The castle was still full of laughter after the Halloween dinner, with enchanted pumpkins floating through the hallways and the Great Hall. When a group of Hufflepuffs decided to head back to their common room with full stomachs, the students' robes still smelled like treacle tart and spiced pumpkin juice.
Kronk walked calmly at the front of the Hufflepuff group, a satisfied smile on his face thanks to his newfound friendship with Hermione and a small Tupperware in his hand filled with leftover pumpkin pie.
Sure, the kitchens were right next door if he got hungry.
But wasting food was wrong!
He was humming a tuneless melody while behind him, Hannah Abbott, Ernie Macmillan, and a few others chatted about the enchanted jack-o'-lanterns, trying to agree on which design was the best this year.
Suddenly, a deafening crash shook the corridor, the ceiling trembled, and a second later, a door was torn off its hinges and flew over the group, slamming into the wall with a loud CLANG!
"What was that?!" Justin Finch-Fletchley squealed.
From the far end of the hallway emerged a massive lump of flesh, grime, and stench.
A ten-foot mountain troll, its face as wrinkled as a wet sock and holding a club larger than Snape's desk, staggered forward, grunting as it sniffed the air in their direction.
Everyone screamed at the sight of the stinky intruder.
Kronk turned on his heels and murmured to a fellow student beside him:
"Is this part of the party?"
The student responded by rolling his eyes back and fainting flat onto the floor.
"I think that's a no," said the little angel on Kronk's right shoulder, glancing worriedly at the unconscious boy.
The troll roared and lurched forward, causing the Hufflepuffs to retreat in panic. One of them tripped on their robes and fell to the ground, bringing the fainted total to two.
Kronk didn't think twice.
"Guys, get back! I've got this!"
"WHAT?!" everyone yelled.
But Kronk was already stepping forward, carefully placing his Tupperware on a nearby ledge.
The troll growled louder and raised its club to smash him.
"Hold it right there, big guy!" Kronk shouted, pulling... a wooden spoon from his pocket.
The troll blinked, club still raised.
Wasn't this the part where the food pulled out a stick and threw lights that tickled?
Kronk waved the spoon like a wand.
"You don't wanna mess with someone who can make five types of soufflé without them collapsing. Back off!" he declared with the kind of heroic flair only possible when brandishing a utensil of arboreal origin.
The troll did not look impressed.
It growled and slammed down hard.
This food was treating him like he was dumb — outrageous!
Kronk spun elegantly, dodging the blow with a somersault surprisingly agile for his size. He looked left and right — it was time to use his special tactic.
"Stealth mode: activated," he whispered, pressing himself against the wall, hidden behind a decorative suit of armor while mimicking its expression.
The troll, confused, grunted as it looked around.
Its tiny brain couldn't quite grasp how it had lost sight of a man nearly two meters tall, and the Hufflepuffs watching the scene were ready to smack their foreheads, unable to believe Kronk's tactic had actually worked.
Okay, sure, the opponent was a troll, but still...
Kronk peeked his head out from behind the armor's helmet.
"Okay… I need a plan."
The little devil on his left shoulder poked him in the face with a trident and grinned, pointing upward.
Following the gesture, Kronk looked up, and his eyes lit up at the sight of something above.
One of the enchanted floating Halloween pumpkins was still hovering over the corridor, glowing with a flickering internal flame.
"Aha..."
Carefully, Kronk climbed the wall supports like a koala until he reached one of the crossbeams.
The troll was still looking around, scratching its belly with one hand.
From above, Kronk calculated the movement, pulled a rope from inside his robe (why did he have it? No one knows), tied it to a decorative chain, and swung like a pendulum, holding the floating pumpkin in his arms.
"AaaaaaAAAAAAaaaahh!" he cried in a war voice as he descended.
The troll looked up… just in time to receive an enchanted pumpkin the size of a watermelon straight to the face.
BOOM!
FLAAASH!
The lighting charm inside the pumpkin exploded on impact, releasing a brilliant orange flash that temporarily blinded the troll.
"Plan B! Plan B!" Kronk shouted as he landed clumsily on the troll's back.
Straddling its shoulders, the giant staggered, trying to shake him off, but Kronk used the chain to bind its arms.
Every time the troll tried to hit him, it ended up hurting itself.
Finally, Kronk shouted:
"Time for the Pacha Special Hold!" — and with an implausible but perfectly executed move, he got the troll into a chokehold.
The troll struggled… gasped… and fainted from lack of oxygen, collapsing face-first with Kronk still clinging on like a giant human backpack.
Silence fell.
All the students peeked out into the hallway.
Kronk stood up, covered in slobber and pumpkin guts, and gave a thumbs up.
Just then, McGonagall and Dumbledore arrived, wands at the ready.
McGonagall stared at the scene in disbelief.
"What in Merlin's name…?"
Dumbledore looked at the bound, pumpkin-covered troll.
Wait... was the troll's face purple?
Could it be… poison?
"It was Kronk!" several Hufflepuffs shouted.
"He saved all of us!" added Ernie, eyes wide.
Dumbledore exhaled in relief and smiled at the student who stood at least a head taller than him — hat included.
"Mr. Kronk, you've demonstrated a blend of bravery and creativity that I seldom see," he said. "Therefore, I award twenty points to Hufflepuff."
The students burst into cheers.
McGonagall, still frowning, muttered under her breath:
"I don't think rewarding recklessness is wise," worried this might inflate Kronk's ego.
As the professors departed with the floating, pumpkin-covered troll, Kronk retrieved his Tupperware, looked at it, and said sadly:
"Hmm... I don't think I'm hungry anymore."
Being that close to a troll's body odor can really kill anyone's appetite.