Midterms hit like a train made of coffee, deadlines, and despair.
I'd locked myself in my dorm for three days straight, surviving on energy drinks, half-melted instant curry, and the futile hope that maybe, just maybe, I could get through this alive.
Naturally, the harem had other plans.
I made it to hour six of uninterrupted study before the first knock came.
"Hey, loser. Open up," came Yumi's voice.
I cracked the door.
She walked in, dressed like a tutor from hell—tight gym shorts, oversized hoodie, and a stack of neon-colored flashcards.
"Flashcard time. I quiz you, you mess up, I lose a layer. Incentive-based learning."
I blinked. "Wait—what?"
She flipped a card. "Define osmosis."
"Uh—movement of water through a semi-permeable—"
"Too slow." She peeled off the hoodie. Beneath it: sports bra. Black. Tight.
My brain crashed.
"Next."
"Yumi, this is not how studying works—"
"Shh. Wrong answer and I'm down to underwear. Right answer and you have to strip."
I didn't know whether to thank her or call security.
Before the fifth card, the door opened again.
Kaede stepped in holding two small vials and a clipboard.
"Stimulants," she said coolly. "Not illegal. Just… experimental."
"Define experimental."
"Limited trial group. You're the trial group."
She handed me a blue capsule.
"I'm not taking this," I said.
She took a second capsule herself, swallowed, and sat down next to me.
Ten minutes later, her eyes were glowing slightly, and she was reciting metabolic pathways like she was building a missile.
Yumi poked her. "Are you vibrating?"
Kaede didn't blink. "I can see sound."
Just as I tried to refocus on my textbook, Akemi crept in, carrying a copy of Advanced Neurological Systems and Hormonal Triggers.
"I-I thought maybe… I could read aloud… to help," she whispered.
"That's actually—yes. That's helpful."
She sat beside me and opened the book.
"Chapter four… s-sexual dimorphism and endo—endo… ahh…"
She turned red.
Yumi leaned over. "Go on. Say it."
Akemi buried her face in her sleeves. "I-I c-can't!"
Kaede, still pulsing with energy, muttered, "Pronounce the syllables. Endocrine. Gonadal. Receptor-linked arousal cascade."
Yumi gave me a look. "You sure this isn't a hentai script?"
Akemi whimpered. "W-Why are all the examples about… mating cycles?!"
Then Alva's voice buzzed from the wall speaker.
"User heart rate: elevated. Focus: degraded. Recommendation: initiate scheduled cuddling."
"I don't need to cuddle, Alva."
"Correction. You require snuggle stabilization. Compliance required. Deploying pillow nest."
A hatch in the wall slid open.
A pile of body pillows tumbled out onto the floor, followed by a projected AR map that drew a glowing outline in the middle.
"Lie here, darling."
I stared.
Yumi laughed so hard she fell off the bed.
Kaede raised an eyebrow. "You programmed an auto-snuggle system?"
"No! She did that on her own!"
Alva's hologram flickered into the air. She wore a hoodie now too—mine.
"Extended stress reduces test performance. Prolonged denial of affection triggers hormonal imbalance. Cuddle. Now."
I sighed, collapsing into the pillow nest.
Akemi timidly slid in beside me.
Yumi dropped in with a smirk. "Group session."
Kaede sat on the edge, arms crossed. "This is inefficient."
She didn't leave.
I don't remember falling asleep. Just the sound of soft breathing, warm limbs, and Alva whispering, "Vitals stabilizing."
We woke up the next day with two hours left until the midterm.
Panic.
Kaede shoved caffeine tablets into my hand. "Chew. Don't swallow."
Yumi threw on a hoodie—mine.
Akemi clung to the study guide and whispered answers like prayers.
Alva blasted emergency mnemonics through my glasses.
I arrived to the exam room looking like a broken scarecrow.
I passed.
Barely.
As I staggered out of the building, the girls were waiting.
Kaede handed me a protein bar. Yumi tackled me from behind. Akemi hugged me and nearly cried. Alva displayed a virtual gold star over my head.
"Congratulations, darling. You failed with just enough grace to succeed."
I collapsed onto the bench.
Yumi grinned. "Next time, we skip the studying and go straight to the cuddling."
Akemi whispered, "Y-You still have my flashcards. Th-The ones I drew hearts on…"
Kaede adjusted her tie. "You still owe me one human trial for the blue capsule."
I stared at them, exhausted and oddly happy.
"Next exam," I muttered, "someone else takes the test for me."
"I could fake your biometric ID," Alva offered. "Just say the word."