AN: Releasing a bit early. Don't forget the powerstones lol.
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[Christmas Morning – 9:00 AM, Malibu Balcony]
The sun was already working hard by the time Charlie stirred. A salty breeze drifted in from the ocean, mixing with the distant sounds of waves and a Christmas playlist playing softly through the Bluetooth speaker.
Charlie was sprawled on the lounge chair. He had the look of a man who'd survived a very specific natural disaster. The kind that involved cosplay, bedroom yoga, and repeated hydration breaks.
Lisa lay next to him, stretched out like a cat who had just conquered the top of the food chain. Her golden bikini shimmered under the sun, a cold beer resting in her hand, condensation trailing down her fingers. She took a slow sip, then reached out with her foot and nudged Charlie's leg.
"You dead?" she asked lazily.
"Nope," he muttered, eyes still closed. "Just recharging for tonight. You drained my soul last night. Pretty sure I left my spine somewhere between the hallway and the headboard."
Lisa smiled. "That's what you get for asking for the reindeer roleplay."
"That was one sentence. I said you'd look hot in antlers. I didn't think we'd end up playing Santa's Secret Regret until 4 AM."
Lisa chuckled and took another sip. "Well, you kept asking if I was on the naughty list."
Charlie cracked an eye open. "You were the list."
They sat in a comfortable silence after that. The kind that only came from mutual exhaustion and complete satisfaction. Below them, the beach stretched out like a lazy dog in the sun. In the living room, the Christmas tree stood by the window, decorated in chaotic perfection. The star on top leaned slightly to the left, thanks to Lisa's tequila-fueled decorating idea at 1 AM.
Tonight was the party. Charlie and Lisa decided to keep it small without inviting unnecessary baggage.
Alan wasn't invited. That was still a sore subject, but the vote had been unanimous. Berta had said it best: "If Zippy shows up with that fake smile and another gluten-free fruitcake, he might not return home again."
Charlie's mom wasn't coming either. She was still banned after her last visit when she fucked her clients in his house and left without cleaning up the mess.
"Is Berta really bringing her daughter?" Lisa asked, adjusting her sunglasses.
Charlie nodded. "That's what she said. Quote, 'She's coming for the free food and to avoid getting pregnant by that street magician again.'"
Lisa blinked. "Wait! Didn't he leave her?"
Charlie raised his eyebrows. "Well, last time I heard from Berta, he was arrested for selling drugs, but due to a lack of evidence, the cops let him go, and now he's back again to seduce her. I guess he just wants whatever money she has left."
"Dang! That's a messy situation," She said with a sigh. "Poor Berta."
..
A few minutes later, a familiar voice carried up from the sand.
"HEY, LOVE ZOMBIES! GET YOUR HALF-DEAD ASSES DOWN HERE!"
Charlie got up with a yawn. He walked over the railings and looked down.
Laura stood barefoot in the sand, hands on her hips, ocean breeze tossing her newly dyed hair like it was in a shampoo commercial. The black-and-blue shades shimmered in the sun, matching her electric-blue bikini that could only be described as criminal in six states. A shiny little naval piercing caught the light. The tattoos snaking along her hips and arms completed the picture like a scandalous art exhibit.
She did a quick spin, arms out like she was presenting herself on The Price Is Right.
"Whaddaya think?" she yelled up. "Hot or 'should be arrested for public temptation'?"
Charlie couldn't help but get excited as he saw her. "Can I vote twice?"
Laura grinned and pointed at him. "You still got taste, Harper. Now get your sun-fried asses down here!"
Charlie looked at Lisa. Lisa looked back without moving her sunglasses.
"Why not?" she said with a shrug. "It's been a while."
...
[Beach] [A few minutes later]
Charlie was in the water, trying very hard not to drown, but also trying not to look like someone trying not to drown.
"You're splashing like a drunk seal," Lisa called out, bobbing effortlessly just a few feet away. Her golden bikini sparkled every time she moved. She made floating look like a sport. Or a gift.
"I'm treading," Charlie shot back, arms flailing slightly as he tried to stay vertical. "This is textbook treading."
Laura swam past him like a shark in human form. She arched her back, flipped underwater, then popped up in front of him with a smirk. "If that's textbook, someone needs to burn the book."
Charlie coughed as a rogue wave hit him in the face. "I'm doing great, thanks for asking. I'm practically one with the ocean."
"You're one with panic," Laura said, flicking a handful of water at his face. "This is not what lifeguards wanna see on Christmas morning."
Lisa swam up and floated backward beside him, her chin barely above water. "You need floaties."
"I had floaties as a kid," Charlie muttered. "One popped. Nearly died. Scarred me forever."
Laura squinted. "That explains a lot, actually."
"I don't see you winning any Olympic medals," Charlie said.
"I don't have to," she replied. "I just have to not look like I'm being attacked by invisible jellyfish."
Lisa snorted. "To be fair, he's lasted longer in here than last time."
Charlie perked up. "See? Improvement."
"Last time," Lisa continued, "he screamed, 'I think something touched me' and bolted out of the water like a cartoon goat."
Charlie crossed his arms, then quickly uncrossed them because he started to sink. "That thing was invisible. I don't know what it was. It could've been seaweed. Or a tiny sea monster."
Laura splashed him again. "That was my foot. I was kinda aiming for the little Charlie to tease, but missed."
"Oh," Charlie said, blinking. "Well. Apologies to your terrifying aquatic toes."
Suddenly, a larger wave rolled in. Laura and Lisa ducked beneath it like pros. Charlie tried to ride it like a dolphin. He failed. It smacked him in the face, flipped him sideways, and dunked him with all the gentleness of a folding chair to the head.
Lisa popped up and pointed. "Man down!"
Charlie emerged seconds later, sputtering and flailing toward shallower water.
"Abort ocean!" he gasped. "Ocean doesn't want me!"
Laura was doubled over with laughter. Lisa swam to shore with a grin.
Charlie finally made it to the shallows and collapsed backward into the wet sand, arms out like he'd just finished a triathlon.
"Tell my story," he wheezed. "Say I died bravely."
Lisa flopped down next to him. "You swam twenty feet."
"Heroically," he added.
Laura plopped down on his other side, water dripping from her hair. "You good, Poseidon?"
"I'm alive," he said. "But barely."
They all stared up at the blue sky for a moment, the sound of the waves replacing their laughter.
"I'll get better," Charlie said eventually. "One day. I'll swim like a dolphin."
"You'll swim like a confused duckling," Lisa said.
"And we'll love you for it," Laura added, patting his soggy chest.
...
[Rose's Airbnb]
Behind a partially opened curtain in a beachside Airbnb that definitely wasn't listed under her real name, Rose pressed a pair of high-powered binoculars to her eyes.
Her hair was up in a tight ponytail. Her face? Set in the kind of intense focus usually reserved for snipers and unpaid interns during tax season. She shifted her position slightly, balancing one knee on a pillow she'd taken from the couch because the windowsill was cutting into her thigh.
Through the lenses, she zeroed in on Charlie, currently face down in the wet sand between two very attractive women in bikinis. He looked like a drowned man who had died smiling.
Rose zoomed in tighter. Lisa on the left, all golden and glowy like she'd just stepped out of a skincare commercial. Laura on the right, all tattoos, mischief, and the kind of bikini that probably had its own FreakyFans.
Rose didn't blink.
"Well well well," she muttered to herself. "Living your best soap opera life, I see."
Behind her on the desk sat a chaotic pile of folders, printouts, screenshots, and notes with multicolored tabs. Lisa's file was labeled "Golden Retriever Energy" and included things like "Good with kids," "Has strong glutes," "Loves Cosplay Sex," and "Suspiciously kind, probably hiding secret talent or alien identity."
Laura's file? Thicker. It had phrases like "Tattoo count: unclear," "Possible gym rat," and "Loves Charlie a lot but not more than me."
Rose had done her homework. She had even used a burner app to call Laura's tattoo studio, pretending to be a reporter doing a story on "inspirational tattoos for women over 30." She got nowhere. Laura had politely referred her to one of the assistants and then offered a discount ticket.
As for Lisa, Rose already checked up on her during Charlie's first relationship with her. She's clean. Plus zero criminal records.
Rose exhaled slowly. She lowered the binoculars and set them on the table next to her empty cereal bowl and a nearly finished pint of pistachio ice cream. Then she stared at the files again.
"They're perfect," she grumbled. "Of course they're perfect."
She paced in front of the window like a detective in an episode of Law & Order: Malibu Love Unit. Her socks made a soft shff-shff sound on the hardwood.
She stopped and looked out the window again.
They were now building a sand mermaid. Lisa shaped the tail, Laura sculpted the seashell top, and Charlie just lay there being the body. He looked too happy.
Rose went back and sat down hard on the couch and grabbed her journal. She flipped to a page titled "Reasons I'm Totally Over Charlie Harper (Probably)." She'd written this list two weeks ago and updated it every few days. Items included:
➡️ Left toothpaste cap off constantly
➡️ Snores like a jazz trombone
➡️ Flirts accidentally with waitstaff (or was it accidental?)
➡️ Once said, "We don't need dessert" (???)
But then she flipped a few more pages and found the newer, messier list titled:
"Things That Still Haunt My Hormones"
➡️ That one smile he does when he knows he's winning
➡️ Wrote a song about me and didn't even deny it
➡️ Looks like a sad puppy when tired
➡️ Somehow managed to make cargo pants hot that one time
➡️ Sex was awesome
Rose sighed dramatically and flopped backward.
"This isn't healthy," she mumbled.
She stared at the ceiling. Then she sat up. Then she flopped forward like a pancake folding in on itself.
"What if I just..." she said aloud to the empty room, "...asked to join?"
She paused. Let the idea settle.
Then she burst out laughing.
"Oh my god. Am I actually considering being... the third girlfriend?"
She stood again and pointed at her reflection in the microwave door. "Rose, you are a lot of things. You're brilliant and dangerous. You once convinced a customs officer that you were legally married to a Swedish furniture designer named Björn just to skip a line. But you are not about to become somebody's emotional sidecar."
Her reflection didn't argue. It just looked back with a half-smile like, "You sure about that?"
Rose scowled.
Then she sat down again.
Picked up the binoculars.
Zoomed in on Charlie helping Laura wash sand off her feet.
"Okay... but like... if you joined, it wouldn't be a sidecar," she said to herself, chewing the end of a pen. "It'd be more like... a love tricycle. Or a very emotionally responsible human tripod."
She flipped her journal open to a new page.
At the top, she wrote:
"Operation Maybe Get in the Throuple"
Below that:
Step 1: Do not act like a stalker (Too late)
Step 2: Text Charlie? Too soon.
Step 3: Fake beach run? Casual. Sexy. Pretend you just happened to be in the area.
Step 4: Mention therapy progress. Mention emotional maturity. Cry a little if needed. But not ugly cry.
Step 5: Compliment Lisa's hair. Compliment Laura's tattoos. Compliment yourself too. This is feminism.
She dropped the pen. Picked up the ice cream. Took a spoonful and stared out the window again.
The trio had moved on to building sandcastles now. Lisa was laughing at something Laura said. Charlie was digging like a golden retriever trying to bury a bone.
Rose sighed again, this time more dreamily.
"I mean... technically I did love him first."
And with that, she reached for her phone.
But not to text.
First, she Googled, "Best swimsuits for casual but flirty beach stalking."
Then she added to cart.
Game on.
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[6 advance chs] [All chs available for all tiers] [No double billing.]
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