The second snap of a twig, closer this time, sharper, jolted William from the paralysis of disbelief. Adrenaline surged, overriding his frozen processor. He scrambled backward, stumbling over unseen roots, the fine fabric of his suit catching on rough bark. His senses, overloaded moments before, now dialled to maximum sensitivity, desperately seeking data in this impossible environment.
This wasn't Yellowstone or the Amazon photoshopped for Instagram. The air itself felt different, thicker, carrying an electric hum beneath the scents of damp earth and pine, tasting faintly metallic, like ozone after a storm. Towering trees, wider than any redwood he'd ever seen data for, soared into a canopy so dense it created a perpetual twilight, filtering the unseen light source into an ethereal, shifting glow that painted the forest floor in luminous, moving patterns. Gravity felt… fractionally off, a subtle wrongness that added to his disorientation. Environmental scan initiated. Data points: oversized flora, ambient bioluminescence, unusual energy signature, possible gravitational anomaly. Probability of Earth location: recalculated to 0.00%. Accepting new reality parameters. Physics may need to be updated.
He pushed through ferns taller than himself, their fronds cool and damp against his skin, unfurling like living fractals. The sheer alienness was breathtaking. Flowers bloomed in colours outside the standard RGB spectrum, delicate star-shaped blossoms emitting faint pulses of light, trumpets of impossible blue and gold humming with low energy. It was beautiful, terrifyingly so. Aesthetic appreciation momentarily overriding threat assessment. Suboptimal.
"Okay, William," he muttered, voice tight, trying to impose order on the chaos. "Logical assessment required. Premise: You are currently experiencing a non-standard reality. Objective: Survive. Secondary objective: Gather data, formulate exit strategy." He scanned the kaleidoscopic forest. "Standard fantasy narrative protocols typically involve a quest, a mentor figure, and often, suspiciously convenient equipment upgrades. Current inventory: one slightly-too-tight suit, zero magic swords. System requirements not met." The absurdity pressed down. "Where's the mission brief? The tutorial level? Requesting objective parameters… receiving null response. Excellent." He was a data analyst without data, a coder without a manual.
He forced himself forward, driven by the primal need for movement, for answers. The questions swirled, chaotic variables in an unsolvable equation. Why here? Why him? He was brilliant with numbers, with systems, but heroism? That required different specs entirely. Probability of user 'William Shard' qualifying as 'Chosen One': statistically insignificant based on prior performance metrics. Yet, the feeling persisted, a faint signal in the noise, an implication that this wasn't random. A pull towards… something. He shook his head. Focus on immediate variables. Survival first.
Movement flickered at the edge of his vision. A brown streak erupted from the underbrush. William yelped, stumbling backward again as a rabbit, or something rabbit-adjacent, shot past. Adrenaline spiked uselessly.
"Seriously?!" he hissed at himself, heart hammering. "Scared by a rabbit? Bravo, Shard. Combat readiness rating: abysmal. Next, I'll probably attempt to debug a charging rhinoceros."
But the creature skidded to a halt a few yards away, turning. It wasn't quite the familiar Oryctolagus cuniculus. Larger, leaner, with oddly short ears and a muscular build that seemed almost… sculpted. Its black button eyes stared intently at him. And the air around it shimmered, distorting the ethereal light like heat haze over asphalt, or perhaps… something else.
"Observation: Lepus Anomalus Muscularis," William murmured, analytical mode kicking back in. "Note the faint spatial distortion field. Possible localized energy emission? Or am I hallucinating that too?" Need to catalogue this. Potential protein source? Or potential predator disguised as prey? Insufficient data.
Before he could formulate a plan B (which largely consisted of hiding behind a tree), the creature bounded towards a thicket of glowing ferns, paused, then deliberately hopped back towards him, twitching its nose. It repeated the motion.
"Great," William muttered. "A possibly magical, definitely buff rabbit wants me to follow it. Following cryptic gym bunny into potentially hazardous environment. Risk assessment: moderate to high. Potential reward: information, or becoming lunch. Proceeding with caution." Curiosity, that dangerous variable, outweighed his immediate fear. He began to follow, automatically noting the rabbit's erratic zig-zags, the way it paused to sniff the air, its powerful hind legs coiled for instant flight. It's processing environmental data faster than I am. Treat it as a mobile sensor array. If the rabbit trusted its instincts, perhaps leveraging its threat assessment was the logical, if slightly embarrassing, choice.
He pushed through another curtain of oversized ferns, mimicking the rabbit's path, when the underbrush directly ahead quivered violently. William froze mid-step. The rabbit darted sideways with impossible speed.
From the ferns emerged a creature that instantly escalated the threat level to 'imminent system failure.' Sleek, feline, larger than any leopard, its fur flowed like liquid mercury, shimmering with its own internal light. Its eyes, twin pools of molten gold, locked onto William, pupils dilating. Nostrils flared, sampling his scent. Every line of its body radiated coiled power, a predator calculating trajectories.
Shit. "So, the mobile sensor array leads directly to the primary threat node. Good call, William," he whispered, throat tight. His mind raced. Data-driven decision-making, right? Apex predator. Likely territorial. Current objective: acquire caloric intake. Rabbit is smaller, faster, presumably known prey. I am larger, slower, unknown variable dressed in easily tearable fabric. Logical target selection: rabbit.
The silver feline crouched, muscles bunching, tail twitching, classic predatory behaviour, preparing to launch. Just as its hindquarters tensed, the buff rabbit, in a move of startling agility, darted between the predator's legs and vanished into a burrow hidden beneath a tangle of roots.
"Good job, bunny!" William blurted out, instantly regretting the noise. "Maybe circle back with backup?" The feline's golden eyes snapped back to him, the only remaining variable, the only potential meal. The predatory focus was absolute, chilling. He clutched the sturdy branch he'd instinctively picked up earlier, its rough bark digging into his palm. Weapon effectiveness rating vs. large, possibly magical predator: 1.5/10.
"Okay, what's a data analyst doing in Narnia-on-steroids, armed with a stick?" he muttered darkly. Survival instinct surged, momentarily overwhelming rational analysis. Logic dictates evasion or concealment. Instinct demands display of counter-threat, however improbable. He took a clumsy, assertive step forward, waving the branch in what he hoped looked vaguely threatening. "Listen! Whatever you are! I'm… I'm statistically insignificant! Low nutritional value! Probably taste terrible! I'm just a normal data guy having an exceptionally weird system error of a day!" Words. Useless data packets against teeth and claws, but it was all he had.
The creature paused, head tilting slightly, those luminous eyes seeming to process his display. Was it thinking? Or just assessing his threat posture? Analyzing response... calculating potential injury versus energy expenditure...
"Come on," William pleaded, backing away slowly, heart pounding a frantic code against his ribs. "Error 404: Dinner not found. Just… go find the rabbit…"
Before he finished, the feline moved. A blur of liquid silver. Not at him. It lunged past him, a silent, impossibly fast streak, diving headfirst into the burrow after the rabbit. A muffled scuffle, then silence.
William sagged, knees suddenly weak. Relief washed over him, so potent it was dizzying. He leaned against a tree, gasping for air, the adrenaline leaving him shaky. "Well… that's one way to avoid becoming a data point in the food chain. Optimize for the easier target. Sound logic, terrifyingly applied." He felt shaken, but also strangely… alive. The encounter, brief and terrifying, was another piece of data about this world, deadly, beautiful, and utterly unpredictable.
"Alright. Focus, William," he commanded himself, pushing away from the tree, brushing non-existent dust off his now leaf-strewn suit. "Logic and reasoning. Gather data. Analyze environment. Formulate survival strategy. Objective: find civilization, or at least, figure out the local Wi-Fi password."
Just as the thought formed, a sound ripped through the relative tranquillity. A guttural cry, sharp and ugly, somewhere between a shriek and a snarl. It wasn't distant. It coiled around him, prickling the hairs on his neck. Then, footsteps, quick, uneven, pounding through the undergrowth. Coming closer. Fast.
He froze again, survival protocols kicking back online. Listening intently, he processed the sound data. Mass estimate based on footfall impact: smaller than previous feline predator, likely smaller than me. Velocity: high. Vector: direct intercept course. He calculated escape probability based on his own speed (suboptimal) versus the estimated speed of the incoming entity. Conclusion: Evasion improbable. Optimal strategy shifts to defensive posture. He tightened his grip on the branch, its weight a small, inadequate comfort. He shifted his stance, trying to remember the basic self-defence class he'd taken once online. Lesson 1: Maintain balance. Lesson 2: Use attacker's momentum. Lesson 3: Probably shouldn't rely on online self-defence classes against unknown monstrosities.
"Okay, use the data available, William," he whispered, steadying his breath, planting his feet firmly on the damp earth. "Assess, predict, react." He hoped fervently his analytical skills were sharper than whatever claws or teeth were attached to that oncoming growl.
The growl grew louder, closer, resolving into something hate-filled and hungry. His heart hammered against his ribs. Whatever was coming, it was born of this strange, wild world, and he had nothing but a stick and a desperate faith in applied logic to meet it.