Do you ever get a little bit tired of life?
Like you're not really happy, but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread, but you gotta survive. But why?
Like your body's in the room, but you're not really there
Like you have empathy inside, but you don't really care anymore
Like you're fresh out of love, but it's been in the air
I wonder, am I past repair?
A little bit tired of trying to care when I don't
A little bit tired of quick repairs to cope
A little bit tired of sinking, there's water in my boat
I'm barely breathing, trying to stay afloat
So, I've got these quick repairs to cope
Guess I'm just broken and broke.
It's supposed to be a beautiful morning.
I tell myself that sometimes, when it gets too loud inside.
I picture the sky, endless, weightless..
but it's just a lie I feed myself to keep breathing.
The truth is heavier.
The truth is... I'm not really anywhere.
Just floating in a cracked space inside my head, waiting for something to break.
Hi its me, 003.... again.
Another piece of Lyra no one asked for.
I don't even have my own voice...
I had to steal someone else's pain just to speak.
"Numb Little Bug."
Fits, doesn't it?
I'm just another ghost pretending not to drown. Some people say I'm dark... and sad, that's would mean the world is dark and sad.... Cos I only reflect on the world shown to me.
Goldie's punch slammed into the Echomaker, harder than anything I'd felt in a long time. I could hear it... the anger wrapped in her song. Sucks to be a vibe user, am i right? You hear everything... pain, sorrow, why don't people have songs of joy?
"Why the fuck would you let Jacob go?!" she screamed.
I caught the blow, stumbling back.
"We can't send him back! Who knows what they'll do to him?" I shot back. "And when the fuck did you start magically caring about anyone?! You don't even care about Elodie!" she threw the words like knives, fists still hitting as hard as ever.
Ahead of us, Levi and Spencer were a blur, trying to pin down Javi before he could chase Jacob. Michelle and Ralph clashed nearby, their songs growing louder, rougher, messier.
Look at us.
Scattered like the dead leaves of a dying tree. Blown apart by a wind we never stood a chance against.
Goldie's punch cracked against the Echomaker, the sound flat and heavy.
"Shut the fuck up," I said, voice dull like a worn-out drum.
"Why? Why? Why?" she threw back, swinging again. "You're straight up weird."
***
Levi's voice barely cut through the noise.
"Come on, bro... we don't wanna do this."
Spencer's answer was colder than Hitler's grave.
"You're right. We don't. Move."
***
Somewhere between the broken beats, Michelle's voice floated, soft but sharp.
"I don't really know you," she said to Ralph, blade flashing, "but do you mind? You're in my way."
Ralph's hammer hit the ground like a dying heartbeat.
"Samesies, bruv... but I can't let you go."
***
Goldie's fist missed by inches.
"I said shut the fuck up," I repeated, emptier now. Like I wasn't even in my own body.
"That bastard deserves to rot in hell!!" she screamed, eyes burning with something too raw to touch.
"Goldie!!" I shouted back, but the name barely left my mouth. It sounded wrong. Dead.
"I know it, you know it, we all know it!" she cried, striking again. "The world's better off without him!"
I caught her wrist mid-swing, our breaths fogging the space between us.
"You're so full of shit." I whispered. No anger. Just sadness. Thick as oil.
Around us, the fight unraveled like a frayed song, forgotten by everyone except the ones still bleeding.
The ground, the air, even the sky, they all felt like they had given up too.
Like fallen leaves from a dying tree.
Goldie's voice cracked the world between us. "What did you just say?". Even angrier now. Even heavier. I could feel the ground shake under her rage. But I didn't flinch.
"Yeah," I breathed. "You're so full of shit."
***
"You know I can't do that," Levi said.
"Yeah, I figured."
Spencer cocked his guns, tapped him thrice, like knocking on a closed door. "Javi go!" He screamed while levi was occupied trying to catch his bullets.
Near the splintered edge, Ralph threw a punch heavy enough to break mountains, but Michelle danced back, light on her toes, the air whispering after her.
"Not a gentleman I see" she said, her voice almost teasing.
"Levi wouldn't have done that."
Ralph grunted.
"Just shut up and scream already."
***
"The world can fuck themselves!" I spat, voice soaked in contempt. "The same world that'll tear us apart the second they find out Jamal's dead. Look at us! Our city's buried deep in a rotting forest! Why? 'Cause they branded us evil. They put us here!"
My throat burned. "And you're standing there... talking to me about the world?"
"Shut up," Goldie snapped, eyes wild. "All I want is to protect you!"
"From what?"
"Your fucking fantasy-obsessed mind!!"
She pointed at me like she was stabbing the air. "This isn't some fairy tale, Lyra. This—" she kicked the dirt under her boots — "—is the real world. It's ugly. Jacob, or whatever's inside him, won't just... magically stop killing. You're wrong, Lyra. And thinking you're right... that's dangerous."
"Labels, labels, labels," I hissed. "Right. Wrong. What the hell do you know about any of that? That whole damn concept is why we're even here. I don't care if it's wrong. Just look at him—"
"LOOK AT HIM?!"
Goldie's voice cracked, raw. "The guy that killed Camille? Turned her into a doughnut?!"
"I DON'T CARE!!"
The words tore out of me like a wound ripping open.
"DON'T FUCKING SAY THAT!"
Goldie exploded, slamming a barrage of punches into me, one after another, fists flying with grief and rage tangled in every hit.
I shoved her back, gasping. "Shut up!"
For a second, the heat in the air cracked... slowed...
We just stood there.
Goldie's voice broke the silence, softer, but somehow it cut deeper.
"I'm your best friend, Lyra... No matter how annoying you think I am... I'm just trying to look out for you."
I wiped the blood from my mouth, breathing hard.
"If you really were," I said, with an empty breath, "you'd respect my decisions instead of acting like a total bitch about it."
Her face twisted.
"Then if that's what it takes..."
A pause.
"...I don't wanna be your friend."
And just like that.... the battle reignited, hotter, heavier.