od in front of General Yan Zhihao, wearing the ugliest robe known to humanity.
"Is this really necessary?" she asked, tugging at the sleeves. "I look like I fell into a curtain factory and lost the fight."
"It is standard attire for those under magical probation," Zhihao said, not even looking at her. His tone was as flat as the kingdom's tax policy.
She leaned closer. "You know, your cheekbones would make a great weapon in battle."
Zhihao stared at her. "You talk too much."
Lin Yue grinned. "And you brood too much. We all have flaws."
He turned and walked off. "Try not to explode anything today."
"No promises, General Cheekbones."
Lin Yue expected magical probation to be boring.
It was not.
On day one, she was summoned to the Royal Academy of Spiritual and Unapologetically Overpowered Arts—RASUOA for short (pronounced "Razz-Uh-Wah," which sounded more like a K-pop group than an elite magical academy).
As she approached the gates, two stone lion statues growled at her.
She glared at them. "Don't start with me, Simba. I've had a week."
Inside, she was immediately met with a scroll-wielding scholar whose mustache looked like it had been ironed.
"Name?"
"Lin Yue. Former ramen enthusiast, current magical disaster."
The man scribbled something. Probably DANGEROUS. FEEDS ON CHAOS.
She was given a dorm assignment, a schedule, and a warning not to incinerate any more cats.
Her roommate, naturally, was gorgeous.
And mysterious.
She sat in a cloud of incense, wearing black robes embroidered with silver lotus patterns, sipping tea like a noble lady with a tragic destiny.
"I'm Su Ya," she said in a voice that could probably hypnotize snakes.
Lin Yue flopped onto her bed. "I'm Lin Yue. I've been accused of cat murder."
Su Ya didn't blink. "I've committed actual murder."
"…Cool. We're gonna get along great."
The first class was Elemental Theory and Accidental Combustion.
Professor Hu, who had one eye and a voice like sandpaper dunked in whisky, barked, "Magic is like constipation: dangerous when blocked and explosive when released without aim."
Lin Yue whispered to Su Ya, "He sounds like he used to be a motivational speaker at funerals."
The professor pointed a finger at Lin Yue. "You. Demoness. Demonstrate your affinity."
Lin Yue stood. "I don't really know how. The last time I tried, I set an aristocrat's hair on fire."
"Excellent. Aim for that statue."
She closed her eyes, thought about her last heartbreak, and yelled, "NOODLE FLAME!"
A fireball shot out.
And hit a student's robes.
Chaos.
Screams.
Someone threw a bucket of soup.
Professor Hu grinned. "Better. Class dismissed."
At lunch, Lin Yue stole a bun from Su Ya's tray.
Su Ya glared. "I once killed a man for touching my dumplings."
Lin Yue shrugged. "You'll have to kill me twice. These buns are divine."
Suddenly, the cafeteria fell silent.
In walked a tall figure in white, robes fluttering, eyes sharp enough to peel apples.
Whispers followed him like a scandal.
"Crown Prince…"
"Is that him?"
"I heard he once defeated an entire demon horde with a fan."
"I heard he's allergic to feelings."
Lin Yue, mid-bite, pointed with her bun. "That's the crown prince? He looks like he cries in the shower to instrumental guqin music."
Su Ya froze. "You just insulted the most powerful man in the empire."
"He's not even that tall."
The prince turned.
Looked straight at her.
Then… smirked.
Lin Yue's soul left her body.
She was summoned to the disciplinary hall fifteen minutes later.
Apparently, "eye-contact-based sass aimed at the Crown Prince" was a crime punishable by intense paperwork.
The instructor in charge, Mistress Bi, wore robes that crackled with magical static and had an expression like she wanted to ground Lin Yue permanently.
"You will serve your detention in the Field of Enlightened Agonies."
"That sounds illegal."
"It's just a garden. With aggressive vegetables."
"...What."
Five minutes later, Lin Yue was being chased by a sentient radish wielding a hoe.
She screamed. "This is not enlightenment! This is produce-based trauma!"
From the fence, Su Ya sipped a smoothie. "They say surviving the garden builds character."
"I don't want character. I want insurance!"
The radish tackled her. It smelled like disappointment.
---
That evening, General Zhihao paid her a visit.
He stood in the doorway of her dorm like an avenging spirit from a very disciplined drama.
"Why," he began slowly, "did you refer to the Crown Prince as a man who 'cries in the shower'?"
Lin Yue was wrapped in cabbage bandages. "Because he looks like he journals in calligraphy and burns the pages afterward."
Zhihao sighed. "You're giving the palace heartburn."
"I'm giving myself heartburn. I had to eat a spicy turnip that threatened me."
He blinked. "The garden fed you?"
"No. It mugged me. Then force-fed me."
Zhihao turned. "The Emperor wants to meet you."
Lin Yue froze. "...Can I come in disguise? Maybe as a chicken?"
"No."
"Fine. But I'm not wearing the curtain dress again."
---
The next day, she was brought to the Emperor's private garden—a tranquil place filled with koi fish, whispering bamboo, and absurd political tension.
The Emperor sat beneath a peach tree. He looked ancient, wise, and exactly like someone who could kill you with a sentence.
"Young woman," he said. "You insulted my son."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"You survived the Field of Enlightened Agonies."
"Barely, Your Majesty."
"You speak with irreverence, sarcasm, and a complete lack of diplomacy."
Lin Yue bowed. "I call it charm, Your Majesty."
The Emperor laughed. "You amuse me. I shall not execute you today."
She exhaled. "Wow. Best compliment I've had all week."
"You will now join the elite team training for the Celestial Trials."
She blinked. "Is that like the Olympics but with more explosions?"
"Yes."
"...Awesome."
Lin Yue was handed a scroll with the official team roster and instructions for the Celestial Trials Training Camp.
She opened it.
Team Leader: Prince Li Xian.
Team Members: Su Ya, General Zhihao (Observer), Princess Ruoyan (Reluctant Healer), Yun the Beast Whisperer, Lin Yue (???—pending evaluation).
"Pending evaluation?" she hissed. "I literally survived a radish assault and sarcasm-due execution!"
Su Ya read over her shoulder. "You'll grow on them. Like mold."
---
Training Camp was located on a floating mountain accessible only by taming a flying pig.
"Absolutely not," Lin Yue declared. "I'm not climbing on something with wings and bacon."
The pig, affectionately named Meatball, snorted at her and licked her face.
She screamed. "I'm being claimed! It's choosing me as its snack!"
Somehow, they survived the ascent.
They arrived to find Prince Li Xian already there, shirt billowing in the wind like a budget romance novel cover.
Lin Yue squinted. "Is it just me or does he have a personal wind machine?"
He turned dramatically. "You must be the infamous one."
"You must be the emotionally repressed one."
He blinked.
Su Ya dropped her fan. "You are going to die."
Li Xian gave a tight smile. "Let's begin."
---
The first challenge was a magical illusion maze.
The goal: survive your worst fear and reach the center.
Su Ya returned in ten minutes. "I had to relive my tragic backstory. I'm over it."
Yun the Beast Whisperer emerged with a phoenix feather in his hand. "It cried on me."
Prince Li Xian exited the maze untouched. "My mind is a fortress."
Lin Yue stumbled out two hours later, sobbing.
"What did you see?" they asked.
She collapsed. "A world… with no carbs."
Everyone went silent.
Yun patted her head. "You are braver than all of us."
---
Back at camp, Lin Yue couldn't sleep.
She wandered to the cliff edge, watching moonlight shimmer on the floating lake.
Suddenly, someone stepped beside her.
Li Xian.
"You did well today," he said, quietly.
She scoffed. "You think I'm a joke."
"No. I think you're chaos."
"Same thing."
He glanced at her. "Chaos is honest. Rare. Refreshing."
She stared. "Are you… flirting with me?"
He turned away. "Absolutely not."
She grinned. "You totally are."
"I'm leaving now."
"You're blushing."
"I'M LEAVING."
She chuckled. "Nice talk, Your Royal Repression."
The next morning, Lin Yue and the team faced the second trial: The Trial of Emotional Constipation.
They were each tasked with releasing a bottled-up emotion using magic, without exploding or crying too much.
Su Ya tried to unleash her rage but ended up turning her robes into a flock of pigeons.
Yun the Beast Whisperer accidentally summoned a bear that wouldn't stop hugging him.
Prince Li Xian tried to channel his inner calm but only managed a slightly annoyed sigh.
Lin Yue? She screamed, "I JUST WANT NOODLES!" and released a fiery explosion that singed half the training grounds.
Everyone blinked. The pig Meatball snorted in approval.
Then the final trial appeared: The Trial of Trust.
The team had to work together to cross a magical chasm using only their wits and a rapidly shrinking magic bridge.
Lin Yue slipped, grabbed the edge, and looked up to see Li Xian offering his hand.
She smirked, grabbed it, and quipped, "Try not to choke on my chaos."
They made it across, barely.
As the sun set behind the floating mountain, Lin Yue realized this strange world — with its absurd rules, mysterious royals, and magical mishaps — might actually be her new home.
And maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't burn it all down on purpose.