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Episode 41: This Is What You Brought Upon Yourself
I was born in a cesspool.
My home was filled with relentless poverty, violence, and contempt.
My so-called father was a tattooed thug who, whenever he got drunk, would beat my mother and me.
My so-called mother, instead of resisting, would only fawn over him and cling to him.
"You bitch! Can't you take care of your hole? Why is it so loose and floppy?"
"Aah! I'm sorry, honey! I'll squeeze tighter! So please, harder...!"
As if they didn't care that their young daughter was in the next room, those two animals would tangle up every night, screaming vulgarities.
Sometimes, after sex, my father, still flushed with excitement, would use my mother's naked body as a pillow and make me run errands for him.
The disgusting sight and the fishy smell still haunt my nightmares.
"I'm sorry, my daughter, I'm so sorry," my mother would sometimes whisper and cry by my bedside as I pretended to sleep, but I never felt any sympathy.
The sight of a weakling groveling before the strong was only repulsive to me.
At the very least, I swore deep in my bones from a young age that I would never become someone like my mother.
Maybe, the person I am-Park Mina-was already complete back then.
To survive in this hell, you had to be ruthless.
Before you get hurt. Before you get trampled.
You had to step on others first.
Dominate or be dominated. In this world, those were the only two options.
Coincidentally, I had the talent for it.
Maybe it was thanks to my looks from a young age, but just a smile or a cute word would make boys my age fall for me like fools.
I realized early on that this was my greatest weapon.
By middle school, I was already the queen of a small kingdom.
The boys tried to win my favor.
The girls watched me and formed cliques.
When I saw that my words could change the whole class's mood or sway someone's reputation, a thrilling shiver ran through my body.
Even though I realized I was doing exactly what I hated about my father, I couldn't stop.
But even being queen within the school walls didn't change the reality that I had to return to the gutter.
Unless I escaped this cursed home, I was destined to flounder in the cesspool forever.
I had to escape. As far away as possible, to a place where no one knew me.
"Use this money for your college tuition," my mother suddenly handed me an envelope of money as I neared high school graduation.
Maybe she had a sliver of maternal instinct or guilt left.
That night, she hugged me and sobbed, but I never shed a single tear.
The first day I escaped the hell that had bound me for years,
I buried my face in a strange dorm bed and cried silently all night.
I still don't know if those tears were from joy, sadness, or simply relief at surviving.
I thought my life would change now that I'd escaped that hell.
If only it had been as easy as I hoped.
Values ingrained since childhood don't disappear just because your environment changes.
If anything, it got worse.
Even as I hated men, I constantly craved the affection and attention I never got from my parents-a contradiction that endlessly clashed inside me.
The relationships I started to fill that void always ended in disaster.
The men who approached me only wanted my looks, and behind their kindness, I always sensed ulterior motives.
By then, I was too twisted to form any pure relationship.
When I graduated college and entered society, I despaired at how I still hadn't changed.
Even in a new environment, people were the same.
Subtle mind games, invisible hierarchies.
I was disgusted with myself for still sizing people up and exploiting their weaknesses.
It felt like a trap I could never escape.
So when I joined Travel Wiz, I vowed to truly start over this time.
To forget my wretched past and stained love life.
To live as an ordinary working woman, Park Mina.
Maybe I chose a travel agency because I subconsciously wanted to run away somewhere.
Or maybe I just desperately needed a stable job.
But my first real job was nothing like I imagined.
Far from free travel, I was stuck in an office, doing boring, repetitive work.
Pretending to be the sweet, helpful junior was exhausting.
Still, I told myself that if I could just maintain this small peace, it would be enough.
But even that peace didn't last long.
"Did you hear about Park Mina in Marketing? They say she's a total man-eater."
"She really flirts with the guys. The way she shakes her tail is no joke."
The past is a stain that can't be erased.
I don't know where the rumors about my past started, but they grew and spread as scandalous gossip.
I was sick of it.
I just wanted to do well.
I thought I'd finally escaped hell.
'If I don't get rid of this label, somehow...'
The first thing that caught my anxious eyes was none other than Lee Hyunseong.
Ordinary, a bit naïve, maybe kind or maybe just soft.
The type who, like the boys around me in school, would smile stupidly and be easy to handle if I just smiled and was nice to him.
Ridiculously, as soon as I saw him, a plan formed in my head.
How to manipulate him, how to use him.
Despite my vow to start over, I reverted to my old self in no time.
The process was almost laughably easy.
I approached him when he was down after getting scolded by the team leader, pretended to comfort and care, suggested drinks, and he fell for it without resistance.
Men really are all the same.
-"How could you do that to your precious junior?"
-"I don't believe it."
When I met his sincere gaze at the bar, I felt disgusted with myself for a brief, fleeting moment of hesitation.
'Get a grip, Park Mina. He's just being nice. It's just pity!'
'You have to be tough. Bite first before you get bitten.'
Surprisingly, sex with him wasn't bad.
Honestly, it was pretty good.
Despite his ordinary looks, his body was solid enough to make me want more.
His clumsy but rough movements gave unexpected pleasure.
If-
If only I'd grown up in a better environment.
If I'd learned how to love and be loved.
Maybe things could have been different.
But that's just pointless fantasy.
I'm already too broken to live any other way.
I never really intended to go through with a lawsuit.
As long as I could quiet the rumors, that was enough.
So, I'm sorry, senior?
Thank you for everything, but please be my scapegoat.
"There's no need to be sorry."
...Huh?
Whose voice was that just now?
And what was I just thinking...?
"I'll accept your apology in a different way from now on."
[Suggestion has been switched OFF.]
Suddenly, my consciousness shot up to the surface.
It felt like someone had grabbed me by the hair and yanked me out of deep water.
As my blurry vision refocused, the scene before me was unfamiliar-not my apartment.
Strange wallpaper patterns.
Dreamy orange lighting from the ceiling.
A faint scent of air freshener and disinfectant stung my nose.
"What... is this?"
My mind was in chaos.
The feel of synthetic leather from the sofa on my back was eerily foreign.
I was sure I had followed my plan at the café-blackmailed Lee Hyunseong, demanded money, and was about to leave.
What happened after that?
Wherever this was, it definitely wasn't my home.
Yet, strangely, it felt vaguely familiar.
This lighting and smell...
"Already forgotten? Where this is?"
A voice from behind-so familiar it was chilling-made my heart drop.
"...Senior?"
I don't know when he got behind me, but Hyunseong walked up to me with a relaxed gait.
His gaze as he looked down at me was cold, nothing like before.
"We had a great time here last week, didn't we? It was so hot-would be a shame if you forgot already."
"..."
At his words, I quickly darted my eyes around.
Only then did I realize this was the motel where I'd seduced him last Friday night.
"Looks like you remember now? Where this is?"
As soon as I heard that, I instinctively tried to leap up from my seat.
I didn't know why I was here alone with this man.
My instincts screamed at me to run.
But-
"Huh?"
My body wouldn't move.
It wasn't that I felt heavy or paralyzed; it was as if my body wasn't mine at all, as if I were set in invisible cement.
The strangest thing was that I wasn't tied up or restrained in any way.
"Ugh! Ngh...!"
"Don't bother. Just sit still and don't waste your energy."
As I desperately tried to break free, his cold voice landed in my ear again.
"Did you do this to me, senior? What did you do?!"
"What if I did?"
He snorted as if amused by my frantic voice.
"This is obviously kidnapping and confinement! On top of raping your junior, now this-is this sane?"
He just shrugged nonchalantly.
"I'm perfectly sane. And kidnapping? Confinement? What are you talking about? You came here on your own two feet."
"W-what? That's a lie!"
"It's true. If you don't believe me, ask the motel owner to check the CCTV later."
His mocking, confident tone showed not a hint of doubt.
Did I really come here myself?
But I had no memory after he took out his smartphone at the café.
Yet his confident attitude made me fear he might be telling the truth.
"So what are you going to do? Dragging someone to a place like this..."
I snapped back with the last of my pride.
"Nothing much. Just thought we could have a candid conversation."
He said this as he took out his smartphone.
He held it up horizontally, as if filming a video.
The lens was pointed right at me.
"Alright, Park Mina."
His voice was as clear as a news anchor's, grating on my ears.
"Last Friday, did I really force you to the motel and have sex with you? Tell the truth, no lies-say it clearly and honestly."
"Ha."
That's what you brought me here to ask?
Did he think I'd just confess out of fear?
How stupid.
Without hesitation, my answer was...
"What are you talking about? That night, I tricked you into coming, didn't I? If you're going to talk, get it right."
...What?
What did I just say?
"I see~."
He smiled in satisfaction, regardless of my confusion.
"Why did you seduce me? Be honest, no lies."
"To cover up the rumors about me at work with a scandal involving you. And to get some money out of it."
No, stop!
I screamed inside, but my mouth moved on its own.
"Because you're a pushover, senior. I thought you'd fall for it easily. You have no presence at work, so not many people would take your side."
Hyunseong let out a sound of admiration, then lowered his phone and glanced at me.
"Wow. I knew it, but hearing it from your own mouth is even more disgusting."
"W-what did you do to me?"
Fear slowly crept into my heart.
I had no idea what he had done to me.
"What do you mean, what did I do? You just confessed everything."
No.
I didn't want to confess.
What I just said wasn't my will.
"I do feel sorry for your story. I can even understand why your personality turned out so twisted."
My circumstances? My past?
What is he talking about?
What do you know about me?
"But that's one thing, and this is another. Whatever your reasons, you tried to ruin someone else's life."
All I could do was look up at him in confusion.
"So don't be too resentful or blame anyone. This is all what you brought upon yourself."
Before I could even process his words, his voice pierced my ears again.
Colder and sharper than ever before.
"Get up and take off your clothes."
A pain like an awl pierced my chest, and chills ran all over my body.
Even though my mind screamed to curse and resist, nothing changed.
My body, against my will, slowly stood up and reached for the zipper of my outerwear.
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