He took us to a different part of campus. He let go and plopped on a seat nearby. I stood there lost. What would my life be now.
"Is that?" Jae-Min asked.
"I think I'm going to go home." I said embarrassed.
"Which one?" He asked.
"Well, I still have my stuff at both." He looked puzzled.
"It sound's like you have no intention of leaving." He said with a troubled tone.
Did I sound pathetic because I didn't make a choice at this moment? What do I do. Yes I guess I could run away for a moment but eventually I would have to come to reality with the fact that we were not on the same page anymore. What can I do? I don't want to see him but I also want to make him suffer the same way i have been.
"How do I without seeing him?" I asked out loud.
I feel a little selfish asking help from someone and pretty much bring them in this. Jae-Min straighten up and leaned forward.
"Payback." He said.
When I looked over he had a look ready to cause trouble. Though I don't really know how to accomplish that.
"How?" I asked.
"Be with me." He said so casual.
"wahhhh!, are you crazy?" I said in shock, but also open to the idea.
"It's just a joke." He said a little disappointed.
Then again, I did want to move my stuff out of that apartment. Would it be too much to include him in this? I mean I would ask my friends but what happens if he comes home, another guy might be just the power I need.
"Do you think…..You can give me a ride to my apartment so I can grab my stuff?" Jae-Min tapped his chin playfully.
"What's in it for me?" He ask.
How could I forget me and this guy did just met. How could I expect him to just be a friend. What could he possibly want from a girl like me?
"Uh…what do you want." I felt my face heat up a bit.
"Hmm….you owe me a favor later." He states.
I guess that isn't too much to ask, and who knows maybe he will forget and I'll be free of anything troublesome.
"Fine deal." I stated.
He smiled and started to walk back to the area we were.
"Where are you going?" I asked..
"You needed a ride right?"
As we pulled up to my apartment, I wanted to hurry. Empty out my part of the apartment and go back to my dorm. I left Jae-Min in the car and I went into the apartment. Our broken apartment that doesn't even seem like a home anymore only a place good for harboring tension that we have built between each other the last few weeks. I grabbed an empty box and started throwing things in, nothing too neat, just to get out of here. Somehow even getting rid of my stuff is making me more sad. It makes me sad that life seems to be moving backwards. Well, my love life at least. As I wrapped up my final things, I turned to the front door and I heard a familiar voice and a woman laughing. I slowly see Chan-Yeol come into view with that girl. My first reaction was to throw this box at the both of them. Instead I just stared. What was his goal to bring her here. Don't tell me he was thinking of going further than what he was already doing. He never even went that far with me. I'm pretty sure that girl wasn't a virgin like me, she seemed so easy. I looked at Chan-Yeol hand, there was no ring. My eyes were stinging from me forcing them open. I knew if I was to blink my tears would fall. Tears that he didn't deserve. Chan-Yeol looked at my hand and grabbed his head.
"Were you going to leave me?" The audacity.
"We need a divorce." I said.
Honestly I wasn't planning on axing that. It just came out of my mouth. I think I was just looking for the quickest way to hurt him or get a reaction. I walked passed him with the box. I saw the mail on the outside of the door. I picked it up.
"Wait! Ha-Yun, things are complicated. You don't under-" He started.
"These are for you." I threw the mail with his name on it at her and him.
"Ha-Yun!" He yelled at me.
I walked away and made my way back to Jae-Min. How dare he bring her to our home. Did I mean that little. Did our marriage mean that little. It's not suppose to be like this. When I was at Jae-Min car, I put in my box and got in quick.
"I'm ready." I said as I looked down to my hands.
As he took off, I felt tears build up in my eyes and were ready to flow. How much of this pain and humiliation must I endure. He doesn't;t even try to hide it anymore. Just empty excuses anyone would have if they got caught. My tears started to drop and I tried to stay silent.
"Ha-Yun?" Jae-Min called.
I feel so ashamed. I almost forgot he was here. I can't imagine how awkward he must feel to be in this position. I looked up at him with tears still surrounding my eyes. His face seemed to shift. His mouth dropped open. He was beautiful. I wish he could embrace me within this pain. He has been here sharing the space, not making me feel like a burden only being wrapped in my own thoughts make me feel as such. He pulled over. When I looked toward my side we were outside of a confidence store.
"I'll be back, I want a drink." He got out.
Did I make the mood awkward by my crying. I need to pull it together. What was I thinking. Apart from my crying, Jae-Min seemed a little tense, as if he was holding back. Did he want to ditch me already? I hope he doesn't see me like a crybaby.
## Jae-Min POV
I entered the store and I couldn't think straight. What was I doing here anyway? It's her. She was there crying, face all red and puffy. My chest started to hurt from an adrenaline rush. I wanted to do something but what was it exactly. A snack? I don't even eat snacks really. Maybe I should get her some water, tissue? If I'm to be honest to see her tears crowd her face like that brought heat to my face. She looked exhausted as if she was crying all day, or even.... No I can't think about this right now. I couldn't stop the flowing images of me and her. I hover over those watery eyes, but for a way to make her feel good and not hurt her. No. What am i thinking. She was just hurt by her husband, and I'm here thinking of spreading my hands across that small frame and ruining all her innocence. I went to the counter and threw what I had on the counter for him to check out. I peaked out to the car. She had her face in her phone, while biting a finger. Was she texting her husband? What if he said the right thing and she somehow run back. I watched him climb the steps to their apartment with that girl. I wanted to confront him, even say some antagonizing words, but I thought the pain would hit her harder to wake her up about this guy. Seeing how she left pretty quickly when he made it to the top, I'm sure that's why she was crying. I'm a selfish guy aren't I?
## Ha-Yun POV
Jae-Min was taking a long time. I wondering if he was just trying to give me time. The conversation we had before going to the apartment flashed in my head. Jae-Min suggesting payback. What did he mean by that? Were we going to trash his car? Maybe hire someone to beat up Chan-Yeol? There was many things to do, but I don't want to get arrested just for revenge. Jae-Min got back into the car, but something was different. His ears were red and his face was a little shined as if he was sweating.
"Are you ok?" I asked.
"Your the one that got hurt, and your worried about me?" He asked.
"It's just your neck and ears." I said.
He handed me a bottle of water. No answer. I took it and slowly drunk it.
"Drink all of it, your face is going pale from all that crying and it's getting puffy." I touched my cheek to feel.
As we made our way back to the dorm, I felt a sense of freedom, as if I didn't belong to CHan-Yoel anymore. Still Hurt by what happened, That relief might be what helps me sleep tonight.
"Jae-Min?" I called to him shyly.
He turned to me curious.
"When you said for me to get payback earlier-" I paused.
"I-I was just-" I cut him off.
"I don't mind I just don't want to get arrested." I blurted out.
His eyes widened at the statement.
"Arrested? Why would you get arrested?" I was a little confused.
"Well, Whatever we do, maybe let's not go too far where police are involved." I said with a nervous laugh.
He seemed a bit disappointed. I saw his face turn red.
"That's not what I meant Ha-Yun."
"What else did you mean?"
"You know what men and women do to get others jealous."
"You mean…..touch!" I raised my voice.
"Just forget it! It was just a joke."
"Let's do it." I said.
Honestly I don't know what I was thinking by saying that to him. I've never had another boyfriend. I looked up at him and he seemed shocked but with a haughty look in his eyes. What was he thinking? I feel it was not the same as me. I was a little scared to ask.
"What?" He said.
"I mean, you and me, get payback. I could feel my face emit heat.
## Jae-Min POV
As we pulled up to the dorm, campus was dull. I can't stop thinking about her suggesting payback, and with those hazy purple eyes, and puffy red face. I'm getting too excited. I got out and grabbed her box, and we made our way to her dorm. As we made it into her dorm, I placed her box on the bed. She walked to place the water on the nightstand. I can't believe she thought I meant payback as in something that would get us arrested. I would love to her in cuffs but not those. I thought about having her bent over that bed, while I place her hands behind her back… Stop! I rubbed the back of my head.
"So, what will we be doing for the payback?" She asked.
She seemed to be serious about it. I didn't;t think she would agree to something so loosely planned.
"Well, we would..." I didn't finish.
How could I say it, I wish she would help me out by being on the same page, so I didn't seem like the only one. I pointed to the bed, and I felt ear get warm again. She looked back and It looked like she broke into a sweat.
"As in...sleep together?! You pervert!!" She yelled toward me.
"Forget it! I would never touch you, I was just poking fun, but forget it." I turned around and stormed towards the door.
I felt a tug on my shirt. I turned to see her with her head down.
"Listen Ha-Yun."
"Do you mean that?" She asked.
"Mean what?"
"That you would never touch me?" I felt a surge of adrenaline sweep over me.
I covered my face with my arm. She doesn't know what she is doing. What I could do. It's becoming a little hard to hide the bad thoughts, the thoughts of seeing her cry again but only looking at me. I turned to her.
"Ha-Yun-ah." I said.
She looked up at me with those soft purple eyes. It's taking all my strength from being over her. I grabbed the arm that pulled my shirt and pulled her close to me.
"The things I would do to you….You have no idea." I said to her.
## Ha-Yun POV
Jae-Min had me pressed up against his body. I was afraid to look up at him but I did slowly. His face was red, but his eyes were predatory. It was as if he could swallow me whole. I started to shake a little. I was nervous. He was a feet taller than me. I felt like melting in this grip.
"The things I would do to you….. you have no idea." He said.
I fear we were talking about something more than a simple sleeping together. More so like what we would be doing that close. But…..I've never done that. I felt his finger brush my lower back under my shirt and I felt a jolt of sensation. I jumped a little that I pulled out of his arm.
"Don't worry, we can pause those things and focus on the simpler ones. "
"How would we get him jealous then. It's not like he goes to school here. " I said.
"No, but he's always here." That's right.
"So when we see him we can act like we are dating?" I asked.
"Well let's be careful and not do too much, we don't want it to backfire on you, and he spreads some rumor about you." I didn't think so much about that.
I plopped on my bed. This all seems a bit risky but it was worth a try. What was it I was really trying to do? Get him back? Make him suffer and leave? I wasn't quite sure yet but I was going to figure that part out later. I laid back.
"What a day." I breathed.
"Should we practice?" Jae-Min hovered over me with a mischievous smile.
I hopped up and started to push him out.
"OUT you perv, he's no where around!" I shut the door on him.
There seemed to be a part of him that changed a bit. He was bold just like he was when we first met. Was he just feeling bad for me in that moment? I was curious, but I had to start planning how to make Chan-Yeol pay.