Hmm… am I floating?
No ground beneath my feet, no sky above my head… only a black void, still, quiet to an almost terrifying degree… yet, there was a strange kind of comfort in it.
No sounds… no noise… no pain… no thoughts chasing me.
Only… stillness.
For the first time in a long while, I felt as if I weren't forced to do anything… as if the world had finally stopped demanding things of me.
How I wished… to stay like this… forever.
But—
Suddenly, a light erupted in the heart of that darkness.
A tiny point… but it was unnaturally bright, as if it were calling to me without a sound.
What is this…?
I didn't understand… but I felt an irresistible attraction.
My feet—or what felt like them—moved on their own, as if I were walking inside a dream where I lacked full will.
I approached.
One step… then another…
The light grew… becoming more radiant.
I stretched out my hand…
"Only a few meters more…"
Yes… I was close.
I touched it.
And the moment I touched that light—
I closed my eyes… for only a single second.
And when I opened them... everything stopped.
A white ceiling… familiar.
The light of a simple lamp hanging from it… emitting a faint warmth.
A comfortable bed embracing my body… in a way I hadn't felt in a long time.
I breathed slowly... then sat up.
I looked around.
A wooden table in a calm brown color… atop it a computer, scattered pens, and papers strewn about randomly… but it was a familiar randomness.
On the other side… a black bag.
Shelves carrying books I knew… or perhaps… I used to know.
A carpet beneath my feet… and a sound—
The sound of children… coming from outside.
I froze. My heart… began to beat rapidly.
No…
It can't be…
I whispered to myself, barely:
"…My room."
My room… where I used to sleep.
My room… where I spent nights awake, studying… complaining… and dreaming.
My room…
The place whose value I didn't realize… until after I lost it.
I remained sitting, motionless… staring at every detail, as if I feared it would disappear if I blinked.
Until—
"Nilot, come down from your room for lunch."
…
That voice.
My entire body stiffened.
A voice… I could not mistake. A voice… that is priceless.
"…Mom."
I felt something choking my chest.
A small tear betrayed me… and slid down my cheek, but I closed my eyes… and clenched my fist.
No…
I know.
This… isn't real.
How could it be…?
Everything I went through… was terrifyingly real.
The pain… the fatigue… the fear…
All of it was real.
So this—
"…Is just a dream."
I whispered it… as if trying to convince myself.
But despite that... I said in a trembling voice:
"I'm coming…"
I stood up, headed toward the door, and placed my hand on the handle…
The texture—
It was real.
And this… is what broke me the most.
I opened the door slowly.
One step… then another… descending the stairs until I saw her, her back turned… as she prepared the table.
My mother.
She stopped, then turned around.
And at the moment our eyes met—
The world froze.
I clenched my hand tightly… fighting… resisting… but—
"What's wrong with you, acting like you saw a ghost? Come and eat—"
I didn't let her finish. I rushed toward her and hugged her.
I hugged her… as if I feared she would disappear if I let go, with all the pain… the longing… the yearning within me.
I felt her hesitation for a moment… then—
She embraced me.
And she said in a warm, tender, familiar voice:
"This is the first time you've hugged me since you were a child… I don't know what's wrong with you… but… this feels warm."
Then she added, patting my back:
"It's okay… your mother is here now."
…
And here—
I broke down.
I couldn't hold it together; I cried.
Not ordinary tears… but the crying of a child who lost everything… and then had it suddenly returned.
"M-Mom… I-I missed you… so much…"
My voice choked.
"I-I hope… that this isn't… just a dream…"
But she only… held me tighter.
"Shhh… it's okay… everything will be fine now."
And we stayed like that… until I calmed down.
Until my breath returned, until... I returned.
We sat at the table.
I was avoiding looking at her directly… how embarrassing… how could I allow myself to collapse like that…
But she asked gently:
"It seems you had a nightmare."
I smiled a faint, weary smile:
"Yes… a nightmare… I hope it doesn't return."
She didn't ask further; she only said:
"It's okay now."
"Yeah…"
We smiled, then she said:
"I'll call your father and your siblings… I don't know who sleeps until one in the afternoon!"
I laughed.
A genuine laugh…
"…How I missed this."
But—
"Ha! Why do your eyes look like you've been crying for an hour?!"
I turned.
It was my sister.
I laughed and said:
"Look who's talking… the girl who cried over a piece of chocolate."
"How dare you?! That piece was priceless!"
I smiled, then my brother entered and said sarcastically:
"Don't tell me you cried over chocolate like her."
"Do I look that crazy to you?"
And before he could finish—
Another voice came.
Stronger… deeper… but full of tenderness:
"What happened, Nilot? Your eyes don't look well."
My father.
And before I could answer—
My mother said lightly:
"A secret between him and me~"
My father smiled.
"Alright, I won't insist."
I looked at her… and she smiled at me.
I understood. She was… protecting me from embarrassment.
…
We gathered at one table, simple food... nothing special about it.
But—
It was the most delicious thing I had tasted in my life, because… it wasn't just food, it… was home.
...
We finally finished eating…
A table that moments ago was filled with laughter, passing conversation, and those small details that go unnoticed… but are deeply missed.
I stood up quietly, then began helping my mother gather the dishes.
Simple, habitual movements… but to me, they were a treasure.
The sound of plates touching, the warmth of the water, the smell of food still lingering in the air…
All of it was enough to make me feel… alive.
"Brother!"
I turned.
My brother was standing at the door, his eyes shining with excitement.
"How about we play video games? It's been a while!"
Video games…
I paused for a moment.
Yes… it has been a very long time.
I smiled a faint smile and said:
"Fine… but don't start crying when you lose."
He raised his eyebrow confidently and said:
"Who do you think I am?"
And so… we headed off.
We sat before the screen, each of us holding a controller…
And the round began.
Then the second.
Then the third…
And as I expected—
I won.
He grumbled loudly, throwing his hands in the air:
"This is impossible! You're cheating, right?! Otherwise, how do you win three times in a row?!"
I laughed lightly and said:
"It has nothing to do with cheating… it's skill."
"Let's play again! This time I'll win!"
And before I could answer him—
"No!"
Another voice interrupted us.
It was my sister.
She stepped forward quickly, placed her hands on her waist, and said:
"You've already spent a long time with my brother; this time, I'm borrowing him."
My younger brother sighed and said sarcastically:
"And do you think he'll leave the games and go with you?"
But she didn't look at him... she fixed her eyes on me instead.
"Brother… choose."
I went silent.
"Will you stay with him… or come with me?"
I raised my hands in surrender and smiled:
"Alright, alright… I'll go with you."
"Great!"
She didn't give my brother a chance to object—
She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room quickly, as if she feared I might change my mind.
We reached the kitchen, and I turned to her and said:
"So… what do you want us to do?"
She turned toward me excitedly and said:
"It's time to cook!"
I froze for a moment… then burst out laughing:
"Me? Cook? You must be joking… the most I can do is fry an egg."
But she shook her head with a smile:
"I'm not joking."
"What?"
She took a step closer and said in a voice full of childish pleading:
"Brother… please, please~ just this once."
I sighed, then gave in.
"Fine… what are we cooking?"
Her eyes lit up:
"We're going to make a cake!"
And so... we began.
Flour scattering… sugar being poured in excess… eggs being cracked in a messy way…
Non-stop laughter.
The kitchen… did not come out unscathed.
And the cake… burnt a little.
But—
She was laughing, laughing genuinely, and that… was enough.
She sat cutting the cake, then handed me a piece. I hesitated for a moment… then took a bite.
"…Not bad."
Despite the slight burn… it was delicious.
Or perhaps—
Because it was made together.
And so… time passed, quietly, quickly.
Until—
Evening arrived.
I returned to my room, closed the door behind me… and stretched out on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
Silence.
I whispered to myself:
"So… when I wake up… all of this will disappear."
It was a strange feeling…
To know that your happiness… is temporary; to live it… while waiting for its end.
I closed my eyes for a moment…
But—
"Don't you think you're exaggerating a little?!"
I opened my eyes immediately.
A sharp, angry voice.
"…Oh."
I got up and headed toward the source of the sound.
My steps were slower this time… as if I… knew what I was going to see.
I stood at the living room door, then looked.
My mother… and my father, arguing... as usual.
"It's my mother! How does your conscience allow you to refuse giving her money?!"
"Money?! Ten thousand dollars and you call it 'money'?!"
"So what! She is suffering!"
"As if we are in a better position! We are suffering too!"
Voices rising, words sharpening.
"There is your brother! She can ask him!"
"My brother just came out of surgery a short while ago!"
"And if we give her the money?! What about our children?! What about food?! Schooling?!"
…
I stopped; I was watching in silence.
"…Even here."
Even in my dream… this didn't disappear. The same words, the same wounds, the same… harsh reality.
I smiled a pale smile.
"I just wanted… to end this dream happily."
But it seems…
That reality doesn't leave me… even in my dreams.
And suddenly—
"Nilot… Nilot!"
The voice changed.
"Wake up, Nilot!"
…
Everything cut off.
I opened my eyes—
The light was different, the air was different, and the face before me—
Cairo.
I stared at him for a moment… then placed my hand on my head.
I sighed.
"…Just as I expected."
It was only a dream.