"This guy actually did it…" Edward's mouth twitched as he watched the musclebound man literally split a tree with his crotch.
A small wave of exclamations rippled through the stadium. Clearly, this contestant from the Johto region had earned the audience's respect with his overwhelming physical prowess.
After dismounting from the tree, the man pointed both hands toward his crotch. On the camera feed, they could see a line of worn-out text across his pants:
"Iron Dojo – Get as Strong as Me!"
"…He's even advertising. I have to say—what talent." Steven looked pleased.
Edward gave his brother a sidelong glance. Seriously? This is the time to be saying that?
"Hey, Lance, I didn't know your Johto region produced such... geniuses~" Cynthia teased, a playful look on her face. Lance's expression darkened.
The director quickly cut the camera. They couldn't very well keep pointing it at someone's crotch the entire time.
As for whether the man would pass the round, the judges were clearly at a loss. After all, the Tom Tree Contest was technically meant for Pokémon to participate in. The organizers hadn't even considered the possibility of a human joining the competition.
After all, using your crotch to split a tree? That should've been impossible. But today proved that every strange, ridiculous rule often had an even stranger and more ridiculous story behind it.
"…I think he's just here as a tourist," Lance muttered expressionlessly. As the current Champion of both Johto and Kanto, his pride was clearly wounded.
Although Lance still officially held the champion title for both regions, even Edward knew that he'd soon be stepping down as Kanto's Champion. A new Champion was already on the horizon—provided they could defeat the Elite Four and stand before Lance.
In the early days of the Pokémon League, especially when it was limited to just Kanto and Johto, some odd things had happened. For example, the supposed "Dragon-type Champion" having more Flying-types, or a "Ghost-type Elite Four" member barely using any Ghost-types at all.
It wasn't until Edward had a chat with Lance that he learned: those were just Lance's flexible lineups. His true full-power team was only brought out in Masters-level matches or against challengers who had completely steamrolled through the eight Gym Leaders.
In reality, not every challenger even got to battle the Gym Leader.
Otherwise, Gym Leaders would have nothing else to do all day.
Instead, battles were tiered. If a trainer's skill wasn't high enough, they would be matched with elite members or apprentices. Only those with outstanding strength could apply for a true Gym Leader battle.
Only the eighth and final Gym always guaranteed a match against the actual Gym Leader.
This system was meant to support Gym Leaders. Otherwise, with the sheer number of challengers every day, they'd never catch a break unless they could Shadow Clone Jutsu themselves.
Even if a challenger faced a Gym Leader, that didn't mean they were facing the Leader's full strength. Most had two teams: one "flexible" team for regular challengers, and a real, serious team used in top-tier battles.
"I heard that this year, in Kanto, there's a really talented young trainer who, on their first Gym Challenge, defeated a Gym Leader who used one main battler and two flex picks," Cynthia added, joining the conversation.
For Champions, the most exciting thing in the world was battling strong opponents. Naturally, when a prodigy appeared, they paid attention.
"Yeah, his name is Green. He's Professor Oak's grandson," Lance said, his expression tinged with expectation.
If Green could rise to the occasion, Lance would finally be free of his Kanto duties—and have way more free time.
"Green?" Edward blinked. No way. This world is that wild?
He knew of Green—a strong rival, and in some versions of the game, even the Champion. But if memory served, he was ultimately defeated by Red.
"You know him?" Lance asked curiously.
Edward shook his head. "Nah."
He didn't really know Green—it was just that the name triggered some strong memories. Still, considering that Lance was holding two Champion positions, it made sense that someone like Green would be introduced soon.
Once Cynthia heard that Green was Professor Oak's grandson, she, too, understood.
She knew of Professor Oak—an incredible Pokémon Professor and an excellent breeder. With someone like that backing Green, it was only a matter of time before the boy rose to greatness.
"Champion Lance, I've heard a rumor… That Professor Oak used to be the Champion of Kanto?" Edward suddenly recalled a piece of hearsay from his previous life.
According to one game screenshot, someone had somehow triggered a battle with Professor Oak. The Pokémon he used were stronger than the usual Champion team, which led to speculation that Oak had once been Champion-level.
"Not really. Professor Oak was an exceptional trainer, according to Elite Four member Agatha… but he gave that up long ago." Lance shook his head, looking puzzled.
Figures, Edward thought. Sometimes those online rumors were just too unreliable.
His attention returned to the venue's big screens, where he scanned across the different regions—until a familiar girl appeared on the Paldea Region's screen.
Iono.
She was fairly popular, so her joining the competition wasn't surprising. After all, her career was a bit influencer-esque.
"…Fewer people are doing crazy stuff now," Edward sighed. That muscular guy had been an eyesore—but at least he was entertaining.
"Brother," Steven said suddenly, placing a hand on Edward's shoulder with a friendly smile. "Why don't you go up there and do something wild?"
Edward's mouth twitched. No thanks. He just wanted to watch people act insane—not join them.
"…What the hell." Lance's sudden exclamation made Steven and Edward whip their heads toward the screen.
"…What the hell?!" Edward also cracked.
What the hell is this?!
Someone please explain why Tobias, that inexplicable and mysterious trainer holding two Legendary Pokémon, was also competing in this ridiculous Contest?!
(Well, one since Darkrai is a Mythical Pokémon)
And he sent out Darkrai—the literal god of nightmares—to participate?!
Tobias. The most baffling character of all. Edward had always suspected his entire existence was just to stop Ash from winning championships.
(End of Chapter)