Chapter 2: Divine Glitches, Dungeon Dangers, and Breakfast Diplomacy
The first rule of surviving a broken isekai system? Never trust a quest that involves poultry and dark caves.
The second rule? Always check your egg supply.
I had broken both rules before noon.
---
Morning in Nestwood
Nestwood greeted me with chaos.
Children ran past my window screaming. Someone yelled about pants being stolen. A goat was standing on the inn's roof. Again.
I sat up in bed, rubbed my eyes, and summoned my glitched system screen.
> "Morning, sunshine," Lyria yawned. "Ready for another day of divine accidents and scrambled ambitions?"
"Only if I get coffee first."
> "No such thing here. But I can offer you a half-rotten turnip and another quest from the Adventurer's Guild."
"...Deal."
---
The Quest Board
The guild was lively. Adventurers haggled over loot, argued about strategy, and threw darts at a drawing of a bandit king with a goat for a head.
Breda, the muscle-bound receptionist, raised an eyebrow as I approached.
"Back for more, Egg Mage?"
"I prefer Breakfast Battlemage, thank you."
She snorted and handed me a scroll. "Goblin nest. East Ravine. Low-tier, but they're bold lately. Took someone's trousers."
"Vicious beasts."
"Try not to die. And maybe wear trousers that don't scream 'target me.'"
> "Don't forget, Kai," Lyria chimed. "There's something strange in that ravine. I'm picking up corrupted divine residue."
I blinked. "Wait, really? You didn't mention that before."
> "I was busy watching Captain Cluckles chase a squirrel. Priorities."
---
An Unexpected Ally
Just as I turned to leave, someone grabbed my shoulder.
"Going alone?"
A voice like silk dipped in steel. I turned and saw her.
Black hair tied in a loose braid. Purple eyes that sparkled with mystery. A lean figure clad in dark leathers. Twin daggers at her hips.
"Name's Yui," she said. "Rogue, tracker, scout… and apparently your new partner."
"I didn't—"
"You look like a guy who could use backup. Or hygiene tips. Or both."
> "Oh, she's perfect," Lyria whispered. "She's going to kiss you or kill you. I can't wait to find out which."
"Fine. But no mocking my weapons."
Yui raised an eyebrow. "The eggs?"
"They're powerful."
"They're breakfast."
---
Into the Ravine
The East Ravine was a narrow, jagged canyon. Shadows clung to the rocks like spiderwebs.
Yui crouched beside me at the entrance.
"Ten to fifteen goblins. At least one hobgoblin. Smells worse than the Nestwood outhouse in summer."
"Ready your nose and your blades."
> "And prepare your eggs," Lyria added. "Your Egg Bomb skill is ready. Try not to blow yourself up."
I conjured a glowing egg. It pulsed with unstable energy.
"…This is safe, right?"
> "Not even slightly."
---
The Fight Begins
Goblins swarmed from the shadows. Shrieking. Foaming. Some carried rusted blades. One had a frying pan.
Yui dashed ahead. Daggers flashed. One goblin fell before it saw her.
I hurled the first Egg Bomb.
BOOM!
Yolk and shell exploded across three goblins. One gagged. One fell over. One slipped and took down two more.
> "Egg-cellent!" Lyria cackled.
"Don't start."
"TOO LATE!"
The battle turned chaotic.
More goblins. A shrieking shaman threw green fire. I threw a rotten duck egg.
CRACK!
The smell alone knocked the goblin out.
Yui fought like a shadow. Efficient. Deadly. Beautiful.
"Behind you!" I yelled.
She rolled, stabbed, and tossed a knife to me.
I caught it. It immediately glowed.
> "New item bound: Dagger of Eggquisition."
"…I hate this system."
> "No refunds."
---
The Hobgoblin
It emerged from the depths of the cave.
Huge. Gray-skinned. Covered in bone armor and warts. Two tusks. A massive cleaver. And… was that a chicken feather necklace?
> "It's wearing the bones of your people!" Lyria gasped.
Captain Cluckles clucked in outrage from my pack.
"Let's fry this beast," I growled.
Yui nodded. "Together."
I charged an Egg Bomb.
Yui leaped onto its back, daggers slashing.
The hobgoblin roared and swung. I ducked, rolled, and hurled the bomb.
BOOM!
Feathers, shell, and raw magic flew.
Yui landed beside me. Bleeding. Grinning.
"You're insane."
"You joined me."
"...Fair."
The hobgoblin stumbled.
I summoned one last skill.
[Skill: Divine Eggdrop Lv. 1 – Unlocked]
A glowing egg the size of a watermelon fell from the sky and cracked over the hobgoblin's head.
He froze. Shuddered. And fell.
Victory.
---
Aftermath
We sat in silence by the ravine's mouth.
Yui cleaned her daggers.
I tried to wipe egg off my boots.
"You're a lunatic," she said.
"I get that a lot."
She paused. "But… you're different."
> "Oooh. She likes you," Lyria sang.
"Shut up," I muttered.
Yui stood. "Next quest, I'm coming too."
"Why?"
"Because no one believes me when I say I fought goblins beside a guy who weaponized breakfast. I need witnesses."
I grinned. "Welcome to Team Scrambled."
She groaned but didn't walk away.
---
That Night
Back at the inn, I sat by the window. The system shimmered in front of me.
> "That divine residue I mentioned?" Lyria said. "It was real. That hobgoblin was touched by something powerful. Something wrong."
"Corrupted?"
> "Worse. Twisted by forgotten code. Forbidden subroutines. You're not the only glitch in this world."
I leaned back, hands behind my head.
"So, what's next?"
> "We hunt divine anomalies. We find shrines. And maybe—just maybe—we fix this world."
I glanced at Yui sleeping in the other bed, one dagger still in hand.
And Captain Cluckles perched on the windowsill, glowing faintly.
I had allies.
I had purpose.
And I had eggs.
Let the world break.
I'd break it back.
---
[End of Chapter 2: Divine Glitches, Dungeon Dangers, and Breakfast Diplomacy]