"If you give me something…" he whispered, leaning so close he could feel the wine-warmth radiating from the doctor's skin.
Jingting blinked, his eyes a bit glazed and his head tilted to the side. He looked like he was thinking really hard about it, his brow furrowed. Then, Jingting moved forward. Sheng's breath jerked, he even closed his eyes a bit. But instead of Jingting's lips, something heavy and oily hit his mouth.
"Eat," Jingting exclaimed, his voice so cheerful he sounded like a young child. He was holding the half-eaten mutton leg right against Sheng's mouth, grinning with a drunken triumph.
"You were staring at it for so long. I will give you my meat if you take me there." Sheng couldn't even be mad. All he was hearing was this carefree and not cold voice, as he usually couldn't hear it, so he took a bite and laughed.
Liu Sheng froze, his eyes snapping open. He looked at the greasy bone, then at the rosy-cheeked doctor who was swaying slightly in his seat, looking so proud of himself. The desire that had been boiling in Sheng's blood just… deflated, replaced by a mixture of shock and a very sudden urge to either laugh or cry. He took the meat with a sigh, his fingers brushing Jingting's greasy ones.
"You are… really something," Sheng muttered, looking at the dancing girls just to hide his red face.
The women around them giggled, and the Madam laughed behind her fan, but Jingting didn't seem to notice the double meaning he just uttered or the unspoken desires he extinguished in Liu Sheng. He suddenly stood up, nearly knocking over the wine jar.
"Let's go. I want to see the top," he said, pointing vaguely upward.
"The top?" Sheng asked, wiping his mouth with his sleeve, and then looking at him, confused. He thought he just wanted to see the tower itself, not to go up.
"The tower! The big one at the corner. I want to see what the birds see. Take me there."
Liu Sheng would never say no to him. Even if he was exhausted, even if his heart was still aching from the "mutton deflection," he just nodded. He threw a few more coins on the table and grabbed Jingting's arm to steady him. They walked out of the loud house and into the cool night air of Datong.
The walk to the corner watchtower was a struggle. Jingting's steps were zigzagging across the stone pavement, and he kept stopping to look at random things like a sleeping dog, a closed shutter, and the way the moon reflected in a puddle.
But finally, after Liu Sheng's hard work of keeping him on track, they reached the base of the massive wall. The soldiers on guard recognized the general immediately and bowed down to him, opening the small side door to the stairs.
The stairs were steep and narrow, made of cold stone. Jingting panted, stumbled, but Liu Sheng was always there, his hand firm on Jingting's waist, pulling him up when needed. And nodding to every soldier they passed on their way.
When they finally reached the top, the wind hit them so hard that Jingting stumbled back once again. It was freezing up there, high above the world. Jingting ran to the edge, leaning over the railings, looking around.
"Wow," Jingting breathed out, the wind tossing his clothes around and him almost too. While having his hand on the back of his collar, Liu Sheng leaned back into the tower walls and nodded at the soldier to come closer. He whispered something in his ear and then went back to Jingting.
Below them, Datong was a sea of tiny flickering lights. The main streets stretched like rivers, lightened up by gold lights, with the dark patches being the quiet homes of thousands of people. Beyond the walls, the canal, the real river saving the lives of the people inside, wrapping around the city, and further still, the dark, empty plains were where the real danger lay.
"It's so big. You keep it all safe…" Jingting whispered, his drunkenness fading a bit in the cold. Sheng stood beside him, looking out at the horizon.
"My father did it, my brother did it. We have to do it. To keep this peace, we have to be just like this wall," he said. It might sound proud, but somehow, there was a hint of sadness there. Jingting looked at him, his eyes wide.
"Would you sacrifice everything? Your life? Your happiness?" Sheng's gaze darkened. He was staring down. He had no idea why he had to do it, but it was his fate. To keep everyone safe. Seeing the soldier coming, he grabbed the spare coats and wrapped one around JIngting and the other around himself.
"Jingting. There is something I actually did not tell you. That new General… General Zhu. He arrived from the Capital with orders that I don't like. He wants movement. He wants a show of force." Jingting's eyebrows rose. Force? Movements? He knew what it meant but hoped it wasn't true.
"General Zhu? Is he the one your mother mentioned?" he asked carefully. He saw the disgust on Liu Sheng's face and couldn't think of why he was so disgusted.
"Yes. And I am ordered to go with him. To war. A real campaign." Sheng turned his face from him, his voice becoming desperate.
"Jingting… If I go, I don't know when I'll be back. Do you… Do you want to follow me to the army?" The silence that followed was longer than the stairs they had climbed. Jingting looked down at his hands, the silk of his sleeves fluttering.
"I can't," Jingting said softly, his voice almost lost in the wind.
"I'm a doctor of the mountains, Sheng. Not of the barracks. I have people waiting for me. Xuhua… She needs to go back, too. We've been out for too long. My father's ghost is probably screaming at me for being so reckless." He chuckled, feeling the irony of all of it.
Sheng felt like he had been stabbed. He had expected it, but hearing it made his chest feel heavy, painful even. He just nodded, a sad, slow movement of his head.
They stood there for a long time, not talking anymore. They just stared at the sky, which was full of stars. Eventually, the cold became too much. Jingting started shivering, his teeth chattering.
"Let's go back," Sheng said softly.
The walk back was quiet. When they reached the Liu mansion, the servants were already asleep. They made their way to the room, the heavy wood of the door clicking shut behind them. The kang bed was already warmed, the heat radiating through the blankets.
Jingting didn't even wait. He kicked off his shoes and practically crawled onto the bed, his body exhausted from the wine and the long walk. When Sheng climbed in beside him, intending to just lie on the edge as he usually did, he felt arms wrapping around him. He turned to the side.
Jingting tucked his head under Sheng's chin, his body seeking warmth. He was already half-asleep, his breathing deep and steady.
"Be safe. Let me stay like this just for one more night," Jingting mumbled into Sheng's chest. After a while, when he stopped being so surprised, he wrapped his arms around the doctor, holding him tight. If he could stop the sun from rising. He would have done it.