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Chapter 350 - To Live For You

Ban Ke's depression had once trended online. Everyone knew about it. Her comment sections often turned into impromptu forums where people with similar struggles gathered to talk.

So when she made her latest post, few accused her of chasing clout. Public opinion may not always be sharp and discerning, easily clouded by echo chambers, but when sentiment shifts, the tide is hard to resist. And anyone who watched the premiere of the show understood.

[Mountain Child]: "I could feel it. Ban Ke really has the kind of presence that kills a conversation, but Chu Zhi was always there to rescue the mood every time things got awkward."

[Liao Zheng]: "She's not great at talking. Not exactly socially anxious, but she does get overwhelmed when talking to strangers. Having someone like Chu Zhi around makes such a difference. The atmosphere never turns stiff, and you never feel ignored. Twice, the youngest member tried to speak quietly, and Chu Zhi caught it both times. That's what turned me into a fan."

[FlyingFish]: "I came for the Strawberry Goddess, but I left a fan of Chu Zhi. The way he rushed to help someone without a second's hesitation—he won me over in a single frame."

Even viewers who weren't part of the Little Fruits fandom, who didn't care about celebrities at all, were converted.

In short, after Chu Zhi unified his fandom, he expanded it even further. Many people who never thought they'd become fans found themselves drawn in by him.

Take Liao Zheng and Mountain Child—perfect examples.

This influx of new fans meant there were now more skilled individuals among the Little Fruits. One of them, a data genius who went by the name "Sealed Mouth," was a Level 1 user in the Orange Home community.

He posted a thread along with a video edit:

"I used to think all idol fans were fools. Today, I think I might be one too.

'Gentle' has practically become a backhanded compliment these days. But people like Chu Zhi? He's what true gentleness looks like.

My teacher once told me: 'Gentleness is often shaped by suffering. Many people who've been through pain don't want others to suffer like they did. That compassion—that's what we call gentleness.'

Not many know this, but Chu Zhi used to be socially anxious too. His personality changed drastically."

The seven-to-eight-minute video opened with behind-the-scenes footage from Chu Zhi's time on Sons of the Future, covering his progression from the top 24, to 12, 8, and finally the top 4.

"You can see it right there. Back when Chu Zhi debuted, he was an unknown. He had no leverage, no presence. Combine that with his introverted nature, and his words kept getting cut off or ignored.

He wasn't even twenty yet. Shy, barely speaking."

After the three-minute mark, the video shifted to highlight his meteoric rise. From his debut to peak fame, every event he attended turned into a frenzy. Press conferences, interviews, live performances—it was all compiled into one clear progression.

"These are early materials anyone can find online. Nothing is taken out of context. I'll link everything in the comments for those who want to verify.

Whether it was during interviews or live shows, anytime Chu Zhi was cued to speak, things would get awkward.

Hashtag #ColdTypeIdol actually trended on Weibo back then. He was just like most people—awkward around strangers, unsure of what to do.

Then he got framed. The internet's backlash lasted half a year. Severe depression, moderate anxiety, even a suicide attempt.

How does someone like that turn out?

Angry? Withdrawn? Indifferent?

I'd get it. Anyone would.

But Chu Zhi didn't become bitter. He became better. He endured his mental illness, and now he uses that strength to help others."

The last minute and a half of the video presented comparisons.

Tan Lu and Luo Jianhui often got overlooked in shows like The Journey Among the Stars and Back to the Countryside, just like Chu Zhi had been in the past.

Ban Ke, gaming addict Cai Jia, and Shou Qiang also suffered awkward silences on various shows.

The video showed side-by-side splits: back then, Chu Zhi faced those silences alone. Now, others had him to step in and help.

Sealed Mouth's post was shared over 200,000 times on Weibo. It blew up on Douyin and Bilibili too, though many media accounts shamelessly removed the watermark and reposted it as their own.

"Have some shame!"

"Even after all he's been through, he still wants to treat others gently?"

"My brother is the same. He became gentle because someone once treated him with kindness. Chu Zhi knows how bad pain feels, so he doesn't want anyone else to suffer. People throw the word 'gentle' around carelessly, but with him… it's real."

"Does Chu Zhi not feel pain?"

Among the flood of comments, one sentence stood out:

"Does Chu Zhi not feel pain?"

Of course he does.

Nightmares every night. Less than five hours of sleep. Dependence on cigarettes and alcohol to get through the day. Anyone else with those symptoms would be half a ghost by now.

Sealed Mouth lit the spark. Then came Li Jufu, a Level 7 veteran of Orange Home known as "Lucky Little Rascal," who also happened to be a published novelist. He dug deeper:

"Brother Jiu is always shown eating a lot on shows like The Journey Among the Stars, Back to the Countryside, I'm a Singer-Songwriter, and even the launch event for Shouting to the Center of the World.

At first, I thought it was just a foodie persona. But thinking back, his team never promoted that angle.

That leaves one possibility: binge eating caused by severe depression. Malabsorption from stress, which would explain why he's still so thin.

As a man, I feel terrible for him."

Piece by piece, fans started to realize how poor Chu Zhi's health might be.

That only deepened their admiration.

To date, Chu Zhi had only appeared in four major variety shows: I Really Am a Singer, I'm a Singer-Songwriter, The Journey Among the Stars, and Back to the Countryside 4, plus one live show Red Dream. And yet from that limited footage, fans had unearthed so much.

The day after the premiere of Back to the Countryside 4, a bizarre hashtag topped the trending list: #PleaseDrinkMoreSalineWater.

Curious, people clicked in—and discovered that too many Little Fruits had cried watching the episode. Eyes hurt, heads ached, so fans started drinking saline water to increase blood flow and ease the pain.

The buzz was overwhelming, even surprising Luo Xunyuan, the producer of Back to the Countryside.

"We might need to step in and guide the conversation. I'm worried something could go wrong," Luo said, clearly panicking.

Lan Wuyi told him to calm down. "The hotter it gets, the more we need to manage it."

Just how hot was it? Luo thought for a moment, then forwarded the latest post from a Central District environmental agency to Lan Wuyi.

"Fireflies is such a beautiful song. The line 'The stars in the sky are crying, the roses on the ground are wilting'—Chu Zhi said the stars cry because there are too many lights, stealing their glow.

It's a metaphor for light pollution. And the wilting roses? A reminder to protect the environment.

Love Chu Zhi. Love the Earth!"

Even environmental groups were riding the wave.

Lan Wuyi finally saw the seriousness of the situation. He quickly changed tack and issued statements urging fans to value their lives, to be aware of depression, and to keep going.

After hanging up, he posted on both his personal and the official Back to the Countryside accounts. But it still didn't feel like enough. He thought it over and decided to call the man at the center of it all—Chu Zhi.

At that moment, Chu Zhi was heading to the set of My Love From the Stars, when something caught his eye.

"Brother Chu, want to give it a shot?" his assistant, Xiao Zhu, asked. "If so, I'll get some tokens."

A claw machine. But instead of toys, it was filled with Chu Zhi merchandise made by JYP.

There were two machines: a small one with chibi keychains and autographed cards, and a larger one with body pillows.

A bit childish for elementary schoolers, just right for adults. He did want to see what Korean merch looked like.

Xiao Zhu bought thirty tokens.

And Chu Zhi didn't win a single thing.

"No joke, this machine is rigged," he grumbled. The claw was too loose.

Just as he was about to buy more tokens, Lan Wuyi's call came through. After some pleasantries, Lan mentioned the online uproar. He urged Chu Zhi to post something encouraging, to remind fans not to give up, to talk about depression.

Chu Zhi didn't refuse.

He logged into his account, carefully drafted his words, then posted:

@EatingABigOrange:

"There's only one truly serious philosophical question—suicide. Deciding whether to go on living or not is never simple. My personal take:

'You have to live to see good things happen. I hope everyone chooses to live.'"

The post opened a floodgate of confessions. Every family had its hardships. No one's life was easy.

"My father died in a car accident last year. My mother got sick from the grief. My grades tanked. I won't make it into college. I don't even know what job I can get. I've lost all confidence.

I didn't know why I was still alive…

Until A-Jiu said, 'I hope everyone chooses to live.'

'Would you die for me?'

'Dying is easy.'

'Then would you live for me?'

'I'm willing to live—for A-Jiu.'"

"My wife passed away two years ago. I kept telling myself she was just asleep. I was so calm at the funeral, my daughter thought I didn't care.

I never stopped working. But one day, after saving enough to buy a small house by the sea—a dream my wife and I shared—I realized she was really gone.

Too calm is just another way of saying you're in denial.

764 days after she passed, I was diagnosed with depression.

Should I still live?"

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