Hana looked at Shinji with a dissatisfied expression. He just wanted her to watch them meditating. How was this going to help her make her chakra glow? Maybe she had no talent for it, and this was Shinji's way of being nice. Fear started to creep up inside her. What if she could never do it? What if they just left her all alone?
"Okay, I'll just watch," Hana said in a soft tone.
"Also try to focus on your breathing, it might help," Shinji replied. He knew this was as good as telling her to do nothing, but he really didn't know how to help her. Until he figured it out, she would just have to observe.
Suddenly, Ren stood up with a grin on his face and looked toward Hana. "You can do it, Hana! I believe in you." He smirked. "Just watch how I'll leave your brother in the dust."
"How? You can't even make your body glow," Shinji interjected before they started meditating again.
.....
Hana's fingers curled into the fabric of her pants, her knuckles whitening as she watched Shinji and Ren move through their chakra exercises with growing ease. The soft glow of energy pulsed beneath Shinji's skin like distant fireflies, while Ren's flickering light, though erratic, at least existed. And then there was her. Nothing.
She had sat there for a while, eyes closed, breathing measured, straining for even the faintest spark, but her body remained stubborn.
"Just observe for now," Shinji had told her, as if that was enough. As if watching them succeed while she stagnated wasn't slowly tearing her apart.
A cold knot tightened in her stomach.
Was this his way of letting her down gently? A slow, quiet dismissal disguised as training? The thought slithered through her mind, unwanted but persistent. Maybe he had already realized what she feared most, that she was different than him and Ren. Broken, in some way. Everyone had chakra Shinji said once, but what if hers was locked away somewhere she couldn't reach? What if she never could?
The laughter between Shinji and Ren rang too loud in her ears. They were improving, moving forward, while she remained stuck.
How long until they decide I'm not worth the effort?
The fear was a living thing now, coiled around her ribs, squeezing tighter with every passing second. She had always been the quiet one, the one who observed, who calculated, but what good was that if she couldn't do anything? If she couldn't stand beside them when it mattered?
Her nails bit into her palms.
Would they still look at her the same when the gap between them grew too wide to ignore? Would Ren still grin at her like she was part of this, or would his smiles turn pitying? Would Shinji still meet her eyes with that unshakable determination, or would his gaze start to slide past her, already moving on to things, to people, who were like him and Ren?
The worst part was the silence.
She could have handled frustration, could have weathered impatience. But this? This careful, considerate waiting, like they were all just pretending she might still catch up, felt like a slow suffocation.
Say it, she wanted to scream. Tell me I'm holding you back.
But they wouldn't. Because they were kind. But is this all she could do? She looked around the training ground Shinji had made. And then she noticed the bamboo stick balanced on rocks and the stepping stones on the ground.
"Shinji, what are these for?" She asked while pointing towards it. She knew he probably had lost his concentration because of her but she wanted to do something so she didn't feel like a burden.
"They are for balance and stamina training" Shinji replied. He looked towards her and continued. "But we will get to these later we should first..." Shinji stopped his sentence and shouted Hana's name.
But Hana wasn't listening anymore. Her eyes traced the bamboo pole suspended between two rocks, the uneven stepping stones embedded in the dirt. A spark of understanding flickered in her chest.
Balance and Stamina.
She stood abruptly, startling both boys. Without a word, she walked to the bamboo beam and placed one foot on it. The wood wobbled dangerously beneath her weight.
"Hana..." Shinji began, but she held up a hand.
"I'm not just going to watch." Her voice was quiet but firm. "If I can't make my chakra glow yet, I'll master what I can do."
Ren opened his mouth, likely to make some joke, but the intensity in Hana's gaze silenced him. She took a slow breath, arms outstretched, and took her first unsteady step.
The bamboo tilted. Hana's arms windmilled wildly—
Thud.
She hit the dirt hard, biting back a gasp. Shinji was at her side in an instant, but she waved him off, already pushing herself up. "Again."
This time, she focused not just on her feet, but on the rhythm of her movements. The way Shinji had described chakra flow, steady, even. She imagined energy stabilizing her, even if she couldn't see it.
Her second attempt lasted three steps before she fell.
Her tenth attempt lasted five.
As the boys returned to their meditation, Hana kept working. Each fall taught her something: how to shift her weight, when to tense, when to relax. The sun climbed higher, sweat dripping into her eyes, but she didn't stop.
Because with every step, she was proving something, to herself most of all.
She might not glow yet. But she wasn't helpless. And when Shinji finally looked up, his breath caught.
There, bathed in golden sunlight, Hana stood perfectly balanced at the center of the bamboo beam, not with chakra, but with skills. Her hands were steady, her breathing even.
For the first time that day, she smiled. And so did Shinji. `I completely forgot I could've had her start with that,` he thought. He felt a pang of disappointment in himself. `I need to get rid of my tunnel vision, just because I know the plot doesn't mean that I'm an expert` he stated before he looked towards the sky and continued meditating.