"Secretary General, what should we do?"
"Lynette, do we really need to use formal titles in private?" Richard studied his assistant secretary.
His secretary was, as always, a sight to behold—just looking at her lifted his spirits.
Her slender legs were sheathed in sheer black stockings, disappearing beneath a form-fitting black pencil skirt, the tantalizing darkness stirring an instinctive urge to explore.
Her upper half was clad in a black blazer over a white blouse, the modest yet alluring curves of her chest tracing an elegant silhouette. Her long, pale neck bore faintly visible veins, drawing the eye along their delicate paths.
Her skin was flawless as snow, her eyes clear as a tranquil spring. Her demeanor carried an air of detachment uncommon for her age—quiet, composed, and enigmatic, like a spirit cat whose true thoughts were impossible to discern.
"Is this workplace harassment?" Lynette's cat ears twitched as she noticed Richard's gaze, her tone flat.
Richard choked on his tea. "Cough—that's a bit extreme, isn't it? Fine, I'll stop looking."
"I'm not sure why Lady Furina is so fixated on that tabloid, but since our superior has given the order, it's our duty as subordinates to handle it."
Richard quickly made a decision. "First, let's investigate the newspaper's background. Any findings yet?"
Lynette retrieved a document from the files she was holding and handed it to Richard. "According to the archives, the newspaper itself has no major issues. However, the Northland Bank uncovered some… interesting connections."
"Liyue, Sumeru, the Fatui, Inazuma… damn, how many factions are they involved with? Are they collecting stamps?" Richard had expected the newspaper to be shady, but not this ambitious.
How many sides were they playing at once?
In a way, this made things easier.
Originally, Richard had planned to fabricate charges against the newspaper, but now it was unnecessary. Colluding with foreign powers, manipulating public opinion to slander an Archon—any one of these charges was enough to land the publisher in Meropide for life.
He doubted the publisher ever imagined a mere government clerk could access the Northland Bank's internal records.
"First, notify the Maison Gardiennage to assist in shutting down the newspaper—say it's on the Hydro Archon's orders. Then, hold a press conference condemning this kind of malicious journalism in the name of the Minister of Administration."
"Oh, and make sure the journalists we invite are from 'friendly' outlets. We need to keep everything under control."
"Let's see what our Hydro Archon is really made of."
"Isn't this approach a bit… obvious?" Lynette saw through the scheme.
"Which is why I'll report the plan first. If things go south, I'll have a 'reasonable' explanation ready." Richard waved the bank records.
'If Furina caught on, he'd present these suspicious transactions as justification.'
'But if she didn't… well, things would get interesting.'
Not just in terms of public backlash, Richard would also have to reassess this Archon.
After observing her these past few days, he was starting to suspect she wasn't as formidable as he'd assumed.
'Could she actually be… incompetent?'
'Uncertain. Needed further observation.'
"Not a bad plan. Why didn't we do this sooner? People might think the Court of Fontaine can't even handle a measly tabloid!" Furina nodded approvingly after hearing Richard's proposal.
Richard's eyes flickered. Hesitating, he asked, "You… approve? There's also the press conference afterward—you'll need to speak."
"Mhm, approved. And I'll attend the press conference too." Furina didn't pick up on Richard's implications, signing the shutdown order without a second thought.
As for the press conference, she saw it as a victory speech—a stage to showcase herself to Fontaine's citizens.
In other words, a chance to show off.
With this test, Richard had already pieced together about 70-80% of Furina's psyche.
He had to admit, with some disappointment, that he might have overestimated this Archon.
It was like joining a high-level match, expecting a formidable opponent, only to realize they were boosted.
The revelation felt like stumbling upon 100 Mora on the street—unexpected, but not unwelcome.
Looks like future plans would need some adjustments.
A Few Days Later
With the combined efforts of the Maison Gardiennage and the Court of Fontaine, the newspaper was swiftly shut down, and all circulated copies were recalled.
That morning, the press conference began as scheduled.
The Court's grand hall was packed with Fontaine's most prominent media outlets, though none could fathom the sudden summons.
"Honored guests, journalists, ladies, and gentlemen—good afternoon! I, Focalors, the Hydro Archon and newly appointed Minister of Administration, thank you all for coming!" Furina's voice was vibrant, brimming with infectious energy.
Every attendee was captivated by her theatrical presence. She was a natural orator, her every word stirring the crowd's emotions.
Richard noted this too, but he doubted she could salvage the situation.
A wrong first step doomed the rest—the more impressive her performance, the more glaring her missteps would become.
As Furina's impassioned speech continued, the audience gradually sensed something amiss. From start to finish, the Hydro Archon had only spoken about the unethical tabloid. When would she address the real issue?
"Lady Furina, may I ask what today's main topic is?" A reporter finally spoke up.
"Topic? My dear reporter, everything I've said is today's topic."
The hall buzzed with murmurs. The journalists exchanged glances. So the Hydro Archon had orchestrated this grand spectacle… just to announce she'd shut down some no-name tabloid?
"Lady Furina, does this mean the newspaper's claims were true? Are you dissatisfied with Inazuma and using this as a warning to the Shogunate?" Another reporter pressed. They were here for headlines, not self-aggrandizement.
"Of course not! Precisely because the article was full of lies about me, I ordered the newspaper shut down!" Furina clenched her fists indignantly.
The reporters scribbled in unison: {Hydro Archon shuts down newspaper over personal vendetta.}
"Lady Furina, isn't shutting down an entire newspaper over one article excessively harsh?"
"Harsh? I disagree. Fontaine is a nation of laws, everyone must be held accountable for their words!"
More furious note-taking: {Hydro Archon takes full responsibility for incident!}
"Did your actions receive approval from the Chief Justice, Neuvillette?"
Technically, Neuvillette was Fontaine's de facto leader, overseeing both foreign and administrative affairs.
"Neuvillette? What does he have to do with this? Why would I need his permission? I am the Hydro Archon!" Furina planted her hands on her hips.
Pens flew across paper: {Hydro Archon asserts absolute authority, seeks to overturn Fontaine's political structure!}
Now Furina sensed something was wrong. The crowd wasn't applauding her decisive action—instead, they saw it as undemocratic and unreasonable.
'Why? It was the newspaper's fault!' Furina's eyes clouded with confusion. 'Were they allowed to slander her, but she couldn't retaliate?'
As the questions grew sharper, Furina's face paled. Her thoughts grew muddled, her responses full of holes.
The reporters wrote furiously, exhilarated, if only they had four hands! There was too much gold to record!
The Hydro Archon really didn't hold back!
Praise the Hydro Archon!
As Furina stood floundering on stage, Richard finally stepped in to conclude the conference.
After that spectacle, Richard was certain 'This Archon wasn't playing dumb. She genuinely was this clueless.'
'Did she have some competence? Sure. But not enough.' Richard decided future public addresses should be Furina's sole responsibility. She wasn't cut out for administration—Fontaine's diplomatic corps would suit her better.
Specifically, public proclamation readings. She'd excel at that.
Beyond that, Furina was no different from a fresh-faced bureaucrat, her eyes brimming with that signature clear-eyed stupidity.
Furina's Office – A Heavy Silence
"Did… did I do something wrong?" Furina asked her secretary timidly.
Richard offered consolation. "It could've been worse. At least you didn't actually declare war on Inazuma. Oh, and you might've broken a record."
"What record?"
"Shortest tenure as a minister."
Furina froze as if struck by lightning. "I-It's not that bad, is it?"
Richard shattered her delusions mercilessly.
"It is that bad. Shutting down a newspaper without justification, mobilizing excessive resources, by strict definition, that's gross misuse of public funds." He paused. "It's illegal."
Furina turned to stone, like a faded abstract painting.
She thought she'd just lose her job, but now she might go to jail?!
"W-What do I do?! I don't want to go to prison! Or Meropide!" Her voice trembled on the verge of tears, her hands clutching Richard's sleeves.
Rumor had it Meropide had terrible food, worse beds, and forced labor—no desserts, no tea! She'd never sleep well there!
"Lady Furina, calm down first. There's still room to maneuver." Richard patted her hands reassuringly.
"Really?!" Her eyes widened like a drowning woman grasping at straws. "There's really a way?!"
"Of course. But you'll need to follow my instructions. Otherwise, it'll backfire like today." He smiled.
Richard's goal was never to oust Furina; that didn't benefit him. What he wanted was to tame the Hydro Archon.
"I'll listen! I'll do whatever you say!" Furina nodded frantically.
Like a scared kitten, she was utterly pliant.
"In that case… let's draft a resignation letter first. Just in case."
"But you said there's still hope! Why would I need to resi—Fine, fine, I'll write it…" Her voice dwindled as she slumped at her desk, sniffling.
Like a dejected schoolgirl, she poked her pen listlessly at the paper.
The thought of losing her ministerial position so soon brought a mist to her eyes—her pitiful, tearful expression was almost too much to bear.
Click.
Furina looked up to find Richard holding a camera, having just captured her moment of weakness.
"What are you doing?!"
"Taking photos. Humans are visual creatures, they're inexplicably forgiving toward beautiful things. This photo might soften public criticism of your… mishap."
Furina immediately realized that if this photo leaked, her divine image as the wise, mighty Hydro Archon would be ruined. Instinct screamed at her to stop Richard.
But if she didn't… what if she did end up in prison? A jailed Archon had no dignity left anyway.
Sniffling, she muttered, "T-Take a few more, then."
"No need. One's enough for my collection."
"Collection?!" Furina zeroed in on the keyword.
"Mhm. Did you think I'd actually release this? That'd make things worse. Imagine the headlines: {Can a Crybaby Archon Handle the Duties of a Minister?}" Richard mimicked a reporter's tone.
"Who's a crybaby?!" A snot bubble popped out mid-protest, but before she could continue, Richard wiped her nose with a tissue.
Whether due to Furina's delicate skin or Richard's rough handling, her nose turned red.
"Relax, Lady Furina. I share some blame here, too—I'll clean up this mess. Consider this photo my reward."
Furina sniffled, then muttered, "Fine. But… don't use my photo for anything weird, okay?"
"Weird like what?" Richard's smile didn't waver as he watched for her reaction.
"Like… selling it to reporters or something…"
If that happened, the Hydro Archon's dignity would be gone!
"Don't worry, Lady Furina. Leave the rest to me."