Kazuki had been part of exactly one group project in his old life, and it ended with someone crying, someone cheating, and him submitting a presentation with the title slide still labeled "Insert Title Here."
This was somehow worse.
Vera walked six feet ahead of the group like their presence gave her hives. Her black cloak swished dramatically with every aggressive step, and she hadn't spoken since they'd left town. Not one word. Just side-eye and judgment.
Darin, on the other hand, had not stopped talking.
"Okay, but hear me out," he said, swinging his sword like he was auditioning for a one-man musical. "What if we name our squad something cool? Like 'Team Dragon Storm.' Or 'Blade Justice.' Something that makes people say, 'Wow, those guys are probably in a light novel.'"
Kazuki stared at him. "I was thinking more like 'Team Pending Therapy.'"
"Eh, doesn't roll off the tongue."
Mistral yawned from his perch in Kazuki's hood. "I vote for Team Failure Pile. Accurate, efficient, and impossible to brand."
Their first group quest was a low-tier escort job. A traveling potion merchant named Eddo, whose entire personality seemed to be "nervous sweating," needed protection on the road to a nearby village.
"Just bandits," the quest summary said."Minimal danger," the guild rep said."You'll be fine," Grelka had said, before laughing for five solid minutes.
Now, three hours into the job, the cart wheel was broken, Eddo was missing a shoe, and something was howling in the woods.
"This was supposed to be simple!" Kazuki shouted, smacking the wagon wheel with his ladle.
Darin looked delighted. "Bandits and wolves? Jackpot! Time to prove our worth."
Vera sighed. "Why are you like this."
[Warning: Enemy Presence Detected – Hostile Units Nearby]
Kazuki pulled up his system panel. "Okay, yeah, danger confirmed. Either that or my trauma meter's finally got a UI."
Seconds later, they were surrounded.
Six bandits. Dirty armor. Cheap swords. One of them had an eye patch and an aura that screamed "I think I'm cool but I'm actually budget DLC."
"Hand over the goods!" the leader snarled. "Or we take 'em off your corpses!"
Darin grinned. "He sounds like a boss fight."
Kazuki muttered, "I hope he drops something better than depression."
Vera raised a hand. Magic pulsed in the air around her.
Kazuki said, "Wait, should we try talking first?"
She didn't wait.
Combat began.
Vera opened with a lightning spell so violent it briefly recharged Kazuki's phone. The lead bandit screamed and immediately regretted his life choices.
Darin dove into the fray, blade spinning, laughing like this was karaoke night.
Kazuki joined in. Badly. He smacked a bandit in the ribs with his ladle and got punched in return.
[You have taken 8 damage.][Pain Conversion Activated – EXP gained: 4]
"Not worth it!" Kazuki yelped, diving behind the cart.
Mistral peeked out of his hood. "Your combat strategy is 'apply damage to face.'"
"Shut up, cat."
Ten minutes later, the bandits were unconscious, dead, or running very fast away from whatever Vera was muttering under her breath. The forest smelled faintly of ozone and unfulfilled dreams.
Eddo the merchant peeked out from under the cart. "Are they gone?"
Darin gave him a thumbs-up. "They're gone. You're safe. Probably!"
Vera sat down on a rock and muttered a spell under her breath. Her cloak steamed from leftover lightning.
Kazuki collapsed next to her. "So... we're a team now."
She didn't look at him. "Don't make it weird."
Mistral sighed dramatically. "This is going to be a disaster. I love it already."