"How did Nurhaci get those thirteen suits of armor he started out with?"
"Pa! Dear audience, lend me your ears and I'll tell you the tale!"
"Many years later, when he stood before the cannons of Ningyuan City, Nurhaci would remember that afternoon when his father took him to General Li Chengliang's tent to sell trenches."
"Know why Nurhaci kept that rat-tail braid? Because that hairstyle made it easy for Li Chengliang to grab his braid with one hand and smack his butt with the other."
"Nurhaci actually wasn't his real name. His birth name is no longer traceable. It's just that Li Chengliang liked calling him 'Nu'er' (boy, slave), and he'd answer Li Chengliang with a 'ha-chi, ha-chi' sound. Over time, people misheard it and passed it on as 'Nurhaci'."
"But Li Chengliang was getting old after all, his own stamina wasn't enough. Most of the time he had that bunch of young, strapping grunts take turns bending Nurhaci over for him to watch."
