
Charlie hugs him back firmly, but mindful of his still healing wounds. "Of course, Dad."
She pulls back and smiles at Alastor. "I just thought about what Rosie told me! To ignore the words and focus on what their actions said!"
Lucifer has no idea who that is? Maybe a friend of Alastor's?
"Oh?" Alastor gently, but possessively pulls Lucifer to him. Lucifer lets it happen because he finds it sweet and funny. "And what actions have those been?"
"That Dad has gone out of his way to help, learn, and adapt to help me with my dream, even if he's not as convinced it'd work. He's been doing his best and encouraging me." Charlie states, "While Mom couldn't even bother to answer a text for nearly 8 years, not until she wanted something. I love my mom, she raised me, but Dad is who's actually been helping me."
"So we agree that Lilith isn't allowed to stay here?" Alastor asks.
"Not without several serious talks AND Dad's permission..." She focuses on Lucifer, "I don't want to drive you from your home again.. it was wrong of me to kick you out."
Lucifer reassuringly pats her arm (the closest thing he could reach in Alastor's possessive hold), "I won't say it's alright, because it wasn't, but I forgive you."
"Okay." She looks like she's going to burst into tears for a moment, before she wraps both him and Alastor in a hug, squeezing them tightly, before pulling back, "I have to go tell Vaggi!"
"Wha-?" And she's gone! Just sprinted down the hall. "Well.. that happened."
"Indeed." They both end up snickering.
"Alright," Alastor easily lets Lucifer "break" from his hold. Lucifer then gently, but firmly pushes Alastor back into his room. "We need to talk about boundaries and things if we're going to be doing this. I want both of us to be comfortable."
"Oh? What do you have in mind?" Alastor asks. Lucifer shuts and locks the door, feeling a little paranoid, before heading towards his couch.
"Like boundaries on public affection? Sex? What label would you like to use?" Lucifer says while tidying up his paperwork. He knocked it over when the terror of seeing Lilith again, so soon, hit him like a brick to the face. It's all a bit of a blur until Alastor got him to calm down. "Because I don't mind PDA, but I can't see either of us caring for the "boyfriends" label."
"Yuck! I hate that label!" Alastor groans, before pausing to ask. " "PDA"?"
" "Public Displays of Affection"." Lucifer clarifies, "I don't mind, even LIKE, things like hugs, kisses, hand holding, cuddling, stuff like that, in more public spaces or in front of people, but I prefer anything more.. salacious to stay more private."
"That is reasonable." Alastor agrees, before asking, "What do you feel about the labels partner or paramour?"
"I'm fine with using those. How do you feel about me also calling you my lover?" Lucifer questions, "I'll likely use that most when talking with the Sins. I don't think Mammon knows what a paramour is and is dumb enough to not read between the lines if I call you my partner."
"That's fine, I suppose. Anything is better than "boyfriend"." Alastor says, proving Lucifer's assumption about Alastor hating such a childish seeming label so right.
"Awesome!" Lucifer beams at him.
"And the topic of sex?" Alastor responsibly brings up the topic. Lucifer can't help cringing, but knows they need to have this conversation so there's no misunderstandings.
"Yeah, uh, I don't think I can stomach having sex for a while." Lucifer reluctantly admits, before rushing into a rambling explanation. "Like, I'll probably want to eventually, I liked sex, but, um, I'm realizing the amount of times I dissociated during the act with Lilith means I definitely need to work through that trauma before we try anything, if you even want to do anything, because the last thing we need is for me to have a PTSD episode when we're supposed to be having fun. Again, that's if you even want sex! I'm perfectly fine taking care of those needs by myself if I get to the point where I'd be willing to have sex, but you don't. It's just-"
Alastor grabs Lucifer's hand, kissing the fingers, and making Lucifer's brain malfunction.
"Sex is one of those things I could take or leave, my Starlight." Alastor tells him, "We can revisit the topic when you decide you're ready, but I'm very neutral on the subject, I don't love it or hate it. So if we never have sex or eventually do, it's all the same to me."
"Fuck.. Okay." Lucifer says softly. "I hope you don't regret this."
"I doubt I will." Alastor's smile is stupidly charming. Lucifer gives him a kiss, hoping the storm of emotions he's feeling can be felt and understood by this stupidly perfect Deer.
With the big things out of the way, they end up cuddled up on the couch, while Alastor reads a book and Lucifer back to working on paperwork, with music playing in the background. It's calm and relaxing, and Lucifer is most of the way through the stack when he suddenly snickers.
"What?" Alastor looks at him, amused and confused by the random laughter.
"I was thinking about how my magic protected you from Lilith, which had me thinking about that Executioner thing you mentioned," Lucifer gives him a playful grin, "and I was thinking, what if we did negotiate a deal that would give you that title and access to my magic for much longer than the 2 weeks that the current one gives you? Then anytime anyone unimportant asks what you are to me, I can be like "He's my Executioner." and strut away. It'd be hilariously confusing to people, especially if they just saw us being couple-y."
Alastor looks thoughtful and amused.
"So what do you say? Wanna be my big bad Executioner?" Lucifer is sure the flirting is completely inappropriate, but he gives zero fucks while looking up at Alastor's pretty eyes.
"You're quite vicious for an angel." Alastor chuckles. "I'm assuming the same rules of not hurting you, your family, or Charlie's friends, but not caring if I use your power against anyone else?"
"If Heaven didn't want me to become so morally compromised, they shouldn't have thrown me into Hell." Lucifer dismisses. It took a long time for him to get this fucked up, Heaven could have helped at any point, but instead compounded the problems down here instead. Case and point, the seven years of Extermination that he couldn't do anything about until the Exorcists broke the treaty he brokered to keep Hellborn and Charlie safe. Rest in peace Dazzle. "But yeah, I think I have a good enough grasp on your moral compass to trust you, but also not enough fucks to give for most Sinners to double check who you're eating. We'll also add a clause that either of us can back out of the deal at anytime. I don't want either of us to feel trapped if feelings fade..."
"Lu.." Lucifer doesn't feel like addressing his abandonment issues at this specific moment, so he continues.
"AND a clause that you CAN harm someone in the friends or family category in self defense or defense of someone else. But it should be proportional to the offense though." Lucifer wiggles around and sets his nearly done paperwork on the coffee table. "Like, don't kill them if they're being controlled or something, but if they're trying to kill us of their own free will, go for it."
"Reasonable." Alastor puts a book mark in his book and sets it next to the paperwork. "I did say your power was seductive. I would love to be your Executioner."
"So it's a deal?" Lucifer teasingly asks, sliding over and straddling Alastor's lap. "Want to seal it with a kiss, Bambi?"
"This is why Tempter is one of your titles." Alastor says, as his hands tangle themselves in Lucifer's hair. "How can I refuse such an offer?"
Lucifer keeps an even tighter hold on his magic than last the deal, sending the smallest trickle he's able to give when their lips press together. It still makes Alastor gasp and tremble as it hooks into his soul. This method of sealing a deal is one of the funnest he's got to do over the years, but doesn't get to do it often for obvious reasons.
Once the deal is set and magic stops making his lips tickle, he moves to pull back and check on Alastor, only for Alastor to hold his head where it is and deepening the kiss. Lucifer can't help the little happy noise he makes. He wasn't expecting this reaction with how dazed Alastor had been with the other deal, but he WAS even more careful with the magic flow this time. Apparently that little difference, and probably the method paired with the relationship status change, has a very energetic Alastor pretty much eating his face without going full cannibal.. Nevermind! Alastor just, likely accidentally, broke the skin on Lucifer's lip and is now very enthusiastically licking the blood away for the few seconds the tiny cut is open, kind of reminding Lucifer of an animal licking a wound to clean it, and making Lucifer breathlessly giggle.
The pin prick of temporary pain barely registers under the flood of oxytocin and dopamine, and paired with oxygen deprivation makes Lucifer feel very floaty. He can't even remember the last time he felt like this, but he can't get enough. He's half sure his brain is melting out his ears as he sinks into Alastor's domineering licks and kisses.
Lucifer wasn't made to be extremely dominating in personal relationships. Sure, he can bluff and bluster a domineering persona, and he's not exactly "submissive" in most of his platonic relationships, but he doesn't like being the one in complete control. One of the few things he liked with Lilith is she told him what to do or what she wanted. She definitely took it too far and stopped caring about his emotional well-being, but he liked not needing to be in control.
His original purpose had nothing to do with anything he is or does now. He had been a follower of his Father. Made to bring hope, happiness, music, and light to everyone. Now he's King of a throne he didn't ask for, and has failed at every turn to share his gifts, but sometimes he gets a taste of what he lost in intimate settings. Worshiping and being worshipped are ingrained things for him. His own little taste of heaven.
"You taste delicious." Is the first thing Alastor says when he finally pulls away, "Absolutely divine."
Lucifer breaks into more giggles, pulling Alastor into another, much quicker kiss, before affectionately saying, "Freak."
"You already knew that, mon trésor." Alastor leers suggestively, which just makes Lucifer laugh.
"True-"
"Dad!? Alastor!? What Deal Did You Make This Time!?" Charlie demands while banging on the door. He can vaguely hear her girlfriend muttering something, but the situation just makes Lucifer laugh again.
"May have forgot that we'd shake Hell and summon the inquisition?" Lucifer admits, climbing out of Alastor's lap.
"I still fail to see how it's actually any of their business." Alastor huffs, but gets up and follows Lucifer to the door.
"They're just worried about us. I think it's sweet." Lucifer chuckles, running his hands through his hair to hopefully fix anything their make out session messed up and not make it too obvious what they were doing. More because he doesn't want to "traumatize" Charlie and Maggi(?) than because of being ashamed or anything.
"Dad??" Charlie knocks on the door again, and squeaks and hops back when an amused Lucifer opens the door. "Dad? What did you guys-?"
Lucifer isn't sure what she noticed when she looks at them, but Lucifer's attempt to not be obvious obviously failed.
"Did we interrupt something?" Vanuagi...That's not right. Maggi was closer. WAIT! VAGGI!! NAILED IT! VAGGI rhetorically asks, while blushing slightly.
"Don't worry about it, girls." Lucifer chuckles. Charlie seems to be recalibrating, somewhere between happy and horrified. Guess she hadn't thought about what Lucifer being in a relationship would mean? Not that their likely conclusions are completely accurate, but that's none of their business. Lucifer and Alastor are adults.
"Am I going to have a younger sibling?" Lucifer nearly falls over from laughing a little too hard at the question. Charlie looks a bit embarrassed while VAGGI and Alastor look confused and amused.
"No! No! Charlie!" Lucifer takes a deep breath to try to calm his laughter. "It's not THAT easy to get me pregnant. I have to do a whole thing, I'll give you my notes on it if you and Vaggi want kids, but it'd have to be intentional and WE have not had that talk."
"You can get pregnant?" Alastor asks.
"Yeah, but Sinners can't reproduce like that in Hell. Sex wasn't even involved in making Charlie." Lucifer explains, still giggling. "We're waaay to early into this for that kind of commitment. But maybe one day if you want."
"Maybe one day." Alastor echoes, looking a bit starry-eyed. Family seems to be a BIG thing with the guy, so it's unsurprising the possibility of children later on being a huge deal to him.. And Lucifer wouldn't mind having more kids. He just hopes Charlie won't feel neglected or jealous when that happens, because Lucifer isn't going to let Alastor (if the relationship lasts that long) or anyone else take any future kids away like Lilith had Charlie.
"As fascinating as this is," Vaggi is blushing pretty hard, but trying to act like she isn't. "I'd like us to get back on the topic of what deal did you two make this time?"
"Ah." Lucifer swallows the rest of his giggles, but can't keep the smile off his face. "We made a deal involving sharing my magic, either of us can end it at any time, but it'll give him a boost in power and keep him from being mind controlled and such."
"You gave the murderous cannibal more power?" Vaggi asks in disbelief.
"Yeah?" Lucifer doesn't really see the problem. Power is the only real perk of being in a relationship with him. Especially if he puts sex and breeding up on a shelf.
"You understand why I have concerns?" Vaggi pleads.
"Sure, but I'm not worried about it." Lucifer grabs Alastor's hand. "Even if I hadn't added clauses about harming us, the Sins, or your friends, I trust him to only kill people I'd approve of anyways."
"He shouldn't be killing anyone!" Vaggi protests. Charlie pulls her into a soothing hug to calm her down.
"That's unreasonable." Lucifer waves off. He can feel Alastor staring at him.
"Unreasonable???" Vaggi is pissed.
"Vaggi! Calm down!" Charlie keeps her from lunging at him.
"You know nothing about how punishments work down here, do you?" Lucifer's question makes both of the girls freeze. Which makes Lucifer suspicious that Lilith never told Charlie about this topic, at least not in detail... which honestly explains a lot about some of Charlie's approaches to things. "Anyone who partook in cannibalism in life, for ANY reason, gain the Cannibal's Curse down here. Bambi literally needs to eat other Sinners or suffers the consequences. I'm not sure on the exact frequency, but I'm not banning someone from a necessity because it doesn't give you moral fuzzies. I'll just trust him to eat unredeemable assholes and troublemakers."
"And I already said I wouldn't kill your mother." Alastor adds, maliciousness seeps into his voice. "Unless she attacks one of the "protected" parties, then all is fair."
"I guess that's fair." Charlie mutters, "I want to say she wouldn't, but she tried to use her Voice on me earlier, so now I'm not so sure."
"Fine. Fine!" Vaggi groans, before giving the universal "I got my eye on you" motion, "But it better be actually irredeemable assholes."
"I'm sure you'll approve of my usual... victims." Lucifer has to hold in a snicker at how evil he sounds, but he's actually such a big softy.
"Why do I even try?" Vaggi sighs.
"I ask that every time you try to "fix" me, too!" Alastor cheerfully informs her, just to be an asshole. Lucifer can't help laughing, and getting a glare from the other angel.
"Okay!" Lucifer gently presses Alastor back into his room, "Now you know what happened! And know no siblings are actively being made! But I really should finish my paperwork, maybe we should all eat dinner together? You can tell me about the newest gossip around the Hotel and stuff!"
"OH! Uh! Okay, Dad!" Charlie looks embarrassed and delighted.
"See you later, girls!"
"Byeee!" Charlie says as Lucifer shuts and locks the door.
"..I just realized.. did he get my name right?" Vaggi's muffled voice asks Charlie. There's a brief pause before Charlie breaks into cheers, but he doesn't quite make it out because Alastor suddenly grabs his attention. Literally, by grabbed Lucifer's shoulders and intensely making eye contact.
"I think I'm going to need more of an explanation on how we can have children and how you birthed Charlie."
"Ah." Lucifer blushes. "I'm... By human definition, I'm intersex? All Seraphim and Archangel are, they just tend to present one way or the other for human sensibilities... But, uh, Lilith REALLY wanted to be a mom, but Sinners can't get pregnant... I knew theoretically I could carry a child, even if Sinners wouldn't be able to get me pregnant. So I did a bunch of research into how to magically inseminate myself with her essence. I could repeat the process later down the road if you want to have children with me... but only if I know for sure we're going to work out in the long run. I.. I want to raise my next child."
Lucifer looks down and rests a hand on his abdomen.
"I hate that she took Charlie away. I don't want the next time to be anything like what happened with Charlie." Just think about what happened directly after Charlie's birth, and Lilith completely taking Charlie away, makes Lucifer want to break down sobbing again. "I can't do that again. I NEED to know you'll stay and won't hurt me or the baby if I go through with it again."
"Hey, hey," Alastor lets go of his shoulder and gently lifts his face, "that's completely understandable. I would be thrilled to have kids EVENTUALLY, but I don't think we're anywhere near that stage. And I wouldn't ask you to do something like that if you're not completely ready for it."
Damn. Lucifer knew serial killers could be charming, but this motherfucker is too perfect.
"If we have a child together, we WILL be raising them together, mon doux." Alastor gives him a quick little peck, before pulling back. "If you finish your paperwork quickly, you might have enough to show me one of your silly little duck musicals."
Lucifer is grateful for the out. "You know exact how to motivate a guy!"
They both chuckle a little as they go back to the couch, cuddling up like they had been before Lucifer got distracted by the idea of calling Alastor "My Executioner" in public. Lucifer is determined to get Alastor to watch The Sound of Music by his favourite cast of ducks!