'Make your choice now.'
In the span of a heartbeat, Hiruzen's entire career as Hokage flickered behind his eyes.
There was Tobirama clapping him on the shoulder and telling him the hat was his come morning. And here, now, sat Azula, politely asking him to hand in his resignation like she was requesting he pass the salt.
Deep down, he knew there was only one real path left.
"If... if... if..." The words jammed up somewhere between his brain and his tongue.
Instinct had him wanting to say something, but his mouth hadn't gotten the memo on what exactly that something was.
'What's the price? What leash do I slap on this before I hand her the keys to the village?' That thought finally cut through the fog.
He let out a resigned little smile. "Say I hand you the title. The hat, the office, all of it. What's your first priority?"
Azula looked at him like he'd just asked if water was wet. "What kind of stupid question is that? Restore peace to the world, obviously. Protect the people who matter. And eliminate anyone who might slow me down while I'm at it."
She spoke with that certainty Hiruzen had come to recognize all too well. Her eyes were backing up every last word her mouth was spitting out.
"And how exactly do you plan on bringing peace to the world?" He wasn't interrogating her now.
He was genuinely curious, because in the thousand-odd years since the known history of the Ninja World, 'peace' had been about as real as a children's bedtime story.
"How?" Azula repeated the question, and sensing nothing but simple curiosity from Hiruzen, she answered with one of her own. "Isn't that what I'm doing right now?"
"Kiri's practically in my pocket. The Raikage already accepted his loss and knows well he's beneath me. Ōnoki's probably up all night praying I don't decide to drop by for a visit. And Suna... eh. Suna's just weak. Not even worth the mental energy."
When she laid it all out like that, Hiruzen finally saw it without bias or denial. Just the cold, bare truth of things.
Azula, for all her chaos and her complete inability to take anything seriously, was actually pulling off something only the First Hokage had ever managed.
Hell, she might even do it better.
'Sorry, Koharu. Homura. And you, Danzō, you're probably going to hate me most for this one. But everything I do, I do for the village.'
His decision was made. He acted on it immediately, reaching up and resting his hand on the Hokage hat.
"You're not exactly leaving me much of a choice here," he said, lifting it from his head. "I, Hiruzen Sarutobi, hereby resign my position as Hokage, effective today."
"Under normal circumstances, there'd be an election for the Fourth. But given the current state of things, that's not happening. So as my final act in charge, and a necessary one at that, I'm naming you the Fourth Hokage."
Just like that. No grand ceremony nor witnesses. Just the two of them, and a passing of the torch the same way his own sensei had once done for him.
•••
•••
"Good grief. Apparently today's just the day where everybody loves keeping me waiting." Tsunade muttered it under her breath. She wasn't really annoyed, just in the mood to complain a little.
That was all.
She'd been parked in Azula's office for a while now. She'd figured Azula would head straight here after ditching the meeting, but no such luck.
The only other spots Tsunade could picture her going were either the Uchiha compound or the Senju estate to visit Grandma Mito.
But that didn't track. Azula had zero reason to bail on work hours to swing by her clan's place, and even less reason to drop in on Mito.
The old woman had been buried in something ever since they got back, Tsunade didn't even know the full details, just that it involved crafting some kind of insane seal.
Then a thought sparked.
"What if I just pop her clone? That'd let her know I'm here, right?"
She actually got a little thrill out of the idea, peeking her ass on the chair out of excitement. A harmless prank.
But before she could even fully savor the thought—
The chair she was sitting in, Azula's chair, the one behind the main desk, vanished out from under her in a blink.
Tsunade recognized the trick. A fresh twist on the Flying Thunder God Technique. Azula had figured out how to teleport objects now, apparently.
And sure enough, Azula materialized exactly where the chair had been, catching Tsunade square in her arms like she was nothing more than a seat cushion. Somehow, despite Tsunade's... considerable ass-ets... and the sheer mass of her, Azula didn't even wobble.
Pure physical strength kept them both upright.
"It seems someone can't even go a few minutes without me," Azula murmured right into Tsunade's ear. "Well, woman? Anything to say for yourself?"
She knew exactly what she was doing. This was no accident.
The second she'd stepped out of the Hokage's residence, she'd planned to warp straight back to her office using the Flying Thunder God Technique. But then she'd felt Tsunade's chakra in her office.
Pretty much everything in that office, hell, everything in the house she lived in, had her technique's seal slapped on it, just in case. The chair Tsunade had been parked in was no exception.
Tsunade, who by all rights should've been blushing like a schoolgirl, let her natural audacity take the wheel.
She gave her ass a deliberate little wiggle, then slid her left hand up behind Azula's neck, twisting just enough to half-turn in her arms.
"Huh. I'm surprised your Sharingan isn't active. After all..." She didn't finish the sentence. The smug little smile plastered across her face said everything it needed to.
If Azula was being honest with herself? She still hadn't figured out a countermeasure. No snappy comeback, no deflection. Nothing worked when Tsunade brought up how she'd awakened her Mangekyō.
'New priority. Find a counter to Tsunade's ultimate technique. Failure to do so means I lose every single engagement for the rest of my natural life.' She filed it away as a top-tier mental task.
All while fighting tooth and nail to keep her Sharingan from flaring up. Because Tsunade knew exactly where her weak spot was, and those deliberate little movements were pushing every button she had. If this kept up...
...she really didn't want to finish that thought.
Instead, Azula did the only thing that made sense in the moment. She pulled Tsunade a fraction closer.
Close enough that the woman in her arms would feel the subtle shift in pressure. A silent, unconscious attempt to gain control back.
And Tsunade obviously noticed such a 'clumsy' attempt.
She'd made a career out of reading bodies, where the tension lived, where the weakness hid.
And right now, Azula's arms were wound just a little too tight, her grip just a little too deliberate.
'She's excited, as expected of me,' Tsunade was smug. 'No... she's trying to calm herself down.'
For all her posturing, Azula was still someone who had to physically rein herself in when Tsunade was this close. That was... flattering and oddly endearing.
Before she could press that advantage, and she fully intended to, a sharp pop was heard thought the room.
Another Azula stood in the doorway.
It was a shadow clone and she held a scroll in one hand, sealed with an ornate wax emblem Tsunade recognized instantly.
The Daimyō's personal crest.
"Only now?" the real Azula asked, her voice shifting seamlessly from whatever softness had been creeping in to something more clipped.
Businesslike, but she still didn't put Tsunade down.
The clone inclined her head.
"He was... amenable." A pause. "Also slightly terrified. I think it might have been overkill."
"Noted." Azula's lips twitched, just barely. "You're dismissed."
The clone flickered out of existence, the scroll dropping neatly onto the desk.
Tsunade craned her neck to look at it, then back at Azula's profile.
"...You sent a clone to intimidate the Daimyō into writing you a letter? What, a simple 'recommendation' wasn't dramatic enough for you?"
Azula finally, finally loosened her grip—just enough to let Tsunade slide down until her feet touched the floor.
"It's not a letter requesting the hat," Azula said, a satisfied smile appearing on her face. "It's confirmation."
Tsunade blinked.
"Confirmation of what?" Then she realized something. "Don't tell me it's what I think it's."
Azula reached past her, plucking the scroll from the desk and breaking the seal in one smooth motion.
She unrolled it, scanned the contents, and then she handed it over to Tsunade.
"By decree of the Fire Daimyō, in accordance with the nomination of the Third Hokage, the title of Fourth Hokage is hereby conferred upon Azula of the Uchiha Clan, effective immediately."
Tsunade read it twice. "You're serious."
"As a blade to the throat."
(END OF THE CHAPTER)
Socrates: Know thyself.
Me: I know thyself. Thyself needs a hug.
Socrates: Why?
Me: Thyself has mommy issues.
Socrates: And if the mommy issues are the source of your writing power, should you truly wish to be rid of them?
Me: ...You're just saying that because you're scared of what a well-adjusted Melonlord would write.
Socrates: What in the name of the gods is a "Melonlord"?
Me: The product of the aforementioned mommy issues. Next question.
Me: ... Also, a well-adjusted Melonlord would probably just write slice-of-life fluff.