By the time Hodge Blackthorn finished lunch and headed to Defense Against the Dark Arts, rumors had already swept through Hogwarts like wildfire.
According to some, the Ministry of Magic had stormed the school to arrest students, led by none other than Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody, Dumbledore's old friend. Under Professor McGonagall's watchful eye, Harry and Ron had fought valiantly but were hopelessly outmatched, ultimately captured and doomed to spend the rest of their lives in prison.
The chaos had even dragged Professor Lockhart into the mess. Word was he was lying in the Hospital Wing, struck by eighteen Stunning Spells.
It was a tragic affair—at least for Dumbledore, who now had to worry about finding a new professor. Fortunately, none of it was true. Or rather, Moody had been measured in his actions, and Lockhart was perfectly fine.
When Hodge stepped into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, he found Lockhart standing at the front, grinning ear to ear as if nothing had happened. The professor strutted back and forth, showing off his new robes, adjusting his stance to catch the light just right. He looked like a peacock fanning its tail.
"So, will we ever see Harry and Ron again?" Hodge asked, settling into a seat next to Hermione. His eyes followed Lockhart's relentless pacing, the professor clearly angling to display his best side to the students—like a peacock, again, flaunting its feathers. "I mean, not, like, through prison bars or anything…"
"Oh," Hermione said, drawing out the word.
She flipped a page in Wanderings with Werewolves, read two lines, and snapped it shut.
"What's on your mind?" she asked, fixing Hodge with a piercing stare. On the book's cover, Lockhart's oversized portrait winked dramatically, while the vampire in the background sulked at the boat's stern.
"What?"
"That Auror, Tonks, knows you," Hermione said. "While they were taking Professor Lockhart to the Hospital Wing, I chatted with her. She said she felt bad about it. Fudge is furious about the flying car incident, and someone suggested a full inspection of Hogwarts. Tonks said it was her idea, spur of the moment."
"I met Tonks at the book signing," Hodge said, nodding toward Lockhart, who predictably flashed him a dazzling smile. "It's probably fallout from last year's magical accidents. A lot of Squib descendants have awakened magical abilities, and they're stirring things up, drawing Muggle newspaper attention. The old laws don't apply to them, so the Ministry's considering new regulations."
Hermione frowned, thinking. "Then why is Fudge targeting the school?"
"I can only offer a grim guess," Hodge said. "Fudge isn't exactly a powerhouse. He became Minister through postwar compromises. Have you ever considered what Voldemort and his Death Eaters brought besides bloodshed? Ideas. At first, they were popular—pure-blood supremacy, wizard superiority, all that. They were political darlings for a moment, until it all went off the rails. Maybe Voldemort realized sending death threats was quicker than handing out sweets to win votes."
"Er…" Hermione blinked.
"After Voldemort fell, the Ministry couldn't just wipe out every family that supported him," Hodge continued. "Fudge was the compromise everyone could stomach. But for someone with no real talent, his biggest dream is to keep things as they are. The moment the situation demands political savvy, leadership, or handling complex problems, he's exposed for what he is: utterly out of his depth."
"He thinks someone's challenging his authority, so he's trying to flex it?" Hermione caught on instantly.
Hodge nodded slightly. The reality might be even darker.
For example, why had Fudge discontinued the school's Time-Turners? If you connected that to Ginny's suspiciously timed appearance beside Lucius Malfoy, snatching the Horcrux diary, it painted a chilling picture. Hodge sincerely hoped Voldemort was still hiding in some forgotten corner, playing the fool. Maybe the next time he poked his head out, he'd find the world had moved on without him.
"Ahem!"
The bell rang, and Lockhart cleared his throat. He waited for the class to settle, then picked up Neville's copy of Break with a Banshee. His smile was identical to the one plastered across the book's cover.
"I, Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award—but I don't boast about that. I didn't banish the Bandon Banshee with a smile!"
Hodge clapped twice, halfheartedly playing along.
"I see you've all bought my complete works—excellent. Today, we'll start with a little quiz. No need to panic! It's just to see how well you've read and absorbed my books. Thirty minutes. Begin!"
The students exchanged bewildered glances. A test on the first day? Unheard of. Hodge unfolded his parchment, scanning questions like "What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color?" and "What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?" He breezed through the first few dozen, answering swiftly and accurately—until the last handful stumped him.
Because Hermione, realizing he was sneaking glances at her paper, shielded it with her arm.
Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the quizzes and flipped through them at the podium.
"Tut, tut—hardly anyone remembered my favorite color is lilac. I mentioned it in Year with the Yeti. A few of you need to reread Weekend with a Werewolf—at least three answers are in there. But Miss Hermione Granger knows my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own line of hair-care potions. I'm also considering a perfume line—brilliant girl! Full marks! Where's Miss Hermione Granger?"
Hermione raised her hand, practically glowing with excitement.
"Splendid! Ten points to Gryffindor!" Lockhart beamed. Hermione shot Hodge a smug, challenging look. Then Lockhart pulled out another paper. "One other student got the first forty questions correct but left the rest blank—curious, for personal reasons. Mr. Hodge Blackthorn?"
"Sorry, Professor Lockhart," Hodge said coolly. "I'm a slow writer. I kept getting distracted—your trick with fireworks and a tripping jinx to trap that troll was just so clever. I didn't even know troll joints worked differently from humans'. Did those kids from Antrim County ever send you a thank-you note?"
"Ah!" Lockhart's face lit up. "One of my proudest moments." For the next ten minutes, he regaled the class with a detailed account of his thought process and emotions during the feat.
"…and in the end, I saved those two children with ease!" Lockhart punctuated the story with a dramatic fist pump. "Just like that!" He tossed ten points to Ravenclaw for good measure.
For the rest of the class, Hermione didn't say a single full sentence to Hodge.
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