Tim groaned seeing her get distracted so quickly by something shiny. Typical teenager mentality—even with literal soul splitting happening, she got sidetracked by gadgets. Well, at least she wasn't panicking anymore. "What's your name? I will add you," she said after 10 seconds on social media. Wow, this girl was a natural multitasker. Or maybe kids today were just raised with such split focus that handling two bodies was easier for her.
"It's Lia Xian from the Flowing Water Sect."
She tapped away then squealed again! "You are famous! Half million followers!! Your brother just posted 'glad my idiot sister is alive' with a picture of you looking grumpy!" Lia felt her ring receive a message and opened it. She saw Varek's picture with an add and clicked on his profile before accepting. There he was—handsome tanned man holding a scimitar, standing on top of some dead beast, smiling proudly in golden trimmed desert robes.
Tim sighed, rubbing his forehead as Riku started fangirling over how hot her new body was. Okay, but also gross since it's technically her now. He really hoped this would be the only case of soul splitting near him. Two people dealing with it was enough headache without adding more variables into this mess already spiraling out of control fast enough on its own damn trajectory towards madness...
"Mr. Jones?" Riku asked hesitantly when he zoned out too long, staring blankly ahead processing everything.
"Yeah?"
"What do we do next?" Her voice wavered slightly despite trying to sound brave.
Good question. What did they do? Investigate further? Experiment with powers? Just… live normally while adjusting?
"For now," Tim said slowly, "we learn. We adapt. And we make sure neither of our other selves die."
Because if one half died… would the other follow? Neither wanted to find out.
For now though, class was starting soon and Lia needed rest after nearly dying yesterday plus facing Elder Cho today, so Tim sent Riku off saying they could talk more tomorrow during lunch break where nobody would overhear them easily inside crowded hallways full of noisy students drowning out any strange conversation topics discussed between teacher and pupil bonded together by cosmic fuckery beyond mortal comprehension...
Normal day at work, really.
Lia spent the afternoon meditating, trying to understand the jumbled memories of this body. Her ring vibrated as she was getting lots of messages from Varek.
Meanwhile, Tim taught his classes mechanically, thoughts drifting constantly to another world where he was far more powerful. I have to find a way to improve my current body. I wonder if qi exists here or if cultivation is possible somehow in this universe.
Riku sat in class thinking, "Thank God I am not the only one—I thought I was crazy." She had never really thought much of Tim as he was just a middle-aged English teacher. Sure, some of the college girls had crushes on him, but she was 18 and having just started college he seemed like an old man to her. Still, knowing that she shared such an intimate bond with someone else was comforting even if it was her teacher. Plus, Lia was cool as hell! The girl started sketching designs for robes based on what Lia wore in profile pictures—maybe she'd cosplay someday.
At least neither world knew true boredom anymore...
That night both Tim and Lia slept soundly, exhausted from their first day adjusting to dual existence. Riku fell asleep while Varek battled hordes of beasts as he tried to make his way back to his sect. Varek had been a top-class warrior of the younger generation, protecting the cities from the hordes of qi beasts. He had been incredibly unlucky to come across two king qi beasts of the late golden core realm fighting. It was a nearby clash that had shattered his soul. Souls weren't easily shattered, but this spiritual qi beast was strange. Shortly after, Riku's expanded soul found the soulless vessel. Now Riku had both her own body and Varek's in the cultivation world. The first beast she ran into was the size of a small car and terrified her. Shaking she drew her saber and with closed eyes swung her saber as it tore through the beast. "what" she said as it was far to easy, or this body was way overpowered for these monsters. As she cut monsters in half with her saber, she took a picture of how cool she looked and sent it to Lia.
Lia woke to her ring vibrating endlessly as messages flooded in. Apparently Riku/Varek hadn't slept at all during her night shift—dozens of blurry photos showed various slaughtered beasts alongside progressively unhinged captions:
"These guys taste like chicken!"
"Why do I have a scar here? Was I stabbed??" (attached: close-up of abdomen)
"Do you think my hair looks better up or down for murder?"
Tim groaned through Lia's mouth before responding: Go to sleep before you get your other self killed.
A reply came instantly: But murder is fun! Also I figured out how to send videos—watch this—
The attached clip showed Varek roundhouse-kicking a wolf-like creature mid-leap, slow-motion replay included.
Tim knew Japanese girls held a lot of crazy, but Riku was something special. Lia then noticed some tags with her name. Her accepting Varek's add had caused a lot of rumors. His sect was somewhat of a rival to the Flowing Water Sect. Nothing serious, but enough to make political waves. The trending topic read #sectpeace? Since when did the great northern plains warrior start friending the southern watery girl disciples?
Great—even more attention he didn't need right now while still adjusting bodies. At least most people assumed they already knew each other since their older generation had inter-guild alliances.
He got up stretching, noticing how much stronger Lia felt after just one night's rest. The qi in this world really made humans better in every way. I really need to sort my human body on Earth. He started browsing this world's web about other planets and basic cultivation techniques for qi-dead worlds. To his surprise, some had ways to generate small amounts from within if an expert guided them since childhood. This required using inner energy rather than ambient qi, which was far slower but possible. For someone who couldn't cultivate internally from birth, it was hopeless though. No mention of split souls either in any texts he found. Hmm, what advantages do I have on Earth? It was qi-dead. At least it seemed that way. Ah, what about my soul? It is huge now in both bodies. I wonder if there are any soul cultivation techniques. He opened another search for that.
Luckily he had a month's confinement, so no pressure from missions or tasks outside training and meditation. Perfect chance to research while pretending to recover properly like Elder Cho ordered...
Tim woke up and he decided he needed to better his current body. Tonight he would find a dojo. Something that was more than just martial arts. Ideally something that had a link to cultivation, even if only tenuous. After checking online and calling some places, he booked a first free lesson at Kurokawa Sensei's school tonight after work. His phone buzzed with a text from Riku.
Hey teach, meet me after class today—I have big news
Well, whatever it is, hopefully it's helpful. Right now Tim had English lessons to get through before anything else...
Riku walked into class and sat down staring at Tim. Lia got a message at the same time. "Teach, I still can't picture you in a bikini like Lia. Haha, you must make the most prude, uptight teenage girl." She sent a selfie of her male body flexing shirtless in the desert sun, showing off toned muscle definition across chest and arms while grinning roguishly at the camera lens angled perfectly downward towards... oh god, did she really just send that?! Lia replied, "Have you always been such a little terror? I always thought you were such a good girl." Lia got a reply: "Uwu" and Tim looked at Riku doing a silly face. WTF, this kid has zero filters anymore. This soul splitting has ruined my teaching career.
"Riku, can you repeat the word we were practicing?" Tim said on the counteroffensive. Her mouth dropped open as she realized everyone was looking at her now. "U-ummm"
The class giggled as she turned beet red—first time all day she'd shown any shame whatsoever regarding their situation actually being pretty damn weird when outside private conversation contexts together...
Lia then sent a short video in a pose with the peace sign saying "uwu." "Haha, teaches you to mess with the professor," he thought. Varek, while blushing, said, "Okay teach, game on" and posted the video on his social media. It instantly started going viral due to Lia having half a million followers and Varek's nearly 1 million due to popularity of battle recordings showing his sect's victories over monster hordes protecting cities...
Hundreds of comments appeared instantly:
"Since when did ice queen Lia do cute stuff??"
"Varek you lucky bastard, how'd you get her number!?"
"This is fake, right??"
Great. Just great. Now both worlds would think they were dating or something equally ridiculous. Tim sighed deeply—Riku was going to be insufferable after school today...
Lia's social media followers were exploding. The ice queen showing a cute side. It was too much. Countless imitations of her uwu were getting posted. Lia banged her palm against her head. "God forgive me, I brought uwu into this unsuspecting world." Then she saw Elder Cho had liked the post and commented "good for you, kid." Oh fuck, even elders were seeing it. She noticed 300+ friend requests incoming, mostly from male cultivators who suddenly developed interest in knowing her better now that her soft side peeked through the steely exterior image carefully cultivated over years building reputation within sect circles...
Then her brother messaged privately: What the hell lia?
Fantastic.
Meanwhile, Riku was cackling silently during class whenever checking notifications—her plan worked perfectly! Sure, maybe embarrassing Mr. Jones/Lia wasn't strictly necessary, but come ON, how could anyone resist trolling given such golden opportunities?
Tim sighed. "I thought Riku was such a good student." Lia typed to Varek: "Share any of our messages again and I will block you" followed by an angry face emoji. Varek replied with puppy dog eyes, sending another message saying "okay teach, I'll behave. But only because you're way cuter than Tim." Tim wanted to scream. He decided he would just leave this problem until later. Right now work comes first...
At lunchtime, Tim locked his classroom door behind him as Riku slipped inside carrying two bento boxes. She handed one over with a grin.
"Peace offering?"
He took it warily. "What do you want?"
She plopped onto a desk, swinging her legs. "Sooooo turns out my other self has a lot of cool stuff in his storage rings." She leaned forward conspiratorially. "Including cultivation manuals."
That got his attention. If they could translate them…
"We can't use most of it," Tim pointed out. "This world seems to have almost no qi."
Riku smirked. "Ah, but some techniques are purely mental. Soul exercises. And guess what we do have? Freakishly oversized souls."
Fair point. Though the idea of experimenting blindly with cultivation texts made him nervous. Then again… if it helped control their dual awareness…
"Fine," he said. "But we go slow. Test carefully."
She mimed zipping her lips—though given today's social media disaster, that promise meant nothing. Still, any advantage was worth pursuing now.
"Wow, this bento box is amazing," Tim said. "Did you make it?"
Now it was Riku's turn to blush. "Ah, no, our chef did."
Tim looked confused then laughed at her face. "So you're rich, huh?" Varek nodded shyly. "Yeah, parents own some big company. Wait, who makes your lunches, Mr. Jones?" Tim smiled. "Oh, I usually skip lunch or grab from the convenience store."
The girl looked horrified, immediately splitting her remaining food, pushing half toward him insistently. Old people need proper nutrition she jibed.
Her face went blank mid-rant—another message from Varek's sect brothers teasing him about Lia's video. Riku groaned. "Ughhh, now I gotta deal with two sets of stupid people..." "Huh, what was that?" Riku then did Lia's stupid uwu at him in the full pose.
"Haha, omg you even added the hand moves," he laughed, putting his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay, enough already!" But secretly glad that they could joke despite everything else happening around them right now. "Okay, but we have to be careful. I don't want people to think I am trying to seduce my student. If only they knew you in the cultivation world—24-year-old Varek being a predator on poor 19-year-old Lia ."
Riku blushed deeply before laughing hysterically alongside him, eventually calming down enough to finish eating together, discussing plans quietly under cover of normal teacher-student meeting appearances for anyone passing by outside the door occasionally...