Norahn's long-held resignation, his quiet acceptance of his fate, shattered Sobi's heart. Sensing the shift in her demeanor, the sudden coldness that replaced her warmth, Norahn lowered his gaze.
"If you won't punish Cheongro," Sobi asked, "what will you do? How will you protect Siu? Will you send her away? Or will you... will you follow the ritual, take her as your own, and father a child?"
The answer that came was one Sobi couldn't bear to hear.
"That might be the only way to keep her safe, for now," Norahn replied.
Sobi's mind reeled, but Norahn continued. "Even if we send her away, she won't be able to escape the island in this situation. The elders will pursue her relentlessly, even beyond Birahng. They'll find her and punish her for running away. It's better for her to fulfill her duty, to face her fate with a prepared heart."
Sobi shook her head, unable to comprehend his words. "Siu is only sixteen," she argued. "How can you ask her to endure such suffering?"
"Everyone has their share of suffering," Norahn replied dryly. "Life doesn't discriminate. There's no escape. That is Sahngjon's order."
His words sounded like madness to Sobi. She felt her own sanity slipping away and took a deep breath, trying to calm the turmoil within her.
"You said that if my life doesn't waver, I can stand firm anywhere," she said.
Norahn looked at her.
"Then I will stand firm where my life doesn't waver," Sobi declared.
"What do you mean?"
Instead of answering, Sobi removed her white robes, folding them neatly. She placed them on the floor, along with the jade pendant and the Third Emissary's token Norahn had given her. Her meaning was clear, but Norahn refused to let her go.
"Look at my eyes," he pleaded desperately. "This light cost my mother her life, a life of unimaginable suffering. I never wanted this. Do you think I chose this life? Do you think I never dreamt of a life where I could grieve, rejoice, hate... and love freely?"
Sobi remained silent.
"I have to endure," Norahn continued, his voice breaking. "Can you not endure with me?"
"Why did you choose me?" Sobi asked. "Why did you make me the Third Emissary?"
"I believed in your righteousness."
Sobi shook her head. "Don't lie to yourself. I was too focused on you to see the Ministry's flaws. And you, blinded by your faith in me, ignored them as well. You used me as a shield, a distraction."
"That's not true. I..." Norahn struggled to find the right words, then offered a hollow excuse. "I cared for you."
"I trusted you," Sobi said firmly, cutting him off.
"Sobi, please don't leave," Norahn begged.
Sobi bowed one last time. Norahn reached for her, his thin fingers grasping at her sleeve.
"Don't go," he whispered.
Sobi turned and left without a word.
As she walked back towards the Myeonghyeon residence, she remembered the day she had followed Norahn. Her footsteps were just as uncertain then, her destination unknown. Norahn had walked ahead, never looking back, as she stumbled after him, her clothes, already tattered, catching on the branches and thorns. He had finally stopped at the entrance to Wicheong Palace and turned to face her.
"Why are you following me?" he had asked.
"I want to be cleansed..." Sobi had begun, then corrected herself. "I want a new life."
"You are already pure," Norahn had said.
Even now, after leaving him, Sobi remembered the gentle smile on his face, the warmth in his eyes. As the memories resurfaced, the carefully constructed walls around her heart crumbled. She remembered the sacrifices she had made, the pain she had endured, all to uphold the righteousness Norahn had seen in her. Resentment towards him warred with self-blame for her naive faith. Then, a wave of longing surged within her, a desperate urge to return to him, to support him in his despair. She recoiled, disgusted by her own weakness. Sobi stumbled through the remnants of her shattered world, lost and alone.
──────────
Ryang, accompanied by Joon and Ga'ahn, inspected the city walls at dawn. The coastline visible from the north gate was treacherous, with black reefs lurking beneath the shallow waters, making a nighttime landing difficult. Unlike Nahmgyo, the distance a ship could approach varied greatly with the tides. At low tide, the landing site would be a muddy expanse, difficult to traverse even on foot. Joon was confident that if he could provide adequate cover for Yeong, they could repel even a large enemy force. Ga'ahn led them along the walls, explaining the placement of the cannons sent from Sung and those already in Hyangdo. The sight of the sturdy walls, combined with Ga'ahn's detailed explanations, brought a glimmer of hope to Ryang's troubled heart.
Before heading to the government office to report his findings to Seong, Ryang stopped by his residence. As he entered, U'nso, who was in the courtyard, greeted him with a startled bow. Sensing something amiss, Ryang went to Seon's chambers. Seon greeted him with a forced smile.
"You're early," she remarked.
Ryang's gaze fell upon Siu, who sat nervously in a corner. He recognized her immediately, having often seen her carrying documents in Wicheong Palace.
"Why is this Emissary in our house?" he demanded.
Seon, rubbing her forehead, explained the situation. There wasn't much to tell, as Sobi had simply left Siu with her and disappeared. But even this brief account was enough to reveal the gravity of the situation. Siu, more afraid of Ryang than Seon, shrank back into the corner, her head bowed.
"What's your name?" Ryang asked.
Siu flinched at the simple question, her eyes filled with fear. Ryang felt a pang of guilt, though he had done nothing wrong. When Siu remained silent, Seon answered for her.
"Her name is Siu."
"Give her something to eat," Ryang instructed, then turned and left.
"Do you think I would starve a child?" Seon muttered under her breath as he left.
Sobi, her face pale and drawn, returned just as Ryang was leaving. Ryang, seeing her exhausted state and empty arms, changed his mind about going to the government office and returned to his chambers. Sobi followed him. He sat at his desk, his gaze fixed on her. Sobi's eyes were red-rimmed and hollow, but Ryang's voice was sharp with accusation.
"You promised to restrain the Ministry," he said.
"High Councilor," Sobi began, shame filling her voice. She couldn't undo her actions from the night before. She recounted the events she had relayed to Norahn, each word a heavy weight on her heart. Ryang listened impassively, his expression unchanging.
"Please," Sobi pleaded, "rectify this injustice. I beg you."
"To be honest," Ryang said, "I'm tired of dealing with the Ministry's messes."
Sobi's heart sank.
"Do you think this is the only problem they've caused?" Ryang continued. "Ever since you joined Wicheong, whenever there's been trouble, the High Emissary, the elders, the Second Emissary, the previous Third Emissary... they've all been quick to conceal it, blaming it on the Ministry. They ruined our dynasty, and yet you expect me to believe they can change? I've given up on them. Detaining Norahn was already a risk. I don't want to be further entangled in their affairs."
"You severed the Second Emissary's hand," Sobi argued. "Why are you saying this now?"
"That..." Ryang hesitated, then admitted, "That was an undeniable mistake. I wasn't myself."
"Then lose yourself again."
"What?"
Sobi began to accuse Ryang. "Why aren't you filled with righteous anger like you were before?" she demanded. "Cheongro merely touched the princess's collar. A princess, our enemy, is so precious that anyone can't even lay a finger on her. But Siu, a lowly orphan, is violated, and you feel nothing?"
"Third Emissary," Ryang warned.
Sobi continued, her voice rising with each word. "You've seen countless children like Siu in Yeonyahng. Perhaps this is nothing to you, but it is not a trivial matter. How can you order soldiers to defend Sahngjon's light, risking their lives, when you refuse to act against an Emissary who violated another? You should be ashamed of your indifference."
"If you're so desperate that you dare speak to me this way," Ryang retorted, "you should be persuading your superiors, not wasting your breath on me."
Sobi bit her lip, her gaze falling to the floor.
"So you've already tried," Ryang continued. "And the answer wasn't satisfactory?"
Sobi remained silent. Despite his lingering resentment towards Norahn, Ryang couldn't bring himself to mock his hypocrisy, not when Sobi had been forced to bear the consequences. He thought of the children in Yeonyahng, children with faces similar to Siu's, toiling under his family's roof. He couldn't remember when he had become numb to their suffering. Or perhaps he hadn't become numb, but had simply chosen to look away. They were still there, in Nahmgyo, under Cheongro's watch. And Hwan's blade was now aimed at Nahmgyo.
"Under normal circumstances, I might have considered it," Ryang said. "But we're preparing to defend this city with a vastly outnumbered force. And you, for the sake of one Novice Emissary, abandoned Nahmgyo, a city of tens of thousands, and came here alone."
Sobi flinched, then retorted, "What is the point of defending four cities if you can't even protect a single child?"
"There are those who suffer unjustly in every city, in Birahng, in Sunyahng," Ryang countered. "The world is filled with those who cannot be protected, not by walls, not even by Sahngjon. I assure you, if what you say is true, then this world, Sahngjon, has no meaning."
"The High Emissary said something similar," Sobi said quietly. "That enduring suffering is Sahngjon's order."
Ryang's eyes narrowed. "Why did you come to me?" he asked.
"You said trust is mutual."
Ryang's gaze was cold, and Sobi's voice wavered with desperation. "Has the trust between us already shattered?"
"Your answer is wrong, and so is your question."
"High Councilor."
"In this case," Ryang said, "you appeal not to trust, but to justice."
Sobi's clenched fists trembled.
"I will help Siu," Ryang declared.
Relief flooded Sobi's eyes, a sharp warmth stinging them. But remembering Ryang's enduring coldness since her return to Birahng, she sought confirmation once more.
"What are your conditions?" she asked.
"Justice knows no conditions," Ryang replied.