While my thoughts were spiraling around different things from about my current life on different information,my thoughts soon was shaken (literally).
"Michael!"
A small hand shook my shoulder.
Hard,with it being almost violent.
I soon blinked and turned to the person.
"Are you gonna eat the cookie or not ? " Jeanne, my childhood friend who was puffing her cheeks like an offended Tsundere girl.
Even though she's not a tsundere.
And i know she's not a tsundere, since she really is bad at hiding her emotions.
She was holding a half-eaten cookie.
A cookie that she had grabbed from me previously and now was asking more like the IRS waiting for it's share of your salary.
Meanwhile I soon looked down at my snack lovingly packed by Mom.
Small sandwiches with the crusts cut off,a cup of pasta, several fruit slices shaped like stars, and yes… 6 little golden-brown cookies, they're also chocolate chip cookies.
"Here," I sighed with a soft smile, nudging one of the cookies toward her. "You can have it."
Her eyes lit up like I'd just handed her the answer to solve all problems in life (money is the answer by the way).
"Michael's the BEST!" she beamed.
I felt the warmth in my chest, even if I tried to hide it.
At least in this life, I have a few goals.
First, don't die single again.
That was a bit lame for me.
Since I had a prestige career, academic credibility, and a retirement plan but never even kissed anyone. Not once.
Yeah, kind of pathetic.
But in my defense the majority of guys in my world were single so don't really blame it on me.
Second, one of my dream the moment i realized i was reincarnated in a modern world and speak some French and learning that this world is similar to mine.
That is to become a Swiss Guard.
Yes I want to become a swiss guard even if the Vatican had many controversy
But that one died even faster than my love life.
You might asked me why do i become a swiss guard, well I've always admired them.(Well not really since i only discovered them when i was 14)
But They're colors,design, the oaths, the halberds.
Make it's so cool.
The fact they're history where they stood their ground during the Sack of Rome in 1527, defending Pope Clement VII.
189 Swiss guards stood between the Pope and an imperial army of thousands.
And they're sacrifice would be remembered by many.
With sabaton even made a song about it.
I started humming it under my breath:
"When the Winged Hussars arrive... no wait, wrong song-"
" In the holy see,in the home of Christianity see the power is in danger."
God, I loved that band.
Anyway… back to my point.
To be a swiss guard there are multiple requirements.
Among them to be a Swiss Guard, you have to be well...Swiss.
Guess what I'm not?
That's right.
I'm not swiss but french.
Even in the new life, God just had to test me sometimes.
Though that dream is more of as i said a dream.
With it destroyed not with a curse, not with demons, not with eternal fire.
But with a baguette and a side of disappointment.
"God," I thought as I watched Jeanne nibble her cookie like it was a treasure, "I know you move in mysterious ways. But could You not have shifted the map a little more east? Like 300 kilometers to the east and 50 km to maybe 150 km to the south since I'm in Northern France? Is that too much to ask?"
Switzerland.
Land of chocolate,The country famous for it's Neutrality (and can be considered as Europe cameraman or viewers on anything happening in Europe) and holy soldiers in striped pants.
Instead, I got France.
Home of bureaucracy, philosophy majors,the country that has a history of riots that you can make a history on every single riot that has happened and could feel an entire library about it,and horror at the word "productivity."
I sighed and took a bite of the second cookie.
Sweet, warm, and a little bit gooey.
But I'll survive....somehow.
---
Sure, I'm French now. But you know what stings even more ?
Switzerland is right there.
Like, literally next door.
We share a border.
A very walkable border unlike the US Mexican border by the way.
It's not even fortified. Not visibly, anyway.
Though let's be honest, it's the Swiss.
I wouldn't be surprised if there were explosives buried under every bridge, rail line, tunnel, goat trail, and scenic overlook.
Those guys basically turned the Alps into a fortress during World War II.
If the Germans had invaded, they would've been greeted by an avalanche of C4 and cheese-flavored vengeance and the swiss would have make the struggle of the battle of Stalingrad a kid's party,at that point the Germans would probably have lost so many soldiers and equipment for a single inch....
Ok moving on honestly?
They could probably survive a zombie apocalypse.
While France would probably negotiate with the zombies and unionize them if possible.
Anyway.
With the dream's dead.
Time to set a new one.
And to be fair, I've already got a head start.
I may be four, but my brain's running on adult-mode .
And my passions from my past life? Still intact.
"When I grow up," I thought, "I'm going to be a scientist again. And also dive myself into archeology."
God help this world if I get near a lab again.
Lost in thought, I glanced toward Jeanne,who was now licking cookie crumbs off her fingers with the concentration of a surgeon.
"Hey, Jeanne," I asked, curious, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
She looked up at me, eyes gleaming.
"Hmm… I don't know but maybe i wanna be a baker! Or a knight! Or a nun! Or maybe… I'll just stay with you forever!"
She beamed.
My cookie nearly lodged itself in my throat.
Right....I forgot.
When you're little, you believe the world's full of sunshine and rainbows.
That everyone gets a happy ending. That nothing bad ever happens to good people.
But then… you hit puberty.
And suddenly, you're blessed with depression, existential dread, pressure,taxes, and the lovely addition of back pain at 25... No scratch that.
At 18 you probably have started gotten it especially the amount of homework that should be considered child abuse by itself when your a teenager.
Meanwhile I soon looked at Jeanne who was happily nibbling the cookies i had while pretending to hide the fact she had stolen it.
But i feel bad since she doesn't know how cruel the world could be.
Man life being an adult sucks.
But considering she's gobbling the cookies like a chipmunk with nuts and especially with stars in her eyes.
Make me want to pet her and hugged her,and cherish her.
(Nothing to see here FBI.)
(Nothing is happening ok, so you can ignore what's happening)
"Alright then Jeanne" I said softly.
" I'll be waiting for your promise of that."
I soon offer her another cookie.
She soon looks at me, smiled and then soon bit it and gobble it as if she's the cookie monster.
Seeing that I actually do question sometimes if she's friends with me for friendship or my snacks.
And I'm leaning to the latter for the answer.
But I'm fine with that.