July 8, 2022
Writing this doesn't matter to me. This is not for any purpose, just a time pass. Only for some motivation and confidence.
Writing our thoughts can ease us in some way. I don't know, but I think they could.
To tell you the truth, I never tried that.
Not till now.
I'm writing what I can't say. And… I clearly know that I have to keep you out of others' sight from now on.
Before even grabbing a pen, I literally had a hundred—no, a thousand thoughts rushing inside my mind, asking myself if it was a good idea.
And honestly, I realized that I'm being reluctant.
Leave it.
Let me introduce myself. Actually, not a big personality or something.
An average girl left only with a will—a will, yes, that's what I'll say.
Whenever I see my family, it reminds me of a stirring desire bore inside my chest.
To become a bridge to broken hearts.
I know those words were hollow. They couldn't stand the burden of my duplicity.
To think I believe in resolution. Damn, it's pathetic.
Anyways, I am an ill-fated girl with a regrettable luck always standing by my side.
"A useless thing that came to Earth," as I overheard my father telling his friends.
Never mind him.
My name is Esmeray. My parents are from the West, so they named me according to their cultural background.
We now live in the continent of Laurae. It's ruled by 'King Forter Laurae', and thus also known as the 'Kingdom of Laurae'. But I've rarely seen "Kingdom" mentioned in historical parchments, so… I go with the word "Continent".
Many of us use the same term.
Well, if we're talking about history—it brings me to add another piece of information inside you.
'Kingdom of Enrose' located to the West, 'Kingdom of Farayl' to the South and lastly, the Kingdom of Laurea to the East—
Those three marks the total inhabited land there is. Well, despite the fact that the map in our library stretches all the way to the floors, I had summarized what it actually had inside it.
Guess what's the irony? The Kings don't have sound relations with each other. They're almost like masked companions with daggers held behind their fake smiles.
Our teacher even told us not to believe their legacies, as… some of them were truth, and many of them were pure lies.
Now, enough classes here. I'm getting to the main point.
I'm not sure if it's me or if it's some kind of coincidence but—
Fate isn't kind to me.
Especially when I'm outside the house.
I never disclosed this unusual phenomenon to anyone.
Not even to Basili. He would say that I'm playing with him.
But... I know he won't believe me and telling mom is like adding yet another weight to her weak shoulders.
I can't tell it anybody.
And now...
I make pathetic excuses for not going outside these four walls.
Even visiting Karley—my neighbor friend— give me creeps.
I...
I don't want to see him on fire.
October 19, 2024
Hi…
It's been years and I haven't written another word inside you.
I never expected the things turning like that.
Unluck tag. Yes, that darn unluck tag. It's all because of it.
Where... did I go wrong?
How did it even start?
Maybe...
Maybe because I sold someone's misery as a mere project?
May 21, 2028
Fragments of my past that formed my future.
I woke up at 7 a.m. Got up from my bed to get ready for my university.
My university was huge—scaling the garden in front of it.
There was a park that I often visited before my paranormal manifestation—The Unluck tag.
I solely began depending on my lucky charms, hoping it could work for me when I'm out.
I didn't know if those charms were scam—which I realized they were.
Anyways, I entered the park. Same long trees standing in rows—as if they were waving at each other.
The smell of the grass mixed with the fragrance of the blooming flowers.
It was all the same.
The thing my eyes were waiting for was the bench under the shade of a tall tree.
I remember it being the same day as the execution.
My father's execution.
I stopped calling him father though. He is Umar. A killer.
A criminal.
'This is to mention that the serial killer—Umar, who was arrested by one of the departments of Force, had been sentenced to death.
'Police say that they found him in a house, which was listed abandoned by the start of September. For some reason, the house was de-listed by the government.
'According to the latest report, the house would be destroyed soon and new buildings would be established.
'Umar, who is the reason behind the deaths of thousand innocents, had stayed there for about three years, and had finally been captured by the Forces.
'About 100 girls and 16 boys, nearly having ages of sixteen or below, were killed by his hands. It is also said that he has his own family, having two children of his own.
"Their names are Esmeray and Basili," as one of the reporters said.
'Yesterday was the day when the judge declared the date of his execution. Execution will be held tomorrow evening at 2 o'clock. The government will provide the right for the oppressed and will punish the tyrant at any cost. His family is to be called here to see Umar's execution and make some statement if they wanted to, as if it is….'
I have torn the newspaper section in pieces today—jotting exact lines inside you.
Never had I felt so pitiful, knowing that my name was disclosed to the world.
'I am a daughter of a killer.'
It was still bearable because I knew he was guilty. It was right.
His execution was just.
But…
When I saw our house ablaze the same day, it brutally pierced my heart.
And, the thing I said when I saw my mother burning in the depths, was—
"…Unluck tag."
Clap!
Robert finally snapped the diary shut—taking a heavy exhale.
"Unluck tag?" he asked his eagerness, pondering if what he read was true.
But he was more curious to know more about the girl named 'Esmeray'.
Why was Esmeray's diary hidden under D.A's bed? Does she relate to Esmeray somehow?
What's the Unluck tag Esmeray talked about? Does D.A know it too? Does she think Esmeray wrote the truth?
It would probably be the reason why she kept it hidden from our eyes.
But... why though?
Robert's mind was corrupted by many questions. Being his colleague for years, he knew what kind of person D.A was.
She was sincere, dedicated to her cause and moreover, a knowledgeable woman.
It was her unbelievable insights on history that made her one of the youngest female officers in the lower departments.
...
Robert's intellect clicked at swiping thoughts—a quick flashback passed before his eyes.
He remembered officer D.A bragging about her usual history facts, something about myt—
Wait!! History Facts?
Robert instantly sprang from his seat. "History..." His hands abruptly reached for the hidden diary—opening the page to where 'history' was mentioned.
He then scanned the paragraph thoroughly before flipping the moist pages to catch the word 'Continent'.
"Oh God..."
Robert knew that D.A was the only person who could bother sharing something like history annals.
And...he was sure of the fact that nobody calls the Kingdom 'Continent' except her.
"D.A came here to find someone, right?" Robert's eyes widened bit by bit when he finally started joining the dots—recalling all the past interactions with her to where he had met her first.
"She… She can't be Esmeray."