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Chapter 100 - 58 - Awakening

Awakening

"Um, are you feeling unwell?"

Subaru, who had been pretending to sleep, heard Reinhild's concerned question.

After a moment of silence, he sat up.

"Falling asleep while getting patted on the head... Just that alone makes this the best event I've ever experienced!

I feel fully recharged for the first time in ages.

Yep, you could say Natsuki Subaru has made a perfect comeback!"

—Although in reality, it was a super embarrassing situation where he cried his eyes out in front of the girl he liked, sniveling and bawling, turning his face and the area around into a complete mess before falling asleep.

And when he woke up, he realized that the one he had poured his heart out to had stayed by his side the whole time.

Yeah, shameful.

Thinking back on what he did yesterday made Subaru's ears turn red instantly.

He almost felt like crying again from the sheer shame of it.

But he had already cried his heart out, drained every tear from his body.

So now, Subaru wasn't going to cry anymore.

Though his resolve was strong, when faced with the girl's eyes that were as clear and vast as the sky, Subaru couldn't help but lower his head, unable to look her in the eye.

To hide his embarrassment, he spoke while brushing his hand across his cheek.

"If you've had some rest, then that's good. Now, let's get back to the main topic."

Reinhild pressed a finger against the boy's lips just as he was about to apologize.

"I don't want your apology. Helping someone in trouble with what little strength I have is something I want to do."

—No guy would still act cool after that, right? No, no, a guy who can stay cool in this situation shouldn't exist.

In fact, Subaru, who had already been completely captivated by Reinhild, felt his heart race at her gesture and emotionally recovered at a rate several times faster than usual.

Of course, it wasn't just because Subaru had his mind in the gutter.

Yesterday, under Reinhild's kindness, he had finally released all the toxic emotions and suppressed tears that had been piling up inside him.

Now, Subaru's heart had finally returned to a stable state.

He liked Reinhild.

He liked the life he had with everyone at the mansion.

He liked being in this room where they taught him all kinds of things.

He liked the tsundere Ben.

He liked the meticulous Winston who carefully guided him.

He loved Reinhild's smile.

He liked his lazy teacher, his overly familiar teacher.

Reinhild-sama truly was a goddess.

He was also deeply grateful to Leander, who had shown him an immeasurable amount of kindness.

And he was thankful to Reinhild for providing him with a place to live that felt like paradise.

Subaru could finally face his feelings toward the mansion honestly.

There was happiness there that he couldn't give up—precious memories he could never erase.

These were the sources of Subaru's strength.

He had confirmed there was a mole in the mansion, so he stopped trusting everyone there.

Even after finding out about Capella's presence later, that distrust didn't go away.

He had confirmed that confessing was useless, so he stopped telling people about the possible crises.

He had confirmed that he couldn't rely on Reinhild to solve the problems, so he began avoiding her.

He had confirmed that the rumors in the royal capital wouldn't help, so he gave in to despair.

But now, with that pressure finally lifted, Subaru could finally face what he had done.

He realized how foolish he had been.

In the beginning, he just wanted to protect everyone.

But somewhere along the way, under the immense pressure, he had gradually gone astray—further and further away from his original intent.

And now, he had finally returned to the right path.

He was the one who brought the crisis.

He didn't have the power to protect her. He didn't have the power to resolve the crisis.

All he could do was watch as hell unfolded before him, over and over.

Each time he woke up, he checked whether he was still alive, spending day after day trying to fight the impending despair—only to fail again and again.

Sometimes Subaru really felt grateful to Reinhild.

In the fourth loop, the fifth, and even the sixth, she had reached out to help him.

But each time, he had brushed her hand away, using the excuse that he was protecting her.

Of course, it wasn't just an excuse.

Because when it came to Reinhild, Subaru couldn't bear to see her in danger.

For someone like Subaru, who valued his own life above all, if Reinhild's existence was placed on the scales with his own life—he felt that Reinhild would win.

That was how important she was to him.

So when Reinhild's spirit was crushed in the fourth loop, and her heart was crushed in the fifth—Subaru had been terrified.

Terrified of losing Reinhild.

The boy ignored the girl's request to help him, even though she was the strong one.

Luckily, the girl was kind to a fault.

Even though he was such a stubborn person, even when his heart was on the verge of collapse, the one who comforted him was still Reinhild.

And unlike previous times, this time, Subaru had truly and completely awakened.

Yes, in other words—

"...Just how high is your kindness stat?! Are you actually a saint in both body and soul?!

You're so radiant it's making my eyes bleed! Reinhild, you're an actual angel!"

"That's too much. I'm only doing what I believe I should."

"I just wanted to reconfirm what's most important to me."

"And now? Can you tell me about your situation?"

"Mm!"

Now, Subaru finally had the resolve to hold the girl's hand.

As for trust, everything that had happened in the sixth loop was enough to make Reinhild someone Subaru could completely rely on.

"Please. In every way possible, I'm begging you!"

Subaru bowed his head as he made his request.

"Your strength is indispensable. In short, I want to protect the place where my happiness lies."

"The truth is, I've been driven into a corner. So I'll be straightforward—I want to ask you for help!"

Subaru took a deep breath and finally shouted his plea aloud.

He lowered his head and stayed still, the two of them falling into a wordless silence.

The waiting time should have been excruciating, but strangely enough, Subaru didn't feel any unease.

The girl placed her hand on his cheek and gently lifted his face to look at her.

"No need to beg like that."

Sunlight streamed in through the window.

The girl, wrapped in light, showed a radiant smile.

The scene was so beautiful that the boy couldn't bring himself to resist the girl's strength anymore.

"Thank you for trusting me. Let me help you end this tragic stage. And no need to thank me—because we're already friends."

—Friends!

—Friends? (○-○)

—Friends?!! (_)

"What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"

"No, no, I'm fine. Just... slept too well. Probably just tears from yawning, you know."

Though he thought he wouldn't cry again, a few minutes after having that thought, the boy shed a single tear—one filled with complex emotions.

 

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