The clan base was unusually calm today.
No monster fights. No dramatic PvP duels. No spreadsheet-fueled breakdowns.
Just the usual background chaos of crafting, cooking buffs, and questionable conversations echoing across the voice channel.
It was almost… peaceful.
Until Touch Me opened his mouth.
"Hey, Sin," he began casually, "what's up with your aesthetic choices?"
Sin didn't even look up from his spreadsheet. "Which one?"
"Both of them."
Now Sin looked up.
Touch Me pointed his glowing, knightly bug-armored finger at him.
"Your first avatar is a faceless Archangel of Judgment. Blindfolded. Even though he doesn't have eyes."
Sin blinked.
Then blinked again.
"What's your point?"
"My point," Touch Me said, dramatically placing both hands on his waist, "is why the hell are you giving a blindfold to a character that doesn't even have a face to blindfold?"
Sin sat up straighter, indignant. "It's a divine-tier artifact! +15% HP regen, 20% magic resistance, AND resistance to crowd control. Why does it matter if I have eyes to cover or not?!"
"Because you look like you're trying to cosplay a cursed chandelier!"
"I am a cursed chandelier," Sin muttered.
"That's not the defense you think it is," Touch Me sighed.
The rest of the clan was starting to tune in now, curiosity piqued by the growing absurdity.
Ulbert laughed through the mic. "Wait until you see the new one."
Touch Me frowned. "What new one?"
Sin silently clicked a few buttons and sent over a preview screenshot of his new build-in-progress.
There was silence.
Then—
"…what the hell is that?" Touch Me said.
The new avatar was somehow worse. A towering, eldritch creature draped in void silk, a jagged halo cracked down the middle, and hundreds—literally hundreds—of glowing eyes floating around it in spiraling patterns.
No mouth.
No nose.
Still no face.
Touch Me was now audibly flustered. "Okay. First you had a faceless angel with a blindfold. Now you've got a horror with too many eyes but still no face? Do you have a fetish for faceless monstrosities or something?"
Sin raised both hands defensively. "I told you, I suck at designing faces! They always look weird. Plus, not having a face makes cosmetic choices easier. Don't need to worry about expressions or lip syncing—just ominous glowy void aesthetics. Done."
"That's not a design philosophy," Touch Me muttered. "That's aesthetic tax evasion."
Momonga chimed in. "I think it looks cool. Very Final Boss energy."
Sin gave him a thumbs-up. "Thanks."
"But," Momonga added thoughtfully, "maybe you could try a humanoid form someday. Like… a transformation or something. I mean, if you're ever gonna use those human cosmetic items."
"I'm not wasting ten million gold just to look like some hot anime guy. If I wanted that, I'd just play a human character," Sin said flatly.
"Bold of you to assume the hot anime guy wouldn't also be a monster on the inside," Ulbert added.
That's when Tabula Smaragdina decided to jump into the conversation.
"Actually, I think the concept has narrative potential," he said, his voice calm and scholarly. "Imagine… an Elder Lich horror who walks among mortals in a humanoid form. Like a dark messiah. Like a fallen angel pretending to be a man."
"Sounds like someone's been rewriting their backstory again," Peroroncino whispered.
Sin considered it. "I guess… that's kinda cool. Maybe. If I feel like writing lore."
"You could even make a questline out of it," Tabula offered. "Unlock the humanoid form through redemption. Or through betrayal. Up to you."
That's when Sin shot back, "You mean like your character? The brain-eating squid pervert in BDSM armor?"
The entire guild channel erupted.
Even Tabula paused.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me," Sin said. "Your avatar looks like a deep-sea cryptid that wandered into an adult store."
"I'll have you know, my design is based on ancient Lovecraftian concepts of cosmic horror—"
"And assless leather."
"You wound me."
"Your existence is a wound," Sin said dryly.
Momonga was laughing so hard he accidentally spit his drink onto his keyboard.
"Guys… guys… stop. My ribs—"
Peroroncino was wheezing. "I told you it looked like hentai bait! But nooo, 'It's art,' he said!"
"I regret nothing," Tabula said proudly. "Sin's still just salty that I have better tentacle physics."
As the laughter died down, Touch Me let out a deep sigh.
"You're all idiots," he muttered.
"You love us," Ulbert said.
"Sadly."
The rest of the evening devolved into more aesthetic roasting.
Sin accused Ulbert of looking like a medieval accountant who wandered into hell.
Touch Me was accused of cosplaying as a divine nightlight.
Momonga, to no one's surprise, was praised for his classic but stylish skeleton king look.
"I have taste," he declared smugly.
"You have one robe and two spells," Peroroncino shot back.
Sin sat back, satisfied.
His new avatar still looked like an unspeakable horror.
Still had no face.
Still had too many eyes.
But somehow, with this chaotic group of freaks and nerds yelling about tentacles and tragic backstories and accessory slot optimization…
It felt perfect.