John sat on the edge of his bed, the soft hum of the room's quietness broken only by the occasional rustling of the pages in his textbook. His mock exams were starting the next day, and they would stretch out over the entire week. His mind had already been consumed by the pressure, but he tried to focus on the task at hand.
Normally, John was a model student. He had a sharp memory and a knack for absorbing information with ease. He didn't have to put in the same amount of effort as some of his classmates, but he still studied diligently. It wasn't because he struggled with the material—far from it. It was more because he wanted to secure his place at a prestigious university, to carve out a future for himself far from his current life. Far from his mother.
But tonight, as he sat in his room, with textbooks scattered on his desk and the flickering light of his lamp casting long shadows against the walls, a question lingered in his mind, a question he had never really thought to ask himself before.
John: So…what do I want to study in university? What do I want to do with my life?
The words felt foreign, almost absurd, as they echoed in his thoughts. He had always been so focused on getting out of his current situation—escaping the clutches of his home, the toxicity of his family dynamics—that he had never stopped to think about what he wanted for himself beyond that.
His grades, his university application, his future—they had all become nothing more than a means to an end, a way out. But now, as the pressure of his upcoming exams loomed larger, John realized just how little he had actually planned for what came after.
He ran his hand through his hair and leaned back on the bed, his gaze drifting to the ceiling. The dull white paint above seemed almost oppressive, like a blank slate he was too afraid to fill. The same fear that had pushed him to study relentlessly, to chase after success, now crept into his mind in a new way.
What was he even running toward?
A degree?
A job?
What kind of life did he want to lead?
Was he simply chasing freedom, or was there something more—something that actually mattered to him?
John sighed and for a moment before his gaze shifted to his phone, just a few inches away from him. And then he instinctively grabbed it.
******
Kana sat on her bed, her fingers fumbling awkwardly with her hair. She had been at it for hours now, attempting to tie her hair into a ponytail. The task, though simple for most, felt like a mountain to her. This was her first time trying to do it herself, and it wasn't going as planned.
Earlier that day, after her evening shower, Kana had noticed something odd. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror and was struck by the sight of her hair—longer than she had ever remembered it being. It cascaded down her back, thick and unruly, almost as if it had grown overnight. The strands brushed against her face, making her look like one of those eerie female monsters who crawled out of people's TVs in horror movies—hair tangled, wild, and frightening.
Realizing that she could no longer simply leave it loose, Kana had spent the entire evening scouring the internet for tutorials on how to tie her hair into a ponytail. Every attempt had been a disaster. She ended up with weird, unintentional knots and loops that didn't even resemble a ponytail. Jane, one of the nurses, had to step in multiple times to help her undo the mess she'd created, but Kana was determined. She couldn't let her hair get the best of her.
Jane had patiently walked her through the steps, and Kana had thought it would be easy to remember. But hours later, after Jane had gone home for the night, Kana was still struggling. She had hoped to figure it out by herself, but now, with every failed attempt, her frustration was growing.
Kana: Maybe I'm just hopeless at this.
She muttered under her breath, letting her hair slip from her hands yet again. Her fingers were sore from twisting and tugging at her thick locks, and she felt like she was running in circles.
Just as she was about to give up, her phone buzzed on the bed next to her. The sudden interruption startled her, but she quickly reached over with one hand to answer it, keeping the other firmly on her hair.
It was John.
Gamerboy115
> Hey…
The familiar voice on the other end made Kana smile despite herself & she responded, continuing to wrestle with her hair.
Lonelygirl4556
> Hey…what's up?
John paused before replying, his voice lazy but warm.
Gamerboy115
> Nothing much. Was just studying and thought I'd check in. What about you?
Kana scoffed softly, her lips curling into a grin.
Lonelygirl4556
> Nothing much. Just a little bit occupied…
John's curiosity piqued.
Gamerboy115
Oh yeah? With what?
Kana's cheeks puffed out in frustration as she tried once more to smooth her hair into something that resembled a ponytail. She gave up on the task for a second and rolled her eyes at the phone.
Lonelygirl4556
> I'm trying to tie my hair into a ponytail.
John's voice immediately turned incredulous.
Gamerboy115
> Wait… seriously? Why? I want to see it.
She raised an eyebrow, a mix of amusement and exasperation crossing her face.
Lonelygirl4556
> I'm not quite done yet… and why are you calling me? You've got mock exams tomorrow, don't you? You should be studying, not talking to me.
John smirked at her teasing tone.
Gamerboy115
> Oh? But if I remember correctly, a certain someone threw a fit over me not reaching out to them.
Kana's face instantly flushed with embarrassment, and she muttered an unintelligible string of words under her breath.
Lonelygirl4556
> SHUT UP, YOU IDIOT!
John chuckled at the familiar sound of her flustered voice. He could hear the light teasing beneath the irritation, and it made him feel oddly content.
Despite herself, Kana puffed her cheeks out in annoyance. It wasn't so much the hair that bothered her anymore; it was John's constant teasing. She'd made another mistake while tying her hair, and now it was just another obstacle to add to her growing list.
Lonelygirl4556
> You should go study. Mock exams are important, aren't they?
Gamerboy115
> Yeah, yeah, vut I've got a good memory, so I'll be fine.
Kana raised an eyebrow, impressed by how confident he sounded.
Lonelygirl4556
> You sound confident.
Gamerboy115
> I am,I'll treat these exams like all the others—ace it easily."
He paused, and Kana could almost hear him hesitating.
Gamerboy115
> It's not like I really know exactly what I want to do… with my life.
Kana blinked in surprise. She had expected him to be full of jokes or distractions, but his words caught her off guard.
Lonelygirl4556
> What do you mean?
John sighed, his voice quieting as he leaned back against his pillow.
Gamerboy115
> For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to get away from my mom. I've always been focused on getting a job that keeps me out of the house, doing well in school so that the school wouldn't have to call her, acing my exams… But as I was studying just now, it hit me—I've been so focused on running away from my home, but I don't even know where I want to go or what I want to do once I'm out.
Kana's heart softened at his honesty. Her own situation, though different, had felt similarly uncertain, as if she was running toward something without fully understanding what that "something" was. She shifted on her bed, her legs now crossed beneath her as she listened intently to him.
John continued, the weight of his words sinking in.
Gamerboy115
> I was always planning my escape, but I didn't stop to think about why or what I was running toward. I guess I never really thought about what comes after.
Kana felt a pang of empathy for him as she could relate to what he was saying.
Lonelygirl4556
> You know… I've had those same thoughts, but not exactly in the same way.
She replied, her voice quieter now. She had put down her hair for the moment and stared at the floor as she thought about her own situation.
Lonelygirl4556
> I've never really thought about what I want to do with my life, either. With my sickness, it's… it's just a matter of time before…
Her voice faltered, and she squeezed the blanket in her lap, trying to hold herself together.
Lonelygirl4556
> ...my heart will give out and destroy any plans I might have or want to have.
There was a long pause on the line. Kana could almost feel the sadness on the other side of the phone, as John processed her words.
Lonelygirl4556: …but after I got this phone, started Twibbler, gained followers, and met people like Dr. Kennedy, Jane, Rose, and you, my life started feeling worthwhile, even if it's not exactly ordinary. So … I take it one step at a time. That's what I do. I don't think about the big stuff too much. I just focus on the little things, the things that make each day worth it.
She sighed, remembering all the moments she'd shared with the people who mattered most to her—her doctor, Jane, Rose, and, of course, John.
Lonelygirl4556
> Maybe, eventually, something will come along and take away all the worries I have inside.
John didn't respond immediately. Instead, Kana could hear him shifting on the bed, as if contemplating her words.
After a long silence, John finally spoke.
Gamerboy115
> 'Take it one step at a time,' huh? I guess I can try doing that. Thanks.
Kana couldn't help but smile wider now, teasing once more.
Lonelygirl4556
> I'm like an old lady, full of wisdom and understanding.
John teased, his voice laced with amusement.
Gamerboy115
> Are you glazing yourself right now?
Kana laughed softly, a genuine, light sound that filled the room.
Lonelygirl4556
> Do you want to switch to a video call? You still wanna see the ponytail, right?
John's excitement was palpable.
Gamerboy115
> Yes! Of course!
But then Kana hesitated, rolling her eyes playfully.
Lonelygirl4556
> But… you'll have to wait for a while, 'cause I need to start tying my hair all over again.
John quickly shot back, his voice eager.
Gamerboy115
> W-What if I said that watching you tie your hair sounds like the best part? I promise I won't blink.
Kana's heart skipped a beat at his words. Despite her irregular heartbeat, she couldn't deny the warmth that spread through her chest. How could she say no to him now?
She replied softly, a teasing smile playing at her lips.
Lonelygirl4556
> Well, since this is what you want…
There was a brief silence as Kana prepared herself to look good for the call. John, on the other hand, sat on the edge of his bed, eagerly waiting. His nerves were palpable, and he felt a strange flutter in his stomach.
Finally, the video call switched, and their faces appeared on the screen, both of them ready—Kana to tie her hair, and John to watch, both unaware of just how much this small moment would mean.
*****
Kana gently placed her phone on the edge of her bed, angling it just right so John could see her clearly. She could sense his eyes fixed on the screen, his gaze hungry, as if the scene unfolding before him was more than just a simple moment—it was a performance. And in a way, it was.
Kana exhaled deeply, steadying herself as she reached for the rubber band Jane had given her earlier. She lifted her arms behind her head, gathering her long strands of hair, slowly pulling them together with the delicate precision of someone who had perfected the gesture over time. Her fingers worked methodically, collecting the soft strands into a makeshift ponytail.
As she did so, the edge of her hospital gown shifted slightly. The material tugged away from her skin, revealing the curve of her chest, the soft swell of her breasts peeking out from beneath the short sleeve.
It was a fleeting moment, an accidental exposure, but to John, it felt like a subtle invitation. His breath hitched as his eyes locked on the sight, his throat constricting with a sudden tightness. He swallowed hard, unable to tear his gaze away.
Kana noticed his stare and, without breaking her composure, allowed him to look. She could see the way his eyes lingered, how his expression shifted from one of mild curiosity to something more intense, something that carried a trace of desire. She could almost feel the tension between them, despite the distance. If only there were no screens between them, she thought. If only she could close the gap, feel his presence in the same room...
The thought sent a warmth fluttering through her chest, but she quickly pushed it aside, focusing instead on her task.
Kana continued tying her hair, her movements fluid and graceful. She worked slowly, almost as though performing for him, letting her hands trace the curve of her neck and the contours of her jaw as she finished gathering her hair. The moonlight spilled through the window, casting silver rays that highlighted the gentle movement of her arms. Each motion felt deliberate, almost mesmerizing, like she was crafting a moment out of thin air, something for him to remember.
John, completely captivated, couldn't look away. His eyes remained locked on her, his cheeks warming with every passing second. The longer he watched, the harder it became to breathe normally. His mind raced as he tried to hold onto his composure, but the sight of her—her beauty, her elegance—took the air right out of his lungs.
When Kana finally finished, pulling the rubber band tight and securing her hair neatly, she gave a small smile to the camera. She looked so effortlessly beautiful, like a painting that had come to life.
Lonelygirl4556
> Tada.
But John didn't respond—not at first. He couldn't. He was too lost in her. His mind scrambled for words, but nothing felt strong enough. His heart pounded like it might leap out of his chest. He wished, more than anything in that moment, that there wasn't a screen separating them. That he could reach out, brush a hand against her cheek, and tell her all of this—face to face.
Kana noticed the way he was staring. She could see it even through the high quality of the phone camera. The way his lips parted slightly. The flush rising to his cheeks. The look in his eyes that made her own heart flutter wildly.
And then, she blushed.
The red blossomed on her cheeks as she looked down, pretending not to notice—but secretly loving the way he was looking at her.
Lonelygirl4556
> Well… aren't you going to say something?
John snapped out of his trance, his fingers moving faster than his brain.
Gamerboy115
> BEAUTIFUL.
Kana's cheeks burned instantly as she heard the word, his word. The one that made her feel seen, appreciated. Her chest tightened as she felt herself turning red, a rush of heat flooding her face.
She turned slightly to the side, not wanting him to see how embarrassed she was, how much his words had affected her. She quickly hid her face behind her hands, the soft warmth of her palms brushing against her cheeks as if to cool the sudden rush of emotion.
Lonelygirl4556
> Is that so?
John scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, wishing he had said more. Wishing he could say it again—louder this time.
For the next five minutes, neither of them said a word. But their silence wasn't empty.
They spent the time stealing glances at each other.