Meredith Masony Parenting: The Ultimate Contradiction (And a Roast for the Judgmental)
You ever notice how parenting is just one big contradiction?
We tell our kids, "Love is beautiful! Most important thing!"
Then, "But don't you dare date until you're married!"
How are they supposed to learn about love if locked up?
That's like giving someone a car and hiding the keys.
Then they turn 18, catch freedom, jump into the first relationship-
good, bad, or toxic-because nobody taught them to take time,
set boundaries, or figure out what they actually want.
Desperate to feel something, they settle for anything,
and that's how abusive situations happen-not just evil people,
but because experience is the best teacher, and we never
gave them a chance to learn.
It's not just love. We say, "Be kind to everyone!"
But also, "Look out for yourself because nobody else will."
So which is it? Be a saint or be a shark?
Kids are trying to solve an emotional Rubik's Cube we handed them,
each side painted a different color of mixed messages.
Let's talk about the language police. Parents act like if
they just bleep out the word "f***," it disappears forever.
Newsflash: your kid knows every swear word you do-maybe more.
The real lesson isn't pretending those words don't exist;
it's teaching them when and how to use them.
"Have a great fing day!"-that's positive energy!
But "F you!"-maybe not, unless it's a joke with friends.
Context is everything.
Here's the kicker: parents want kids to open up and be honest,
but the moment a kid makes a mistake, suddenly it's
like they're auditioning for a crime drama. Kids learn fast-
better to keep secrets than risk dragging friends into trouble.
But when you offer amnesty, you find out your kid's
got access to more drugs than you did in college by first grade!
And sharing? Yeah, it's caring-especially when it's a group
project in felony charges.
And look, I'm not going to lie-I like my kids
better when they're high. Honestly, we get along way better
when I'm high too. Suddenly, their "open up" sessions turn
into chill hangouts instead of full-on interrogations.
But here's the deal I make with my son:
if you're going to make the grown-up decision to get high,
then make the grown-up decision to care about your future
and your education. You don't have to get good grades-
as long as you try. That's all I ask.
Take responsibility for your choices. You want freedom?
It comes with accountability.
And let's get real-my son may have had sex at 12:00,
but he only ever saw me be abused by every man
I was ever with. So for the fact that he even
knows what love is, let alone how to love,
I win. That's a victory. Breaking the cycle, even a little,
is everything.
I told my son, "Virginity is a gift-you only give it once,
and you can't get it back. So give it to someone
who respects you, because you're setting the bar for
the rest of your life, whether you stay together or not."
Then I told his girlfriend, "If he messes up, you come
get me. I'll take that bar and smack some sense
into him myself. Welcome to the family!"
And honestly, they came to me together-that's how I know
this amnesty thing works. When kids know they can
make a mistake at home without it ruining their lives,
they're safer than if they mess up out in public
where one wrong move could end up on their record.
The Judgmental Crowd: A Roast
Now, let's talk about those Harper Valley jackasses-the ones
who sit on their high horses, ready to judge every parent
who doesn't fit their perfect little mold. They act like
the PTA is the moral Supreme Court. Well, if you think
you can do better, how about we skip the PTA
and start an ETA-Experienced Teachers Association-because I guarantee
someone else could show up and actually teach a thing
or two about real life.
I dare any of these critics to walk in my shoes
for two minutes. Try raising kids in the real world-
no handbook, and the only rule is "do your best
and pray they don't end up on a Netflix documentary."
Just bleeping out the word "f***" at home doesn't mean
your kids don't know it. They're going to say it anyway-
so maybe teach them when it's appropriate, like "Have a great
fing day!" instead of "F you!" (unless it's to a good
friend-then hey, context is key).
And let's not forget the judgmental types who love to
look down their noses at everyone who's been broken and
beaten down by this world. You know the type-perched on
imaginary thrones, noses so high they need oxygen masks,
looking down on the rest of us like bouncers at
the gates of heaven. Always ready to pass judgment, especially
from a safe distance, as if getting too close to
real life might mess up their perfectly polished halos.
It's funny, isn't it? They act like they're the admissions
committee for paradise, ready to slam the door on anyone
who's been broken, battered, or bruised by the world-never
mind that half the scars people carry were handed out
by their own sharp tongues and cold shoulders.
They'll break you down, grind you into the dirt,
then have the audacity to ask, "Why are you crawling?"
as if they didn't just pull the rug out from under you.
And when those same people-crushed by a world of judgment-
show up at heaven's door, desperate for a scrap of
acceptance, what do these self-appointed gatekeepers expect God to do?
Kick them while they're down? Slam the door in their face?
That's not divine justice; that's just cruelty with a choir robe.
It's like snapping a stick over your knee, then marching
into the forest and demanding the tree fix it-or worse,
blaming the stick for not being whole anymore. Newsflash:
the stick didn't ask to be snapped, and the tree
isn't in the business of banishing its own branches just
because you couldn't handle them.
So here's a message for all the high-and-mighty judges:
Maybe it's time to climb down off your pedestal, wipe
the fog off your glasses, and remember everyone's got a story,
and most are written in scars you can't see from
way up there. Because if you think heaven's just for
the unbroken, you're going to be real lonely at the party.
So what if someone's been beaten down by the world?
So what if they're begging for acceptance? Maybe, just maybe,
the real test isn't how perfectly you can judge,
but how deeply you can love. And if you're still
holding that stick, maybe it's time to plant it
and see if something beautiful can grow.
Final Word
So next time you want to judge a parent-or anyone else-
remember: it's easy to point fingers from the bleachers.
But it takes guts to get on the field and play.
I promise you wouldn't last a day in my house-
and you sure as hell wouldn't do a better job
with these kids or with life's messiness.
Welcome to my Harper Valley-where we raise kids, not hypocrites,
and where love means more than judgment.
P.S. Tiffany Jenkins, I dare you to be honest-do you
still take pills, just as long as there's access and
it's reasonable, and you don't have to fear anything?
Because lack of access, fear of punishment, and fear of
judgment are the only reasons people do stupid sh*t.
It's not about the drug or needing something for pain.
How about, instead of lying, we heal people correctly
by saying our actual truth?
Connect with Tiffany Jenkins:
Website: jugglingthejenkins.com
YouTube: Juggling the Jenkins
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No public email address is listed on her official platforms.
For inquiries, use her website contact form or social media DMs.
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#loveoverjudgment #parentingtruths #momhumor #keepitreal #mentalhealthmatters
#amnesty #raisekidsnothypocrites