I had been a month at this fun, and as in Charlotte's case seemed
not getting on at all, my experience was confined to one woman, and
naturally I used to compare everything taking place, with what had taken
place with her. To my inexperienced mind, there was a difference between
the two women which I could not understand: when I first got my hand up
Charlotte's clothes, she was as quick as me, struggled, screeched, and
got my hand away, seemed in dread and astonished. When I got my hand on
Mary's flesh, which I did repeatedly afterwards, she would turn round
quite quietly, remove my hand with force, look at me as if she were
collecting her thoughts, did not seem at all alarmed, but gave me a
lecture. When she kissed me afterwards, it seemed to be upon reflection,
but she did it with force, looked me full in the face, then turned away.
One day she said, "I would not leave a sister of mine here, if she were
young, for five times my wages, but I am old enough to keep you in your
place."
Soon after mother was one day out, I at home, housemaid and Tom in
the garden; it was a clear, bright day, there was a fire in the garden
parlour, the garden window-door was shut, and I bolted it; it was about
half-past three o'clock, the cook was dressing, I burning with lust,
went to my bed-room, opposite then to her door and listened. I heard
the rattle of piddle, excitement got the better of my fears, I knocked.
"It's not locked," she called out, thinking it was the housemaid; I
opened the door, went in and closed it.
She was standing before the glass brushing her hair, with but stays on;
over her chemise, I saw at a glance big white breasts, and big white
legs up to her knees. She turned round, and seeing me, put her hands up
to cover her breasts, stepped backwards till the bedstead stopped
her, and said, "Go out, mister Walter," but I threw my arms round her,
clasping her tightly and kissing her on her breasts before she could
repeat her request, and said, "Oh! do Mary, do let me."
She did not answer, but disengaged herself from my arms. Crafty with
lust and doubtless thinking of former experience, I dropped on my knees,
in an instant had her chemise up, both hands round her great bum, and my
mouth buried in the hair, kissing the outside of her cunt; she sat down
nearly crushing my hands, between her bum and the bedstead, I withdrew
them with a cry of pain.
She pushed me away; being on my knees, back I tumbled; as I did so,
caught her chemise and lifted it; she put her hands down to prevent it;
I kept my hold tightly, and it tore up with a noise, to where her stays
stopped it from going further; but the rent disclosed thighs belly and
motte simultaneously. She rose, tried to hide her nakedness, and stop
the chemise going further, her legs got somehow entangled with mine, I
fell back, and she fell clean over me. As I fell, my head struck the pot
and overturned it, I felt the warm piddle round my neck and head, and
at the same instant a heavy sort of blow on my nose, and hair on my
lips--it was her naked belly and motte which struck me as she fell on
We rolled over, and struggled for a second, I saw white thighs a
huge bum, and then we were both up. She opened the window and shouted
out, "Eliza, Eliza, I want you."
Then she turned to me with her eyes wide open, her bosom palpitating,
and said, "Get out, you are a nice young blackguard, I would not have
believed it, had I not found you out." And in the same breath hurriedly,
"Oh! my God, Wattie, what is the matter?" I felt a funny trickling
sensation on my upper lip, and putting my hand up to feel, removed it
covered with blood, the result of the blow of her motte on my nose,
which was pouring down blood copiously, and dropping on to my shirt. The
sight of blood always made me furious, "It's a blow from your belly,"
said I, "you did it purposely." She saw by that time it was not serious
and said, "it serves you right, and directly your mamma comes in I will
tell her." "Do," said I. She repeated, "You are a young blackguard."
In the excitement of opening the window, calling out, and seeing my nose
bleeding, she had forgotten her torn chemise; and I had thought about
nothing but my bleeding nose. Standing by the table to open the window,
her form had been hidden, but she moved, disclosed the torn chemise,
partly one of her hips, thigh, leg, and partially the hair of her cunt.
"I can see your cunt," said I staunching my nose. She snatched up the
torn chemise, hiding herself with it. "Oh! go, go," said she, "oh! that
mess, what shall I do!" and she stopped to set up the piss-pot which was
laying on one side; I rushed forward, nose still bleeding, and tried to
feel the half naked thigh. "For God's sake go," said she, "here is Eliza
coming." I heard Tom lumping up step by step slowly, assisted by the
housemaid, and bolted into my room.
I held the door ajar and listened. "Where is Master Walter?" said the
housemaid as she got to the top landing. "I don't know," said Mary, "is
he not in the drawing-room?" "I don't know," replied Eliza, "what do you
want?" The door closed, I heard no more, but felt sure that Mary did not
mean to tell. My nose left off bleeding, I washed it, and crept quietly
downstairs.
Eliza and Tommy went down again into the garden; shortly afterwards
down went cook into the kitchen, five minutes after down I went. It was
always dullish in the afternoon there. I had thought that I might risk,
and as I passed the door from the kitchen leading into the garden, shot
the bolt so that, had the housemaid come down that way, she could not
get in also.
Mary was sitting close to the fire. "No more nonsense I hope," said she.
There was a kiss and forgiveness soon given me, in her tranquil way.
Again I sat down on the huge kitchen fender, and the next instant was
thinking what I had best do. I had seen those wonderfully large, white
thighs, seen the thicket of lightish hair between them, had felt no
cunt fully for weeks, and was dying with lust. She was as serene as if
nothing had happened, and kissed me, but in the usual motherly sort of
way. She rose up saying, "I must begin to shut up; what is Eliza staying
out so late in the garden with that child for?" That instant I thrust
my hand up her clothes, got it on to the motte, and clutched the hair
between my fingers; it was easy enough, for it was about the longest and
thickest motte thatch I have yet felt Down she sat, and tried to push
me away, but I had firm hold of the hair, and as I did on a similar
occasion with Charlotte, pulled and hurt her; she ceased to push me
off, and there I stopped, my prick throbbing, and every fibre in me,
palpitating with the lust of long continence. Then I pulled and hurt her
again, threatening to hurt her more still unless she let me feel her;
knowing the housemaid must knock before she could get in suddenly, I was
bold.
She bore my tugs with a little flinching and never answered my
entreaties. I had found my courage, and used the words cunt and fuck; it
was getting dark; looking at me steadily, she said, "So young and yet so
cruel, five minutes ago you were saying you were so fond of me, and now
you are trying to hurt me; you promised you would not touch me again,
now you are doing it; you are all alike, young and old, cruel and
liars." I felt ashamed, but was mad with lust. "A youth like you, and so
quiet as you look." "Youth! I am a man, have had women, feel me, let me
feel you, oh! do feel me." I had my prick out. To get better at her,
go from the fender on to my knees, and was pushing my hand between her
thighs with energy. Pulling her bum back, she stooped, and her face came
near mine. "Kiss me, feel me, and I will indeed leave off, I have seen
your belly, let me feel it, and I will leave off." "You will break
your word again," said she. "I swear not." She put her face to mine and
kissed me, her right hand dropped, and gently laid hold of my prick, her
thighs just so little opened that my fingers passed the hair and felt
the smooth inner face of the lips; it was too much for me, for some
hours my prick had been standing off and on, I had been pulling it
about, longing and hoping to use it, and for a long time no emission had
left it.
I felt my sperm coming, and could not stop it, my arse jogged and
pushed my prick involuntarily between her fingers, pleasure suddenly
overwhelmed me, and kissing her I spent in her hand--all the work of
half a minute. Then burning shame came over me, I could kiss her no
longer, dared not look her in the face, nor keep my hand between her
thighs, but rose quickly and without a word rushed upstairs to my
bed-room.
I have done for myself I thought, what a beast she will think me, I
shall never dare to speak to her again, and was ready to cry; little
knowing then that every step in baudiness, is a step towards the
end, and that my spunk on her hand, would help me to shed some in her
elsewhere.
Feeling so uncomfortable I went out; calling out to the housemaid, that
I should be home about eight o'clock, went to a friend's, had dinner,
but could not talk nor scarcely eat. My friend joked and asked if I was
in love. My prick was standing again after I had eaten, I went home,
making up my mind to go to bed early, preferring solitude and my own
thoughts; it was about seven P. M., to my astonishment Mary opened the
door. I felt my face hot, and could scarcely look at her; she was
as tranquil as ever, nothing ever seemed to disturb that woman. This
tranquility reassured me, the more so when I found mother was still out.
The housemaid had gone out to make a few purchases, leaving Mary alone
with Tommy, who she was just going to put to bed, and upstairs she went
with him for that purpose, without speaking to me.
What a chance! oh! if I had not been such a beast. My prick rose stiff,
the afternoon's spend was the first I had had for a long time, a stiff
prick gives courage, and darkness helps. We are alone, she said nothing
as I spent in her hand, indeed went on kissing me when spending, what if
I ask her again? What an age she seemed putting Tommy to bed, at last I
heard her say, "Go to sleep, mamma will be home soon," and she went up
to her bed-room. She is going thought I to sit there till Eliza knocks,
and did not dare go up, but stood listening in the hall, feeling my
prick and longing;, at last I heard her coming down with slow, measured
steps. In the hall, I flung my arms around her, kissing and begging her
to forgive me. "I could not help it," said I in a whisper, "you do not
know how I longed for you." "Let me go downstairs," said she.
****
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