The walk home to say goodbye felt surreal. I had to tell my family I'd be away for a while, hoping the children wouldn't rely too much on my daily food deliveries. The contrast between home and the Guild always struck me like stepping into an entirely different world. Now that I'd adapted to that new sphere, I could never fully return to how things were before.
Halfway there, a young beggar tried to steal my coin pouch—I used to do the same thing myself, just in reverse. I caught him easily; the weakness I once carried was fading fast. But when I had to kick him down to retrieve my property, guilt gnawed at me. Even with food in hand, it wasn't hard to spare something. I didn't hit hard—hopefully no bruises remained. I hoped not.
After he returned my pouch, I gave him a small bread roll and told him to eat slowly. My money was meant for my family, but… I couldn't become someone like Grigg—not ever.
Soon enough, I arrived home—everything as usual. The kids swarmed me with hugs, followed by the usual food distribution. Then came the unusual part: Orville wasn't with me today. Everyone seemed disappointed. He usually accompanied me most days, but with our first hunt approaching, I didn't want to bother him right now.
Once the children had their food, Lynn emerged from the shack. Her usual goofy smile was gone, replaced by deep pride. She walked over and pulled me into a long, tight embrace.
"Vita," she whispered, "thank you so much. You've truly been our savior these past few weeks."
"Really? Like a life-saver?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. It mattered whether it was literal or metaphorical.
She frowned slightly.
"...Maybe. I've come to depend on you. The Backbenders seem to think since you're helping me, I can take on more work for them."
I frowned too. Were they tightening the noose?
"...Well, you should tell them I won't be available for a while. I leave tomorrow for my first hunt."
Lynn's eyes widened, worry blooming across her freckled face.
"Truly? So soon? They sent you out after only a few weeks of training? Is the Guild alright?"
"They said we're well-suited for this mission," I shrugged. "Don't know if there's more to it, but the task fits our team. And Remus is coming—he's powerful enough that I doubt anything will go wrong. I expect we'll be gone about five days. Wait and see—I'll come back richer and stronger."
Lynn took a deep breath, then bent down and lifted me off the ground. I startled badly, nearly reaching for my spear, but I wrapped my arms around her instead.
"Be careful," she whispered in my ear. "The Backbenders are cunning—they'll squeeze every penny dry. They use me, and have no intention of letting us clear our debt."
That was exactly what I feared.
"Hmph. They don't realize how stubborn people who've survived hardship can be," I whispered back. "They might end up losing more than they gain."
"Vita, be cautious," she warned. "They control everything—not by luck."
I nodded, and she set me down.
"Well! This is your first big hunt, isn't it?" She grinned again, her silly expression returning. "Don't make me cry, Vita. The boys already tease me for acting like a mother hen."
She was a mother hen—but I wasn't sure I should say that aloud. Most of these children were raised by her, and though I'd known her only a year, she was the closest thing I had to family. Still, one question lingered…
"Lynn," I asked, "why do you do all this? These… kind things? It feels strange sometimes."
She puffed her cheeks and exhaled.
"Now that's a tough one. Why do you do it?"
I blinked, confused.
"I owe you. I promised to help."
"Nonsense," she waved a hand. "You don't owe me anything. That's the point of kindness—it's freely given. Of course I appreciate your help, but if you someday decide not to come back, I won't be surprised or disappointed. There's nothing stopping you from keeping everything for yourself—you know that, right? So why do you still do it?"
Was she testing me?
"I didn't ask about myself," I muttered defensively.
"Your answer is part of mine," she said smugly. "Come on, little one."
"I'm not little anymore," I mumbled, thinking.
Lynn was the reason I did any of this—if not for her, I wouldn't be alive. The question seemed simple, yet answering it was harder than expected.
"I guess…" I finally said, "if I betrayed you, I'd hate myself."
"Mm," she nodded, "maybe that's the key. We must live with ourselves—otherwise, we're no better than walking corpses. I was a thief, kid. Don't know if I can stop being one. The thrill of tricking everyone and vanishing into the night… it's addictive. But one day I wondered—are those feelings making me a bad person? I am a criminal, living off others' misfortunes. It unsettled me. So I started targeting those I deemed 'deserving'—scumbags, hoarders, oppressors. Even then, I still felt uneasy. In the end, I was just a woman stealing for the sake of it. Then one day, I decided—what if I gave everything away instead?"
She gestured toward me, the shack, and the children listening intently. Lynn rarely spoke of her past—we all avoided it.
"There! Now I could feed hungry orphans. It made me feel clean again, superior even. You all became my justification."
She shrugged. I frowned.
"But you care about us, right?"
"That's what matters most," she answered seriously. "For you rascals, I'd do anything—literally anything. I surprise myself with how much I care."
I swallowed, holding back another hug.
"I… I feel the same," I choked out. "Lynn, please stay safe while I'm gone."
"Hey! That line's mine!" she laughed. "If anything happens to you, I don't know what I'd do."
Hmph. I knew exactly what I'd do if she were harmed. Let's hope it never comes to that.
Her smile softened.
"Hey, don't look like that, Vita. I'll be fine. Just focus on yourself, okay? I'll say hello to Rowan for you—I expect he won't be back before you leave."
A shame. Well, I'd hug him when I returned.
"Thank you, Lynn," I said, voice catching. "For everything. I just… I wanted to say…"
I trailed off—the words stuck in my throat. How could I express everything I felt?
"We know we're not just excuses, Lynn. You're good—maybe I'm not qualified to judge, but among everyone I've met, you're the best. Never forget that."
Surprise flickered across her face, briefly erasing her smile—then it returned brighter than ever.
"Oh, Vita! Come here, you sweet girl!"
She lifted me again, hugging tightly.
"You really are a precious child!"
Still calling me girl? Fine—I'd strike back.
"Hmph. You're the best mom anyone could ask for. One-of-a-kind."
"Ahh!" she gasped. "Don't… don't say that, Vita! Don't I seem more like a sister?"
"Not really," I declared firmly. "You're a mom now. My mom."
She set me down dramatically clutching her chest.
"Ah! My own child treating me like this! You wound me, deeply!"
"Hey, Mom," I teased, watching her fake sniffles, "since you're my mom now, our biomancer wants me to ask—what's menstruation?"
She paused, eyebrows lifting—then she laughed. Uh-oh, time for revenge!
"Oh! I thought you already knew! Since you're not a child anymore."
"...Lynn." I warned.
"Alright, alright!" she giggled, patting herself below the waist. "It's when blood comes out of there—that's it!"
I blinked.
"...You're joking, right?"
She frowned slightly, deflating.
"Ahh? You're serious? Uh… no, I'm not. Come downstairs—I guess I should explain properly. You're starting soon…?"
I followed her downstairs as she launched into an explanation of female puberty—most of which sounded like "might happen" or "could happen." I tried to memorize it all, though my head spun afterward. All women went through this? How had I never known?! Good I asked—otherwise I'd have panicked when it began. Afterward, we chatted about other things, but the topic left me shaken. Sigh. Maybe becoming a necromancer would help me avoid this whole mess.
"Oh, I meant to mention—last week, Squeegs and Friggs came to me. Basically demanding future payments."
"I heard," Lynn frowned. "When they told me, I almost killed them both. Vita, watch those two carefully. You're lucky the fat one likes you."
"I don't think they're that strong," I said.
"They're not the strongest," she hedged. "In a fair fight, you might survive. The problem is, if they target you, they'll strike secretly—unpredictable. But if you kill them first, the entire Guild will turn against you…"
"I understand," I said. "It's just strange hearing such warnings from someone as cheerful as you."
"You calling my advice a 'murder suggestion,' tiny cute girl? Are you sure you've been doing alright?"
"I have food now," I simply replied.
"Life is more than food, Vita."
"Tell that to the starving."
I stood, stretching. Night approached. Lynn hugged me one last time—a farewell. I hugged back joyfully, squeezing tightly.
"Good luck out there," she said. "I'll miss you while you're gone, so hurry back, alright?"
"I will. Promise."
I climbed the ladder to say goodbye to the kids, then returned to the Guild dorm before dark. When I got back, Nora was already snoring, and Penelope stayed up, focused on her mice. I knew her work required concentration and skill—but from my angle, it looked like she was staring intensely at a mouse. I barely suppressed a laugh, but managed.
My teammates were busy. Before this crucial day, I should try resting too. I undressed, lay on my bed, held Roscoe close, and drifted off to sleep, following Nora's snores into dreams.