"I am sorry to inform you that we lost the baby."
..
..
..
Silence ensued as Leilani tilted her head and stared at the doctor for a few minutes before he moved closer to her and shook her gently.
"Are you okay, ma'am?"
"I… I didn't get you," she shook her head.
Did he intend to pass that news to someone else?
"We are sorry. We tried our…"
"Hold on. What baby?" She cut him short, her brows pulling together.
"What?"
"You said I lost my baby. I don't understand you," she let out a dry chuckle.
"You… you didn't know that you were pregnant?"
Leilani stiffened and widened her eyes.
Pregnant?
She had never been pregnant for once since her four years in marriage, so how could she have miscarried a baby she didn't even have?
"You are mistaken," she shook her head.
"I'm sorry, ma'am."
"No! There is no way I was… pregnant!" She cried out.
"You are wrong with the test result. Run it again."
Her eyes darted as she shook her head at the piece of information that she had just received.
There was no way she would be pregnant without knowing.
All through her four years of marriage, she had kept up with the disdains from her in-laws because she could not bear a child, and now that she…
No way.
No!
No way!
Her mind slipped back to what had happened earlier today, in the morning, and she sighed.
She had not prepared breakfast on time and her mother in law had gotten into a fight with her.
As usual, she had called her names, and she had done everything to make the woman forgive her even when she flung a plate in her direction which hit her belly.
Her husband had not taken it lightly either. He had shoved her down the stairs and had not even batted an eye even while she cried out in pain, holding her belly while she recoiled on the floor.
"Ma'am!"
The distinct voice of the doctor jerked her back and she sniffed.
Their housekeeper had brought her to the hospital while she bled and never does it occur to her on her way here that she was pregnant.
She saw no sign of being pregnant.
Her menstrual cycle was perfect.
It had not missed and there were no raging hormones or anything of sort.
"Run the test again," she said to the doctor, refusing to believe his words.
"I am sorry, ma'am."
"And according to our analysis, we suspect that you have been pregnant for about six weeks before… the miscarriage," he announced.
"No, no, my baby!" She screamed, pulled out the IV transfusion and then recoiled in the bed.
Leilani, forcefully, dragged herself out of the ward even when he continued calling her back. She tugged her feet as she walked outside the hospital, completely lost in thought.
Maybe if she had known earlier, she would have done everything she could to keep this baby. Maybe this would change her husband's mind, maybe he would love her better than he did now.
Maybe… or, maybe not.
As she boarded a taxi, she panicked. How could she explain this to Jonathan? That she lost the baby they had been trying so hard to find? He wouldn't be angry, would he?
Afterall, it was entirely their fault. He had pushed her and had caused a lot of harm. He wouldn't be pissed about this news, right?
Remembering how her husband had shoved her to the floor, she breathed out, closed her eyes, and then rested her head on the headrest.
It was just breakfast, how could he overreact that way?
After a short drive, the car pulled in front of their apartment, and then she got down after paying the driver.
She exhaled loudly when she got to the doorstep and then deliberately knocked on the door. She wasn't a guest, this was her husband's house, and there wasn't any need to knock. But she felt the need to.
She remembered when she had gone against her mother-in-law and sister-in-law living with them, but Jonathan had said it would only create more bonds with his family. And since Leilani never received family love as an orphan, she had agreed that Jonathan's family would stay with them.
After several knocks, she went in. Like she had interrupted a very important meeting, she froze when she saw the family gathered, full of laughter. They were usually not like this and her heart lit with joy, possibly they accepted her news with compassion.
"Mother…" Leilani had rushed to her mother-in-law's feet where she sat. She smiled dryly. "You look beautiful, what is the occasion," she had tried to work up a conversation.
"Oh, please!" Her mother-in-law, Nancy, threw her feet in her direction and then hissed.
Leilani moved away, her heart sinking. She was used to Nancy's usual insults, but there was a guest and she had thought Nancy would be nicer. Not especially after what had ensued between them in the morning.
She looked over to where Jonathan sat. He was sitting closely with a lady whom Leilani was just seeing for the first time. She didn't mind, she only wanted to speak with Jonathan. They had fought before she was rushed to the hospital by the housekeeper. She needed to settle things with her husband.
"Jonathan…I want to talk to you," She stuttered.
"You have eyes, Leilani. I have a guest!" He snapped.
She swallowed hard, glanced at the woman who rolled her eyes at her, and then nodded her head.
Trying not to read much meaning to it, she clasped her hands together and then sniffed.
"I… it is important. I just want…"
"If you have nothing to say to us as a whole, just swallow it!" his mother, Nancy replied. "Did you lose your sight, or you did not see a guest sitting? You got yourself admitted to the hospital just for a little fall. Don't be dramatic, please!
"Mother, please…" Jonathan said, cutting Nancy short. Leilani felt butterflies in her belly at her husband's defense, but her mood quickly changed in seconds when Jonathan continued. "Let her say all she has to say now, it is her last chance to be listened to, anyway."
Whatever he meant by the last chance.
"Actually," Leilani muttered. "I am just coming back from the hospital…"
"Yes, and?" Jonathan frowned. She swallowed.
She had been in the hospital since morning but he had not checked up on her nor even called when she had literally spent a whole day there.
Did he even notice her absence?
"The doctor said…" Leilani continued. "I...." Tears welled up in her eyes. "I had a miscarriage… I lost our baby," she cried, the tears rolling down her cheeks.
She had thought she saw concern in Jonathan's eyes, but it was brief, and then a chorus of laughter from him, and his mum, "For four years, you were never pregnant. Now you only fell, and you're cooking up stories about having a miscarriage," he laughed.
"I promise, I am not lying Jonathan."
"You are barren!" He screamed, getting up to his feet. His hands were locked in with the other lady and Leilani saw it. "You are not fruitful and can never be. You cannot produce a child for me and there is no need to lie about it!"
"The doctor….he was right. I was six weeks pregnant, we can..."
"Stop," he placed his hands forward. "I do not wish to hit your face in front of my guest." He barked.
He had done it before. Once… No, two times.
He said it was a mistake and she had agreed even without getting a proper apology from him.
So, she knew he could actually hit her at the moment if he wanted to.
"Jonathan…" The guest held his hand closer and placed her hand on his chest, calming him down. "Please, don't shout…the baby might be scared," She rubbed her belly.
Jonathan leaned down to kiss her forehead and then her belly, "I am sorry, my love," he apologized.
My love?!
The baby?!
She swallowed the lump in her throat and then shook her head vigorously.
What game was he trying to pull on her?
There was no way this was what she was thinking!
"W… what are… What is going on?" she asked through teary eyes.
All she wanted at the moment was to be in her husband's arms while he tried to relieve her of the pain of her miscarriage, not this!