"OH," Varin said out of nowhere, "that's bad."
Whatever he had thought of was apparently bad enough that his usual dialect wasn't even in his words anymore. They had returned to the ship after the small scouting mission, deciding it would be smarter to come up with a proper plan before charging blindly into a sky island ruled by a self-proclaimed god. Around him, the crew argued back and forth over possibilities. Who should stay on the ship, who should pair up, if they should even split up at all, and how exactly they were supposed to deal with somebody who apparently had the ability to smite people from across an entire island.
"Okay, why? Varin?" Sanji asked, brow furrowing as he leaned against the railing. "You almost sound concerned."
"That's because I am, ya daft bastard. I think I know what fruit this 'god' is usin', and it's more than a hazard for our health," Varin replied, rubbing at his head. He sat on a barrel near the wall leading toward the captain's/ladies' quarters, his massive frame making the thing creak dangerously beneath him.
"Okay, that still doesn't explain much, but continue," Nami said.
All eyes turned toward Varin now. This was probably the closest any of them had ever seen him to genuinely worried. Even during Alabasta, while fighting Crocodile in the middle of a desert, the man had looked more annoyed than threatened. Seeing him tense like this put everyone on edge.
"You've come to the same conclusion then?" Robin asked quietly, a knowing and distinctly grim look in her eyes.
"Aye. Only one fruit I can think of that can have this kind of power. Well, two technically, but one of those can't be here," Varin muttered as he stood. It was less hopping off the barrel and more stepping down because of his sheer size. He rubbed a hand over his face again before continuing. "I pray to... hell, even Loki, I'm not right, but I'm not that lucky. I'm thinkin' it's the..." He paused midway through the sentence, struggling to remember the exact name.
"...Rumble-Rumble Fruit, right?" Robin finished for him. Her voice stayed calm, but there was still a heaviness to it, mixed with obvious curiosity about how Varin even knew about a fruit like that.
"Aye. That one," Varin confirmed. He started pacing across the deck, heavy boots thudding against the worn wood hard enough that Usopp winced every time he turned.
"It's a fucking lightning Logia," Varin explained, glancing toward the crew, most of whom still looked confused. "And one of very, very, very few invincible fruits."
"What's an invincible fruit, and why should I be even more scared?" Usopp asked immediately.
"Oh, I know," Luffy cut in confidently. "It makes you immortal, right? That's why it's called invincible."
"Don't be stupid," Zoro said flatly before smacking Luffy across the back of the head hard enough to send the captain sprawling onto the deck.
"Actually, the moron's not that far off for once," Sanji admitted, his expression turning more serious. One leg shifted slightly backward on instinct, posture settling unconsciously into a fighting stance. "I've read about those fruits before. They say the moment you eat one, you become one of the strongest people in existence. They give that much power, right?"
"Aye," Varin confirmed. "It's one of those. A fruit with so much power it's not even funny."
"Wait," Usopp said slowly, pointing shakily toward him, "then wouldn't your fruit be one of those as well? I mean, yours is literally a go—" He never got to finish the sentence because Varin moved instantly, one massive hand clamping over the sniper's mouth and nearly half his face with it. Usopp made a muffled choking noise as he was lifted slightly off his feet.
"Don't," Varin snarled quietly. "Bastard's probably listenin'. Don't give him any more advantages." Only when Usopp nodded frantically with wide eyes did Varin finally let go. The larger man wiped his hand off on his pants before continuing like nothing had happened.
"But no. I actually need to train mine. Invincible fruits don't need trainin'. The instant you consume one, you become, as implied, invincible."
"So how do we fight something like that?!" Chopper exclaimed, hooves flying to his head as he immediately hid behind the nearest person, which happened to be Vivi. Not that her body could physically shield him from lightning.
Varin was quiet for a moment, looking at the reindeer before he spoke. "...I don't know," he admitted finally.
"We're so dead, aren't we..." Nami groaned, slumping dramatically onto the deck. "Even the warmongering beast doesn't know how to fight back."
"That's a new one," Varin laughed, though there wasn't really any humor behind it.
"It's the best I could come up with without revealing your part of your fruit," Nami replied, giving him a small smile anyway. "Come on, you actually seem worried. That's not exactly a comforting thought. I think this is genuinely a new emotion we've seen from you. You weren't even worried when you fought Crocodile in the middle of a desert."
"Forgive a man for finally findin' a new family and not wantin' to lose it to some overpowered dickhead with a bullshit fruit."
There was a short silence after that. Even Zoro looked mildly caught off guard by the statement. "That's... kinda sweet," Vivi admitted carefully, finally managing to pry Chopper off her legs. "If a bit crass."
"All that aside," Zoro cut in, arms crossed, "what do you actually know about these invincible fruits? Or this particular one?"
"Well," Varin said slowly, "I know of... four. No, five invincible fruits. The Rumble-Rumble Fruit that we're facin', the Tremor-Tremor Fruit that Whitebeard possesses, the Light-Light Fruit one of the admirals has, and the other two are in my family."
That immediately drew everyone's attention again, all eyes locking onto him as he spoke. "The Rumble fruit is a Logia," Varin continued, pacing once more. "So hurtin' the bastard's already gonna be a challenge, and that's if we're even fast enough to touch him in the first place. Lightning doesn't exactly move slow."
"And if we can't hit him?" Sanji asked.
"Then we're fucked."
Usopp whimpered loudly in the background. Robin ignored him and rested her chin lightly against her hand, thinking. "Lightning itself is already destructive enough, but if the stories about that fruit are true..."
"Aye," Varin interrupted grimly. "Then he can hear us, too."
"....He can what?" Nami asked slowly.
"The fruit boosts observation abilities. Let's him sense electrical signals. Movement, voices. Depends on how skilled the user is." Varin exhaled sharply through his nose. "Which means if this god's as strong as he thinks he is, then he already knows we're here, what we're sayin', and what we're plannin'."
Luffy blinked. "That's creepy," he said, "but cool."
"For once," Zoro muttered, "I agree with him."
"What do you know, if anything, about this fruit?" Sanji asked, staring out toward the jungle surrounding them. His eyes narrowed slightly like he could somehow already see the enemy waiting somewhere in the trees.
"Not much," Varin admitted. "Only reason I even know of the fruit is because around... four hundred years ago, my great-great-grandfather, or was it uncle..." He paused, rubbing at his forehead before shaking his head. "Either way. Remember how I said I know two invincible fruits in my family? It took one of those to beat the pirate who last had this fruit."
That immediately caught everyone's attention again. Even Luffy stopped stuffing his face long enough to actually listen.
"And before I say any more," Varin continued, pointing a finger outward toward the crew, "I'd like to say that from my understanding, most Zoans can't really be invincible fruits. Because like I said, you have to actually be strong enough to use the full power of them. A Logia like lightning? The second you eat it, you become lightning itself. Doesn't matter if you're weak. Same for the Tremor fruit or the Light fruit. But Zoans..." He exhaled through his nose. "Zoans scale off the user. You need the body, the mind, and the endurance to handle what they are. They can become that level, but you need to work for it. I know of two that break this rule."
Robin nodded slightly at that, clearly following his logic, still leaning on her hand as she listened. "But even then," Varin said, voice lowering slightly, "it still took the Giant-Giant Fruit, Model: Ymir, to beat this fruit the last time."
A faint unease settled across the deck. Even without knowing what that fruit was, the way Varin said the name made it sound heavy. Ancient.
"Ymir?" Vivi repeated carefully.
"Aye. The first giant. First creation. Father of all things, his flesh is our world, his blood our seas, and his bones our mountains." Varin leaned back against the railing, crossing his arms. "And even then, if I remember right, it was mostly a tie."
"A tie?!" Usopp yelped. "How do you tie against lightning?! How do you tie against the first thing in existence?!"
"Very violently," Varin answered flatly. "My ancestor won," Varin continued after a moment. "Technically. The Rumble user died during the fight."
"And your ancestor?" Robin asked quietly.
Varin was silent for a second. "Permanent injuries. Died about a year or so later, if the stories are right."
That completely killed whatever little confidence the crew still had left. Nami stared at him. "You're telling me one of the strongest fruits in existence, used by one of your absurd monster relatives, barely managed to kill the last guy with this fruit?"
"Aye."
"And now we're fighting another one?"
"Aye."
"We are unbelievably screwed."
"Probably," Varin admitted with a shrug.
Chopper looked seconds away from fainting. Usopp honestly wasn't much better. Zoro, meanwhile, just grinned slightly and rested a hand against one of his swords. "Sounds fun."
"You are deeply mentally ill," Sanji informed him immediately.
"Look who's talking, curly brows."
"Children," Robin sighed.
Luffy, meanwhile, looked practically excited now. "So this guy's really strong?"
Varin slowly turned toward him. "Luffy."
"Yeah?"
"If you punch lightning, you'll die."
The captain blinked.
"...Probably worth trying anyway."
Varin stared at him for several long seconds before groaning loudly and dragging a hand down his face.
"I miss when my biggest problem was Marines."
"Actually, it's still a pretty big problem. I forgot to show you this back on Jaya, when you disappeared for a bit," Nami said.
She ducked into her map room for a moment before returning with several folded papers in hand. Varin could tell what they were immediately, and despite the situation, despite the looming threat of a lightning god waiting somewhere on the island, he felt a sharp burst of excitement hit him.
"Please tell me those are what I think they are," Varin said, almost giddy as he pushed off the railing and crossed the distance to the navigator in two long strides. His arms reached for the papers immediately, and Nami handed them over without much resistance, though she was clearly amused by the sudden change in mood.
The first poster was Luffy's.
MONKEY D. LUFFY
DEAD OR ALIVE
100,000,000 BERRIES
"Ha! Nice goin', Cap," Varin barked with a grin before immediately moving to the second paper.
RORONOA ZORO
DEAD OR ALIVE
60,000,000 BERRIES
Varin laughed again and smacked a massive hand against Zoro's in a rough clap that nearly shoved the swordsman sideways. Zoro barely reacted, already expecting something like that.
"First bounty, mate. Soon enough, you'll reach that bastard Hawkeye."
"Look at the next one," Zoro replied, a grin splitting across his own face now.
"Oh, aye? Somethin' got you smilin' like that, this has gotta be good," Varin muttered as he pulled the final poster to the front. Then he froze for half a second.
VARIN ÞANN ER BILAÐI
ALIVE
100,000,000 BERRIES
Þú hefðir aldri átt at lifa í ísi, en þú hefir metorð um at bregðast vonum
He had his own bounty. And despite the two obvious insults written into it, he was very, very happy. His picture was honestly terrifying, too. It had clearly been taken during the fighting in Alabasta, right at the moment he caught the cannonball that had been fired toward Vivi. His eyes were bloodshot, his body covered in blood and sand, and there was something outright savage in his expression. Vivi herself had either been cropped out or the picture had been angled just enough that she never appeared in frame at all. "...I look fuckin' insane," Varin said, sounding genuinely impressed.
"You kind of do," Nami admitted.
"Impressive picture," Robin added calmly.
Usopp leaned around Varin's arm, staring down at the poster. "I'm gonna guess the words in your language probably aren't good ones, are they?"
"The 'last name' they've so graciously given me means 'the one who failed,'" Varin replied with a low growl. It wasn't directed at Usopp, but the sound alone still made the sniper instinctively step back anyway. "And the sentence at the bottom means..." He squinted slightly at the text before snorting. "'You should have never lived through the ice, but you have a record for failing expectations.' Perks of bein' in a Marine family. You get personal bounties like this." There was an odd mix of annoyance and amusement in his voice, like he genuinely found the entire thing entertaining despite the obvious hostility behind it.
"Why the alive part?" Robin asked. She tapped lightly against the word printed beneath his name. "I've never seen a bounty requesting the target exclusively alive unless they had a very specific reason."
"Ah, well..." Varin scratched at the side of his jaw. "Probably wanna make sure I die this time, and make sure they're the ones to do it."
That answer immediately killed most of the humor surrounding the bounty. Nami frowned. "That is an incredibly concerning sentence."
"Aye, probably." Varin shrugged carelessly, though there was a heaviness behind his eyes now that hadn't been there a moment ago. "Though it ain't exactly true either. We've got a saying back home. 'Only way a Styrnvald dies is to another Styrnvald.'"
Zoro raised an eyebrow. "That sounds less like a saying and more like a threat."
"Usually both," Varin replied immediately.
"So your family's just insane then?" Usopp asked carefully.
"Violently so. We, or rather they, are the Marines' lapdogs for a reason."
"Uhm..." Chopper raised one hoof slightly, shrinking under the attention the moment everyone looked at him. "I hate to interrupt, but shouldn't we focus on the now? Bounties are really cool, but they don't matter if we die up here." The reindeer said the last part hesitantly, voice going quieter near the end like he regretted saying it at all.
Unfortunately for everyone, he also wasn't wrong. The mood on the ship dipped again almost immediately. The distant sound of thunder rolling across the white sea suddenly felt a lot more ominous than it had earlier.
"Aye," Varin admitted after a moment. "Tiny doctor's got a point."
"I'm not tiny!" Chopper snapped automatically before immediately retreating behind Vivi again.
Varin ignored him completely as he continued. "The problem is simple," he continued, pacing slowly across the deck once more. "If this bastard really does have the Rumble-Rumble Fruit, then fighting him directly is damn near suicide unless you can hit him. And since he's lightning, hittin' him at all's already a problem. And once again, he's probably listening in, so we can't really plan."
Luffy looked upward toward the sky with a grin. "HEY LIGHTNING GUY, CAN YOU HEAR ME?!"
"LUFFY!" half the crew shouted instantly.
Varin physically flinched. "Oh, for the love of..."
For a few long seconds, nothing happened. No lightning. No booming divine voice. No sudden smiting from the heavens. Then everyone collectively relaxed slightly.
"Well," Sanji muttered, lighting another cigarette, "either he didn't hear that somehow, or he's waiting to kill us later."
"That second option isn't comforting," Nami complained.
"It wasn't meant to be."
Varin leaned both hands against the railing, staring out toward the dense jungle ahead. The usual confidence in him was still there, but now it had something heavier mixed into it. Calculation. Caution. Like a predator realizing something else in the forest might actually be dangerous too.
"There's another issue," he said finally. "Even if we somehow hit him, lightning's destructive by nature. One wrong move and half this forest catches fire. One direct strike and most of us are dead instantly."
Usopp made a strangled noise. "Can you stop saying things like that?!"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
Zoro cracked his neck slightly. "So what, we avoid fighting him head-on?"
"Aye. Preferably."
Luffy frowned immediately. "But that's boring."
"It's survivin'," Varin corrected. "There's a difference."
"Still boring."
Nami smacked Luffy across the back of the head this time. "You are not charging the lightning god alone."
"Aww."
"Especially," she continued, eyes narrowing dangerously, "because I know for a fact you were thinking about it." Luffy grinned, which was all the confirmation anyone needed.
Robin hummed thoughtfully. "If direct confrontation is too dangerous, then perhaps information is more important right now. We still know very little about Upper Yard, the priests, or this god himself."
"That's probably our safest option," Sanji agreed. "Scout the area, figure out the terrain, learn what we can before rushing into anything."
Varin nodded once. "Exactly. Because right now, all we know is there's a man with one of the strongest fruits in existence sitting somewhere on this island thinkin' he's untouchable."
"And he probably is," Usopp muttered.
Varin's grin returned then, though this one looked sharper than before. Meaner. "Aye," he admitted. "But people who think they're untouchable tend to stop expectin' someone stupid enough to try anyway."
Slowly, every eye on the ship turned toward Luffy. The captain blinked. "What?"
Varin was silent for a moment before his eyes shifted toward Zoro. Something thoughtful settled behind them, as an idea had just clicked into place. "Before we go," he said slowly, "let me try somethin'. Swordsman, come 'ere."
Zoro raised an eyebrow but pushed himself off the railing anyway, walking over until he stood directly in front of the larger man. "What's this for?" he asked. "Don't tell me you're planning on proposing."
"Ha. You wish someone as good lookin' as me would, moss head," Varin shot back immediately. "Nah, I ain't that insane just yet."
A grin tugged briefly at his face before it faded again into something more serious. "I want you to take all your pride, anger, whatever the hell your strongest emotions are, and just like how you said you learned to cut steel, I want you to imagine you're puttin' all that into your blades. Or blade, in this case."
Zoro's expression shifted slightly at that. "And what exactly is that supposed to do?" he asked.
"If I'm right," Varin replied, crossing his arms, "it'll let you hit the lightning bastard."
That got everyone's attention instantly. "What?!" Usopp shouted. "You could've started with that!"
"Calm down," Varin grunted. "I said if I'm right. This ain't exactly somethin' you just learn in five minutes. You all know how little I can use it. But it's better than nothing right now."
Zoro rested one hand against Wado Ichimonji, eyes narrowing slightly. "And you think I can?"
"Aye." Varin nodded once without hesitation. "Outta everyone here, you're probably the only one ready for it right now."
Sanji clicked his tongue irritably at that, though he didn't actually argue. Nami, though, did. "What makes him special?" she asked, more curious than offended.
"He's stubborn enough," Varin answered immediately. "And more importantly, he already understands the principle without realizing it." Zoro frowned slightly but didn't interrupt. "You said when you learned to cut steel," Varin continued, "you stopped tryin' to overpower everythin'. You listened. Felt the breath of things around you. Felt where to cut and where not to."
"Well, this," Varin continued, tapping one thick finger against one of Zoro's swords, "ain't all that different. Except instead of listenin' outward, you're forcing somethin' inward. Willpower. Intent. Every ounce of yourself."
The air around the deck felt strangely heavy now, and everyone was listening closely, even if they didn't fully understand what he meant. "Most people can't do it because their minds wander too much," Varin continued. "Fear, doubt, hesitation. Their spirit cracks before the rest of 'em does. But you?" A grin spread slowly across his face. "You're too goddamn stubborn to bend."
"Hah," Zoro smirked slightly at that. "Fair enough. So what exactly am I supposed to do?"
Varin pointed toward the swords at his hip. "Draw one."
Zoro pulled Wado Ichimonji free slightly before fully unsheathing it, the blade gleaming faintly beneath the light of the sky above.
"Now," Varin said, "stop thinkin' about it like a sword."
"That's a sword," Usopp muttered immediately.
"No shit." Varin ignored him completely. "Think of it as part of you instead. Not somethin' you're holdin'. Somethin' that's yours. Something you swordsman should already know how to do."
Zoro's grip tightened slightly as he nodded.
"Now take all that pride of yours. Every fight you've survived. Every bastard you've beaten. Every promise you refuse to break." Varin's voice lowered slightly, becoming steadier. Heavier. "And force it into the blade."
Nothing happened for the first few seconds. The deck stayed silent except for the distant rumble of thunder somewhere far across the white sea. Zoro frowned slightly, grip tightening harder.
"Focus," Varin ordered. "Don't think about cuttin'. Think about winning."
Zoro exhaled slowly through his nose. For the briefest moment, something dark flickered along the edge of the blade. Thin as smoke, gone almost instantly.
Varin's grin widened to something wolfish. "There it is," he muttered.
Zoro looked down at the sword in his hand, eye narrowing further. "...The hell was that?"
"A start," Varin answered. "A damn good one, too."
Usopp blinked rapidly. "Wait, wait, wait, something actually happened?!"
"Aye," Varin said. "Means he's got the talent for it."
Zoro rolled his wrist once, staring at the blade as it had suddenly become unfamiliar in his hand. "Hm."
That was all he said, but the look in his eye had changed completely now. Focused now, Hungry for more.
Varin noticed immediately and barked out a laugh. "Oh yeah," he grinned. "Now you're gettin' it. Just need ya to remember that, and once you get good at it..." His grin widened slightly, sharper now, full of confidence that bordered on arrogance. "Well, we might just be unstoppable to anyone in Paradise. Assumin' they ain't takin' a vacation from the New World anyway."
Zoro smirked faintly at that, sliding Wado Ichimonji back into its sheath with a soft click. Even if he didn't fully understand what he had just touched, he clearly wanted more of it already.
"So this means we're good to move out then?" Nami asked, one hand locked on her hip while the other held her staff against her shoulder.
"Aye," Varin nodded. "Sittin' around too long just gives lightning dick more time to prepare."
"We probably should determine teams then, shouldn't we?" Robin said thoughtfully. She remained seated near the railing, calm as ever despite the situation. "Sticking together in this situation would be bad. At least if we're split up, we can divide this Enel's attention."
"That also means we're easier to kill," Usopp pointed out immediately.
"That too," Robin agreed pleasantly. Usopp looked horrified. She admitted that so casually.
Sanji took a long drag from his cigarette before flicking the ash overboard. "Still makes sense. If he really can attack entire areas at once, grouping together just makes us one big target."
"And if he's as arrogant as everyone says," Robin continued, "then multiple groups moving through Upper Yard at once may irritate him enough to make mistakes."
Luffy grinned immediately. "I like the sound of that."
"Of course you do," Nami sighed.
Varin leaned against the railing again, massive arms crossing over his chest as he looked over the crew. "Just don't underestimate the bastard. Fruits like his do somethin' to people."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Vivi asked.
"They stop thinkin' like normal people," Varin answered. "Imagine bein' untouchable from the moment you ate somethin'. Imagine every person you ever fight bein' slower than you, weaker than you, incapable of even touchin' you. After enough years of that?" His expression darkened slightly. "You stop seein' people as threats. Eventually you stop seein' them as people at all."
A faint rumble of thunder echoed far off in the distance.
"So he's insane," Zoro summarized.
"Aye," Varin replied. "But dangerous insane. Not the funny kind."
Luffy raised a hand. "I'm the funny kind."
"You ate a poisonous fish because it looked happy," Sanji reminded him.
"And I'd do it again."
"Please don't."
Robin lightly hid a smile behind one hand while Nami pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Right," the navigator said finally, forcing herself back on topic before the crew completely derailed again. "Teams."
"I'll go with Robin-swaaaan," Sanji immediately declared.
"No." The rejection was instant and completely emotionless.
Sanji crumbled dramatically to the deck. "She stabbed me through the heart..."
"You'll survive," Zoro muttered.
"Barely."
Varin ignored them and pointed toward Luffy first. "Captain's obviously goin' wherever the hell he wants."
"Adventure!" Luffy cheered.
"That is not a plan," Nami snapped.
"It is for him," Varin replied. "And honestly? Tryin' to stop him's more effort than it's worth."
"That's unfortunately true," Vivi admitted.
"Zoro should probably move separately, too," Robin added. "If Enel focuses on him, it may give him more opportunities to practice what Varin just showed him."
Zoro grinned at that. "Works for me."
"Which means," Nami said slowly, already sounding exhausted, "we are voluntarily splitting our strongest fighters apart while being hunted by a lightning god."
"Aye," Varin nodded. "Glad someone's catchin' up."
"We are absolutely going to die here."
"Probably," Varin agreed again.
Usopp whimpered loudly into Chopper's fur while the little reindeer looked equally terrified.
And despite all of that, despite the looming threat hanging over them and the knowledge that somewhere out there waited a man powerful enough to make even Varin cautious, the crew still started preparing to move.
Because that was just what the Straw Hats did. They walked directly into disasters, argued the entire time, and somehow survived anyway.