Fairy Tail at night is something else, seriously. It's almost... peaceful? Without Natsu trying to set fire to everything, without Gray deciding that clothes are optional in the middle of a brawl, and without chairs flying past my head, the place is actually rather nice. The magic lanterns cast a warm, golden light over everything, and the only sound is the fire crackling in the hearth. It's so strange it's a little bit scary. Like the calm before a typhoon of idiots.
I was sitting at the bar, swinging my legs and trying to make my mug of coffee last as long as possible. The truth is, I just didn't want to go home yet. And, well, Mirajane was there, behind the bar, wiping some glasses with a tranquility that should be illegal after the day we'd had. She looked like an angel polishing goblets in the middle of a newly silenced battlefield. How does she do it?
"Aren't you going home to get an early night, Mira?" I asked, just to have something to say. My voice sounded louder than I wanted.
She turned and smiled. And, oh, may the celestial spirits forgive me, that smile. The kind of smile that could convince a king to give away his kingdom and that was, definitely, making my heart train for a marathon.
"And miss the chance to have a quiet chat with you, Lucy?" she said, with a wink so subtle I almost thought I'd imagined it.
Result: I nearly spat out my coffee. I felt my entire face catch fire. Why am I like this?! Breathe, Lucy, breathe! It's just Mirajane, the most beautiful and charming mage you've ever seen, being... Mirajane. HEART, CALM DOWN! This is not the time to have a fit!
"I-er... w-well, I-I just... thought you must be tired, after... you know, today's chaos," I stammered, feeling like the biggest idiot in the universe.
She laughed, a soft, hoarse sound that made the hairs on my arms stand on end. "Oh, darling, I'm used to the chaos." She rested her chin on her hands, staring at me with those blue eyes that seemed to read all my embarrassing thoughts. "...And besides, it's rather relaxing when everything finally slows down a bit... especially if the company is good."
Okay. That's it. Astral plane, here I come. Death by excessive flirting. I swallowed hard, feeling my cheeks ache from how hot they were. I needed to change the subject. Now. For my own sanity.
"O-OH! SPEAKING OF TODAY'S EVENTS!" My voice came out about three octaves higher. Brilliant, Lucy, subtle as always. "I was thinking... earlier today, the Master used that giant hand to flatten Natsu when he tried to go up the stairs, didn't he? Why is no one allowed to go up there? What's on that second floor, anyway? A secret treasure? A sleeping dragon? The Master's collection of men's magazines?"
Mirajane straightened up, the smile still playing on her lips, as if she knew exactly the effect she was having on me.
"The second floor?" she repeated, picking up a bottle to wipe. "Ah, that's where the S-Class missions are kept. Only the strongest mages in the guild, with special permission from the Master, are allowed to go up there and take those jobs."
"S-Class missions? So they're like... super difficult?" I asked, curiosity winning out over my gay panic.
"Super difficult, super dangerous, and they pay super well," she said with a little laugh. "That's why idiots like Natsu are always trying to have a little peek." She leaned over the bar, her voice now a conspiratorial whisper. "But if you're not S-Class... well, the Master literally gives the attempt a magical slap-down. You saw it today, didn't you? Natsu practically became one with the floorboards."
"I saw... and, honestly, I heard the 'thud'," I murmured, laughing at the memory of the pathetic scene.
"Yes. Natsu and his stubbornness..." she said, with a smile, but her gaze grew a little distant for a second. "He's tried to take the S-Class promotion trial, you know. Several times. Just like Erza and Azra'il..."
I jumped on my stool. "What?! AN S-CLASS TRIAL?! There's a trial for that?! They've taken part?!"
Mira smiled at my reaction, clearly enjoying herself. "Mhm. But you can't just sign up. The Master chooses who he thinks is ready. And the trial, Lucy... it's no picnic. It's brutal. And sometimes, things go very, very wrong."
"And... and who are the guild's S-Class Mages, then?" I leaned in, completely hooked.
She began to count on her fingers with an infuriating calm. "We have Gildarts, whenever he decides to come home... Laxus... Mystogan... Erza... Azra'il... and," she pointed to herself with a sweet, lethal smile, "me."
My mouth fell open. "WAIT. YOU'RE an S-Class Mage?!"
She shrugged, with an air of 'why the surprise, darling?'. "Is there a problem with that, Lucy?"
"N-NO! NOT AT ALL! IT'S JUST... YOU SEEM SO..." *Normal! Elegant! Sweet!* my brain screamed. My survival instinct took over. "...so KIND!" I blurted out, too quickly. Smooth, Lucy. Very smooth.
She laughed, a laugh full of a malice that sent a shiver down my spine. "Oh, Lucy... I'm only kind to those who deserve it. Or," she leaned a little closer, and my heart stopped, "to those who interest me."
Okay. Critical system failure. Cheeks in supernova mode. Change the subject. URGENTLY.
"AND AZRA'IL?!" my voice squeaked. "She's S-Class too?! But she's so... lazy!"
Mirajane nodded, still with that devilish smile. "She passed the last trial. Last year, at seventeen."
"Seventeen?! But why?!"
"Because she is," Mira picked up a glass to wipe, the epitome of casualness, "lazy, mocking, completely without a filter... but ridiculously powerful. The Master basically blackmailed her, threatening to cut off the guild's tea supply if she didn't take the trial seriously."
"...Really?!"
"Deadly serious. And the best part? Even without the slightest effort, she's already humiliated Laxus in past trials."
My head was spinning. All that gossip I'd been hearing around the guild...
"Ah... the story about the drawing...?"
"The very one," Mirajane confirmed, with a laugh that was pure wickedness. "He didn't show his face around here for weeks. And yes, it was a drawing... a phallic one. Very well detailed, from what I'm told."
"OH MY GOD..." I was horrified. And impressed.
"But the final fight of her trial was... against Erza. And, believe it or not, Lucy... Erza won."
"AZRA'IL... LOST TO ERZA?!" That just didn't compute in my head.
Mira nodded, but her smile vanished, replaced by a more subdued expression. "It was a... strange duel."
"Strange how?" I needed to know.
"Just strange," she said, with a nostalgic, evasive smile. "The two of them fought, certainly, but... there was something else going on there. Hard to explain. If you ever have the courage to ask them, maybe you'll understand."
That only piqued my curiosity to dangerous levels. "Wait... you were in that trial too, weren't you? When Erza became S-Class?"
Mirajane gave a small, resigned smile. "I was, yes."
"And...?"
"And I didn't pass," she said, shrugging, but her eyes revealed the sting of the memory. "It was frustrating. I gave it my all, but... it wasn't my time."
"But now you are..."
"I passed the following year," she said, and that dangerous glint returned to her eyes. "I came back stronger. More... focused. And, perhaps, with an extra desire to show everyone what I was capable of." She winked. "Let's just say I gave my opponents that year quite a headache."
I laughed nervously. Mirajane was kind, for sure... but she was also a terrifying competitor. I didn't know whether to admire her more or fear her more.
"So, only Erza passed that year?"
"That's right. On her own merits. Azra'il lost and I'm almost certain she didn't give a damn. And I... well, I had to swallow my pride and wait." She sighed, her gaze lost for a moment on the wall full of guild photos. "That trial changed a lot of things. Between the three of us, especially."
"And today...? Were you two... competing for something else, besides being the strongest?" The gossip-monger in me couldn't resist.
Mirajane smiled with pure malice. "Oh, yes. There was a time when Erza and I competed for attention." She looked at me with an amused glint. "More specifically, for Azra'il's attention."
I nearly fell off my stool. "FOR AZRA'IL'S?!"
"Mhm," she nodded, with a fond nostalgia. "It was an... intense phase. I liked her a lot. Genuinely." Mira sighed. "But deep down... I always knew. The way Azra'il looks at Erza... it's different. She's never looked at anyone else that way."
I was speechless. Trying to process a love triangle involving the guild's scariest mages.
"That must... have been difficult."
"It was," she smiled, a genuine smile this time. "But I got over it. And, honestly? Nowadays, it's much more fun to watch those two idiots get tangled up in their own feelings without having the slightest idea what to do." She winked again. "And, of course, that left me free to have fun with other lovely girls in the guild who are a little less... complicated."
"M-ME?!" My voice squeaked. Again. My face was a forest fire.
Mirajane just shrugged, with the utmost innocence. "I didn't say any names, Lucy. But if the cap fits..." she leaned in, and I swear I could feel the warmth of her smile, "...you can wear it. It looks lovely on you."
*Lucy Heartfilia system: has stopped working. Reason: gay panic overload. Please restart brain.*
"I-I think... it's getting very late for me!" I muttered, placing the empty mug on the bar and grabbing my bag with what little dignity I had left, which wasn't much.
"Leaving already? Are you really going to leave me here all alone with all this quiet?" she asked, with a pout that was clearly fake, but still terribly effective.
"If I stay here five more minutes, you'll probably say something else that will make me faint from embarrassment!" I replied, already backing away towards the door.
She laughed, a soft, completely satisfied sound. "Goodnight, Lucy."
"Goodnight, Mira." I gave a shaky little smile and practically fled the guild before she could make me spontaneously combust.
Walking through the quiet streets of Magnolia, the cool night air was a relief to my still-flaming cheeks. But my head... my head was a complete and utter mess. S-Class Mages, deadly trials, cock-and-balls drawings on faces, love triangles... and Mirajane Strauss shamelessly flirting with me.
"An S-Class mission..." I murmured to the starry sky. "I bet that's the kind of thing that turns your life upside down." And little did I know, in my sweet, blessed, and now utterly ruined naivety, that I was about to be dragged into one.
I opened the door to my flat, sighing with relief at the prospect of a quiet, lonely night to process everything.
An illusion, of course.
"LUCY, YOU'RE BACK!" shouted two terribly familiar voices from inside my dark living room.
I froze. A nervous twitch started in my left eye. "...No. Not again. Not today."
I switched on the light, already expecting the worst.
And there they were. The duo of the apocalypse. Natsu, sprawled on my sofa, with his feet on my new cushion, as if he paid the rent. And Happy, on my coffee table, munching on a fried fish that he had DEFINITELY stolen from my fridge.
"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING INSIDE MY HOUSE?! AND HOW DID YOU GET IN AGAIN?!"
"Oh, relax, relax, Lucy!" Natsu got up with a proud smile, as if he had just invented the cure for motion sickness. "I've got amazing news! We got a mission! And you're going to love it!"
"You... got a mission?" I looked from one to the other, my spider-sense for trouble tingling like mad.
"Well..." Happy said, wiping his greasy mouth on the back of his paw, avoiding my gaze, "...actually, Lucy, it's an... S-Class mission. And we sort of... 'borrowed' it. From the second floor."
Silence. A deadly silence, heavy with a rising fury that was probably making my hair stand on end.
"You…" my voice failed for an instant, such was my disbelief. "YOU TWO STOLE AN S-CLASS MISSION FROM THE FORBIDDEN BOARD?!"
"We didn't 'steal' it, Lucy! We 'requisitioned it for the greater good'!" Natsu corrected, with all the bare-faced cheek in the universe, as he waved a crumpled old piece of paper he had triumphantly pulled from inside his waistcoat. "And look! It's an amazing mission! 'Mysteries on Galuna Island. Investigate the strange magical anomalies. Possible ancient moon curse. Reward: Seven million Jewels!' It's perfect for us! It's going to be a grand adventure!"
"IT'S PERFECTLY ILLEGAL, YOU FLAMING IDIOT WITH A BRAIN THE SIZE OF A BURNT PEA!" I screamed, feeling a monumental headache form behind my eyes, threatening to split my skull in two. "DO YOU KNOW, OR HAVE ANY IDEA, WHAT HAPPENS TO GUILD MEMBERS WHO TAKE AN S-CLASS MISSION WITHOUT PROPER AUTHORISATION?! HAVE YOU ALREADY FORGOTTEN THE MASTER'S PUNCH?! THE GIANT HAND?!"
"Oh, come on, Lucy. At worst, it'll just be a right telling-off from the old man, maybe a boring punishment of cleaning the guild floor for a week," Natsu shrugged with an indifference that drove me mad. "But seven million Jewels, Lucy! It's totally worth it! And the adventure will be legendary!"
"AT WORST, IT'LL BE A PUNCH FROM THE MASTER THE SIZE OF A HOUSE ON TOP OF YOUR EMPTY HEADS! AND MAYBE A CEREBRAL HAEMORRHAGE ON MY PART FROM PURE AND ABSOLUTE STRESS! HAPPY! DON'T TELL ME YOU, WITH YOUR SLIGHTLY LARGER BRAIN, ALSO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!"
"Well... I just... I just wanted a chance to catch some of the exotic, tropical fish they say are on Galuna Island... they look delicious in the pictures..." he muttered, looking away and suddenly seeming very interested in a bit of fluff on my rug.
I stared at the two idiots in front of me. The pyromaniac and his feline accomplice. They looked so... so genuinely and innocently convinced that this was a brilliant idea. As if it were just another fun adventure, with no consequences, no real dangers.
I sighed, feeling all my energy, all my anger, and all my will to live drain away at once, replaced by a tired, deep, and terribly familiar resignation.
"You two are completely, totally, and absolutely mad. And suicidal. This is going to go very, very, very badly."
Natsu, completely ignoring my tone of despair and my pessimistic, entirely logical prediction, just broke into an even bigger, brighter smile, full of a confidence that bordered on insanity.
"And that's exactly why, Lucy, we need you with us! To make sure things don't go *that* badly! And it's going to be really, really fun! I promise!"
His definition of 'fun' and mine were definitely from different planets, or perhaps different galaxies. And, at that moment, staring at the excited and utterly irresponsible face of my teammate, I realised, with a crystal clarity, a growing headache, and an immense desire to cry, that my life in Fairy Tail... would never, ever, under any circumstances... be quiet. And, to my growing and profound horror, a small, tiny, and masochistic part of me might even like that a little bit. Maybe. Just a little bit. Damn my life.