"Ah, Betty."
"Kate, happy birthday."
Lauren Bacall, whose real name was Betty Joan Perske, was seventy-nine years old. In 1999, she ranked twentieth on the American Film Institute's list of the 100 Greatest Female Stars of Classical Hollywood Cinema. Incidentally, the woman ranked first was Katherine Hepburn.
Although she had received only one Oscar nomination, there was no doubt that Lauren Bacall had occupied a place in Hollywood's Golden Age.
The two actresses, both veterans of Hollywood's Golden Age, had grown closer as they aged. After all, there were fewer and fewer familiar faces from their generation left around...
Seeing that Katherine Hepburn was still wearing her trademark casual pants and was able to walk without a cane, Lauren Bacall couldn't help but look envious, especially of the latter.
"Oh, my God. Kate, have you taken some kind of miracle medicine? How are you still as energetic as a young girl?"
"You know me. I'm a miser of the highest order. How could I go around eating random things outside? I just eat healthily and shit healthily."
Because her father had been a doctor, combined with her own blunt personality, Katherine Hepburn had absolutely no taboos when it came to topics like eating, drinking, and bodily functions. Anyone who knew her was already accustomed to it.
"The only thing that's particularly different is that my little assistant and personal caregiver have taken very good care of me."
Katherine Hepburn's personal caregiver, Maria Thomson, had already gone home to take care of her children. The only person currently staying by the old lady's side was Henry, her little personal assistant for daily affairs.
The Kryptonian who had just been mentioned was currently stuffing a mini hot dog into his mouth. He froze mid-motion, his eyes widening as he stared at the two old ladies discussing him, making for quite a comical sight.
Lauren Bacall reached out and gave Henry's perky backside a pat. "Young man, when are you going to come work for me? I'll even double your salary."
Another deadly question from the world of human relations! Super Brain, come teach me how to use superpowers here. For example, how do I punch two old ladies into orbit with one blow?
In reality, the Kryptonian simply gave an awkward laugh with the mini hot dog still stuffed in his mouth. "Ms. Bacall, you're in such good health that you only need to maintain your usual routine. Why would you need any special care?
"But I can print out a copy of my healthy diet for you. Besides the choice of ingredients and cooking methods, it also lists the appropriate times to eat and situations in which certain foods shouldn't be eaten.
"There are quite a few rules, perhaps, but if you hand it over to a suitable assistant or nutritionist and have them arrange everything carefully, I believe you can balance both your health and your enjoyment of food.
"Oh, and one more thing. For daily health supplements, I only recommend taking vitamins. The rest aren't necessary. They're basically an intelligence tax. And once you start taking one, you have to take the others too, otherwise their side effects can't cancel each other out. It's basically a chain trap."
Lauren Bacall was astonished. "But aren't experts saying that more than ninety percent of the nutrients in vitamin tablets are lost when you take them directly, meaning they're practically useless?"
Henry explained, "The experts never said what proportion of a tablet is actually functional nutritional ingredients, or how much consists of fillers, flavoring agents, and other additives.
"Vitamins were discovered relatively early and entered scientists' field of vision at the beginning of the last century. Back then, pharmaceutical regulations and the profit-making methods of drug companies weren't nearly as sophisticated. Every pharmaceutical company competed in the market by increasing the proportion of nutritional ingredients.
"So vitamin tablets had a very high proportion of functional nutritional ingredients, several times or even dozens of times the amount required by the human body each day, while the price was cheap. That was the result of the early pharmaceutical industry's vicious competition. In other words, there was no profit in it.
"Modern pharmaceutical companies have already figured out a whole set of ways to make money. One of them is controlling the proportion of functional nutritional ingredients and using harmless, ineffective additives to make up the weight of the tablets. Once the costs are controlled, there's room for profit.
"But these nutritional supplements that have been sold for so long no longer have any room for profit manipulation. The best approach is to phase out these old medicines and promote new ones with better profit margins.
"But does that really mean the old medicines have no effect? Mm-hmm, no! I can't say for other types of medicine, but the effects of vitamins are quite obvious. Even if most of what you take is lost, they're still worth taking, and they're cheap.
"As for what tricks they're playing with those new medicines, I won't say too much, because that's already getting into professional territory. I'll put it this way: how effective a medicine is depends on the conscience of the pharmaceutical company. Unfortunately, the people running pharmaceutical companies are businessmen, so there you have it."
Henry shrugged, putting on an expression of helpless resignation.
Lauren Bacall looked at the older woman beside her in surprise. "Really?"
Katherine Hepburn shrugged as well. "I don't know either. Henry handles all these arrangements anyway. I've never asked."
Noticing the elderly star's gaze, Henry waved his hands and shook his head. "When it comes to medication for chronic diseases, I wouldn't dare tell anyone to stop taking it just like that. You have to follow your doctor's instructions.
"But for ordinary nutritional and health supplements, if you've been taking them regularly, you can try switching things up for a while and see how it goes. Your own body will tell you best whether there's any effect."
Of course, Katherine Hepburn wasn't the only person who had noticed Henry's conversation with Lauren Bacall. Quite a few other old folks around their age had been secretly listening as well.
The moment Henry finished speaking and took a sip of champagne to wet his throat, people eagerly began firing off their hundred-thousand questions about longevity and staying healthy.
Henry naturally didn't try to take responsibility for everything or explain every last detail. He only talked about some harmless peripheral matters. Whenever the topic touched on medicine or medical treatment, he deliberately kept his answers vague.
He didn't have a relevant medical degree or license, nor did he have a nutritionist's certification. If he started claiming that something could guarantee recovery from a stroke or guarantee weight loss, wouldn't he be pestered to death if something went wrong later?
Although Katherine Hepburn's birthday party could only be considered a semi-public occasion, and Henry wasn't charging anyone money for his advice,
the people surrounding him were all elderly, white-haired men and women, some of whom had difficulty even moving around. These people were already at the age where they would grasp at any possible lifeline. If something went wrong, they could become truly vicious when turning around and blaming him.
So regardless of how close he was to someone, Henry only talked about harmless things and made sure there were no loopholes in what he said. At most, he promised that the healthy medicinal-diet recipe he had originally planned to give Lauren Bacall would be prepared as a copy for everyone to take home.
In reality, Henry was already considering that medicinal-diet recipe. Perhaps some of the more potent tonics would have to be removed. Only mild warming or cooling dishes that could be eaten continuously without causing problems would be considered for inclusion. The emphasis would be on being gentle and delicious.
Never trust elderly people when they say they're willing to follow the rules. The only rules they'll follow are their own. Rules imposed by others don't count.
A major reason the old lady could still be so full of life today was that Henry had never tried to impose rules on her. He simply took care of everything silently, making sure everything was done properly.
Katherine Hepburn wasn't the sort of person who asked why about everything, either. When it came to people she trusted, she simply went with the flow. That was why things had turned out so well.
"I have no fear of death. I'm sure it'll be as wonderful as taking a long sleep."
Those were the old lady's own words.
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