The Stadio Olimpico in Rome was a cauldron of noise, a hostile fortress of yellow and red....
Despite the monumental pressure, the pre-game atmosphere was classic Inter.
The players went through their rituals, a symphony of nervous energy and familiar banter.
Julián Álvarez, while meticulously adjusting his socks, looked over at the imposing figure of Romelu Lukaku warming up on the big screen.
"Okay, I have a question," he said to the room at large. "Lukaku is very big and strong, right? Like a bull. So if our defender, who is also very strong, tackles him, does that count as an agricultural dispute?"
Lautaro Martínez, who was trying to get into his captain's zone, just closed his eyes and massaged his temples. "Julián," he said, his voice a long, suffering sigh. "Please. For my sanity. Just for today. Can we not?"
"It's a valid tactical point!" Julián insisted. "If it's an agricultural dispute, the referee should bring out a farmer, not a yellow card!"
