Night had fully settled on camp. The fire cracked. The crickets chirped. And Jake?
Jake was sitting under a tree, cross-legged like a drunk monk, staring at the glowing slate in his hand with the expression of a man who just realized his toaster could time travel.
"Wait… the fuck?"
He blinked again.
5G.Full bars.Battery: 73%.
Arthur, walking nearby, caught the glow again and squinted. "You still fiddlin' with that cursed brick?"
Jake didn't even hear him at first. He was scrolling through active notifications.
Davis: "Bro where tf did u go??? You spilled beer on ur carpet AGAIN"Davis: "Yo this game paused. I'm finishing it without you. Arthur just got—wait, tf u changin' the outfit remotely???"Davis: "JAKE. You dead??? Don't make me call your mom."Davis: "Seriously man wtf??"
Jake's eyes widened. "Holy shit. I'm still connected. My game's still running. My goddamn apartment's still there—with the beer can on the floor and everything."
Arthur tilted his head. "Is it... talkin' to you?"
Jake was furiously typing, thumbs flying like he was live-tweeting the apocalypse.
Jake: "Bro I am inside the fucking game. I am not joking. This is not a bit. This is not drugs. This is not that one time I licked a mushroom in Oregon. This is real. REAL."
Ding.
And then—his phone rang.
Jake's heart skipped. The screen flashed: Davis (Annoying Bestie).
"Ohhh shiiit—he's calling." He tapped 'Accept' faster than a Call of Duty reload.
Arthur flinched as a human voice screamed from the device:"JAKE? WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU, YOU IPA-DRINKING CAVEMAN?!"
Jake grinned and held the phone up. "Arthur, meet Davis. Davis, meet a literal cowboy with a satchel of regrets."
Arthur reeled back. "It—that thing's alive?!"
"I'm alive, asshole!" Davis shouted from the speaker. "Wait, who the hell was that? What's going on?! Are you at some roleplay LARP camp? Did you get kidnapped by adult cosplayers?!"
Jake hit the speaker button and stood up. "EVERYONE! Gather 'round. I present to you the miracle of freakin' technology."
A few of the gang looked over, mildly annoyed. Hosea raised a brow. Sean strolled closer with a beer. Karen leaned over, blinking at the shiny slab like it was about to shoot fire.
Jake shouted, "Talk to anyone, Davis. You wanted proof? Talk. To. ANY. ONE."
Davis' voice crackled. "...Uhhh, okay? You in a psych ward?"
Arthur stepped closer, hesitant, and leaned toward the phone. "...Who are you?"
There was a beat of silence.
"...Jake," Davis said, "is that a fucking NPC?"
Jake cracked up.
Davis continued, voice shrill, "That's Arthur. THAT'S ARTHUR FUCKING MORGAN. I'm hearing his actual voice. THIS IS CRAZY."
Dutch emerged from his tent like a curious bear. "What's goin' on?"
Sean pointed, amused. "Jake's talkin' to a ghost trapped in a flat rock."
Davis: "Ghost?! I'm not dead, you 19th-century drunk Muppet!"
Jake beamed. "I TOLD YOU. I'm in Red Dead Redemption 2, my guy. The actual game. Real people. Real horses. Real danger. And yes, I got ambushed by swamp ghouls with knives today."
Karen muttered, "He's officially insane. Maybe possessed."
Arthur stared at the phone like it was Satan's window. "How... How is this even possible?"
Jake shrugged. "Maybe the Rockstar devs got too ambitious. Maybe God has a dark sense of humor. Or maybe my fridge has a cursed Ethernet port. Who knows?"
Davis still sounded overwhelmed. "Jake… you're really there?"
Jake walked over to Arthur, held the phone near his mouth. "Say something cool."
Arthur looked awkward, then muttered, "I don't know about this... but if you're listenin', uh... hello?"
Davis screamed like a Swiftie at a concert. "AAAAAAAAH! HOLY SHIT! It's him! IT'S HIM! Tell him I love him—wait no that's weird—tell him he's badass—tell him I named my dog after him—"
Jake cut the call before Arthur could hear more embarrassing fanboying.
Everyone stood in stunned silence.
Jake calmly slipped the phone into his vest pocket, smirking like a man who just won a poker game with four aces and a sarcastic grin.
"Well," he said, patting Arthur on the shoulder, "at least now you know I wasn't bullshitting. I am the glitch in the Matrix, baby."
Arthur stared at him, blinking slowly. "You're... something."
"Damn right I am," Jake said, already walking away. "Now someone get me whiskey. I just blew everyone's collective cowboy minds."