It hurts. I don't even know which part of my chest broke first.
Here I am again. Walking. No direction. No care where I end up. I just need to get away. Escape. Let this tangled mess in my head go quiet, even for a moment.
The night was still. But inside me… it felt like I was a bomb trying to keep itself from going off. But I couldn't anymore. I really couldn't.
I sat on the side of the road. My body gave out from the weight of it all. I hugged my knees and let the tears fall onto the concrete. I didn't even bother wiping them away. That was it. I was exhausted.
Then…
I heard footsteps. Slow. Heavy. Familiar.
It was Zayden.
"Kiera…"
I didn't want to hear his voice. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want anything to do with him.
But he was there. He didn't speak right away, but I could feel the heaviness of his presence behind me.
"I'm sorry, Kiera," he whispered.
I closed my eyes. My chest got heavier. I didn't even turn to face him.
"I don't know how I could ever make up for everything I did, but… I followed you. Because I couldn't stand seeing you like that. I couldn't… stay silent."
And then, suddenly, I spoke.
Soft, but filled with desperation.
"Zayden, please… just for now… leave."
Silence. He didn't speak. But he didn't leave either.
"I know it's me. I'm not just assuming it anymore—I really am the reason. I'm the reason for the fire. I'm the reason he's gone. Every day, I regret it, Kiera… but it's too late," his voice cracked, heavy with guilt.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I turned to him, and for the first time, I looked him straight in the eyes. Sharp. Unforgiving.
"Zayden, stop it. Please! Not now!"
My voice was loud. So many emotions burst out all at once. I couldn't hold them in anymore. My tears fell again.
"Everything's just too much!" I screamed.
Then, a taxi passed by.
"Get in."
"Zayden, where are we going?" I asked, resisting.
"You don't need to think about anything right now. Just come with me."
I didn't even know why—but I did.
---
[Transition: The Secret Place]
The ride was silent. Neither of us said a word. I stared out the window, my tears still falling. Zayden—hands on the wheel, like he knew exactly where we were headed.
We stopped somewhere dark. A clearing. No people. No cars. Like the middle of a forest or a mountain. Quiet. Free.
He stepped out.
"This is where I go when I don't know what else to do."
Slowly, I got out too.
"Where are we?" I asked.
He didn't answer. Instead, he looked up at the sky—and then suddenly, he screamed.
"I'm sorry, Kiera! I'm sorry! I was terrible! It hurts so much knowing I hurt you! I'm sorry!"
I stepped back. I didn't expect that. But I felt it. Every scream of his was full of remorse. Every word, a blow to my heart.
He turned to me.
"You too… scream it out. Let it out. The pain. The sadness. The anger you have for me. Go on, Kiera. You can do it."
I just stared at him. I hugged myself. My hands were trembling.
"Why is it like this?" I said, voice breaking as tears kept falling.
"It's a mess… why are you like this, universe?! Why do you keep messing with me? Why are you so cruel?!"
My voice grew louder. I wanted to shake the whole sky.
"WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?! WHY, ZAYDEN?!"
"I'M SORRY, ACE! I'M SORRY! I HATE MYSELF BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEE YOU!"
I sobbed.
"But I'm angry at you too! You didn't look for me either! You're horrible, ACE! Or BRYCE—whatever your name is! YOU'RE SO CRUEL!"
"You left me to drown in guilt! In sadness! In rage!"
Then...
I quietly stared at the sky. The air grew heavy. My voice trembled, barely audible.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed with all I had.
"WHY, UNCLE?! HOW COULD YOU BLAME ME FOR MOM'S DEATH WHEN SHE'S ALIVE?!"
"HOW COULD YOU HIDE HER FROM ME?! JUST TO MAKE YOUR FAMILY WHOLE? SO YOUR KID COULD HAVE A MOM? WHAT ABOUT ME?!"
"Why did you keep her from me?! Why make me believe it was my fault she disappeared?!"
I stopped screaming. My knees gave way. I sat on the ground. And finally...
A whisper. Soft.
"Why… doesn't Mom remember me…?"
"Why… even after I found her… doesn't she know it's me…?"
And then… it rained. No thunder, no wind. Just rain. Cold. Clean. But not enough to wash the weight from my heart.
Zayden pulled me into his arms. Tightly. Quietly. No words. No explanations.
But after a moment, I heard his voice—soft, almost a whisper, but sure.
"You're okay now… you're safe. I'm here."
I sniffled, trying to swallow all the pain I still wanted to scream out. But his arms around me were firm. I didn't need to say anything.
"It's okay to break down… to cry… to fall apart," he whispered, his hand gently rubbing my back. "You don't have to carry all of it alone, Kiera. You're not alone anymore."
I was still crying, but the heaviness felt different. Like it was slowly being lifted.
"Everything will be okay. Maybe not now, not tomorrow… but someday, it will. I promise."
And for the first time in a long time… even if just for a moment, I chose to believe.