"But nothing. Max, look at you mate. You're not an indecisive person. From what I've seen. Look at you! You left a four-year relationship. You were ready to marry someone, you trusted her. You called some random stranger from a number on a flyer, you met that stranger, and lets be real.
"No way did you not think this was sketchy, at least once. But you trusted something. Maybe my dashing good looks. Maybe my crooked grin. But you took a chance. Not every chance pans out mate. Life gets freaking ruff." Dillon said with a crooked grin.
"I'd consider that more desperation." I said under my breath but couldn't stop the smile creeping onto my face. Dillon let me go then gave a light punch.
"Don't sell yourself short mate, I mean seriously, I haven't been able to hold onto a girl for more than a few weeks. You were committed to someone for four years. No matter what she was like, that says something about you." Dillon added with a second punch, just strong enough to rock my body.
I snorted, "Yeah, stupid enough to be cheated on for over a year."
"You can't control what another person does mate, it sucks, it seriously sucks. But you held down two jobs, bought and paid off a car, bought a ring, you were planning a wedding. Max, you were rocking it. Now, look at you. Come on dude, you paid to break your lease, jumped on a bus, and met the magnificent me. That's gotta be a silver lining right?" Dillon teased with another light punch.
"Max, you found three random strangers who came to your apartment to check it out. If nothing else, you've got a free place to stay for another week. You still trusted me, you trusted two scary ass giants. At any time you could've noped out of the situation. You said you have two brothers, your parents. You had options. You have options. Sure, you're in a bit of a rut, but you might have a job as early as tomorrow. What made you pick up that flyer and call me?" Dillon asked after waving to the apartment.
I hesitated, "Uh, well, the flyer… the cheap rent…"
Dillon grinned, "Dude, we've passed five hundred flyers claiming to offer free rent, great job opportunities, or hot chicks. I know that motel area, every light pole is covered in flyers. What made you pick mine?"
I shrugged, "I dunno, my gut… I just… looked up and there it was."
Dillon grinned, "Yeah, your gut. You trusted your gut. You saw me in a diner, and what made you stay? Other than my stink stank gym bag?"
I felt the grin, "Well, free food. And, I dunno, my head kept screaming it was too good to be true. Or that you were going to sell my kidney."
Dillon burst out laughing, "For real? Dang! And you still followed me to the apartment?" He asking still laughing, then he opted for a more serious look, "What made you follow me up those steps Max?"
I took my time before answering, "My gut… something told me to trust you, even when my head was screaming to leave, and… well, I went with it."
Dillon grinned, "Trust your gut mate, before you trust a stranger, before you trust anyone. You have to be able to trust yourself."
I let out a laugh, "Even if I'm crazy? Or paranoid?"
Dillon gave me a solemn look, "Especially if you're crazy or paranoid. Whatever is making you feel that way, only you can make a change. If you really get to a point where you don't trust your own gut, or judgement, then finding someone who's judgement you can trust, that's a huge leap of faith mate. At least, it's not one I've been able to make yet."
My smile faltered, Dillon looked so earnest.
Dillon gave me a smile while he shrugged, "I've got commitment issues like you wouldn't believe. At least, since I moved here, I've gotten better about work, school, and even to myself. Maybe you'll find someone you trust more than you trust yourself. We're not the same person, hell, just the idea of marriage gives me goosebumps."
I grinned, "I want someone, I… hate being alone. Maybe that's why it took me so long to realize… maybe… I just ignored all the signs."
Dillon half nodded, half shrugged, "You trusted her. When you realized she wasn't the one, you left. Don't let someone bash on you, because she did something wrong. Don't sell yourself short, you are the one you can make happy at the end of the day. You want marriage. Ain't nothing wrong with that mate, I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for marriage. You know what you want, you're working toward it. Sure, everyone needs a little help from time to time, but Max. You are going to rock this."
I gave a half-hearted smile.
"Max, you are going to rock this. If you don't trust yourself, then just this once, trust me. Now, catch me up on this Ripper documentary, then we'll watch the rest, or, if you're in a binge mood, we can start from episode one. What say you?" Dillon asked with a dramatic wink as he tilted the computer so it didn't catch any glares.
That night I slept like a baby, but dang did I have the weirdest dreams. Well, they kind of made sense. I was stressed, so of course now that Dillon had been here for my emotional breakdown, it wasn't a surprise Dillon was defending me in my dreams.
I was in that floaty state, where I was aware I was dreaming, even able to control a bit, but was mostly along for the ride. It was a vivid one too. I was still laying in bed, but I saw Dillon through the crack in the door.
Dillon was talking to seven stuffed animals, but they were floating around him. It was a one sided conversation, or maybe I just couldn't hear the stuffed animals talking back.
"You're right, facts don't care about feelings. But! The fact is that he's feeling scared." Dream Dillon hissed gesticulating at the floating dolls in irritation. Some of the dolls were moving up and down, as if they were responding but I didn't hear anything.
"Of course crying doesn't fix things, but it's a great way to let out pent up emotions, it means he feels comfortable enough, safe enough, to let those emotions out. So back off." Dream Dillon hissed making the white horse doll shrink away. The pink fox brushed its tail over Dream Dillon's face.
"I'm just exasperated… just, don't do anything else. He needs to adapt before knowing. Not be scared off and sent running for the hills." Dream Dillon sighed as he hugged the fox doll, playing with its ears.
I felt the dream changing, soon I was in what I thought was a desert, gold brown as far as the eye could see, but the ground was… squishy. Not beach sand between your toes squishy, but… walking over a bed squishy.
After a moment, I realized they were pancakes, the brown dog and black bear dolls were pouring syrup over giant pancakes larger than a mountain. The bear ripped chunks off, easily eating a pancake mountain in moments.
The brown dog rolled the pancakes like burritos, scarfing them down as if he were a thousand year old hungry ghost. After eating its fill, the bear fell asleep and I was walking through its fur, only I was as tiny as a flea. I was looking for… something. Then I woke up.
I lay in bed staring at the ceiling recalling the dream. Well, that was weird.
As I glanced out of my room, I heard the light tingling of a bell…