"I hate you."
I mumbled it first.
Then louder.
Then screamed.
"I HATE YOU!!"
He didn't say anything. Just kept driving. Jaw tight. Knuckles pale on the steering wheel.
"You think you can just take away whatever you want—huh?! You took them too!!"
My voice cracked, breaking into sobs.
"Leo… tiger… they were mine too, damn it!! You didn't even tell me…"
Tears spilled like gasoline.
"And now they're gone like everything else in my life. Like my real family… my real name… my fcking peace!"*
My fist hit the dashboard, the door, anything.
"Why do you always get to decide what's good for me?! Huh?! Who made you my god?!"
He flinched slightly but didn't look at me.
"Answer me, bastard!"
I laughed, hollow and cruel.
"Oh right. You're too perfect to care about feelings. You're a monster in suits with expensive silence—congratulations, you fooled me too."
My voice dropped.
"You knew I'd get attached. That's the worst part. You knew… and still took them away..."
I turned to the window, tears hot on my cheeks.
"I always get abandoned. I should've learned by now. But no. My stupid heart still believes people might stay."
Silence.
"Fck fate…"* I whisper. "Fck love… Fck you… and fck this stupid life that keeps handing me things just to rip them away."*
He pulled over suddenly.
Parked in the middle of nowhere.
Got out. Opened my door.
I refused to move. Glaring through blurry vision. "Don't touch me."
But he did.
Not rough. Not gentle.
Just desperate.
He crouched, eye-level with my flushed, teary face. Eyes storming.
"You think you're the only one hurting?" His voice trembled, low and furious. "You think I didn't die a little watching you cry for something I thought was right to do?"
I laughed bitterly, shoving him.
"You should've told me. You always decide for me. I'm not your doll, Taehyung. I feel. I bleed. I break."
Tears clung to my chin, lips trembling.
He whispered, broken. "I know."
I bit my lip hard. "Then why? Why do you keep making me hate you when all I f*cking wanted… was to love someone without fear this time?"
He didn't speak.
And I didn't stop crying.
/////
I sat beside him, half-slumped against the door, makeup ruined, hair a mess, breath reeking of liquor and heartbreak.
He drove in silence.
Like he always does when he knows he's the reason I'm shattering.
I couldn't hold it anymore.
I turned to him with fire in my eyes, fists clenched tight, then punched his chest with all the pain I'd swallowed for days.
"I hate you!" I screamed.
Another punch.
"I f*cking hate you!"
His jaw clenched. Knuckles white on the steering wheel.
"Why didn't you tell me?! Why didn't you just f*cking tell me?!"
Tears blurred everything. I couldn't breathe.
"You took them away without a word! You knew how much they meant to me—how could you just—just remove them like they were nothing?! Like I was nothing!"
Another hit to his chest.
I was shaking, voice cracked, every emotion I had buried erupting like a volcano.
"I'm so tired, Taehyung… I'm tired of pretending to be okay. Of being strong, mature, guarded…"
I gasped between sobs, looking out the window, gripping my arms.
"Do you even know what it feels like? To always be scared of loving someone… because deep down I know they'll leave? Or worse—they'll change and hurt me just like everyone else did?"
He didn't respond.
Just drove faster, tighter. But I could see it—his chest rising too quick. His breath uneven. Like he was drowning too.
I leaned my head back, still trembling.
"I hate you…"
It came out quieter this time.
"But I hate myself more… for caring this much…"
I laughed bitterly, a hollow sound in the darkness.
"I wish I didn't grow attached. I wish I never let those cubs into my heart. Or you."
///
SCREECH.
The car jerked to the side, tires kicking dust as he pulled over abruptly.
"Enough," he finally growled, slamming the gear into park.
He turned to me, eyes dark, voice rough. "You're drunk, reckless, and out of your goddamn mind right now."
I didn't care.
I didn't listen.
I turned to him with venom in my glare, chest rising and falling like I was about to explode again. And I did.
"You don't get to talk like you care!" I hissed. "You don't get to act like I'm the crazy one when you're the one who keeps breaking me!"
He reached forward, maybe to hold me, maybe to calm me.
But I snapped.
I bit his shoulder.
Hard.
He cursed under his breath, pulling back. But I didn't stop. My nails dug into his arm, and when he tried to catch my wrists—I bit his hand.
Wild. Unapologetic. Teary eyes and flushed cheeks.
"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" I screamed, fists pounding against his chest again.
His voice rose. "Stop it! What the hell is wrong with you?!"
I stared at him, lips trembling, eyes burning.
"You wanna know what's wrong with me?" I spat. "You are!"
I pushed him hard. He didn't budge.
"You forced me into this marriage."
"Then you pretended to care, faked love, whispered things like I mattered—then left me behind again and again!"
"You ignored me! Humiliated me! Made me feel like a fool!"
I sobbed, voice cracking, yet full of rage.
"And when I finally… finally let my walls down—even for a second—you took the only thing that brought me peace and ripped it away without a single word!"
Tears streamed down my cheeks, mixed with mascara and shame.
"You used me. Used the cubs. Flirted with university girls like I didn't exist! Like I was invisible! Like I'm just some damn burden stuck in your house!"
He stayed silent, his face unreadable.
But I wasn't done.
"You left me alone that day, too. When I needed you most."
My voice cracked into a whisper.
"Why does life always hurt me like this?"
"Why does it keep humiliating me?"
I slumped back in my seat, defeated and trembling, forehead against the cold window, fists curled on my lap.
Soft, bitter—
"I should have never come into your life."
///
Before he could say a single word…
CLICK.
I unlocked the door with shaking hands, threw it open, and stepped out.
"I'm done."
He reached for me.
"Wait—!"
But I was already gone.
The wind slammed the door behind me as I took off into the storm.
The sky roared with thunder, as if it heard the scream I couldn't let out.
Rain. Heavy. Soaking me within seconds.
My heels stumbled into the mud as I walked blindly down the roadside, arms wrapped tightly around myself.
Tears already streaming, hidden now by the downpour.
I didn't know where I was going.
Didn't care.
I just needed to get away.
From him.
From everything.
From the pain choking me like a noose.
Behind me, the car door flung ope
The rain slapped my skin like punishment, soaking me from head to toe.
My breath came out in short, ragged gasps as I trudged forward, the world around me a blur of water and headlights.
My vision spun.
My legs—weak. Knees wobbling.
Each step felt heavier than the last.
I slipped.
My ankle twisted on the edge of the road—
"Ah—!"
A cry tore from my throat as I stumbled forward.
My palms hit the cold, wet pavement.
My knees scraped against gravel.
I stayed there, trembling, drenched, gasping.
I tried to stand.
But my body wouldn't listen.
Everything hurt—
my chest, my head, my heart.
The dizziness swirled. The rain blurred my eyes shut.
And then—black.
My body gave out.
I collapsed right there, in the middle of the road.
Too tired to move.
Too broken to care.
And the last thing I heard before everything faded—
"____!!"
His voice.
Running.
Yelling.
Frantic.
But I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.
I heard him yell my name.
I didn't stop.
The road blurred with water, headlights streaking through the darkness.
Each step felt heavy, cold seeping into my bones.
But I welcomed it.
Maybe the storm will finally wash it all away.
The ache. The rage. The memories.
My fists were clenched. Jaw tight. Breath shaking.
I was shivering. Crying. Angry. Lost.
But I kept walking.
Because turning back meant listening.
And I didn't want to hear another lie.