Dove's house was warm in a way mine never quite managed to be. It didn't matter that her place was smaller than mine, or that her floors didn't shine like polished marble. It smelled like vanilla and cinnamon, and the second we stepped through the front door, she shouted, "Mum! I'm home!" like a girl in a cheesy sitcom. And for some reason, I loved that.
Her mom came out from the kitchen with her apron on, practically beaming. She wrapped Dove in a huge hug, then turned to me.
"Raven! Look at you!" she said, pulling me into a hug that smelled like cinnamon too. "It's been too long, sweetheart."
I smiled, awkward but grateful. "Yeah. It's good to see you, Mrs. Lockette."
Dove winked at me and grabbed my wrist, dragging me up the stairs like we were ten again and had secrets to hide. Her room hadn't changed much. Still bright, still full of stuffed animals and framed photos of us at every age—missing teeth, bad haircuts, awkward phases and all. Her trophies were lined up on the shelves like she was born to win at everything. Pageants, spelling bees, dance, singing, stuff I wouldn't even dare to try. She was that girl, the one who made life look like a fairytale—and somehow, she still made room for me in it.
I sat on her bed while she pulled open a drawer to show me something random. I wasn't even listening. My eyes scanned every photo on her wall. Us holding ice cream cones. Us dressed as fairies for Halloween. Us asleep on the couch, drooling. The memory that always sticks out, though, is the first one. The one I barely even remember.
I think we were five. Maybe six. I was at the playground, swinging alone. And this tiny, loud girl ran up to me and asked, "Is your name really Raven?" I nodded. "Cool! I'm Dove! We're both birds! Let's be best friends!"
I didn't say anything. Just nodded again.
And that was it. Dove decided we were best friends and, well... I never wanted to correct her. She's the only one who's ever made me feel wanted without asking anything in return. That kind of love? It changes you. And somewhere along the line, it grew into something way bigger than I ever expected.
We laughed about dumb things for a while. Stuff that didn't matter. I don't usually talk much, but around Dove, the words just show up. I only wish I could say the right ones. The ones that have been stuck in my chest for days. Weeks. Maybe longer.
Then her mom called us for dinner.
Time skip. We ate. Laughed. It was normal. Comfortable.
Back in her room, Dove pulled off her shirt like it was no big deal, wrapping a towel around herself before heading to the bathroom.
"We should shower together," she teased.
I blinked. "What?"
My brain short-circuited. Her. Me. In the same room. Wet. Naked.
I looked away fast, trying to breathe like a normal human. My heart was punching its way out of my chest. What is wrong with you, Dove? I wanted to scream. My heart can't take this.
Dove just laughed. "I'm kidding, Rave. Relax. I'll be right back."
She disappeared, and I sat on her bed trying not to think about... everything.
If I told her how I felt, would she laugh? Would she leave? Would she even believe me?
She came back not long after, skin glowing and damp, hair wrapped in a towel. She was smiling. Always smiling.
"Okay, Raven. You're up. I left you a new towel and toothbrush. And saved you some hot water."
"Thanks," I said, forcing a smile. She made everything so easy... and impossible at the same time.
I showered quickly, trying not to fall apart. Her soap. Her shampoo. I smelled like her. God help me.
When I got back, she was already in her pajamas. Strawberry print. She looked like a walking candy ad.
"Guess what?" she said, holding something behind her back.
"What?"
"We're matching!"
She held out another pair—same strawberries, same softness. I stared. She thought of everything. She always did.
"You're so cute," I said before I could stop myself. Thankfully, she didn't notice the panic in my voice.
She made me sit, and I let her. She started drying my hair with the gentlest touch.
"I've been studying how to care for your hair," she said proudly. "I know all about 4C now. Moisture is key."
I couldn't stop the smile. She didn't have to do any of that. But she did.
She tied my hair into a cute bun, then pulled out two silk bonnets. Matching. Of course.
Wait! Isn't this like a couple thing
Dove Lockette, are you doing this on purpose?
We looked at ourselves in the mirror. She shrieked, "Oh my gosh, we are twinning so hard!"
We got on the bed. I was ready to sleep. Maybe dream of a world where she could be mine.
But of course she had other plans.
"Are you seriously going to sleep? Boring!" she said, hitting me with a pillow.
"Pillow fight!"
"Dove—ugh, fine," I grumbled. But secretly? I loved this.
We battled with pillows until we both collapsed into her beanbags, breathless and laughing.
"So..." she said.
I turned my head. "What?"
"Earlier today... did any of the boys catch your eye?"
I groaned. "Dove, you know I hate boys."
She giggled. "That's because you haven't met the right one."
"Riiiiiiight."
She nudged me. "Come on, Raven."
I looked at her. "What about you? Anyone?"
She suddenly got quiet, drawing invisible shapes on the floor. "I dunno... maybe... maybe not."
"Oh really? Who?"
"I didn't say anything."
I threw a pillow at her. "Shut up. Tell me."
She sighed dramatically. "Okay, okay. It's just a silly crush. Doesn't mean anything. He just looked really cute today."
"Is it Henry?"
She looked horrified. "Um, no. Henry is cute, but I do not need that kind of attention in my life."
And just like that, my lungs filled again. Relief.
"Okay. So who, then?"
"Josh."
I blinked. "Josh?"
She nodded.
"Who's Josh again?"
She gasped. "Oh my God, Raven. Biology class? Been in school with us since middle school? Quarterback? Pretty blue eyes?"
"Oh. Him."
"Yeah."
"Why don't you ask him out?"
She laughed. "Nah. It's a stupid crush. I'll get over it."
She laughed again, and I smiled, though it felt like my ribs were folding in on themselves.
"Dove, stop saying stupid things. Can we get some sleep now?"
"Alright, alright. Sheesh."
We got into bed. She hugged me. Kissed my cheek. Giggled. Rolled over.
"Goodnight, Raven."
"Goodnight, Dove."
I stared at the ceiling, inhaling her scent from the pillow.
She'd never be mine.
But for now, this was enough.