I don't know why I still believe people when they make promises. Maybe because a part of me wants to trust them. Or maybe I'm just foolish.
Today, Ire promised she'd walk home with me after school. She said it during Math class, scribbled it on a piece of paper and tossed it to me. "Let's go home together today. I miss us."For the first time in days, I smiled. A real, actual smile. I started counting down the minutes to closing time like my life depended on it.
I imagined how we'd talk like we used to, about silly things — annoying teachers, crushes, and how weird people in school can be. I thought maybe, just maybe, things could go back to the way they were.
But when the bell rang, I waited by the school gate.
And waited.
And waited.
The sun was already dipping low in the sky when I finally saw her. She wasn't alone. She was with Bryant and the other girls from her new squad. Laughing, joking, taking pictures. She saw me. Our eyes met for a second — just one second — and she quickly looked away.
I waited a little longer, telling myself she was just saying goodbye to them. That she'd come running over with some silly excuse. But she didn't. She left with them.
Without me.
I walked home alone again. This time, it felt heavier. Like every step I took was dragging all the hurt behind me. I kept remembering that note she passed me. "I miss us."Liar.
When I got home, I tore the note to pieces and threw it in the bin. But the words wouldn't leave my head. They kept echoing.
I promised myself I wouldn't cry over her again.
I lied.
Dear Diary,I don't know why people say things they don't mean. Why make promises you won't keep?Ire promised me today. And like a fool, I believed her.I wish I could un-know people sometimes. It hurts less when you don't expect anything.Maybe from now on, I'll expect nothing. From anyone.
– Amiya