Her eyes burn into his. "You want connection? Then touch me. You want love? Then learn my language. Because mine? Mine is physical." She says, stepping much closer until their noses nearly touch. "This is mine. Not words. Not poetry. Touch. Skin. Teeth. Gasps. Sweat. Fingers digging into hips, lips tracing thighs. You worshipping my body like it's sacred and filthy all at once."
"Tori…"
"I don't want a soft romance," she says darkly. "I want you to grab my neck and choke me. Not to hurt me, but to claim me. I want you to grab my jaw when I talk too much, pull my hair when I whimper, spank my ass till it stings. I want your fingers on my thighs, in my panties, inside me. I want you to ruin me."
James's breath is ragged. "Damn...."
She presses into him. Her voice drops into a whisper, trembling with desire.
"We're both virgins, yeah? Cool. But before I die, I'm trying to fuck you. Not just sleep with you...own you. Try everything filthy, everything wild, everything we shouldn't even know."
She tilts her head. "Is that too much to ask?"
He doesn't answer.
She lifts his hand and presses it to her thigh slowly lifting it upward. "I want you to caress me like I'm fragile and then finger me like I'm yours.
Her breath shudders, "Just...lick me once. Obsess over me the way I already am with you. I don't need flowers. I need fingers, lips, tongue. You."
Silence.
James stares at her torn, eyes wide open and dilated. He waited a beat. His voice low. Strained.
"I already told you, I cannot give you what you want. I'm scared that you too will…" he pauses hinting at his trauma. "And I need to know you're not just in heat, that you're in this."
Victoria cups his face, gently. "I understand your struggles. It's you I want by my side for a very long time but what do you think all this is? I'm not offering you sex, James." Not yet. "I'm offering surrender. I don't want to beg for what I'm already entitled to."
Then she pulls back slightly, her voice quiet but deadly serious.
"So… what's it gonna be?"
A heavy pause. James exhales sharply.
Then?
"You are turning me into someone I am not," his voice dangerously low. He had that look on his face that turned Victoria on greatly as his fingers gently brushed her hair to the back of her ears.
He is finally letting go but not entirely. His lips are inches from hers, but he's breathing like a man trying to hold back a storm.
"Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?" he grits out.
Victoria smirks, but her voice is breathy. "Driving you insane, hopefully."
He gives a short dark laugh, his forehead pressing to hers. "You don't get it. Every time you try to seduce me, every time you say those dirty things in my ear, I--I start to lose it. I want to do everything you said. I do."
"Then do it," she challenges, eyes blazing.
His jaw clenches. He backs up against the wall, but still not touching her the way she wants. His body is taut, like a beast held by the leash of his conscience.
"I think about you every time," James admits, voice rough and strangled. "I am not made of steel. I get dirty thoughts but I curse myself for defiling you in such way. To me, you are like a holy being, to be worshipped and reverend."
Victoria's breath catches.
James dips his head, lips brushing the curve of her neck but he stops.
"I ask for forgiveness as I call your name like a prayer anytime I taint your saintly image with unholy thoughts..." he swallows, almost in pain.
Her hands slide up his chest, her voice velvet and fire. "Then pray to me. Pray my body things you wished for."
Without waiting, she closes the space between them and captures his lips.
Slowly.
Deliberately.
Her lips meet his with a soft press, and her eyes never leave his; anchoring him, daring him, inviting him deeper.
He freezes.
Then melts.
His eyes flutter shut as he gives in, kissing her back with a restrained gentleness that betrays the inferno inside him. Their mouths move slowly, tasting, testing, learning.
But it doesn't stay gentle for long.
He groans low in his throat as she nips at his lower lip then deepens the kiss.
Passion ignites like gasoline meeting flame.
His hands fly to her waist, yanking her flush against him. Her body molds to his as their mouths devour each other kissing like they're trying to breathe the other in.
She gasps when his tongue slides against hers, and the sound drives him wild.
His lips leave hers only to trail kisses along her jaw, down to her throat.
"Oh my god--James--"
She grips his shoulders as his mouth finds that tender spot on her neck and sucks hard enough to make her knees buckle.
"Right there," she moans.
He grabs the back of her thigh, pulling her leg up around his waist without thinking. She clutches at him like she'll lose her mind if he stops.
His teeth graze her skin, her throat, her collarbone and then he bites, gentle but possessive.
She cries out softly, panting.
"Shh, you're being too loud," he hisses against her skin, lips trembling. "But you taste like heaven."
Her fingers thread through his hair, yanking lightly. "Don't stop."
He presses her against the wall, hips tight to hers, one hand gripping her thigh, the other buried in her hair. Their breathing is ragged, kisses now frantic, open-mouthed, wet, messy, needy.
She grabs his face between both hands, pulling him back to her mouth. They kiss again, harder, tongues clashing, lips bruising.
They're both gasping, desperate.
"I want you," she breathes between kisses.
"I know," he groans, kissing her again, rougher.
James hands flex against the wall. He thought, this much is okay as long as she does not ask for more than he could offer... It would be fine.
He lets out a harsh breath. His control almost slips. He pulls back an inch, panting, forehead pressed to hers.
Both of them trembling.
His hand grabs her jaw, tilting her head back, his lips hovering over hers. His other hand slides down to her hip, gripping, possessive.
"You want filthy?" he whispers. "You want to be choked, spanked, fingered into oblivion?"
She gasps, nodding.
"I want it all," she moans. "I want to lose myself in you. What's it gonna be then?" she asks again, softer now, more vulnerable.
His body presses into hers, and for one dangerous second, he's about to give in.
But then...
He tears himself away gazing down at her, torn between restraint and hunger.
"I'll give you something," he murmurs. "Just enough to feed your addiction. But not enough to burn the house down…"
Victoria gave him an expectant look.
James blinked in disbelief. "Now?" He questioned her urgency.
Victoria nodded, "Yes."
James said without hesitation, "No."
It was like a whiplash to Victoria. Oh Lord help me. She grit her teeth so close to screaming at his rejection then asked, "Why?"
"Your parents are literally next door," James replied.
Victoria rolled her eyes and leaned closer to him. "Don't mind them," she said softly, her voice taking on a persuasive tone. "Just focus on me." but James was unmoved.
"We should give your parents that respect, at least and you are too loud."
Victoria was at the verge of yelling that her parents wouldn't mind and they would be quiet about it, but she held back again, listening to her mother's advice.
"So if we are alone, are you saying it's okay then?" she asked, seeing a ray of hope.
James closes his eyes, just for a second. Just long enough to gather what little remains of his sanity as he nods in agreement.
Then, with a tortured grunt, he kisses her one last time, slow, deep, final before resting his head in the crook of her neck, trying to breathe.
They stand there, shaking, hearts pounding in unison.
On the edge.
Still holding on.
However, barely.
Victoria smiled in victory. Her mom was right, everything worked out eventually. She could not be happier now. Except that night, she went to sleep restless and had another immoral dream featuring herself and James.