"NO!!!"
"YAMEROOO!!!"
"YAMETE KUDASAIIII!!!"
Lucas rolled the dice, one guy collapsed.
Lucas spun the roulette wheel, three guys collapsed.
Lucas laid down cards totaling 21 in blackjack, all ten guys collapsed.
"SOMEBODY! SOMEBODY STOP HIM!!"
Lucas kicked a soccer ball into the goalkeeper's net, all eleven people flew into the goal.
"DAMN IT! IF YOU'VE GOT THE GUTS THEN TRY THE SLOT MACHINE!"
Lucas pulled the lever, and immediately the slot machine hit 777, jackpot.
"WHAT THE— UHAH!!" The tokens shot out and slammed into the speaker, sending him flying.
"MY TURN! TRY BETTING ON ONE OF THESE FOUR TURTLES AND SEE WHICH ONE REACHES THE FINISH LINE FIRST!" someone said, pointing at a small racetrack.
"Then... I'll pick number 1," Lucas chose randomly, making the other guy smirk to himself.
'You idiot! Yours is the slowest one in the bunch, and mine is a rabbit disguised as turtle number 3! You've already lost!'
"Fine! Then I'll pick number 3! Start—"
Turtle number 2 suddenly took off its shell, revealing eight-pack abs, walked over, and started flirting with the rabbit disguised as turtle number 3.
"Señorita, te ves tan linda... ¿puedo darle un beso a tu culo?" the turtle said in a romantic voice while holding a rose in its mouth.
"Mais je suis un homme ! Nous ne pouvons pas être ensemble..." the rabbit replied shyly.
?
What is this? What's going on? What language are they speaking?
"Oh, amor mío, eso es aún mejor."
"Gasp!"
Did you just gasp in your own dialogue?
Then the turtle led the now-undressed rabbit toward the sunset and they shared a pure kiss.
At that exact moment turtle number 1 crossed the finish line while number 4 stood there with its mouth wide open watching what had just happened.
"What the fu— UHAH!!" The tokens from him flew over to Lucas.
"This guy is definitely going to bankrupt this club!!!"
"Let me stop him!"
Lucas saw a senior walk forward with a fearless expression and pull out a revolver.
"Wanna play Ursara roulette with me?!" (Ursara is the Russia of this world)
"I think I should stop here—" Lucas said tiredly, not wanting to play anymore, but got cut off.
"PLAY! NEW RECRUIT, MAKE HIM COMMIT SUICIDE!!"
"THAT'S TOO MUCH!" Lucas said in fear.
Yet the whole group still pushed Lucas into the seat. The opponent loaded a strange bullet into the cylinder, spun it hard, then tossed it into the air to prove he wasn't cheating and to prevent sharp-eyed people from seeing.
Honestly, the important thing in this game is who goes first, because if you clearly know where the bullet is then you have to choose whether to go first or second.
"You go first!" the opponent said, handing the gun to him.
"Uhm..."
Lucas was terrified to the extreme, raised the gun to his head, looking like he was about to die.
The opponent smiled.
Because the bullet was right there at this moment! He felt so lucky!
Seeing Lucas so scared, everyone from the sports club started cheering.
"Don't be afraid! Just shout Persona and nothing will happen!!"
"Everyone dies someday! Just stay calm and confident! Memento mori you know?!"
"Just imagine that gun is an Evoker! Just believe it will grant you some special power!!"
The things you people are saying are making me more worried than usual!!
Lucas sweated, closed his eyes, and decided to follow along.
"Per...so...na"
Boom!
The gun exploded into pieces. The bullet that should have gone into Lucas's brain instead turned around and aimed at the opponent.
???
The opponent panicked and activated a psychic card in just 0.2 seconds purely by instinct.
The scattered metal fragments of the gun gathered together to block the bullet.
However, before the bullet touched them it stopped, then took a detour.
??????
IT DOESN'T FOLLOW A SINGLE BIT OF LOGIC!!
AND IT'S ABOUT TO HIT HIS FOREHEAD!!!
"YOU MOTHERFU—!!"
The bullet hit his forehead and he collapsed on the spot.
Luckily it wasn't a real bullet, just a tranquilizer...
Tokens began flying toward Lucas, orbiting around him as if he were the Avatar.
"Damn, even plot armor isn't this blatant..."
"This is so unreasonable... What the hell is the author doing?"
Everyone started panicking at the level of luck that made even plot armor look exaggerated, while Lucas still had no idea what was happening.
"No... I can't accept this!" some guy slammed the table, making everyone turn to look.
"You... you've not only won every match, you've also humiliated our brothers, made us suffer the greatest shame, you have to pay the price!" He pointed straight at Lucas as if he held an unforgettable grudge against him.
Alright, who the hell are you?
"Honey what are you doing? Sit down!"
"Get off me woman! Women are just obstacles to the speed of my gambling!"
Damn, he's so sigma. In the future I'm afraid no girl will dare approach him.
"Who are you?" Lucas asked.
"You already forgot?! I'm the guy who blah blah bleh bleh bluh bluh, don't tell me you forgot!"
"Hm, i see," Lucas put his hand on his chin and spoke as if he understood even though he had no idea what the guy was saying.
So who the hell is this guy anyway? An NPC who got lost and is pretending to know him?
As expected this club is truly abnormal. Better not get involved any further!
"Alright everyone, I'm stopping here. I've already earned way too many credits..."
"What?! You're scared kid?! You're scared because I'm about to play until your ass is ruined?!! You're scared that I'm about to make your virginity vanish with the seasons in one go kid?!!!" The guy slammed the table and pointed at Lucas while continuously talking.
...what a rude person, talking so vulgarly to a child? Aren't you afraid I'll report you to the teachers for soliciting an 11-year-old?
Ignore this guy and just find a way to leave.
"Yeah I'm scared, so I'm out."
"AHAHA, AS EXPECTED YOU'RE A COWARD— UHAH!!"
That guy fell flat, blood flowing from his head onto the floor, next to a brick that someone had thrown.
A murder?!!
"Talks too much."
A heavy, oppressive voice rang out making everyone fall silent.
For Lucas, who had only enrolled less than a week ago and didn't understand anything, but for everyone else they knew.
They all looked up and saw a man dressed like a loan shark, wearing sunglasses, blond hair slicked back, pure muscle, wearing a fur coat on the outside.
He was sitting on a super cool-looking golden throne being carried by four other people who were struggling to bring him and the throne down to where the group was.
...he looked exactly like the kind of person who would come to my house to collect debt and if I didn't pay would eat, drink, and wreck the place.
"It's Johnny! The gambling club president!" someone said.
The gambling club president?! No wonder he looks like a loan shark, so it's true. The type of person who looks like he'd beat a debtor half to death!
"And also a Steel-type Guardian!"
...huh?
"He's the gambling club president, as well as the strongest Steel-type Guardian the academy has ever had. He's the one who once punched a Troll to death, once tied an old lady to a tree and beat her, once robbed candy from kids and then kicked the kids into the sea, once made a yuri couple become obsessed with him, once made a guy who wanted to NTR him remember for life by playing with every woman in that guy's house including the female dog and the great-grandmother!!!"
Damn, what kind of profile is this?!!
"They call him... the Steel Lion!"
...if they didn't reveal his Guardian identity he would just look like a roadblock villain, but now that they've revealed it he suddenly feels like a major villain with his own arc.
No wonder this club exists, even though gambling is banned from the start...
"I heard you're the one causing a ruckus in my place?" Johnny said, still tilting his chin up, extremely arrogant.
"Uhm... yes?" Lucas trembled, sweating heavily.
"Hmm..."
Johnny glanced around, looking at each of the gambling games Lucas had played and won big at.
Then he smiled.
"Hmph, if you're that good at playing, want to play a round with me?"
In that instant the whole group went completely silent.
Because everyone knew Johnny was famous for...
Being worse at gambling than a little kid!
Yeah, he was good at everything else, but when it came to gambling he was like a caveman touching modern technology for the first time.
Yet he had never lost a single time!
Not because of luck, but because he would smash the games to pieces, so both sides received no tokens and he kept his undefeated streak of draws forever.
No one dared touch him, afraid they would be next.
"I don't play ordinary games. If we're playing it has to be the kind of game real men play, buddy," Johnny grinned.
"Then... what do we play?" Lucas asked slowly.
"Boys, lock the doors," Johnny said. His underlings obeyed and closed and locked the doors.
"Follow me," Johnny said, then the four carriers had to turn around to carry the throne he was sitting on.
Why does this sound like an execution is about to happen?
Lucas followed in fear. The others also followed out of curiosity, wondering what kind of gambling game Johnny wanted to play.
The whole group looked down at the extremely suspicious dark basement, then at each other.
"Hey, has Johnny ever... you know?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Like... has he ever touched a man?"
"...why are you asking that?"
"Looking down there makes me feel scared for some reason. What if he also likes playing yaoi? He even dared to play with animals..."
"..."
The words of those two made the whole group terrified to death. After all, every one of these guys liked beautiful girls and didn't want to be bent into being gay...
Whatever, nothing bad will happen for sure...
So the group went down and slowly opened the door at the bottom of the basement.
The scene before their eyes made everyone widen their eyes.
An arena floor, surrounded by seats. Inside the arena was enclosed by steel bars.
It looked no different from an MMA ring.
"Hurry up, buddy."
Lucas looked up and saw Johnny already standing inside the ring waiting for him.
...don't tell me?
Before he could finish the thought, the underlings had already dragged Lucas into the ring and locked the latch.
"Betting also counts as gambling, so I built this for the purpose of watching manly fights while still making money."
"And of course, you and I will fight each other."
This time the whole group went silent again.
...how is this any different from when you just punch each other?
Lucas was passionate but not stupid. Just one glance at Johnny's pile of muscles was enough to know he couldn't win.
How was this any different from suicide?
"Ah, I forgot to mention. I'm giving you two choices," Johnny began taking off his outer fur coat, revealing a tank top and a dollar-sign necklace along with his solid muscles.
"You can duel against me, or I'll use one weapon and you can use everything you have. Choose."
...?
Doesn't that mean both paths are still suicide?
Bro is a Steel Guardian, even the strongest compared to previous Steel Guardians, and he's also a decent fighter. If you want me to die just say it straight.
Seeing that either choice had a high chance of losing badly, he was forced to choose the one that gave him the highest hope of surviving the longest.
"I choose... I choose the first—"
"Good, so you choose the second one? Unleash everything you've got."
"Wait no, I said I choose the—"
Johnny pulled out a card and flicked it up. It immediately turned into brass knuckles which Johnny snatched and put on his hands.
Clang!
A few sparks flew when the two brass-knuckle-covered hands touched each other. Johnny smiled as he looked at Lucas.
"What are you hesitating for? Want me to hit you first?"
"..."
Mama save me!!!!!
*****
JustRey has been sending Power stones these past few days but hasn't left any comments. You don't necessarily have to send Power stones to support me. I'd like it more if you commented.