"Welp, guess that means it's just us 2 versus the woooooorld. Isn't that fun?" I smiled, giving an exaggerated hand flourish like a street magician revealing a particularly underwhelming card trick.
Subaru blinked. Then squinted. Then blinked again, his mouth slowly opening as his brain tried to catch up to what I'd just casually dropped.
"Wait, whaaaat!? Did you just say you were from 2025??"
I, the clearly more rational and mentally stable person in this situation, crossed my arms and gave him a look that screamed Are you okay, bro?
"Nope," I replied with the straightest face imaginable. "You must be imagining things."
Subaru's expression contorted, like he was physically wrestling the words out of his own head. "N-no, no! You definitely said it! I heard it clear as day! Two-thousand-twenty-f—"
"Look, buddy, pal, kiddo, kid, amigo, friend..." I took a small pause to think of another word to call him: "companion of mine. I think you're just stressed and tired. You're not thinking clearly, most certainly to me. You don't travel worlds every day. One moment, you're buying—" Taking a quick glance at his bag, I saw a packet of potato chips. "Potato chips, the next, you're in another plane of existence. must be soo disorienting." Yes, I was gaslighting him, yes I am having with it.
His eye twitched. "I- you literally- 2025! How do you even know about instant noodles if you're not from-"
"Oh, I most certainly am from the modern age," I cut in smoothly, raising a hand like a professor making a very important point. "2012. Juuuuuust like you. How else would I know of it?" I had the most teasing grin on, but I couldn't help it. This is like so much fun. i forgot how fun fucking around with people was.
Subaru sputtered like a dying engine, hands flailing in frustration as his mouth opened and closed without managing to settle on actual words. "B-but you and—ARGH. FINE THEN, BE LIKE THAT."
He stomped ahead of me, face scrunched up like a kid who just lost an argument with their older sibling but wasn't allowed to throw a tantrum in public.
I grinned to myself. God, it was too easy.
Jogging a few steps to catch up, I leaned in casually. "You mad, bro?"
"Shut up."
"Fine, Fine, kiddo."
He whipped his head around so fast I half expected it to unscrew from his neck. "Kiddo?! I'll have you know I'm most definitely older than you! i—Wait, actually, how old are you, anyway?"
I smirked, hands still tucked behind my head. "Now, now, it's not polite to pry into a lovely lady's age," I teased, a playful glint in my eye. "But since I'm feeling generous today, I'll tell you. Chronologically, physically, or should I count my past lives too?" I leaned in, tilting my head with a grin, hands laced behind my back.
Subaru blinked. "Wait… what?"
"Oh, right, my bad," I said, giving myself a playful bop on the head. "Guess I forgot to mention. This isn't my first rodeo. Whoops."
Subaru stared at me like his brain had just gotten a blue screen. "You were reincarnated!?"
"Yup," I chirped. "Pretty cool, huh? Just your average high schooler, minding her business, then bam, Truck-kun decided I'd make a great hood ornament. Next thing I know, I'm a baby again."
His eye twitched. "You're making that sound way too casual."
"But it waaaas~, so now I was in some sort of fusion between a medieval magic world, but in the 18th century and stuff. Guess that makes me your senior in this whole isekai business, riiiight?" I playfully asked. yeah, i may have skipped over a fuck ton of stuff from my world but who cares, not like he'll be going over there.
"Stop, stop, stop," the boy said, signalling with his hands in a timeout form. "Magic in the 19th century? And your second summon, seriously, you're literally sounding like some half-baked light novel protagonist right now."
i stood in thought for a moment "yeah, now that you say it aloud, my life sure does sound like a bad light novel…" i paused, before placing my hand under my chin. "Hmmmmm. second life, 3rd world, Starting Once Again From Zero? ah ah?" I added with a smug grin.
Complete silence was the answer to my masterfully crafted title.
He finally cracked a small smile, raising a brow. "You really must've liked reading trash if you can come up with one that fast."
"Well, fuck you too, then," I shot back, folding my arms. "I'll keep my creative naming skills to myself. Anyway, speaking of names—mine is…" I paused, weighing whether to give a fake one or not. He seemed too inexperienced to be a real threat, but with out any idea the power system this world operates - that damn guy with the name-stealing Dreamless. - It's always better safe than sorry. But, he kinda seems like a full-on delusional kid from what I can tell. So it'll be fine.
"Seraphina L. Ashveil. But you can call me Sera, kiddo. So, gonna tell me your name, or should I just keep calling you Kiddo?"
He smirked, eyes narrowing with mock seriousness. Then he struck a ridiculous pose like a self-declared hero and said, "The name's Subaru, Natsuki Subaru. I'm broke, lost, and utterly confused about how I got here. Pleasure to meet you."
i gave him a deadpan expression, then glanced around as some people stared at both of them. i quirked an eyebrow as my expression morphed into an amused expression. "well that is certainly an introduction. but quite doing that pose, people are staring. They might get the right idea that you're an idiot." I gave a lazy tilt of my head, subtly gesturing at the small crowd of eyes on us.
Still mid-pose, Subaru glanced around, finally noticing the stares. A sheepish chuckle escaped him as he awkwardly dropped his arms to his sides. "H-Heh, okay, okay, point taken," he muttered, scratching his cheek. Then, like clockwork, his finger shot up, pointing at me. "Hey, I'm not an idiot, alright? Just… passionate."
"Sure, buddy, sure."
He coughed, clearing his throat and dusting off his non-existent pride. "So… wanna get a lay of the land, my fellow summoned?" His grin made a comeback, like he hadn't just embarrassed himself thirty seconds ago.
"Might as well. Not like we've got anything better to do," I shrugged, my gaze sweeping over the busy market before settling back on him. "Alright, take the lead, kiddo. The floor's yours."
He pumped a fist confidently. "Leave it to me!"
"Yeah, yeah," I muttered, falling into step beside him.
As we strolled along an uncharted path, Subaru peppered me with a myriad of questions about my world, his curiosity unyielding. I, walking beside him, indulged his inquiries to cure my boredom, as they absorbed the vibrant sights of this unfamiliar landscape. They soon found themselves on an expansive road bustling with an array of carriages navigating like a frenetic highway.
"So you're saying the world was called…"
"The Broken Realms," I confirmed casually.
"Right, The Broken Realms. Weird name, but I guess everything here's weird anyway. And the country you were staying in — what was it called again? Oneiros, right?"
"Yep."
"A Greek word for dream?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Mhm."
"And the god they worship is…"
"Aeononeiros," I said, flicking a loose strand of hair out of my face.
Subaru rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "And you mentioned there's this other god, Ephialthon — opposite of Aeononeiros, right? The one who sends out these cursed nightmares that turn people into monsters?"
"That's the gist of it."
"Man… that's some deep, complicated lore you've got going on there. Honestly sounds like a JRPG's third optional ending or something. And meanwhile," he gestured around us, "we're standing in the middle of another fantasy world entirely."
"Yep. And this one's problems aren't mine. My old life barely survived dealing with the last mess," I muttered, my eyes briefly catching a figure darting across the rooftops. Light on their feet, fast, but not a threat. I made a simple mental note and looked back ahead.
Then it came, a sharp, piercing scream. A child's. High, panicked, and unmistakable. Both of us halted mid-step and turned towards the source, spotting the small child sprawled helplessly on the cobblestone road with a carriage barreling towards them.
Oooh, medieval car crash. didn't expect to see a death this soon.i thought idly as I watched, but Subaru, the goofball. shouted enthusiastically,
"Time for me to step up!"
His sudden burst of heroism made me step back a little, a snort escaping me. I chuckled under my breath.
"This must be the event where I unleash my magic!" he declared, eyes blazing like some knockoff shounen protagonist. Dropping to one knee, he thrust a hand out toward the kid, brow furrowed with world-saving determination.
And then…
And theeeen...
fart.mp4 (sorry, sorry, not canon. retake.)
And theeeeeeeeeen...
Silence
Nothing happened.
The only thing moving was the carriage, still charging straight for the kid.
Right as it reached peak cringe, a man in gleaming armour dashed into view. He sprinted across the road, narrowly avoiding the carriage and scooping up the kid at the last second. The crowd erupted into cheers, and Subaru's heroic expression slowly crumbled into quiet horror as he stared at his still-empty hand.
"Well done, you did it. You summoned a knight with your magic," I grinned, barely containing my laughter.
Subaru glanced my way, looking like he wanted the cobblestones to swallow him whole.
"But in all seriousness… that was one way to handle a crisis."
I tried to stifle my laughter, but it broke through anyway, settling into a casual chuckle.
"Maybe next time you'll get your 'Event', kiddo."
Subaru scrambled to his feet, an awkward blush spreading across his face as he power-walked ahead, painfully aware of what had just happened. But whatever. Cringe was done. Damage was permanent. brain was pained.
"Guess I'm not quite ready for magic yet…" he mumbled, the embarrassment slowly fading as the two of us continued down the bustling street.
Abruptly, Subaru stopped, nearly causing me to bump into him as his attention was drawn to a stall adorned with produce. A colourful array of apples sat enticingly on display.
"Why did you stop?" I asked, tilting my head to inspect the stand herself. The signs displayed unfamiliar glyphs in a language she could not decipher. hmm, I guess there is a language difference. ugh, I'll half to learn to read all over again. for the second time.
"Hey, you two!" a voice boomed from the stall, making us look up. The stall owner was a burly man with striking green hair and two jagged scars slashing across his left eye. "You're rocking some peculiar outfits, especially you, kid. Travellers, huh?" I chuckled quietly, he had called Subaru a "kid" too.
Subaru's gaze flickered between the bright apples and the vendor, curiosity shining in his eyes. "What are these?" he asked, pointing at the fruits.
I stared, dumbfounded. Is he not Japanese? Did he grow up in Antarctica or something? How does he not know what an apple is?
"They're appas," the vendor replied with a casual nod, pride in his tone.
Wait, they have different names for stuff? Why? And why is it so similar to the original? shouldn't it- Ah, whatever.
"Hmmm, haven't had an apple since I was five… but it's probably gonna cost a different currency," I muttered silently, unnoticed by Subaru or the vendor.
Unluckily for Subaru, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of metallic yen coins, showing them to the man with a hopeful grin. But at the sight of the currency, the vendor's expression soured immediately, shifting from casual indifference to barely hidden irritation.
"What in the world is that? You can't spend that rubbish in Lugunica. So, what does that make you? Broke?"
He shook his head, then turned to me. "And you, miss?"
"Same boat as the kid. Planning to trade stuff for money but haven't gotten around to it yet," I shrugged casually.
"Tsk, just as I thought," he scoffed, irritation radiating like heat from a furnace. "Scram! And stop getting in the way of my business!"
He waved us off dismissively, his annoyance hanging heavy in the air.
With a shared glance, Subaru and I walked away, him visibly put off by the stall owner's rude attitude.
Now that I wasn't required to talk, my mind drifted to one of my main pleasures—food. Man, I could really go for some fries right now, I thought to myself. But considering this world seemed even less advanced than the last, the chances were probably zero. I wonder if I could open a restaurant here… cooking for others has always been on my list. Didn't get the chance last life, since everyone I cared about was gone. But maybe here, I could finally show off my—
"Ah, whatever. Guess we'll just gather some information for now," Subaru interrupted, his shoulders slumping in resignation as he headed toward a nearby building.
"Hmm? Wait up, kiddo," I snapped out of my food daydream, glancing back to see Subaru disappearing into what I suspected was a public restroom.
Moments later, a cacophony of women's screams pierced the air, followed by a loud, echoing slap. I winced, stomach tightening, as Subaru returned, his right cheek flushed red with the clear imprint of a slap.
I grinned mischievously. "I tried to warn you. Well, at least you weren't hurt worse." The memory of a guy I once saw getting his balls reorganised with a single kick bubbled up, and I let out a light chuckle.
Subaru's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You're laughing at me, aren't you?"
I blinked, caught off guard. "No! Not at you, just a random memory. Don't take it personally."
He huffed, cheeks still burning, and without another word, stormed off down the street, hands shoved deep in his pockets.
I watched him go, shaking my head with a smirk. "Or do" I let out a chuckle and slowly walked after him.
A/N I love comments so please comment anything you'd like to see and there is a non zero chance it might happen.
also if there is anything OOC tell me. i am a dumb ass and would probably forget important shit.
thanks for reading. byeeee.