I HAD A DISAGREEMENT with Kei over something related to Ichinose.
I intentionally minimized contact and kept my distance for quite some time.
Unable to meet Kei on Christmas due to an unexpected accident, the flu, I realized it was already the end of the year—December 29th.
Our meeting time was set for a leisurely three o'clock in the afternoon.
Until then, I spent an ordinary day off in my room with nothing to do.
I watched TV, read books, surfed the internet, and listened to music.
I thought it would be boring, but I found fulfillment in the ordinary.
Finally, with 20 minutes left until the promised time, I decided to leave the dormitory.
We were to meet at the entrance of Keyaki Mall, but I thought we could run into each other by chance.
However, there was no sign of Kei in the dormitory lobby or outside.
I thought about it again in my head.
What does it mean for me to be in a relationship?
What is love in the first place?
Among the several definitions of 'relationship' in the dictionary, the one that applied to us right now was 'dating as a couple.'
It was easy to understand and could be taken literally.
Meanwhile, when I looked up 'love' in the dictionary, it said, "the emotion of affection a man and a woman have for each other."
Affection. Emotion. Have I been able to learn about love over time?
That was the first point to consider.
I had learned a lot of emotions in this school.
Classes, conversations with friends, talks with teachers, shopping, playing.
With that, I learned what was interesting, not interesting, fun, not fun, delicious, not delicious, and many more.
Through my relationship with Kei, I learned a lot about what lovers experience and go through.
Conversations, dates, and acts of intimacy that could only be done as a couple.
I could probably say that I had taken all the actions that would be considered model answers.
So, could I say that I've learned the feeling of love?
The answer was probably different. It wasn't the same as learning emotions.
My heart hadn't been swayed at all—from before I started dating Kei until now.
That was something I'd asked myself over and over on a daily basis.
I didn't know the answer, but I had a hunch.
It was that I saw Kei as a vehicle to learn about love. I prioritized experiences that could only be done as a couple. In other words, I left that emotion behind when I moved ahead to the next step before my subconscious had caught up.
Of course, I didn't regret it. I learned a lot from Kei.
However, the time to decide how long to continue this relationship approached.
Kei was the student who carried the most darkness within Horikita's class.
Even if she tried being strong, she had a dependent nature. And I took advantage of that and brought her into my control.
But I couldn't achieve my goal while leaving this intense dependency in place.
Now that my policy had changed dramatically, her breaking free from dependency was essential.
That was why I have gained the right to learn something new.
I wondered whether or not there was hesitation in parting with Kei.
If I felt hesitant to let her go, then maybe it could really be called love.
There were nearly five minutes left until the promised time, but Kei was already waiting there. She was looking down and hadn't noticed me yet.
Considering the time, it wouldn't be strange for her to start looking around for me.
Maybe she was afraid that she might not be able to see me when she lifted her head.
Or perhaps she had some resistance to meeting me face to face.
"You're early."
I approached her, but not to surprise her too much, I left some distance between us and called out to her.
"Ah—"
Reacting to my voice, Kei raised her head.
We were supposed to go on a date today since we couldn't have one on Christmas together, but she didn't look excited. Maybe she was just so anxious she couldn't help it.
At the very least, I couldn't see any feelings of disgust, disappointment, or loss of interest in me.
"It's been a while..."
"Yeah. In the sense that we're alone like this, it's been about three weeks."
By the time we finished exchanging small talk, we were closely facing each other.
There seemed to be a wedge between me and Kei at that moment. Until now, we used to be so close that we would practically be touching each other. Those three weeks apart left an awkward atmosphere between us.
"Are you feeling completely better now?"
"Yeah. Did you hear from someone?"
"Last night, I got a call from Satō, worrying for you. I heard it then.""I see..."
Our feelings were still nowhere near the usual and remained somewhat distant. Even though we're in a relationship and have many secrets between us, this was how much a person's appearance could change when they're filled with anxiety.
"Let's go inside for now."
"Yeah..."
It was cold outside in winter. I decided to take Kei inside Keyaki Mall first.
"What do you want to do?"
"Originally, we were planning on seeing the Christmas tree here first.""Yeah..."
The Christmas tree had already been removed, leaving only a large empty space.
The next time it'd be lively and decorated again would be next year's Halloween or Christmas.
"It's too bad we couldn't see it."
"Yeah..."
Since we met up and started to move, Kei had been distant and only repeatedly said 'Yeah.'
Indeed, that was to be expected.
After all, the reason for our current separation laid with me.
It'd be normal to object to going out with someone of the opposite sex while having a lover.
Moreover, if I objectively looked at my own situation, what I did could be taken as cheating, and there was no helping it.
Kei probably didn't have the courage to open such a danger-emitting door herself.
"For now, I want to apologize for the misunderstanding that occurred regarding Ichinose. I want to stand before you, bring my hands together, and bow deeply."
"...Kiyotaka..."
"It's natural for you to feel angry and worried. To be clear, there's no fault on your part at all."
"No, that's not true... I've said some harsh things too..."
"That isn't true. I think you endured it quite well."
Without berating me, she only expressed her rightful dissatisfaction.
"I really wanted to apologize much earlier, but it ended up being delayed."
While apologizing, I took out a box that I had hidden in my pocket beforehand.
"What's this...?"
"It's late, but it's a Christmas present. Please accept it."
Kei slowly reached out her hand, then pulled it back. Still not completely rid of her anxiety, she showed a frightened reaction.
I touched her stiff hand and gently closed her fingers around the box.
Then I took the coat she had been holding and urged her to open it.
"Can I open it?"
"Of course."
She gathered her resolve, and while she pressed down on the bottom of the box with her left hand, she removed the lid.
What came out of the box was a shiny necklace. She stared at it intently and raised her face in surprise.
"Did I tell you, Kiyotaka, that I wanted this...!?"
"I didn't need to hear it directly. I saw that you had searched for it many times on your phone. You looked at a lot of other things too, but this felt the most special."
Among the jewelry I'd seen, some were more expensive than this, but considering our position as students, it'd be hard to imagine her asking for something overly extravagant.
First of all, I thought it was definitely the right choice...
Kei still stood frozen, holding the necklace.
"Could it be that I was wrong?"
If that was the case, it would be a blunder caused by my selfish actions.
However, Kei denied it, shaking her head vigorously left and right and clutching the necklace.
"No, you're correct...!"
"I see. That's good."
"This… isn't a dream… is it!?"
A joyful Kei, without caring about the possibility that someone might be nearby, started crying on the spot.
With this, I could judge that Kei's dependence on me had reached its peak at the moment.
Even if she was forced to take unspeakable actions she would most likely carry them out.
I didn't end the relationship here.
That was because, even if I cut off Kei at this moment, it wouldn't lead to a fundamental solution.
"Kiyotaka?"
As I was lost in thought, Kei looked up at me with her puzzled, moist eyes.
"You're staying tonight, right?"
With a beaming smile, Kei wrapped herself around my arm.
"Ah, I thought maybe... I wasn't any good anymore...!"
"Will you accept me?"
"Of course, isn't it obvious...?"
With the necklace still in her hand, tears welled up in Kei's eyes and began to overflow.
"So, it's really okay to… go back to the way things were?"
"Yes, back to the way things were."
"It's really, really okay to trust you, right?"
"You can trust me."
To Kei, who repeatedly sought confirmation, I embraced her and conveyed my unwavering answer.
"I'm so glad! I'm so glad!"
"We couldn't celebrate Christmas together, but let's definitely spend your birthday together."
"Yes, yes!"
Kei's birthday was March 8th.
If things went smoothly, it would be before the final exams.
Nothing would change until then.
Just like before, I'd be by her side to support and protect her if she needed it.
That was the fate of a parasitized host.
She put on the necklace and shyly wrapped her arms around me.
"It's been a while… hasn't it?"
"It has. Where do you want to go?"
"Anywhere is fine. As long as I'm with you, anywhere is fine."
There was nothing more she could wish for. She answered like that and drew her body closer to mine.
"From today on, can I come to your room again?"
"It's more difficult to find a reason to refuse."
"How about taking a bath? Can I join you?"
"Of course."
"Hehehehe."
After she happily relaxed her cheeks, she wiped the tears overflowing from the corner of her eyes with the tip of her fingers.
The restoration of my relationship with her.
It was a joyful action.
Yet, why did my heart not even twitch?
Shouldn't I be more overjoyed, trembling and rejoicing together?
I don't know.
"I'm glad we made up."Fabricated words.
With those words, Kei felt joy and happiness.
There was no sadness in not knowing such feelings.
If I didn't understand, I could repeatedly try until I did.
If it didn't work with Kei, I'd try with someone else.
By having more relationships, eventually, I'd be able to learn about love.
I might come across myself abandoned and crying in pain.
Desire arose.
An endless curiosity pushed me on.
This was what it meant not to know.
There was still infinite room for learning.
"Would you like to go to karaoke after so long?"
For now, I should continue to focus on building a relationship with Kei.
To avoid making her uneasy again due to the silence, I suggested that."Wow, it's rare for you to suggest karaoke."
Looking back, I went to karaoke quite often, but I rarely thought about voluntarily singing, so as she said, it might've been rare.
"Recently, I've been hearing more hit songs on TV."
Kei was a good way for me to check whether or not I was good enough to go out with other students for future karaoke sessions without embarrassing myself.
She raised her hand to show her agreement and answered with a smile, so the two of us started walking.
On the way, I noticed a vending machine in the break area.
Maybe even today, Yamamura was sitting between those vending machines.
"...What's wrong?"
When I stopped my feet, she tilted her head and looked at the vending machines, following my gaze.
"Are you thirsty?"
"That's not it."
I wondered what Yamamura was told after reporting to Sakayanagi.
Was she relieved of her duty, or was she watching someone else unrelated to Ryūen?
"Oh, right. Can I contact Maya-chan?"
I consented, and to avoid sending messages while walking, I sat her down on a nearby bench.
"You want to sit next to me?"
"No, I'm going to take a look at the vending machine. There might be new interesting products."
"Got it!"
Kei happily swayed her body as she began chatting with Satō. It seemed like she was reporting that we had made up and thanked her again. In the meantime, I decided to head toward the vending machines in the back. Even though I thought it was unlikely that she'd be there, I still wanted to make sure.
When I peeked between the vending machines...
"Wha!?"
Unexpectedly... she was there. It was the same scene as before—she was sitting down and holding a plastic bottle in her hand. The only difference was a partially filled eco-bag placed on the ground.
"Here we meet again. Are you always here?"
"Not always... just sometimes," she replied, glancing away guiltily.
"What's that?"
"Uh? Ah, this? This is a hand towel I bought as a reward for myself."
"A reward?"
"...Please don't worry about it. You seem to have made up with Karuizawasan."
"Did you overhear that?"
"Yes. I'm good at catching such things."
She was being vague, but she meant that she was good at eavesdropping.
"I think you should leave soon. Even if it looks like you're excited about a new product, it feels a little strange when you think over it calmly."It seemed like she had picked up on the entire conversation.
I wanted to ask her about Sakayanagi's reaction, but it was related to the class situation, so she wouldn't easily answer me. On the contrary, even if I asked, I might cause her more trouble.
"See you later."
"...Yes."
I left the area since it might've made it seem like I was talking to a vending machine. When I returned to the bench, just in time, Kei seemed to have wrapped up her conversation with Satō. It turned out to be the right decision to end the conversation sooner.
"Did something happen?"
"Nothing really. Let's go."
"Alright!"
Kei stood up energetically and approached me again, linking her arm with mine.
Kei's mood had returned to normal to an unbelievable extent. It felt as if her dependency had increased even more than before.
She wanted to be together during meals, baths, and even when sleeping.
Her strong desire not to let go of me, even for a moment, was conveyed through our intertwining fingers.
Parasites burrowed deep, deep inside, to the point where they couldn't escape on their own.
Without fear of being absorbed, they ventured forth.
Thus, within the year, my relationship had grown even beyond what it was before, and we welcomed New Year as lovers.
On a side note, the image of her happily humming while leaving the room to join the New Year's gathering with her friends was still burned into my memory.
1
On my days off, I go to Keyaki Mall. Perhaps with friends, my lover, or alone.
The facility was packed with the only source of entertainment in our school lives and provided endless fun without growing tiresome, but it tended to consume one's private points.
Keeping a membership to the gym and only commuting between it and the dormitory would've been efficient, but that wasn't possible.
Eating out with somebody, going to karaoke, or even impulsively picking up attractive items—the battle against temptation continued.
Therefore, sometimes I wanted to spend time without using any private points.
Staying cooped up in my room was an option, but I wanted to reserve that for difficult situations.
With such reasoning, there weren't many options left.
Putting on my uniform for the first time in ten days, I left the dormitory.
I headed to school during my winter break; my goal was the library.
Shortly before winter break, I was on my way towards the bookstore when a person's back briefly caught my attention.
That was the reason why I decided to go to the library. I didn't know whether or not she was there now.
While the school was closed for three days, it reopened today, January 4th.
Despite it being earlier than 11 a.m., I wasn't the only one headed to school; there were also students sweating during their club activities.
Setting foot inside the campus, I heard students' energetic voices coming out of nowhere.
On the way to the library, I encountered Sakagami-sensei.
"Happy New Year," I told him while nodding, as ignoring him completely would've been impossible.
"Ah, Happy New Year to you too," came a greeting from Sakagami-sensei. He greeted me even though he may have felt a slight sense of awkwardness towards me since I wasn't taking part in any club activities.
He tried to pass by, but then he called out from behind.
"You seem to have improved your academic ability quite a bit lately. But while you've made progress, Sudō-kun's growth in particular has been truly remarkable."
"That's true. Sudō has been working really hard,"
"He's shown an incredible growth rate since he enrolled. He was constantly causing troublesome incidents before. Among the staff, he's now a great topic of conversation," he added.
It was excellent news. Since Sudō had stood out for his bad behavior, he was probably always under the teachers' watchful eyes.
But why did he bring it up now?
"Now from Class D to Class B, you're even on the verge of reaching Class
A."
Sakagami-sensei gently touched the edge of his glasses.
Since the first time I recognized him as Ryūen's homeroom teacher, the atmosphere around him had somehow changed.
The behavior that others found repulsive had become less pronounced than before.
I didn't think it was like that during the uninhabited island exam in the summer...
Chabashira-sensei, along with Mashima-sensei and Hoshinomiya-sensei, often had opportunities to talk. Perhaps because they were of the same year.
On the other hand, I hardly had any contact with Sakagami-sensei, so maybe my impression of him had changed due to the long absence.
"To be honest, I didn't expect your class to grow this much," Sakagamisensei said—a compliment that seemed genuine.
Immediately after that, Sakagami-sensei's gaze sharpened behind the lenses of his glasses.
"Was it you who changed the class known as 'defective'?"
"No way. I haven't done anything special. Isn't it the result of the whole class, starting with our leader Horikita, working hard?"
Although I entered with a greater denial rather than modesty, it was unclear how much it resonated with Sakagami-sensei.
The three homeroom teachers that belonged to the same year knew to some extent that I was a student from a special environment.
It wouldn't be strange if Sakagami-sensei shared that knowledge, and even if he didn't, it wouldn't be surprising if he understood it from the atmosphere or his intuition.
"Certainly, things like Sudō-kun's attitude and achievements in studying can't be forced... Well, that's fine. Regardless of individual abilities, if the class is really gaining power, you'll have to cooperate sooner or later, whether you like it or not."
I guess I'll have to show my abilities when that time comes.
"Are you going to the library now?"
"You guessed it."
"At this time, there are limited places that non-club students can enter.
Besides, I know that you're a student who frequently goes to the library."
Certainly, I visited the library quite often, but I wasn't aware that Sakagamisensei knew about it.
I'd never seen Sakagami-sensei at the library before. If so, I'd have to think about how he indirectly knew.
"Can teachers view the students' lending history?"
"Lending history? Only the librarian can do that. It would be a violation of privacy if a teacher arbitrarily viewed it."
"Then how did you know that I was a student who goes to the library?"
"That… you might find out when you go to the library. I have a staff meeting for the third term now, so please excuse me."
Sakagami-sensei, who seemed to have avoided directly answering, said that and walked away.
The words' implications bothered me, but I couldn't stop the retreating teacher, so I went to the library as planned.
When I opened the door and stepped inside, the room was engulfed in silence.
Originally, this place was supposed to be quiet, but it was different when people were present.
A complete silence spread where no one was present.
There was no sign of the librarian, who was often seated at the reception desk.
Is she away from her seat on some errand?
The door wasn't locked, so I didn't think entering was a problem, but I was a little hesitant.
I thought about waiting at the entrance for a while, but she'd come back eventually.
Without any particular thought, I bowed slightly in the empty space and started browsing the books.
I didn't know what I wanted to read or borrow yet; if I picked something up and it felt right, I'd go for it.
"Happy New Year, Ayanokōji-kun."
As I was browsing for a book to borrow, I heard a voice from the other side of the bookshelf.
I went around to see who it was, but it seemed that the other person was trying to do the same, so we ended up passing each other. However, I caught a glimpse of their side profile.
And then, realizing that we had switched places, they hurried back.
"I went the wrong way, huh?"
"Seems so."
It was Hiyori Shiina, who I hadn't seen in a while since chatting with her at the school festival.
She used to be in and out of the library quite frequently—a true bookworm—but she had disappeared for some time.
I heard that she was back to her old routine recently, and it seemed that was indeed the case.
"Happy New Year. It's been a while since we last met in the library."
"Yes, it has. Have you been well?"
"I have. And you?"
"I caught a cold at the end of the year. Fortunately, it wasn't the flu that's been going around, so I recovered after a couple of days."
We briefly shared updates about our lives before moving on to talk about books.
"Since we're here, if it's not a bother, I might borrow one of your recommendations."
"Really? That makes me happy."
Though there was no advantage in choosing someone else's book to read, she gladly accepted.
"I know that there's a reason you choose the books you do, so I'm sure it'll be good."
"Then please allow me to guide your choice."
Far from being bothered by my one-sided request, she happily clasped her hands together.
"First off, what kind of genre are you in the mood for?"
"Well, I've been spacing out a lot during the holidays, so maybe a mystery to get my brain going?"
"A mystery it is."
Without showing any signs of distress, Hiyori began to walk, gesturing for me to follow.
It seemed she had a firm grasp on that particular genre as well.
"Have you read 'The Glass Key'?"
She quickly picked out a book and asked me so as we walked through the library together.
Dashiell Hammett, huh? It's a masterpiece that's been selected as one of the top 100 best detective novels of all time.
"Unfortunately, I read that about two years ago."
"Not unfortunate at all, but rather impressive. It'll be more challenging to find something for you."
Saying that, she continued to recommend classic mystery novels from the past.
I could see Hiyori's approach of starting with more famous works.
"By the way… this isn't related to mystery novels… but have you read any of Kaminai Tsushi's works?"
"Kaminai Tsushi? No, I don't recognize the author's name, so I probably haven't read it."
Though I was relatively knowledgeable about books, there were still far more authors I didn't know than those I did.
But if I read a book, I would at least remember the author's name.
"It can't be helped. It's a completely unknown author, and they've never sold anything back then or now."
Hiyori laughed somewhat amusingly as she answered.
I wondered if she might've recommended them to me too, but after confirming it, the conversation went back to mystery novels without her bringing it up again.
"Have you read 'The Secret of the Two-Wheeled Carriage'? It's Fergus
Hume's debut work."
"I haven't read it."
"Well, no one's borrowing it right now, so it might be a good opportunity to do so."
After picking out three more books, including the one with Hiyori's help, we moved to the front desk where the librarian had returned.
We exchanged New Year's greetings, and Hiyori swiftly checked out the books.
"If you'd like, please come visit again, Ayanokōji-kun."
"I think I'll come by a few more times before the third term starts. Hiyori, you're staying in the library, right?"
"There's not much else to do since we have so many days off."
"Don't you go to Keyaki Mall with friends or something?"
"Not really."
As I recalled, I hadn't seen Hiyori hanging out with friends during our regular school life. Of course, I'd seen her interacting with classmates for various reasons, but...
It was possible that she might've had fewer friends than I thought.
Ryūen's class seemed to have many students who weren't particularly fond of literature.
Hiyori waved her hand and even went out of her way to close the door to the library for me.
2
Back in the hallway, Hiyori hurriedly followed after me.
Although it was a short distance, she was still slightly out of breath.
"Here—"
After catching her breath, Hiyori showed me a paper bag.
It could be inferred that it contained a book from its shape.
However, it probably wasn't from the library.
Hiyori took out the book with her slender fingers and held it out to me.
"This is one of my favorite books. Would you mind reading it if you have the chance?"
There was a book cover on it, but I had an idea of what it was.
"Is this, by any chance, the author you mentioned earlier?"
"I guess it's easy to figure out, huh?"
A book by an unknown author introduced out of the blue, disregarding genre.
Considering the situation, it was relatively easy to guess.
"In the case that you had already read it, I didn't think I could've easily given it to you as a present."
There was a difference in how much joy an unread book versus an already read one could bring as a present, after all.
The statement must have been made with such considerations in mind.
"If you only want to read it, you can borrow it from the library. But if it's a work I really like or one I'm particularly fond of, I want to have it on hand."
"So you went out of your way to buy it with your own money."
"Also... this book isn't available in the library."That meant it wasn't even possible to borrow it.
I could ask the librarian to get it, but looking at Hiyori's situation, I could tell that this book wasn't something that would appeal to everyone.
Perhaps she personally liked it but didn't think it was worth promoting.
"Are you sure I can have it?"
Even for just one book, this kind of paperback wasn't a cheap purchase for a student.
"Yes. Actually, this is the third time I've bought this book. The first time was when I was in junior high, and I still have it in my room. The second one was when I entered this school."
And the third one was bought to be a gift for me.
"I think I understand your tastes pretty well, so I'm confident that you'll be happy with it."
"I feel bad making you go through the trouble."
I couldn't keep her holding it out forever, so I took it with my hands.
But then a little question arose.
"Did you perhaps carry this around with you until you met me?"I asked since I hadn't told her that I'd be here today.
"I would've come right away if you had just told me."
"Well, yes. But... it's only been a few days, so it's not a big deal."
"Well then… see you later."
I wondered if the somewhat reluctant look on her face was just my imagination.
3
I saw Hiyori returning to the library and headed to the entrance to leave the school.
Perhaps because it was lunchtime, I could see some club members here and there.
As I arrived at the entrance, I spotted two classmates deeply engaged in conversation.
"Hey, Ayanokōji? Why are you at school?"
The first to notice me was Sudō, still wearing his basketball gear.
On the other hand, Yōsuke was putting on the sleeves of his soccer uniform.
"Happy New Year. I just ran into Sudō-kun by chance. We were talking about eating lunch together."
"This is an unusual pairing."
"Really? Our combo is quite common lately, isn't it?"
"Yeah."
I didn't think they were originally close friends, but it seemed they've become close enough to have lunch together. Maybe Sudō's growth brought him more in tune with Yōsuke.
"But is it okay for us to have lunch without Onodera-san?"
"It seems like she's had a cold since yesterday, so she'll be taking the day off from club activities."
Moreover, it appeared that not only the two of them, but Onodera also participated in this routine.
It was a relationship only possible for students in club activities.
"Kiyotaka-kun, are you coming back from the library?"
Looking at the few books in my hand, Yōsuke asked as he seemed to have associated them with the library.
After confirming, we naturally started walking towards the convenience store under Sudō's lead.
"It seems like the cafeteria is closed during winter break, huh?"
"Yeah, we usually either bring food from home or buy it from the convenience store."
Apparently, after purchasing food, they'd head back to school to eat it.
While they often ate outside on a bench during spring and fall, it wasn't preferable at this time of the year.
However, after listening to their conversation, it seemed there were a few places like a heated cafeteria available so that the club members wouldn't have trouble finding a place to eat.
"Speaking of which, it's been snowing intermittently, hasn't it?"
"It's annoying. The weather's been unstable for about two weeks now, right?"
"When it's this cold, our bodies don't move well either, so I hope it warms up soon."
Conversations continued that were specific to their club activities, which I, as a non-member, couldn't participate in.
However, I wasn't alienated. I simply listened to this pair converse naturally.
It was comforting.
"By the way, Kiyotaka-kun, is everything alright with the Karuizawa-san matter? It seems like you're having a hard time."
"Impressive. So you've heard about it after all, huh?"
"I could tell something was off about her since before winter break. You'd realize it if you saw her in the classroom."
"What do you mean 'is everything alright'? Oh, did you guys finally break up?"
Sudō cut right into the conversation, making Yōsuke chuckle. But Yōsuke assumed it was incorrect, so he quickly rejected the notion.
"I don't think that's what happened. It's just that there might be some trouble going on?"
It seemed that even Yōsuke's information only went up until the time around Christmas.
"The problem has already been resolved. It has been normal since the end of the year."
"Oh, that's good to hear."
"Yeah, you didn't break up, huh?"
Sudō seemed disappointed while folding his hands behind his head.
"Were you hoping they would break up?"
"No, it's not like that. It was just a joke. I'm still jealous because I don't have a girlfriend. Sorry about that."
He denied the remark—one that seemed to celebrate others' misfortune— and apologized.
Spring hadn't come for Sudō yet, but there were signs that it was approaching.
"No progress with Onodera?"
"Hey, don't say unnecessary things. You'll make Hirata misunderstand."
As soon as her name was mentioned, Sudō panicked, but Yōsuke just watched him with a warm gaze.
"I think Yōsuke probably understands."
"...Seriously?"
He thought Yōsuke hadn't noticed the subtle relationship at all.
"I know Onodera-san has been paying attention to you for a while now."He was more sensitive to his classmates' gaze and actions than most people.
It wasn't surprising that he was aware of it, but he probably wouldn't say anything unnecessary.
"So, what about it?"
"Well... Onodera and I are just friends."
He pursed his lips and denied it as if he hadn't developed romantic feelings for her yet, or perhaps it had just started to bud.
I wondered if he still had lingering feelings for Horikita, but it didn't seem like it was a major issue.
At any rate, he continued to behave as if he wouldn't take advantage of Onodera's feelings for him.
After stopping by the convenience store, the three of us returned to the school, feeling the cold on our skin.
When we headed to the cafeteria, it was quite crowded with upper and lower classmen alike, and we saw many students belonging to clubs.
Even those who didn't participate in clubs like me could enter, so there were probably students who came just to have lunch with friends.
As our kōhais entered the cafeteria, they occasionally greeted Sudō and Yōsuke.
"You two really feel like senpais now, huh?"
"We're already getting close to the end of our second year. Once the third term is over, we'll be in our third year. It doesn't really feel like it though."
Sudō bit into his rice ball. The salmon peeked out from between the seaweed and white rice.
"Something strange happened the other day. A girl in our same year asked me a lot of weird questions."
Muttering, Sudō seemed to remember something.
"Weird questions like?"
"Stuff like when did I start studying and why I haven't studied until now.
She seemed to want to know the reason for my academic improvement in the OAA."
"You have the highest growth rate in academics, after all. She must've been curious about it."
Even for us, who were in the same class, it was quite a sight.
It must've felt like seeing some kind of magic for the other classes.
"Wouldn't you have been fine with a barrage of questions from a girl?"
"Well, not really. She was cute on the outside, but she was constantly very combative and stuck-up. All I wanted was for her to let me go before my club activities started."
It didn't seem like there was much hope for a new romance."By the way, who was that?"
"I don't remember... It's not like I know every girl's name."
Sudō, who had stuffed the entire rice ball into his mouth in about three bites, answered while chewing.
"Just in case, do you want to check who it was? We might meet her again."
Waving his hand dismissively, Sudō denied Yōsuke, who was probably about to open his phone to check the OAA.
"It's fine. If it was a girl who liked me, it would be a different story, but there's no way that was it."
Sudō didn't even seem to want to remember the name, as the whole experience was quite painful for him.
"You're starting to attract attention for something other than your athletic ability."
"If that means they're scared of me, I don't mind," he said.
Without being arrogant, Sudō clenched his fist and gathered his fighting spirit.
"I'm just getting started."
He seemed unsatisfied with the present situation and determined to surprise those around him even more.
4
"I need to piss."
He finished the water in his paper cup, stood up, put his hands in both pockets, and left his seat.
Watching Sudō leave, Yōsuke began to talk about recent events.
"I've heard from the first-year basketball team members, regardless of gender, that although he's strict, he's admired as a very caring senpai. When he joined the team last year, his goal was just to improve his own skills, so the thirdyears are quite surprised at the change."
Yōsuke, who has a wide range of acquaintances, seemed to know the unseen side of Sudō as well.
"With his basketball skills and academic success, girls won't be able to leave him alone."
"Just between us, I've even been asked by a female kōhai for Sudō-kun's contact information."
"Wouldn't Sudō be crying tears of joy over that?"
Being popular with girls was supposed to be one of Sudō's lifelong ambitions. However, Yōsuke showed a slightly bitter and complicated smile.
"When I asked him for permission just in case, he told me to refuse because they must be making fun of him. He didn't seem to care at all."
It seemed that Sudō hadn't noticed that he was beginning to become more popular, including with Onodera. Having no such experiences before, he most likely couldn't feel it.
"Spring may arrive for him a little later then."
"It might."
As Yōsuke smiled at this situation, he looked down at the book I was holding.
"I was a little curious, but there's only one with a book cover, right?"
Because the library-issued books may have had transparent protective films on them, this one book clearly stood out. That fact seemed to bother Yōsuke a bit.
"This was given to me earlier. There's a girl named Shiina Hiyori in Ryūen's class, right?"
"Yeah. Now that you mention it, I've seen her with you a few times... She gave it to you?"
"She recommended it, saying it was interesting, and our shared love of books made our tastes align."
"Is that so..."
Yōsuke, who had been calm throughout, furrowed his brow slightly, showing a hint of dissatisfaction.
"What's wrong?"
"No, it's nothing."
Although Yōsuke answered this way, he couldn't help but keep a somewhat troubled expression. Our conversation abruptly stopped, leaving a silence. I thought about changing the subject.
"Speaking of clubs, how long do you typically continue them? As a third year, you've got to think about entrance exams, right?"
Yōsuke answered, slightly perplexed by the irrelevant question.
"Well, there's no specific date, but I think many people quit around June. If they need to focus on their studies, that's what I'd expect. But if they prioritize their club activities, some continue until summer or later."
I knew that deciding whether to go on to college and how much time to set aside for exams depended on those factors, but June seemed earlier than I had expected.
"What about you, Yōsuke? Have you thought about it?"
"I'm not sure. There's no guarantee that I can graduate from Class A, and I think my parents want me to go to college. So, after confirming that, I think it'll be around June."
In this school, it was basically impossible to communicate with those who lived off-campus. However, there were some exceptions.
One of these exceptions was regarding further education or employment.
Even when it came to further education, there were many factors that students alone couldn't decide. Such as which university to attend, whether to go to a vocational school, and how to cover the costs.
Most students would want to consult their parents when it came to finding a job.
In such cases, discussions about further education were held under the school's supervision.
As a student who didn't wish to pursue higher education, this system and rule didn't apply to me, but for those who wanted to, it was an inevitable part of the process.
However, this system could only be used after the third term of the second year.
The reason was that, by deciding on a desired school, it was possible to avoid unnecessary studying in the third year and beyond.
By deciding the level of the university and the department for the exam, you could set a goal.
If there was a high-level university a student aspired to attend, the announcement of acceptance for the general entrance exam was from February to March, before graduating from this school.
The question then was, would they graduate from Class A?
This school had the power to fulfill the wishes of those who graduated from Class A. Should they decide to go to college, the school could change the result for those who failed to get into their desired university.
However, this was only for being accepted, and whether or not a student could advance to graduation was left up to that individual's ability.
To put it bluntly, a student with middle school level academic ability would not be able to advance properly even if they entered the University of Tokyo.
There were problems post entering the university, but this was just an easyto-understand example.
There was also the possibility of graduating from Class A and being accepted on your own, without the school overturning the result.
In that case, there were some things the school could provide, but there were two main benefits.
One was to cover the university expenses.
This was for those who had the ability to pass the entrance exam but couldn't afford the tuition.
This benefit could be used if you wanted to go to university but didn't want to, or couldn't, take out loans.
However, it only covered tuition, not living expenses, and only during the standard four-year period until graduation.
It was impossible to ask for additional payments if you took a year off.
The other option was post-graduation. It was still possible to leverage graduating from Class A.
In other words, you could use a strategy that didn't rely on the Class A privileges for college.
In extreme cases, you could use the privileges after graduating from a lowlevel university. You could forcibly slide into a top-notch company where graduating from college was a prerequisite.
However, that was just getting a job. Whether you could acquire the skills to work at that company was another question.
Most importantly, it was a tightrope walk.
No matter how much ANHS provided, if you couldn't pass with a 1% fail rate, you'd be left with regrets.
"Ayanokōji-kun, are you going to college?"
"I don't know. I haven't decided on my career path yet. It may seem late, but I might go to college, or I might find a job. It's something only God knows."
"You don't need to rush. I believe you can handle most things well."
It was nice to be appreciated like that, but unfortunately, I didn't have any options.
While talking about our career paths, there was something unusual about Yōsuke.
Then, after our conversation paused for a moment, Yōsuke brought it up.
"...Are you close with Shiina-san?"
It seemed that his concerns hadn't gone away, even though we had dropped the conversation once.
"Hiyori? I'm not sure. We might be close as fellow book lovers at least.
Anything bothering you about her?"
When I asked directly, Yōsuke finally revealed what had been bothering him.
"I noticed you calling her by her first name, Ayanokōji-kun, so I was curious. It's the first time I've heard you do that with someone outside our class."It was indeed a rare case.
"Since when?"
"Since when? I'm not really sure. I don't have a clear recollection of it."
I realized I had been calling Hiyori by her first name without even realizing
it.
Thinking back, it seemed that I had been calling her that since shortly after we first met.
However, in everyday life, the brain couldn't grasp a specific time.
"There wasn't really a big trigger, huh?"
"That's right. There wasn't really any deep reason. I guess I just started calling her that without really noticing."
"I see..."
"Is that a problem?"
"No, it's not really a problem, you know. Generally, it's a good thing that you have a lot of close friends."
Generally. In other words, it's different when it's outside that general understanding.
However, Yōsuke didn't try to continue that conversation any longer, so I didn't push it either.
We both quietly waited for Sudō to return.
5
Sudō and Yōsuke, who both worked hard during their club activities since the beginning of their first year, continued to achieve results.
The flow of time was mysterious. Those two will have retired from their club activities by this season next year.
I remembered a little of the conversation I had with Kiryūin at the end of the year.
Throughout my school life, there were no major regrets. However, sometimes I wondered about an alternative future if I had been in a club.
Regardless of whether I was serious or not, if I had worked together with those who shared my passion for basketball or soccer, my school life might've been more glamorous.
Though it was easy to imagine, the probability of actually embarking on that path must've been close to zero.
Unfamiliar with socializing, the world of club activities was too high of a hurdle for me, who couldn't make friends quickly.
I'll read the books I borrowed and the ones Hiyori gave me on the way home.
As I was on my way home from school, I was interrupted.
"Please wait."
"Hm?"
I was stopped by a female student, with a polite but forceful voice.
Turning around, she was standing there, her long scarf waving slightly in the wind.
"I have something to talk to you about."
Normally, one would be puzzled when approached by someone they had no connection with.
In fact, I encountered such a situation several times last year.
I couldn't help but appreciate Nagumo's invention of the OAA system in times like these.
It was easier to match names to faces, and you could also learn their surfacelevel abilities.
The person who appeared in front of me was a student from Class 2-A, which Sakayanagi belonged to.
Her name was Morishita Ai. The OAA was as follows:
Academic Abilities – B+
Physical Abilities – C+
Adaptability – B+
Social Contribution – B
Overall Ability – B
In other words, she was a so-called "honors student" with an easy-tounderstand description. The data showed that she was a person who could handle everything better than average. She was similar to Sanada, whom I met the other day, but there were many students like him in class A.
"You're Ayanokōji Kiyotaka, right?"
"Yeah."
Morishita, who approached me, seemed to be aware of me, which was understandable.
Huh? Did she just call me by my full name without any honorifics? I don't mind being referred to without any respect by younger or older people, but it was a bit surprising considering her polite tone of voice.
Before I could say anything, Morishita continued.
"It's too conspicuous here. Let's change the place a bit."
The school, the dormitory, Keyaki Mall… passing through these places to go anywhere stands out. If there was someone looking for you, it would be an optimal place for an ambush.
"Let's go somewhere else, please."
Without waiting for my answer, Morishita turned her back to me and began walking.
I hadn't intended to say whether I would follow her or not, but I guess that was fine.
It was winter break, and I had enough time to leisurely enjoy such unexpected encounters.
"This is our first meeting, right?"
"Yes. We haven't spoken before."
Morishita, who answered without looking back, was polite in her speech but somewhat overbearing.
She turned away from the main road, towards the dormitory, and stopped at a side street. This area was deserted, probably due to the cold weather.
"So? What do you want to talk about?"
I wondered what kind of story would pop up early in the new year.
"I haven't decided."
"You haven't decided?"
As concerned as I was about listening to her story, her answer made the whole situation feel somewhat anticlimactic.
"I haven't decided on the content of the conversation, but I've been wanting to talk to you for some time now, Ayanokōji Kiyotaka."
...So it wasn't just my imagination after all. She called me by my full name and dropped the honorifics.
But the rest of her speech was polite, which made her assertiveness stand out even more.
I didn't know if this was just for me or if she was the same with other students, but it was hard to point that out. I'll try to ignore it from here.
Recently, it seemed like I had a strange connection with students from other classes.
"Is it strange that I approached you?"
"Well, yeah. I haven't had any contact with you before."
"That's true."
"Moreover, when it's from the opposite sex, various strange assumptions can be made."
I deliberately made a statement that hinted at romance to see what kind of reaction she would show.
I thought she might become agitated, but she was calm, showing only a small sign of distress.
She quickly determined the direction she wanted to take and began to speak."This isn't the first time I've approached someone I'm not close with.""Huh?"
"The day before yesterday, I talked to Sudō Ken, and yesterday, I talked to
Kōenji Rokusuke."
'Don't get me wrong,' she seemed to say, as she held out her hand, palm up, to me.
"I learned that talking one-on-one with someone of the opposite sex can lead to misunderstandings, so I thought I'd let you know."
She put it into words, which allowed me to clearly rule it out. I was grateful for that.
I also learned that I wasn't the only one being called by my full name without honorifics.
However, the mention of Sudō's name fit the conversation earlier.
'A girl from the same year asked me all sorts of weird questions,' said the puzzled Sudō. She was probably Morishita of Class A.
While her appearance was certainly cute, I could easily understand why she had denied any involvement in romance.
Her gaze, clearly directed at me, was different.
"During this winter break, I was driven by the desire to learn more about your class."
In simpler terms, perhaps she wanted to scout a rival class.
How should I judge her attitude, which seemingly had no intentions of hiding anything?
It was hard to believe they were Sakayanagi's instructions.
Even if they were approaching students like Sudō, there would be no merit in sending an oddball like Morishita to me.
Or was the idea to send someone with a quirky personality like her?
I considered various possibilities, but the conclusion I reached was different.
Morishita's own judgment, her own thoughts.
That seemed to be the most accurate conclusion for now.
"Kōenji Rokusuke asked as well, so I'll let you know. This is all my own decision."
Immediately after, Morishita added that it was indeed her own judgment.
"I see. I thought all the students in Class A worked under Sakayanagi's instructions alone."
For now, I decided to trust Morishita's words and proceeded with the conversation.
"I can't say for certain. I haven't shared my thoughts with anyone else."Using a peculiar expression, Morishita continued the conversation.
"Though it's true that many students in Class A are on guard against Class B, just like how your class, led by yourself, has been aiming to take down Class A. I found that interesting."
"Class B's evaluation has risen quite a bit. If you really want to dig for more information, shouldn't you contact the leader, Horikita? I can give you her contact details if you need them."
I took out my phone and pulled up Horikita's address.
However, Morishita rejected it with her hand and began to speak, looking in an unclear direction.
"At first, I thought so too. However, the evaluations of those around me have changed. Now there are people who think you are involved in the improvement of Class B."
So, she acted alone and approached me.
"A student who deviates from their OAA stands out."
The special exam held at the end of the second term had a significant impact since the accuracy of the test's answered questions was made public. Sanada and this highly capable Morishita had their eyes newly opened to me.
Comparing the results to my OAA, the contradiction was obvious and couldn't be ignored.
Even if I told her that I had guessed the correct answers, she probably wouldn't believe me.
If this contact was instructed by Sakayanagi, it felt too sloppy, too rough, and too narrowly focused.
"So? Have you gotten any results by directly confronting? Is there something I should answer?"
I tried to show a welcoming stance to her confrontation, but she refused with her hand again.
"There's been some results. You are indeed a considerable threat, Ayanokōji
Kiyotaka."
"...Did you find something that made you think so?"
"Based on my analysis, yes."
Apparently quite satisfied at this point, Morishita nodded contentedly.
My first impression of her was that she was somewhat of a 'weirdo.'"I'll excuse myself. There are still many people to investigate."It seemed that there were many intriguing people in Horikita's class.
"Alright, good luck."
She must have approached Sudō and the others similarly.
Although I hadn't seen the scene, I could easily imagine it.
Morishita returned to the dormitory, but it would be troublesome if I chased after her and caused a misunderstanding.
I decided to breathe in the cold air for a while and go home after some time had passed.
6
After returning home, I immediately picked up the book I brought home with my chilled hands.
Which one should I read first...?
After thinking for a moment, I decided it would probably be best to start with the book Hiyori gifted me, as we might discuss it when I visit the library in the following days.
The book itself wasn't very old, having been published about 15 years ago.
I was curious about why Hiyori liked it, so I looked up the author's background, but it seemed to be a relatively unknown author with a devoted following for their interesting works.
It might've been a hidden masterpiece that Hiyori, a book lover, noticed.
She liked it enough to want to keep a copy for herself.
A new book was released every three years or so.
If it suited my taste, I'd try reading another one next time.
"Hmm...?"
As I was about to start reading, I noticed a bookmark had been included.
While that in of itself wasn't a big deal, the pattern on the bookmark piqued my interest.
When shopping at Keyaki Mall, sometimes you could get free bookmarks during campaigns, with limited illustrations or patterns depending on the time of year.
The bookmark I picked up featured a Christmas theme with a fir tree and snow.
It was the same one that came with the books I bought at the bookstore before Christmas.
Considering they changed the bookmarks right after Christmas, it was likely that the book was purchased before then.
If I had been making her carry it every day since then, I would feel sorry for her.
Though she said it was only a few days ago, the actual purchase date may have been a bit earlier.
"I might have received quite a heavy favor after all."Of course, I couldn't jump to conclusions.
She may have just given it to me as a fellow book lover.
I decided not to think too deeply about it for now, but it was only natural to feel good about a gesture like that if she saw me as a close friend.
What can I do as thanks right now?
What would help Hiyori the most?
Before starting the book, I decided to ponder this, sitting on my bed.